EMBRY
At first when Jake had yelled for me I'd been understandable annoyed. Finally I'd managed to say everything to Becky I've been trying to for the last couple of days and things were slowly starting to mend between us. Then I saw the expression on my Alpha's face, the nervousness, the almost concealed excitement and my wolf easily detecting the edgy agitation of the other canine. It was clear to me quickly that something big had happened. I could have stood and guessed to myself what it might be, but Jake seemed to want to talk and simply finding out the answer to my questions would be far easier.
I followed my Alpha to the roof, already hearing the low tones of the women talking as we marched through the door into the cool air above. I shut the door behind Jake to see him turning and giving me a sharp look. Jake didn't seem to want to sit and instead starting pacing the length of the sitting area staring out into the city his nostrils flaring and I'm certain picking up all manner of scents.
"So are you going to tell me what happened or should I start guessing?" I attempted to keep my tone light hoping to break the heavy air Jake appeared to be carrying with him. My Alpha growled at my attempt at humor and I felt my wolf instead shrink from the challenge. I felt myself sigh as I crossed and flopped down into one of the lawn chairs not wanting to start some sort of pissing match at this venture. "You're tense Jake I can tell is everything alright?"
"You like to come up with theories about stuff right Em?" Jake finally grew still, he continued standing just staring at me. I felt my brow raise thinking this was not how I expected this topic to be breeched.
"Yes I guess I do, not much else to do in La Push sometimes?" I tried to read the expression currently on my Alpha's face but I couldn't quite place its meaning.
"Have you ever thought about if we are not the only werewolves in the world? I mean even before we came here and starting looking for the shape shifter that's in the city?" Talking now his nerves seemed to steady, Jake also crossed and flopped down into the chair opposite of mine.
"I always thought it was pretty safe to assume we couldn't be the only werewolves ever, anywhere. The myth is too big and covers too many different cultures for more of us not to exist; but come on Jake you're not one for cryptic bullshit. Just say what you want to say to me." I leaned forward bracing my arms against my knees wondering just what my Alpha had found out.
"The weirdest thing happened to me when I got to Robert's house and knowing our lives that's saying something right?" The ghost of a smile graced Jake's lips and I got the impression for the first time the news he had to share wasn't bad.
"Definitely," I returned his question with a grin of my own. My brain firing on all engines ready to hear and analyze anything Jake was about to say.
"Em it was fucking amazing. We walked in the door and Robert's grandmother knew just what I was fucking was, pretty much by just looking at me." Jake's expression was shocked, which swiftly switched to return to a grin. I felt my own mouth drop open as I tried to process how to reply.
"How did she know that?" Possibilities whirled in my mind. Jake took a deep breath and proceeded to relate an entire tale about Robert's grandmother's youth. I could feel my eyes growing wider as Jake explained what he had learned about this other wolf pack and the fact there was even more packs out there then just this one. I felt validated in a way to find out that my ideas had been correct and even more curious to get more information.
"So do you think these other wolves still exist?" It made me inquisitive and hopeful in a way, legitimizing even more that our powers were not evil in my mind.
"Well I think the guy we're chasing in the city right now is some kind of proof. He had to come from somewhere, and now I'm no where near as smart about all of this as you or Lea are Em, but I'm going to guess that he either left the group or maybe got kicked out because he's not a nice wolf. I'm hoping that means that if there is another pack maybe they are more in line with how we are?" Satisfaction spread across Jake's face at getting to share all of his ideas with me. I nodded finding his reasoning sound and agreeing whole heartily with it.
"That sounds pretty logical to me Jake." I just sat for a moment allowing myself to feel a little stunned, letting it really sink in that we did in fact have proof now that entire packs of other shape shifters existed and just what a genuine relief it was to find out they were all not evil. "Have you told anyone back home yet?" I imagined the rest of our group was going to be pretty rocked by this news, along with a large majority of our tribe elders.
"Not yet, I wanted to talk to you first, make certain my ideas sounded good and see if you had anything of your own to add." Now my Alpha looked at me curiously and perhaps even a little expectantly, waiting to see how I replied to his inquiry.
"Well I doubt we will have much luck getting information out of this shape shifter we're chasing when we find him. From his attacks and his murder ratio he doesn't seem very mentally sound to me, but I do think we should try to garner any clues from him that we can about his origin and I do think once we do go home and things settle back down again. That a few of us, maybe myself, Seth and Ian should start looking into seeing if we can find out any more about these other packs. Even if it's just local folk lore of different regions something somewhere must have been recorded." I leaned back in the seat again, a thoughtful expression on my face. I felt a jolt of excitement about the possibilities currently being laid out to us. Reflecting on all the sudden changes it also brought another topic to my mind that had been weighting on me.
"Also Jake, have you talked to anyone else in the pack about Becky and me yet?" Jake and I really hadn't had a straight forward conversation about what was happening between Becky and I in the last couple of days, but I'd gotten a clear impression he and Lea had been talking about it and that Lea was concerned for her friend. I watched my Alpha sigh.
"Not yet, but I plan to. Lea's been pretty upset about the fact she can't tell Becky everything about us. I'm trying to be understanding about were she's coming from because I remember how much it hurt me not to tell her, but I don't want any of us in danger because I make a shitty call for the wrong reasons." Stress was clear in Jake's tone and for the first time I got a real hint at the new weight he carried on his shoulders. Jake has always been a rather emotional guy so to see him working really hard at tempering that was actually pretty impressive.
"Do you honestly think Becky would betray us?" I almost hated to ask the question, especially when I saw the guilt that flashed through my Alpha's eyes before his jaw set and he looked away from me. Jake sighed hard, lowering his head for a moment to run his hands through his hair before looking up.
"Look Em, I would have to be a blind asshole to not see how much Becky is starting to mean to you and I know she's practically like Lea's family. I don't want to be a shit head, but I also don't want to be stupid. I already told Lea I would talk to Leah about this and probably my Dad and if it's general consensus that Becky can be trusted I'll make that call. I hate to admit it but I kind of get what Sam was attempting to explain to me before I took on the Alpha role. It's different once you know you have so many other lives depending on you. You look at everything a lot more seriously then you used to."
While I hated having to continue to hid things from Becky I could understand where Jake was coming from. His expression was so solemn and so much older then I ever remember it being. He was the Alpha now maybe more so then he has ever been up to this point. He has an air of command and control that was nothing short of impressive. I knew that I just had to be patience because I really felt like Becky and I were meant to be together and that eventually things would work out. As the Beta I had to be strong and respect the rules.
"I get it Jake, I don't like it but I really do get what you are doing. I just worry about Becky, because I can tell she's hurt and that she's pretty pissed off at you right now." I sighed, that had been one reaction I honestly hadn't expected, but I think it was becoming so obvious that Jake was in charge that Becky couldn't help but respond to it.
"I'm used to people, especially women being mad at me." Jake's grin caused me to roll my eyes. "I can take it as long as I feel like I'm doing the right thing." I wanted to expand on this topic, it seemed like a good time to bring up a few finer points of pack politics that I'd been wanting to discuss except the pounding sound of feet running up the stairs to the roof drew both my attention and Jake's. We both knew it was Lea from her stride and I could see my Alpha's eyes narrow as his mate shoved the door open to peer out and across at both of us.
"You alright?" Jake's tone was concerned when he asked. Lea looked flustered and I could scent the confusion and frustration rolling off of her in waves. She stepped outside, sliding the door shut behind her, looking suddenly at a loss for just what she wanted to say. Lea glanced down at the ground for a moment before her eyes rose and locked on mine. Her gaze studying me and I felt my blood run cold because I just knew that somehow she had discovered I was hiding something.
I pleaded with her with my eyes, to just walk away, but that simply made her jaw set. She knew I'd been lying to her and Jake and I could tell that didn't sit well with her at all. "I just got off the phone with Chris." Her stare at me was pointed and silently I cursed myself for leaving that lose end, so obviously there.
"What's wrong was there a break in the case." Out of the corner of my eyes I could see Jake tense, his expression grim trying to understand the emotions his girlfriend was projecting. I sighed deeply, shaking my head with my own aggravation and shame.
"It was about me." Everything was about to come out and I knew it and much like a man who loses his grip on a cliff and can't stop his fall, I knew there was nothing I could do.
"What the fuck do you mean?" Jake's tone was now hesitant, concerned. Lea was studying me with a critical eye, trying to determine what I was going to say next.
"Chris told me you were at the station this morning?" Lea quietly crossed to stand next to Jake and I realized she could already read his tension and was defusing it by running her finger tips along the back of his neck. I knew she was trying to silently help me how she could, but at the same token she was expecting nothing but the truth from me now.
"I went to see Harry Kim." Guilt was pouring out of me, a light sweat breaking across my body as fear at what I had to confess struck me. Jake's mouth drew down into a line as I could see him trying to understand what I was saying.
"Why would you need to go see some fucking lab tech guy? Were you trying to work on something with the shape shifter?" I had a choice to make with Jake's last question. I could either make up a lie now about why I'd been there, supplement something with the case we were working on and hope they both would believe me. Hell after everything he had already done Kim would probably even back it up. Yet I wanted to tell the truth, I knew it was going to be hard but I was sick of lying, I was sick of feeling bad about myself and I knew to truly be the Beta I couldn't betray the trust of my pack like I had been.
"I needed to run a personal test." My voice was subdued, scared. I wasn't certain how Jake was going to take the news of what I'd done and I had the feeling it was not going to be good. Jake's expression was blank, confused like he couldn't put together what I was trying to tell him. I glanced up at Lea and her face was pale and I watched her grasp part of Jake's t-shirt tightly and I think she was starting to see and I think she knew her boyfriend was going to be very unhappy.
"You know how your toothbrush disappeared a few days ago?" I figured I might as well spell everything out for him. If this was all coming out into the open anyway I didn't want anything left that I had to hide.
"Yeah Becky threw it out right?" Jake's tone had become lethal, he knew a big reveal was coming and he knew he was not going to like it.
"No Becky was covering for me, but please don't blame her she was just doing it because she knew how much what I was hiding from you meant to me." Silence still from my friend across from me, his expression dark and foreboding. I could see every muscle in his frame had tensed and inside my wolf was shirking away from the intensity of his Alpha baring down on him. Lea's face fell with a look akin to pity for me and I think she finally really understood.
"Why would she need to cover for you Embry?" Jake's voice was too precise and controlled when he finally asked the question. I would rather a passionate outburst from him then the knowledge that instead his fury was slowly building.
"I took your toothbrush Jake and I gave it to Kim." I just couldn't bring myself to actually say the words. To lay out for my friend that I had went behind his back about something so important. Lea wrapped her arms awkwardly around Jake's massive shoulders, I could see trying to comfort him and for the first time in their relationship I witnessed my friend shrug his girlfriend off and my throat went dry because I could almost feel that storm that was about to break.
'Why in the fuck would this Kim guy need my fucking toothbrush?" Rage starting to seep out of Jake's tone, he leaned forward his posture threatening. I sighed deeply knowing that I couldn't put off my confession any longer now.
"I wanted to get a paternity test run." I closed my eyes for a moment, waiting for the explosion, barely able to breath and was shocked when nothing happened. Slowly I peeked, sacred to see what Jake was actually doing, but more terrified of the silence. It revealed to me my friend sitting with a completely shocked expression on his face. Lea's eyes were filled with sympathy for me, for the man she loved and for the fact I think she clearly knew this was going to be a barrier between us.
"So you thought my dad cheated on my mom and I'm your brother and you didn't think this is something I might want to know? Fucking hell Embry is it even fucking legal for you to take my DNA or whatever shit from me without my permission?! I mean what fucking right do you have you asshole!" The flood gates had opened, Jake's octave was rising with each statement or question and I think Lea grasping his shirt again was currently the only thing keeping him from lunging out of his seat.
I couldn't even muster anger to meet his rage with. Everything he was saying was true and I'd known this moment was coming from the first time I brought doing this test up to Harry at Chris's party. All Jake ever asked me for was honesty and I'd lied about something so important and now looking at the betrayal on his face a small part of me wondered if he would ever completely forgive me.
"I know what I did was wrong Jake." I tried to appear earnest. I wanted him to see I was being completely honest with him now. My Alpha just growled deeply at me.
"Good for you do you want a fucking medal. That makes it so much better Embry, that you knew it would piss me off and make me feel like a piece of shit that my best friend would go behind my back about something so significant, but it's alright because he knew it was the fucking wrong thing to do in the first place." Jake was breathing hard, his fury barely contained I think had this been my friend from just a few months ago he would have started beating the shit out of me already.
"Jacob," Lea's calm tone combated the fury of Jacob's and the shame of my own. "I think what Embry is trying to say, is that he can see he's hurt you and that he feels terrible about it. I think maybe this had to really mean something to him, because he knew it would cause this much discord but he still felt strongly enough about it to do it anyway." I flashed the woman on the roof with us a grateful look. Even if she didn't agree with what I'd done I owed her so much for the fact she was trying to calm her boyfriend's rattled senses.
"Bullshit, you put me through hell when I lied to you. I remember that night clearly, trust me. Laying alone in your yard feeling like the biggest fucking asshole in the world and that was to protect the pack. It didn't have to do with your family." Jake's tone was as hurt now as it was scornful. Lea ran her fingers through my friend's hair, I could see attempting to control her own emotions and not allow them to run away from her as Jake got more upset.
"And then I forgave you didn't I, Jacob." The love in her tone, I could see Jake respond to it, his steely expression finally leaving me and raising to consider his girlfriend's words. "What you did hurt me, but the thought of losing you forever because of it was a pain I couldn't bare." I could hardly breathe watching the couple across from me trading looks. Jake's expression going from vehemence down to muted anger. Growling again, lightly this time he turned once again to view me.
"Why did you do it Em?" He hadn't come close to considering forgiving me yet, but at least he wanted to try to understand my side of what happened instead of just screaming at me.
"I've lived my whole life Jake with a big piece of me feeling like I didn't belong anywhere. What happened with your mom was a horrible tragedy man, I know it; but at least you knew she loved you. I didn't even have that, I just had emptiness. Growing up facing so much shit and I couldn't talk to my Mom about it, fuck she still doesn't even know I shape shift. I just wanted someone who I could confide in, someone who could tell me I was doing the right fucking thing." Pain flowed out of my voice like a dam opening and flooding into a river. I fought back tears trying to spill from my eyes. It was bad enough I had to bare every single shitty thing I felt, I didn't want to cry on top of it.
"And what the fuck am I Em? Some asshole you spend time with when you don't feel like being at your house?" Lea was still touching Jake, staying close to him, but to my appreciation she was also simply allowing the two of us to work threw all of this on our own.
"You're the best fucking friend I could have. You do so much for me and rarely ask for anything in return and instead of seeing what should be plain right in front of my face, I lie to you. The worst part is I knew what I was doing was wrong, every fucking step of the way I doubted myself and I still did it. I put some stupid ideal in front of what I actually have. I had so completely convinced myself we were brothers that I couldn't even fucking see that it didn't matter if we shared the same blood, we were already family." My gaze on Jake was pleading. I knew I didn't deserve his forgiveness but I was desperately hoping he would at least listen to my words and try to see that I was genuine in my remorse.
Jake's jaw set, his breathing continued to be hard and I could tell he was still trying to regain complete control over himself. I watched him now grasping Lea's hand like a life line and I could really see how through the imprint she was keeping him from completely losing his cool. "So the test came back negative?" Lea's perceptive nature had noticed the key facts I'd mentioned as I realized I hadn't even told Jake what had happened.
Silently I nodded, still studying the frowning face of my friend, wishing he would say something else even if it was to scream at me more so I could at least know what he was thinking. Jake growled again, looking off into the city for a few spare moments before I watched his eyes close for a brief time. "I need to get out of here for a little while."
I guess I shouldn't be surprise my friend needed a little time to think, but in the same token I hated leaving this open ended at this moment and wish we could just hash everything out right now. Lea stepped away from Jake, nodding in understanding as he stood. My Alpha sighed again, deeply, glancing up at his girlfriend before briefly looking over to me. "I won't be gone too long."
I didn't know what to say as Jake stomped away and down the stairs leaving the door to the roof open. I sat mildly stunned, staring down at my hands, not certain what to say or do at the moment. Across from me I heard Lea sliding into the seat Jake had just been in. "Give him a little time and he'll calm down Em." I felt my brown knit surprised by the reassurance from her. I had assumed Lea would be just as mad at me as Jake was.
"I didn't mean to mess everything up. Jake's right I'm an asshole." My voice was filled with self deprecation. My head dropping into my hands as I tried to come to terms with everything that had just happened.
"I won't say what you did was right Embry, but you didn't do any of it with malicious intent. You just didn't see what you already had right in front of you. You don't need to be tearing yourself apart looking for family, because we're all right here and all of us love you." Slowly my gaze rose to the woman across from me, her expression empathic and kind. Part of me didn't believe I deserved it, but another part was grateful.
"I just hope I haven't completely messed up my friendship with Jake." I spoke the fear most forefront in my mind.
"Please Jacob will run around, blow off some steam and probably come back here ready to discuss all of this with you in a calm manner. Embry you mean so much to Jake, you're one of the most important people in his life, and he's not going to turn his back on you. Yes this is serious, but personally I don't think it's completely unforgivable." Lea reached over to pat my knee, and the certainty in her expression slightly crippled the fear in my own.
Foot steps slowly climbing to where we were both sitting drew my attention. I felt an aching need as Becky's head popped out the open doorway. I just wanted to hold her and feel safe and loved in her embrace. Becky's gaze drifted from Lea to I. "So what just happened and why did you let Jake leave here looking so pissed off?"
AN: And everything is finally out in the open between Embry and Jacob. Hopefully this meets everyone's approval! I wanted Jake to be understandably upset, but at the same time I don't think this will destroy the life long friendship between the two men. They mean too much to one another and Em didn't want to hurt Jake on purpose.
We also still have this new question of other packs hanging up in the air and what's going to happen with Becky and Embry and the shifter, I almost forget him for a second!
Sorry once again this update took me a bit longer. Five more weeks and I finish this semester and then I should have loads more time to write. Which I honestly can't wait for, sometimes writing this fic is the bright spot of my day! I have been mapping out the next book and was struck by some ideas for yet another book (even though I'd only planned on three Jake muse just won't leave me alone!) and I want to ask would anyone here be interested in reading what's gonna happen to Quil? Leah's the other featured wolf in book 3 but I actually have some interesting ideas for Quil brewing in my brain now because he will not imprint on a toddler, that bothers me so much. Grrr!
If you have any feelings on this matter just shoot me a PM or review because I absolutely love hearing from everyone! Squinttern and PastOneonta thank you both so much for the fantastic reviews last chapter! I always look forward to seeing what you both write!
