A/N: And another chapter and NOW it's almost over! Though there's still no happiness. Anyway, I'll upload the final chapter tomorrow (if I don't forget about it) and after that the story will be FINISHED. :). Okay, whatever, enjoy and please review!

C28

CARLOS POV

I was glad James gave me his pep talk. That definitely made me feel better. I didn't want to pretend to sleep anymore, I just wanted to see my friends. But every time I looked at them I got that guilty feeling. Like everything was my fault and that I was totally useless.

And there was only one person I could blame for it: my father.

The day we all arrived home – or how I called it: Kendall's home, though Mrs. Knight and Kendall immediately protested and said that it was my home too now – Mrs. Knight got a call. I don't know who it was but the message was clear: my father wanted to talk to me. He was in jail, yeah, but they agreed that he could talk to me for about a quarter.

So there we were, in jail (though not literally). Everyone came along, even Katie did, to support me. It really felt good, though the vision of me talking to my dad made me feel nervous as hell, it sure did.

'Everything will be okay, Carlos,' Kendall wrapped his arm around my shoulders. 'Really, he can't hurt you now he's in jail, can he?'

Sure he could. And he definitely would, I felt it. Not physically, I mean mentally.

The officers told us I could bring someone with me if I didn't want to be alone, and I shook my head when they asked me if I wanted to go alone. Kendall, Logan and James immediately started fighting about who could come with me, until Katie yelled they should be silent and that Mrs. Knight would come with me, so they should stop fighting.

They wouldn't be the same if they didn't start protesting. And of course they did, until Mrs. Knight interrupted and said that she would go with me because she was the only adult. Of course, that remark brought up a lot of protest too, but she wouldn't listen to it, so she would go with me. All that time I was just looking out of the window, leaning on my arms. My father wouldn't be scared if someone would come with me. I could always say that I didn't want to see him, but that would be running away from my problems. I never wanted to run away anymore.


'You have a quarter,' A policemen let me and Mrs. Knight in. I didn't have a quarter, my dad had a quarter. We sat down and I looked into my father's eyes. He looked insane. Really. There was no way he could be drunk and stuff, because he was in jail after all, but there was pure anger in his eyes. Of course, I could've known. Who wouldn't be mad if his own son was the reason he was in jail? Yeah, that makes sense.

Mrs. Knight squeezed my shoulder gently as my father started to talk. We were separated by glass, so I wasn't afraid he would hurt me physically. I was afraid he'd hurt me mentally. To be honest, though it might be a little selfish to say, I thought I had faced enough mental – let alone physical – problems the last few months. This, I decided, would be the last chapter of the first book of my life.

'Son,' He said. He narrowed his eyes, but the police officers, who were outside couldn't see it. Though they were looking at us, to make sure nothing would happen. They couldn't hear us either, to give us privacy. I didn't respond him with "father". Because even though he was, I couldn't believe that the man I was looking at was indeed my father.

'You…' he sighed. 'Why did you do this to me, shortie?'

'Don't call me –' I started off but he interrupted me.

'I call you anything I want, don't you dare to tell me what I can or cannot do!' He hissed. I looked in his eyes, still narrowed. He just made a big mistake calling me shortie. The nickname itself wasn't really the problem, the way he said it was the problem. I didn't respond, which encouraged him to continue.

'This is all your fault and you can't –' Big mistake part two. I interrupted him.

'This is my fault? Do you even realize what I have been going through?' I blurted. I felt my heart break. Really. He was breaking my heart. He sounded so bitter, when he was talking to me. The reason of him abusing me suddenly changed. What if he just hated me? What if it wasn't because of the alcohol?

'Realize,' he smirked. 'Do I… You are the reason of everything. The reason… she left.'

I felt my heart skip a beat and I stopped breathing for a few seconds. So he wanted it that way? Talking about my mom? I had never even heard him saying her name. She. Now she was just a she. I didn't respond to him, because somewhere I didn't know how to respond. I never knew the reason my mom left. Was it indeed because of me? Was the pain I had been going through my own fault?

'Yeah, yeah that was your fault,' my dad started, I encouraged him again. I felt Mrs. Knight's grip tightening but she didn't say something. She was the only person who would understand me. I needed to handle this alone. No help. That would never be satisfying. 'And you think that it was my fault? It's your own fault, son. You made her leave, now you have to deal with the consequences.'

'Shut up,' I whispered.

'What did you say?' He smirked again. 'Shut up? No, boy, it's my turn to speak now. You spoke. You already did. To the police. Now it's my turn, don't tell me when I have to shut up.'

I didn't respond. My heart was slowly breaking in pieces. 'You're not even sorry?' I realized how much I sounded like a kid that way. Like I was six years old again instead of almost seventeen, but I couldn't care less about it.

'Sorry?' He grimaced. 'Sorry because you put me in jail? One-and-a-half year?' I felt tears burning, but I would not give him the satisfying thought of making me cry. Not now, not here.

'I just wanted it to stop,' I heard my voice crack. But I was not going to cry. Hold back your tears, Carlos. Man yourself up. Now.

My father opened his mouth to say something and his eyes narrowed. Before he could make a sound the police officer opened the door, telling us that our time was over. I hurried out of the room, followed by Mrs. Knight, and as soon as I was out of his sight the tears started flowing.