Penny's POV
I do my best to stay strong, look like I'm not fearful of how they are going to react to that little piece of news but it's hard. I'm cringing inside, preparing myself for yet another yelling fest, or terrified eyes, disbelief and not quite knowing what to do with me. Not trusting me. It's been that way with all the rebels that know of my…family tree. Not like I ever asked for it.
Just because I share blood with the bastard doesn't mean that I like it. It doesn't make me inherently evil or bad. I'm not sure about him for certain, but I wasn't born into being a horrible heartless person. Though I'd guess my dear father had something to do with that.
My dead father.
He used to be like any other Capitolite, wanting more, more, more. Somehow my father got lucky enough to get in to a party at the President's Mansion when he was in his late teens, one of the sponsor parties for a Victor. His parents had gone to a fortune teller that was at a party and told them to vote for the very first person that smiled at them in the tribute parade and they would be the Victor. Even when my father was telling me this story I found it ridiculous because everyone knows that fortune tellers aren't right most of the time, they're simply for entertainment. But my grandparents gave it a shot, and it happened to be a tribute from District 5, a sniveling skinny boy who no one thought had a shot. Turns out he did and incredulously won.
So my father got the invitation to go to the sponsor party with his parents and that's where he met my mother. White hair in ringlets (because all Snows are required to no matter what their age) much like my own natural curls (also white), a blue ballgown and a red rose tucked behind her ear. She wasn't seen too often to keep her safe, but she was there that night. My father talked to her and they fell in love, marrying a few years later.
I'd guess the reason my grandfather trusted him was because he actually wasn't a rebel at the time, just some boy lucky enough to win over his daughter's heart. And even when I came a few years later they were still that way. Until my father began to realize the cruelty of Snow. He was just walking through the mansion when I was five years old and had walked past Snow's office door, overhearing a conversation that he shouldn't of. Realizing with horror how Victors are really treated, how the districts are in despair and anger. So unbelieving, he went around looking for answers and found them. And became angry.
Ever since he has helped the rebels, bringing them information that could be helpful and giving all he can for the cause of ending this madness. But he couldn't possibly give up his own position as my mother's husband (no matter how much her health was fading that even the Capitol Doctors couldn't figure it out), nor could he let Snow catch on. But he taught me. He raised me more than my mother and subtly left me becoming a rebel on my own. I could see the horror he could no matter what I learned in school. I observed all the Victors at their parties, their interviews, their ways. Finding that my father was right; the Games damaged you, they didn't help at all. The winners never really won. And why would the Games keep going on? Why would my grandfather force all those things onto people and threaten them if the didn't?
Because he's not a good person I realized at the tender age of eleven, seven years ago. And so I started carefully watching him, looking desperately like the child I was for any indication that he was a good person. And I found none. Nothing. Nothing real anyway. And so I began going to meetings with the rebels with my father, knowing that was who I wanted to be. Helping with what I could, telling them what I learned in school and then finding out the truths.
It worked well until about the 83rd Hunger Games anyway. I didn't know it at the time, but it was my father's idea to have no Victor to trigger the rebellion. He knew after all these years that my grandfather would certainly change the rules in the next Games to have a great show of his own power (whatever that may be) and the rebels could use that to start the rebellion. And it did; but my father was not supposed to have gotten caught. He got caught with a file from my grandfather's office on his way to a meeting with rebels about a week after the 84th Hunger Games ended not because there was a Victor but because of a breakout. He was caught because he was followed.
My grandfather was enraged but only showed it through his beady snake eyes, ending my father's life without a word to my mother and I. He didn't even hide from us the real reason why. Looking back, I think it was to see if we knew. To see if we knew and had been hiding this information from him the whole time, perhaps even helping him ourselves. My mother was a mess, not believing it and grieving the loss of my father. And though I was grieving too, I was angry. He didn't deserve this, it was just another indication that the man in front of me, my own kin and blood was evil.
I thought that I had hidden the anger. That I was a good enough actor to be just like my mother, unbelieving that my father would be that person. Apparently I didn't because not two days later I was arrested by my own grandfather and thrown in prison. He knew and I couldn't hide my distaste for him any longer so I didn't. What did it matter anyway anymore?
A lot actually, but I didn't realize that until recently. He tried to make them change me, make me someone else. The girl he always wanted me to be; a loyal granddaughter that would go with whatever he chose her fate to be, whether it be to take over once he eventually died or to be a charming symbol for all of Panem. To keep me under control. But then my great aunt all the way in District 13 sent a rescue team, took me out of that horror.
But she changed me too. At first I thought she was trying to help me, knowing that my white hair at the age of eighteen was a blatantly obvious sign that I was a Snow. She helped me dye it red, a nice normal color for once. You know, I don't actually know what my true hair color is? It's been dyed white every two weeks for as long as I can remember. But she helped me look almost…normal. I thought she was different at first that she hated him as much as I did. But it turns out she's just as bad. Changing my mind into someone I don't know. No…two someones actually. Once the nice normal girl image did its job (whatever that was for, I'm still not entirely sure why), she made me a normal Capitolite teenager by the looks of my pink hair and nails. Catching me every time I come back to myself I think before anyone can catch on that I'm not who they think I am.
But what she doesn't realize is that it's happening far more than it should now. Maybe my acting has gotten better; maybe I'm just becoming more immune to whatever it is that she injects me with. I don't know but I'm remembering more and more as time goes on and I plan to go against her to. She's no help at all.
But these two people in front of me, they can help. They have every reason to after all, and I know something dark is happening. I don't know exact plans, but my aunt and my grandfather are working together. Or at least on the surface they are. I don't know what my grandfather's actual plans are, but I do know Alma's. And that can only help them to know the truth.
You know, if they actual find it in themselves to trust me.
"What?" the woman, Katniss eventually breaks the silence with. It's actually not as angry as I assumed it would be. The man, Gale, just studies me further, arms crossed and has a distinct thinking look about him. I wonder what he makes of this information.
"Believe me I hate him as much as you do. Maybe even more." I answer, the truth of it hopefully shining in my every desperate attempt to get them to understand that's not who I am, not who I ever wanted to be.
"I doubt that." Gale mutters to himself, and I can see why he would think that. He probably thinks that after everything that was done to him no one could hate Snow more than them. But I can.
"Are you sure?" I question him, but continue before he could even possibly reply. It feels like I have to spit out all my anger and hatred. "My whole life I've watched him manipulate, murder even. People I know, people that are innocent that know too much. Victors like yourselves that have their lives torn apart in his office that I try to help but I have to be so careful as to not be caught. He killed my father, breaking his own daughter's heart and well-being just because he knew what was right. He threw me in prison for going against him!"
"I'm not doubting you hate him." Gale eventually stops me, and honestly that surprises me though I don't know why. My tone and words made it pretty obvious I'd guess.
"But you don't trust me." I reply brutally honest, because it's true.
"It's not you that we don't trust." Katniss eventually says quietly. "It's because your identity changes so much that I don't know how we could." The way she says it tells me that she already knows talking to me here is a risk, but I know that too.
"I get that. But I've been myself more and more lately." I reply, trying to make them understand. "Alma is not a good person. She's working with my grandfather but I have no doubts that they both have ulterior motives for that."
"We know that." Gale nods. I don't know why that surprises me.
"And since my acting skills have obviously improved, I've been able to figure out what her's is." I reveal, and their eyes shoot up. Curiosity and the desperate need to know is clear in both of them and I decide to give it to them. "She's going with his plan just to backfire on it. To take over herself once whatever it is happens."
"Do you know any more specifics than that?" Katniss questions me and I shrug.
"Just bits and pieces. Basically their plan is to marry you off to some girl named Leta to turn the country against you," I reveal, pointing to Gale. He seems generally surprised by that, but also angry. I can see why; I'd be pissed too and I'm sure Katniss is as well.
"Well that's not going to happen. No way in hell." Gale protests, the anger almost spilling out of him. Katniss goes over to him and pulls him into a tight embrace, trying to sooth him but she looks pretty angry too.
Well they're going to be even more pissed when I tell them how exactly they plan to pull that off. "I think that's why he wants your daughter. A blackmail of sorts I'd guess." I reveal, knowing that it's definitely not something I would put past him. I don't tell them now, but I have a feeling he plans on using her for far more than just blackmail but I can't be sure. I can just feel it.
They glance at each other and nod about something, though I have no idea what. They don't really reveal it to me either but they strangely enough don't look as surprised by that as I thought they would. Just more…understanding. "I think Alma plans to somehow fake get her to him, like pretend she was kidnapped but really she just sent her to him."
"But you said that she plans to backfire on Snow. That she'll take over and everything will be alright, right?" Katniss argues and I sigh and shake my head.
"While that's true, I can honestly tell you that my aunt being in charge won't be any better than my grandfather. Maybe even worse." I answer.
"How could it be worse?" Gale mutters and my face twists into a grimace.
"She's…got more plans for arenas. She doesn't plan to end the Hunger Games, she wants to continue them. And the rules I found…well let's just say it makes my grandfather's Hunger Games look like child's play."
"Like what?" Gale questions me, but I can tell by his dark demeanor and tone that he knows it can't be good.
I take a deep breath and close my eyes, trying to remember. It was right before she turned me back into my other identity whatever that is so it's a little blurry, but I can vaguely remember. "Something about…more tributes including the Capitol and District 13. Like four I think from each. And it can be any age, not just 12-18. Victors are required to live in the Capitol to either be Gamemakers or mentors all year round. And something about…yes, something about the military." I try to recall. The way they look at me is a mix of horror and desperately trying not to believe me even though I can tell they do. But I know I've not given them enough. I know I know more, I just can't remember it. "Yeah, it's bad."
"It's like an entire mix of Quarter Quells in one." Katniss whispers under her breath almost in horror. Well it's nice to know that at least they're trying to trust me. Hopefully they really are getting over the whole Snow's granddaughter thing. I honestly wish for the umpteenth time that I was born into another family. Anything at all would be better, I'm convinced.
"Well I hate to break this up, but they're going to notice that we're all gone soon enough." I eventually say with a grimace. I know that means Alma turning me back into whoever she has me pretending to be, but it could be worse if she realizes that I was here again. With them of all people. They nod with frowns and find the square key thing, but before they go I have to know. It's the only piece I can't seem to figure out.
"Who's this Leta girl that they keep talking about?" I ask them. If they're trying to get Gale to marry the girl it would make sense that I would have at least met her before if she's here in District 13. They exchange a look that looks like a part grimace, part almost…amusement?
"You." Katniss finally answers me. "Well, the you before this one." She nods to my looks. At first I'm shocked by this but then I almost snort and roll my eyes. Of course.
"Why am I not surprised." I mutter before walking through the vibrating wall into the real District 13. He would do that to me. In fact, I bet it was Snow's plan all along. Get the people I'm trying to help to despise me all the while punishing me because I can never be myself.
I vaguely wonder if he planned to use me like that all along. I really wouldn't put it past him. The question is, what is Alma going to do with it?
It kind of scares me that I already know the answer to that. If her plan is to make Snow's plan backfire, then that means the people will still hate me. And if they hate the girl that Gale's supposedly marrying, she won't hesitate to rid Panem of her. People will cheer for the bitch that tried to take Gale away from his family and they won't cry over her death.
There's really no way for me to win, is there?
Snow's POV
"Bring her in." I nod towards the peacekeepers with a sigh. If only things would simply go as planned for once. No matter, this is the reason why I'm always planning three steps ahead. I don't have to ever start from square one.
"Ah, the rebel medic is it?" I greet the young woman in a tattered blue coat. While we lost all the districts once again to the rebels far faster than I expected, some peacekeepers did happen to capture this young woman who had been spotted aiding a certain young man and his wife with them. The wife that should still not be remembered by him at all.
"I still don't see what you want from me." she replies, her honestly clear. No, she wouldn't know, now would she?
"I simply would like to know every detail of your treatment with a Mr. Hawthorne. I assure you that you aren't in any trouble." I insist with a warm smile. She appears baffled still, but huffs and eventually answers.
"It's like I told them over and over. He had a head wound and I helped Katniss bring him into a building as I treated him. Once he woke I checked over him briefly again and left." She answers, but it's not enough.
"How was he acting? How did they interact when he woke up?" I question her and she appears to be confused but just shrugs.
"Like all couples do. Relieved and all that. Even kissed I think as I left." She informs me.
Really, is that so? Well this is not what it was supposed to be, that's for certain. It appears that he somehow remembers her once more, most likely a reverse effect with the concussions.
No matter, I can handle it. The plans haven't changed, they simply have to be readjusted. In fact, it may be better this way. Perhaps I can even punish two little rebel birds with one stone all the while being themselves, the punishment greater by it. One sham of a marriage can break them all, I'm certain of it.
It's not over until it's over.
