He slowly turned his head to the window and inched toward it. His heart pounding out of his chest and his stomach churning in trepidation of the white shadows dancing before his eyes and growing in intensity as he neared the window. He groped the glass, feeling its warmth from the dawning sunrays. Excitement grew as he went to the second window and repeated the motion.
"Oh my God," he quavered, his hands trembling. A nervous laugh escaped his lips at the thought of his regaining his eyesight.
He swiveled around and started groping the empty space before him. He let out a small yelp when he stubbed his big toe on the bed frame leg as he excitedly stumbled for the door.
He leaned against the wall to calm himself before he cautiously climbed down the stairs to the living room. There is was again, the bright light that shone through the darkness. He was drawn to it like a beacon from a lighthouse pulling wandering ships to safety. He touched the glass, feeling its texture. He tilted his face up to drink up the sun's warmth.
"Steve, what are you doing?"
He turned to face her. "I can see."
"What?"
He turned to the window and flattened the palms of his hands against the glass. "I can see the light, Frances. It's a bright, white light. I can see it. I can see it," he gushed.
"Oh dear Lord!" Frances exhaled, shuddering with excitement. She stepped up to him and touched his face. "When?"
"It just happened a few minutes ago as I was putting on my clothes. You pulled up the blinds and there it was. Light."
Frances arms enfolded him in a bone-crushing, soul-stirring embrace that lingered for a while before they pulled apart and locked lips in a bruising kiss. "Come on, let's go see Doctor Carson. Hopefully Doctor Kailo will have good news on Danny's condition too."
Karen nervously paced the length of the waiting room like a caged animal, wringing her hands of all its blood, waiting for news on Danny. In a sidelong glance, she caught her sister leading a blind Steve toward her.
"Frances!" she wailed hysterically, running to her sister to meet her halfway. She fell into her arms, sobbing.
"My God Karen, what happened?" Frances was frantic with worry.
Steve's blank eyes darted back and forth, unfocused; seeing nothing and yet feeling every emotion in the room. "Where's Danny?"
"Euh...Doctor Kailo is with him right now," she said with a light stutter. "Oh Frances, I'm so afraid this is my fault."
"What are you talking about, your fault?"
"I told him about the psychosomatic thing and...and ...oh God you should have seen him. He was incensed. He hated me for saying thaaat..." her voice trailed off at the memory of that day.
"Karen?" Steve goaded her to finish her thought. "What was he upset about?"
Karen gulped back tears and glanced at her sister who shook her head in disapproval of telling Steve the reason. "He...he was upset because...well...he can't bear being stuck in that wheelchair," she deftly fibbed her way out of the issue.
"Let's all sit down," Frances suggested to lighten the tension.
"Frannie, I hope I didn't worsen his condition. I'd die if anything happened to him. He's been through so much."
Frances wrapped an arm around her baby sister's shoulders and pulled her to her chest where she cried her heart out. Karen's love for Danny was undeniable. He was the pillar of strength and a staunch confidant that she, herself, had failed to be, though not by choice. He had succeeded to cast out her demons and pulled her out of a torpor that she was sure to lapse into after her five-year nightmare under McFadden's yoke.
They all sat in silence, throat parched and heart thumping in fear of the outcome.
It wasn't long after that the friendly neurosurgeon made his way to the waiting room.
Karen jumped to her feet. "Doctor," she gulped nervously, "how's Danny?"
Carson fashioned a broad smile. "Come and see for yourself," he invited to follow him down the hall.
Karen took the lead, furrowing her brow in puzzlement and casting a look back at Frances who walked behind her with Steve on her arm.
Doctor Carson beckoned them to step into the room where Dr. Kailo was helping Danny with his walker.
"Danny?" Karen exulted, her body shivering with goose bumps at the sight of Danny standing on his legs. "Oh, my God! You're walking!" she inched up to him, careful not to rush over and break his stride.
"Not quite. The hinges are still a bit loose but I can feel and stand on my legs."
"Oh Danny, I was so scared," she wept convulsively. She took the hand that he held out to her and he pulled her to him; the walker being the only hindrance standing between them as their bodies melted together. "I was sure I'd made it worse for you."
"No you did good, Snookums," he said, burying his face into her neck where he sucked in a whiff of her intoxicating fragrance before he pulled back to gaze into her dewy brown eyes. "I needed a wake-up call. It shook me out of my idleness. Doc says I'll be running the marathon in no time flat." A small wobble had him gripped the walker. Dr. Kailo was swiftly by his side to offer support. "Oops! Obviously not tomorrow."
"I think that's enough for today. You should get back in that bed," Kailo advised.
"Not yet, Doc. I want to feel them a bit more. I've waited too long for this."
"Are you okay?" Karen asked, worried.
"Yeah I'm okay. I'm better than okay. I'm out of that chair, K.. Thanks to you."
"I love you so much," she whispered softly, brushing her hand against his cheek, drinking in his features.
He reached for her hand and clasped it to kiss the palm. "Not as much as I do." He cupped her face with one hand and leaned in for a tender-loving kiss, oblivious of the small audience in the room.
"Harrumph!" Frances playfully cleared her throat.
Faces flushed as the lovebirds pulled apart.
"Sorry guys," Danny said sheepishly, pursing his lips as his twinkling blue eyes shifted down to the floor in embarrassment. "Guess we got carried away."
"No need to apologize, Danny. We're happy for you both."
"Yeah bro, this is great! I wish I could see th…" Steve's euphoric grin suddenly melted into a frown.
"Steve? Steve, what's wrong?" Danny asked, concerned by the air of disconcert etched on his partner's face.
All eyes turned in his direction.
"Steve? Are you all right?" It was Frances's turn to ask.
Steve asked Danny, "There's a window behind you, isn't there?"
"That's right." Danny answered, curious as to what the question entailed.
"I can see it." Steve breathed out with a huge smile.
"What?"
"I see the light," Steve reiterated with more conviction.
Both Karen and Danny turned to Frances, bewildered.
"It started this morning," Frances informed and then addressed Doctor Carson. "That's why we wanted to see you, Doctor."
Doctor Carson stepped up to Steve standing silent, entranced by the light. He took out his penlight and shined it into his blind but expressive eyes. "Can you see the light I'm now flashing in your eyes?"
"No."
Carson then waved a hand in front of Steve's face. "Can you see my hand?"
"No, but I can see the light behind you."
Frances noticed the neurosurgeon's brows furrow with deep concern as he put his penlight back into his smock pocket.
"I'll notify Doctor Hishimura so that he may conduct a complete examination. I'll be right back."
Disturbed by the grim expression on the doctor's face, Frances decided to follow him out the door. She addressed Karen and Danny, "Guys, can you keep an eye on him? I'll be right back."
"Sure, no problem," Danny said as Karen walked up to Steve to assist him to a chair.
"Danno, I'm sorry for raining on your parade like this."
"Don't be silly, babe! Let it pour! This is fantastic!"
"Doctor Carson, wait up!" Frances hailed down the corridor as she quickened the pace after him. "Tell me, Steve IS regaining his sight, isn't he?"
She stood in dread of his answer when she detected a hint of discomfort in his eyes. "I want to wait until Doctor Hishimura has a chance to examine him."
"You don't look nor sound very optimistic."
"I'm just cautious. I've previously observed this phenomenon in visually impairment patients."
"What are you talking about?"
"Let's wait for the results, shall we?"
Everyone was basking in the afterglow of Steve's celebrated news of his sight returning, save for Frances who kept replaying the conversation she had with Doctor Carson and how he had dashed her hopes to the ground.
She labored to feel some sense of glee at the sight of her cherished SEAL happily lounging around on the lanai with Danny; the two friends just enjoying the warmth of the glowing sun on their skin. It was the most cheerful she'd seen Steve since losing his sight.
The next day, they drove to the hospital to get the test results that Frances prayed would be encouraging.
It wasn't long after they each took a seat in Doctor Carson's office that Doctor Hishimura delivered the grim news.
"You're experiencing what's called the phantom eye phenomenon. It's when the brain processes information that's not there. A parallel can be drawn to the phantom limb, when a person still feels pain to a leg that's just been amputated. In your case Commander you're not responding to the actual brilliance of the light, but merely the heat emanating from it and in turn, your brain gives you the impression that you're actually seeing the light when in reality, you're not." Steve and Frances hinged on his every word, hoping for a glimpse of good news amidst the medical lingo.
"When I did the tests on you, I shined several intensities of light into your eyes, one of which didn't bear any concentrated heat. It was merely reflective, almost indiscernible, like when Doctor Carson flashed his penlight directly into your eyes and said you didn't see anything. Oftentimes the phenomenon can occur in pitch darkness if you're standing directly in a source of heat."
"You mean to tell me I'm hallucinating?" Steve was livid, offended by the implicit insinuation. "That I'm imagining the light? The windows are there. I don't make them up."
"Not hallucinating like in the Charles Bonnet Syndrome, where blind people think they actually see objects that are not there. Your brain is only interpreting the heat as a source of light and in turn, you believe that you're seeing it."
"That's like six of one and half a dozen of the other," Steve scoffed, dismissing the comparison as ludicrous. "Do you mean to stand there and tell me I'm never gonna see again?"
Dr. Hishimura glanced his colleague's way; his hesitation speaking volume. "That's not what I said."
"Then why the hesitation?"
"At this point, we are unable to determine at which time your sight will return. It could days, weeks, months..."
"Or never, right?" Steve bluntly interjected. He paused, unable to grasp at the shocking reality so crushingly described by Dr. Hishimura.
"Would you leave us alone for a minute, please?" Frances requested of both doctors.
Both men nodded and stepped out of the office, leaving the couple in the wake of their bombshell.
"I can't go on like this, Frances," he said, shaking his head in denial.
"Of course you can."
"Easy for you to say, you're not the one who's blind!" Steve lashed out at her patronizing tone; misdirecting his anger on the one person who stood by him throughout his ordeal.
Frances risked a hand on his shoulder and as suspected, he brushed it aside with one angry swap. "DON'T... please don't." He ran a hand over his face and hauled himself out of his chair, pausing to gain total balance before he began groping the desk in front of him in search of a dull object to throw at the wall to assuage his rage. He grabbed hold of a plastic potted plant and as he poised ready to smash it against the wall, a hand came to rest on top of his.
"Don't! It'll only dent the wall and not bring your sight back." Steve closed his eyes, unwittingly conceding to her reasoning. She peeled his fingers from the object and wrapped an arm around his waist. "You've got to give yourself time. You suffered a serious concussion in the area of the brain that registers vision."
"This is the end of my military career, my work at Five-0... everything."
"Not necessarily so. Granted the Navy is off the board but Five-0 isn't."
"Do you actually see me out in the field, chasing criminals?"
"No but you can do investigative work."
"How? I can't see!"
"You'll learn Braille."
Steve snorted out a cynical laugh. "Sure, why not? I can just picture Danny, Chin and Kono writing out a report in Braille just so I can read it. Very smart," he mocked, tapping his head for emphasis.
"Let's not get ahead of ourselves. We'll deal with the matter when the time comes. Come on," she tapped his arm, "let's go home." She interpreted his heavy sigh as a sign of resignation on his part.
Danny remained at the hospital for a few hours observation, while Frances brought Steve home where he stayed aloof, cloistering himself in his room to drown in his silent chasm. He adamantly refused to see or speak to anyone, even skipping lunch and dinner.
Frances tried in vain to shake him out of his depression but he remained stoic against her ministrations. How she hated seeing him like this, but understood that he needed some breathing space in the wake of the shocking news.
That night, Danny experienced another nightmare in which a gun was fired and the next image was of his partner slowly crumbling to the ground. This time, he managed to wake up without disturbing Karen sleeping next to him.
What were they telling him? How could he prevent something that he could not make sense of to begin with?
Bright and early the next morning, Frances woke to find Steve's bed empty. She got up and put on her bath robe and slippers and headed toward the bathroom.
She knocked on the door. "Steve? Are you in there?" Receiving no answer, she opened the door and poked her head inside.
She cinched her robe tighter and climbed down the stairs, giving the living room a quick survey before heading to the kitchen where she hoped to find him enjoying his orange juice. Steve was nowhere in sight.
She called out his name repeatedly; anxiety mounting with every call unanswered.
As she went back to the living room, she gulped in a gasp as an icy clutch of dread seized her at the sight before her.
