Helloooooo lovelies. I'm back. (:
Enjoy!
When I awoke that morning I was stiff and my arm was numb. As I blinked a few times because of the rare light of sun, I noticed a ceiling fan that wasn't mine above me. And the ceiling was yellow.
Only one person would paint it that color.
As I tried to sit up my arm began to tingle as hair trickled down it with the beautiful body that was slumbering softly beside me. She was in my shirt, her hair a complete mess, but – yet – she was so beautiful. Her skin glowed against the sunlight, her soft snores playing with my eardrums.
I had never woken up to something so beautiful before this. And I wanted it for the rest of my life.
Once I got my arm free, I ran a hand through my hair, reliving every moment from hours before. Could it really have happened the way it did? Or was I just dreaming and somehow slept-walked my way over here unconsciously? Or was I still dreaming and when I wake up it'll be all over?
Jesus, what a mess… A beautiful mess…
With a sigh, I decided to get up. I grabbed my jeans and shoes from off the floor before putting them back on. I knew that she had some of my shirts still hidden somewhere, and I walked out into the living room where my nightmare was real.
The boxes were still there, packed up and ready to leave with her. I don't think I've ever gotten this upset seeing boxes before, not even when Emmett was leaving. Tears filled my eyes up in an instant. My chest felt like it was about to cave in on itself because I had no fucking idea on what to do. I couldn't possibly make her stay, she has nothing left here. She gave up every single thing for me, and what have I done to repay her?
Absolutely nothing.
Fuck… Cullen, what are you doing? You're so far gone in her book she'll probably kick you out when she sees you.
Yeah, not a pretty thought, that one.
Taking in deep breaths, I got myself in check. And, soon after, her soft footfalls sounded throughout the hallway. When I looked over to her she had one hand rubbing the sleep from her eye while the other tugged at the hem of my shirt. I couldn't stop the soft smile that appeared on my face. She was just perfection.
She yawned, holding a hand to cover her mouth in embarrassment.
"Mornin'," I greeted softly with a wave.
She smiled, her cheeks turning that lovely shade of pink. "Hi…"
A silence fell over us as we both stood where we were, gazing at each other and the unspoken truth about the boxes around us.
"You don't have to go…" she whispered. Her head hung low, avoiding me at all costs. "I mean, if you want to, then I understand… I just-"
"Bella."
She looked up, startled.
I chuckled and shrugged. "I'm not leaving. There's no way in hell that I could."
Her two front teeth bit down on her lip as she tried to contain the smile that appeared. One hand was in her hair, holding it away from her beautiful face.
I couldn't stay still. I had to be next to her, holding her.
So, I moved, wrapping my arms tightly around her small waist.
"You're so adorable, you know that?" I whispered to her, right into her ear. I grabbed her earlobe with my teeth, her legs quivering. I held onto her tighter.
"Edward…" she breathed out.
My lips brushed against the spot behind her ear that always made her gasp, getting the same reaction as normal. I kissed and bit at the skin of her neck, leaving light marks. Her fingers dug into my bare shoulders, making me hiss as her nails scrapped against the fresh tattoo. I growled lowly as her grip tightened as I pushed her back into the wall, locking her in place. I pulled on her hips and she jumped up. I wrapped her soft legs around my waist, her thighs squeezing me tightly.
"Fuck it to hell, baby," I groaned out as I kept my lips on her neck. Her hands were pulling on my hair, always pulling. "We should stop, but I can't. Make me stop, Bella. Tell me we have to talk things out. Make me stop."
She pulled my hair until I met her eyes with mine, and she shook her head at me, her eyes dark. Her cheeks, neck, and the slight skin that was visible of her chest was flushed. She was absolutely sin.
"No," she said with determination. "Fuck talking. Just feel."
I didn't have to be told twice.
Through our actions – the kisses and the words we whispered as we continued – mattered. It didn't matter if we sat our asses down and talked shit out. We didn't have to. Everything that needed to be said was said last night and this morning as we continued it. We didn't need stupid words to ruin things, we never were like that. We always felt.
And that's how things went from good to bad for us. We never felt after a fight, we just talked. It threw us off balance with each other, and we lost that sense of a connection we had. And, by God, I'll never let that go away again. I can't.
From here on out I promised myself to always feel with Bella. It's the most 'real' thing we have.
Just like she said; fuck talking. Just feel.
x-x-x-x-x
"You're sure?" Mike asked for the hundredth time. "This is for sure what you want to do. Opportunities like this don't come around twice, Edward."
I looked him straight in the eye with a huge smile on my face. "I'm sure. I can't give up her, Mike. Not for music, not for anything. She's my life now."
He sighed while shaking his head. I knew he only meant well, but I've told him a thousand times since I've shown up at his office. I wasn't going to go through with the tour. I had signed up for one show, and that was it. One show and I promised myself to be there for Bella.
I promised to start our life together.
"I can't believe this, Cullen," Mike muttered as he chuckled humorlessly. "After all the hard work we've put into getting here… She really must be something."
I shrugged, the smile still on my face. I was anxious to get out of here and start my life, and that feeling always kept a smile on my face.
"She is," I replied is a nod. "God, she is."
Mike laughed before holding out his hand. "It's been real, man. Thanks for the ride."
I grasped his hand with mine tightly, pulling him closer. It wasn't one of those sappy hugs, but it was good enough. I knew that I had Mike on my side no matter if I did just cost him a lot of opportunities. We've been friends since we met at college, and we'll always be friends.
And, as I walked out of the office building, I had only one thought on my mind.
My life was just waiting at the starting line to begin. And it finally could.
Tonight.
I know, I know. I promised the song in this one, but I wanted to wait. You'll see why. And I know it's short! Hush! ;)
Now, please excuse my absence. School and work are crazy right now, and I'm so overwhelmed. But I promise to get back into the swing of things and pop out new chapters. Okay? Okay. Hit me, people! I've missed you! Give me those thoughts!
