Chapter Twenty Nine

I had the feeling that something was wrong, a not-quite defined sense that somewhere in my world something was really wrong and it made me have to work twice as hard to put forth the excitement of the holidays for my sisters' sake. Even Willow and Nikki, who so often fought and bickered with each other, almost seeming locked in an adolescent rivalry despite both of them being grown women were making a concerted effort to leave whatever their problems were at the door. It was, after all Christmas for them.

"Hey you made it!" Nikki was in full energetic swing, and surprised that the older set of twins came at all, and it showed on her face.

"It's Autumn's last Christmas as one of the kids we can't miss that." Willow said giving Nikki a stiff hug, "And as you said when you called, holidays are about family even though like always we can't have Mom and Dad."

"You have each other, and you have as always me." I said as I limped toward the couch using the cane more heavily than I had been after being nearly bowled over by Cayden just a minute before.

"Whoa, what happened to you?" Kris asked moving around Willow to actually be helpful and move a chair I was trying to push in without losing my balance.

"One, I got into a fight with the sea a few months ago and healing's been a bit of a trouble and your nephew near took my legs out not a minute ago."

"Was he running in the house again?" Nikki asked as I sat down heavily in the chair that had on it a big stuffed pillow with a smiling rosy-cheeked Santa on it in place of the normal black pillow.

"Bingo," I said smiling grimly, "But don't go after him, Nikki its a holiday and he's wired on your sugar cookies." I said with a chuckle, "I warned you not to do it."

"Well that's typical, Nikki going against a suggestion." Willow said sarcastically but immediately regretted it as I cut my eyes at her.

"I thought we agreed you two little kittens were going to sheathe the claws, I might be half-crippled thanks to that accident but I can still beat you both within an inch of your lives." I warned her.

"Besides, we have something aside our petty crap to discuss. Autumn graduates at the end of this school year." Destiny said sitting down, "We need to do something for her, she's the baby."

"And we all know that the other parents aren't going to," Kris said bitterly, "So its all on us to make it special."

"Well we could always go on a vacation trip with her," Jason suggested, "Make a big project out of it for her since you all got so separated from her because Autumn's so much younger," he pointed out at Willow's look, "And it'll give everyone a chance to put some of the differences aside."

"The baby's almost grown up on us and we missed a lot of it."

"None of us can change the past, but damn if I'm going to let the future be that way." Nikki said looking at Willow, "And that includes burying that hatchet somewhere else."

"No sniping," I interrupted as the radio played a merry holiday tune, "Either of you."

"Well let's start with getting along for tonight and then we can talk about what to do for Autumn's graduation." Kris said looking between all of us.

That sounded pretty good and I found my attention drifting as they began trying, genuinely trying to get along at least for a few hours and that was fine by me. I certainly didn't have the reserves to play peacekeeper for them, and eventually I was going to have to corner Nikki and Willow about this rivalry bull that was continuing to deteriorate their relationship but that was going to be another project for another day, preferably one when my legs weren't throbbing.

I couldn't sit still, partly because of the fact my legs were throbbing and partly because the tension in the room was so high. I had to get up and it hurt and I heard myself hiss a breath as pain coursed through every nerve in both leg muscles as the door opened and with it came a burst of cold California night air and in came the last of the six of us, and I blinked realizing really and truly that the "baby" was no baby anymore.

Autumn was easily five foot six, with a slender build not much different from what our mother did, and her hair was a rich chestnut brown that shone with reddish highlights and her darker eyes sparkled with pleasure at the season, laden down with bags of gifts, "Merry Christmas I made it! It took an act of Congress to let them do it but I did it!" she said as her eyes zeroed in on me, "Whoa, you ... what happened?" I heard the question for the second time that night.

"That's all that counts -" Nikki said as I answered Autumn, leaning heavily on the cane for another moment before moving closer.

"That's a long story, but the short version... don't get in a fight with the Sea... the Sea wins." I said as I moved closer to her and yelped at her hug, grinding my teeth as I worked at keeping from dropping her as she squealed in surprise.

"Ow ow ow!" I heard her protest putting her hands on my shoulders, looking into my eyes with her own.

"Oh god I'm sorry I totally-" she began apologizing as I shook my head.

"Never, ever apologize to me for that. Some hurt is well worth the sting," I said interrupting her, "Go, sit with them I need to catch a breather, little one I will be back in after a little while."

"Don't run away, please I just got here." Autumn protested as I put my hand on the doorknob causing me to smile over my shoulder wryly.

"Little girl I won't be running anywhere for a long time yet. Go, get a bite to eat Nikki loves to cook and she does it well."

"You'd know." Autumn's laugh made me smile, despite the distinct feel that something was truly wrong in my guts, but I couldn't place it.

"I'll be back in after a few minutes, I just need to get some air." I said reassuring her a last time as I exited the house closing the door behind me.

I drew in a deep breath of the cool air outside the house and shivered as a bright star twinkled overhead and I leaned on the railing letting myself indulge in looking up at it for a moment feeling a knife twist again on my insides, my fingers reaching for the dueling necklaces I wore and found the one that was such a mystery to me and my fingers closed around it allowing myself on a night I knew to be special across many worlds, many cultures and many places, to whisper a soft prayer to the dark night-sky.

"Whoever you are, that gave this beautiful thing to me, I hope you are well this Winter's Solstice and ... I wish someday to see you again." I had tears stinging my eyes as I got to my feet knowing on some level that the prayer was selfish but I had earned somewhere a bit of selfishness - hadn't I?

They had gotten him to eat, and wordlessly the identical twosome agreed that it was a start, not the one they necessarily wanted, but it was a good start to him clawing out of the hole his emotions had dug for him. Next would be sleep, Elladan decided casting a furtive look at his father and knew that willing or not Elrond would drop to exhausted sleep before long anyway, and he aimed to push him toward the warm bed.

"Why don't you go lay down for a few hours, I am sure that it will be more comfortable for you than this couch." he suggested carefully, knowing that Elrond was minutes from dropping over in sheer exhaustion.

Elrond nodded wearily and rose to his feet and moved slowly toward the bed where he crawled, fully dressed but for his shoes into the blankets and dropped heavy as a stone in water to sleep which would not bring the peaceful dreams his sons hoped for.

The two took shifts, one sitting by the bedside in the chair reading or meditating while the other slept as they did in the wild, though in this case the only wild animal they were risking being seen by was their father in his current state...

Dreams were both welcome and unwelcome - welcome for the respite of facing another morning without the whip-sharp sting of the woman's humor or the quiet stolen hour first thing before the city awoke to share a mug of tea alongside the coffee she craved almost compulsively, face another meal in which he wouldn't marvel at the sheer amount she was eating, and more, just getting to be around the strange woman that had become something of a fascination.

Sleeping also meant to see a replay of the happy memories, and the more difficult memories - the look of horrified surprise when he'd let the boat float away into the current, when she likely would have stayed, and the sheer surprised pleasure of the pendant he hoped on some level she still possessed but did not know for certain. On this midwinter's night he slept deeply enough thankfully to not dream, not of the fiery hued hair and the way the woman moved but in the thankfully deep silence of the despairing but for a voice hauntingly familiar if silenced in his world outside of his own mind,

"Whoever you are, that gave this beautiful thing to me, I hope you are well this Winter's Solstice and ... I wish someday to see you again."