Prepare your tissues.
Chapter 28
I squeezed the excess water from my hair with the towel an annoyed look on my face. I hadn't been able to take a relaxing shoer due to the loud roaring of laughter and noise coming from the living room. When I entered the living room the sight that lay in front of me was shocking to say the least. It was my parents, Greg, Sirius and James sitting together eating breakfast while laughing and looking like more like a family than our actual family. I approached them with my arms crossed and eyebrows raised.
"What is going on here?" I said, taking a seat next to Greg.
He passed me a plate of waffles, "Nothing, we were just talking - Sirius was telling us this story about how you once tripped and then made another girl trip who also tripped another girl - he said it was what? oh yeah, like the domino effect or something." He said and laughed, chewing on a piece of his bread obnoxiously.
I picked up a blue berry and threw it at Sirius, "You can't keep your damn mouth shut can you, Black?" I said, shaking my head at him in disappointment.
He dodged the blueberry with ease, "Your mum asked me about the funniest thing you did in school this year and I told her, I'm being honest that's all." He said, an innocent look on his face.
I shook my head, "That's where you're wrong mister! That was not the funniest thing I did this year, the funniest thing was when Professor McGonagall asked me how I was and I accidentally told her that I loved her." I said, buttering my toast proudly.
James snorted and almost spilled his pumpkin juice everywhere, "That was quite hilarious actually. That's it, you win, Winnie." He said, grinning.
I grinned arrogantly at Sirius who had an amused smile on his face, "I don't mean to sound rude or anything but what the hell are you two doing here? So early in the morning too!" I said, taking a bite out of my toast. "
My mother was the one who replied, "I invited them over, of course. Technically, I invited James but then he told me that Sirius is now staying with them so I told him to just bring him as well. You know what they say the more the merrier!" my mom said happily.
I turned to look at Sirius a huge smile on my face, "You're staying with James? for how long?" I said, incredibly relieved for him.
James put his arm around Sirius's shoulder, "Forever! He's staying with me forever." he turned to Sirius, "If you thought you could escape, you were wrong." he nodded, looking serious.
Sirius chuckled and I was glad that he seemed to be in a better mood since he left Grimmauld Place, he seemed to look better as well. His face regained the colour he lost, his eyes had that same mischievous glint and he was almost always with a smile. It was reassuring.
"Actually, I'm staying with James until I find my own place. I don't know how long that will take but hey, life's an adventure." he said taking a bite out of his food.
My father clapped Sirius on the back proudly, "A man who knows how to live,'" he said, fondly. "He's the son I need, not this one." My dad gestured to Greg who was lazily putting a spoonful of cereal into his mouth.
Greg scoffed, directing all our attention towards him. "What? Really, dad? I take extreme offence to that. Do you know how much I bloody to? I bring bloody honour to this family! He's a boy, I'm a man." Greg said, clapping his biceps to emphasise his masculinity.
My mother gasped and pointed her fork at Greg, "Language, Gregory!" she said looking ashamed at him, "Ignore him, would you? He's all fussy since he lost that last quidditch game."
I nodded, "Yeah, just like he lost the game before that and the game before that and the one before that as well." I said, throwing a berry in my mouth.
James's ears perked up, "Whoa, whoa, whoa - we all know that it's not your brother who's at fault, it's that new beater for Merlin's sake! What kind of swing is that? What's he trying to do? Catch butterflies?" James said, rolling his eyes.
Greg looked at James like he was his lover, "Yes! yes, exactly! That's exactly what I mean! Everyone thinks he's so great but he's cursed I tell you, we haven't won one game since he joined." Greg said, annoyed.
James scoffed, "You're telling me, I know mate. He must be cursed or something, he's ruining quidditch I tell you." he sighed looking disappointed.
Greg patted James on the back, "Don't worry about it, mate. This is just temporary. We'll be back to winning in no time, once this bloke's kicked off the bloody team."
I guffawed, "Greg, are you joking? The team literally changed their slogan from 'We shall conquer' to 'Let's all just keep our fingers crossed and hope for the best',"
He rolled my eyes at me, "Oh just shut up, Winnie. What do you know about quidditch?" he turned to face James, "Hey Potter, want to play some quidditch?"
James looked touched, "Of course, of course I do." He stood up and the turned and pointed to his pancakes, "If anyone tries to eat that and I mean anyone, expect a bludger in your head." he warned.
Surprisingly, my father decided to stand up too. "I'm playing too."
Greg gaped at him, "What? Dad? Really? I've been asking you to play quidditch with me for months! now Potter wants to play and you're all for it? This is discrimination on all levels!" He said melodramatically.
My father rolled his eyes, "This is why I don't play quidditch with you," He said and I watched them all leave, James looked ecstatic he had probably been dreaming of this day since I had first introduced him to Greg.
Mum chuckled, "I have got to see this," she said picking up her tea and following them.
I smiled, for the first time in a long time I felt warm, happy and safe. I loved seeing them all together, I loved seeing my friends with smiles on their faces. I loved knowing that they were all having a good time, that they were enjoying themselves. Seeing them laughing, having fun. It was more magical to me than any spell could ever be.
"Penny for your thoughts?" Sirius said, taking a sip of his pumpkin juice.
I smiled back, "My thoughts are worth more than a penny. They're worth three pennies, or four." I moved the pieces of food around the plate with my fork, "How've you been?" I asked, sincerely wanting to know.
Sirius kept his eyes downcast but I could see his lips forming a smile, "Honestly?" I nodded. "I've never been better. For once, I feel like I'm in control of my life, I feel - I don't know, like I can breathe, if that even makes sense." he said, laughing slightly as he ran a hand through his hair.
I nodded, "Yeah, I do." I smiled. "Merlin, it's so good to see you like this, it makes me so happy to see you like this. When I saw you at the party. You didn't look like yourself."
When I looked back up at him, his eyes looked like they were shining. Not as in, he looked like he was going to cry. As in his eyes were sparkling, it was like the colour became more vibrant, if that was even remotely possible. He had a poker-face on but his eyes gave him away, I could tell that he was touched.
"That's because I wasn't myself." He laughed scornfully. "You know why I looked like that? At the party?"
I nodded attentively, "Yeah," I wasn't sure if I really wanted to know or not.
He went quiet for a moment, he seemed to be considering whether to tell me or not. He was taking so long, it made me wonder what he had to say. He then glanced up at me and licked his lips, "Because I was going to kill myself. That cigarette was supposed to be my last." his eyes flickered to me, a smile curling at his lips. "You can't imagine how I felt when I saw you."
I could feel my whole body shake, as if an electric current had just hit me. "You - you, you were going to - kill yourself?" I said, gasping. "No, but why? I don't - huh?!" I said, staring at my hands in confusion.
He ran a hand through his hair, "They say that everything happens for a reason, I never believed in that to be honest. But now I do, because if you didn't show up Winnie. If you didn't call out my name, I wouldn't be sitting here right now." he said, watching my reaction.
I felt hot tears slip out of my eyes, "You - you weren't going to tell me were you?" I sniffled, already knowing the answer to that question.
Sirius got up immediately and moved over to me, he placed a comforting hand on my shoulders. "Winnie, please don't cry-" he said, before I cut him off.
"I can't believe you thought about killing yourself. If you died, we would all die with you. You're - I just," I said, before I covered my mouth because I knew if I didn't I wouldn't be able to stop the sobs that were already trying to escape my throat.
Sirius brushed the hair out of my face, "I know, darling. I know. But I was looking for an escape and it seemed like the best solution. It wasn't, I know that now." He said, sincerely. But truthfully, I understood and he didn't need to explain anything to me but I didn't respond - I couldn't, because I knew the only thing that would come out of my mouth would be either angry slurs or choking sobs. Or the worst, a combination of both.
Sirius grabbed my hand and led me to my room, where he knew I'd explode. But I didn't. Not right away at least.
I grabbed the nearest pillow and started hitting him with it, "Eres muy estúpido" I said angrily and then stopped hitting him because I felt another wave of tears hit me, "If you - if you died, a part of me would die with you, Sirius." I said, my voice breaking. "I hate you." I said, wrapping my arms around him tightly.
He hugged me back just as tightly and since he was taller than me, he rested his chin on my head. I felt myself calm down in his arms, my breathing went back to normal and he released me once the sobs quietened down and I was reduced back to only sniffling.
"You alright?" he whispered.
"Idiot," I mumbled under my breath. "You're an idiot."
He laughed, "Winnie, I'm alright now. Actually, you know what? I'm better than alright. I'm free. I'm never going to go back to that. Being there made me lose myself, but it's not going to happen again. I can promise you that." he said squeezing my hand and I knew that he was being earnest.
I wiped my eye with my sleeve and I managed a small cough of laughter, "Good, because I don't want to live in a world where Sirius Black doesn't exist," I paused, "who else's eyes am I supposed to admire?" I added the last part to try and lighten the mood.
Sirius chuckled, "Was that a flirtation?" He said, nudging me gently. I could tell that he was trying to loosen the tension and add a touch of his relaxed air into the atmosphere, I appreciated it.
I nodded, laughing slightly. "Yes, yes it was. But I'm pretty sure you already know that I love your eyes. I've only mentioned it a thousand times." I said, rolling my eyes.
He nodded, a smile present on his face. "I do actually know how much you love my eyes, what did you tell me that time you were drunk? Hmm, what was it? Oh yeah," he paused, making his voice high-pitched, "Sirius your eyes look like the Moon and the sea combined together, if the moon and the sea had a baby it would be your eyes." He said, snickering.
I burst into laughter, clutching my stomach to stop myself from laughing so hard. "Is that - is that what I said? That's so creative! I'm hilarious when I'm drunk, why did no one tell me? But I stand by my drunk words!" I said, slamming my hand down on the bed.
Sirius's eyes gleamed with amusement, "I'll tell you. You're a hilarious drunk."
"Damn right I am, I'm also really smart, nice and amazing." I said, with a cocky grin, "Hey, can I ask you a question? You know what, it doesn't matter I'm going to ask you anyway."
He shrugged, "Alright, ask me whatever you want." He said, propping himself against the wall.
"Okay, now I've been thinking - you know how I asked you to pretend to be my boyfriend once we go back to Hogwarts? I realised, we have to 'do things'" I said putting up air quotations, "Isn't that a bit weird?"
Sirius laughed, "You mean like kiss? Of course I realised it, I'm surprised it took you this long."
I rolled my eyes, "I actually meant like hold hands but yes, that too! How are you so chill about this?" I said, feeling my face grow warmer.
Sirius's eyes lazily flicked up towards me, "No, it's not." he then laughed, "I'm chill about it because this is nothing compared to other stuff I've done. I'm Sirius Black," he said, grinning.
I rolled my eyes playfully, "What I meant was I don't want people thinking that I'm one of your little playthings, okay!" I erupted.
Sirius's eyebrows rose, "My little what?" he said, trying to stifle his laughter. "That's what your worried about?" He said, laughing so hard he almost fell off the bed if I hadn't pulled him in time.
"Careful you idiot," I said, laughing too. "But seriously and honestly. Sirius, you have a reputation, which I'm sure you're aware of - I just, I don't want to be like all the other girls you've ever went out with." I said with a small frown.
He went quiet for a moment, "You can't be like all the girls I went out with, because you're nothing like all the girls I ever went out with. Besides, why should you care what other people think? " He said, a small smile on his face.
"I don't but at the same time I don't want people to think things about me, I mean people hate me enough already and I just want to - I kind of want to break the stereotype, I guess? I want to be different." I said, chuckling.
Sirius laughed, "Winnie, you are different. You want to break the stereotype? Just be you, you break enough stereotypes by doing that. You're Winnie Powers for Merlin's sake, there's no one like you. You're different, embrace it." he said with a shrug.
I was impressed, he knew me better than I thought he did. "Maybe, you're right. Actually no, you are right. Thank you, you made me see things coherently again." I said smiling.
He gave me a fond smile but he didn't reply and neither did I, we didn't feel the need to. I felt like the relationship between Sirius and I had advanced, from an awkward atmosphere into a beautiful silence. I had always thought that when it was silent, you were supposed to talk. To fill the void of silence, but with the right people, the right person - you didn't have to fill the void, you didn't have to speak because without even having to utter a single word, you both understood each other. Perhaps this was the beauty of a comfortable silence.
"If you ever want to talk, you know I'm here." I muttered, letting my eyes wander off to him.
I studied his face from the side, his eyes were gazing downwards and I could see a smile ready to emerge on his face. He was sitting so casually, but he looked beautiful. I wasn't sure if you could call a man beautiful, but if you could. It would be him. I had never admitted it to him but sirius's beauty intimidated me a little. With his perfect, long nose and defined cheek-bones, I always felt like I was a bit bland standing next to him.
I was sitting so close to him that I noticed for the very first time of the freckles that danced around his face, I gasped and grabbed his face suddenly so I could see his face as a whole.
"What are you doing-" Sirius said, confused before I covered his mouth with my hand.
"Quiet, I'm trying to see if you have freckles." I said, laughing at how ridiculous I sounded.
I inspected him face closely and I was right! He did have freckles, scattered all around his face but mostly on his nose. But they were very close to the colour of his actual skin which was why I had never noticed them before.
"You have freckles! That is so cute!" I cooed. "You are so lucky, I wish I had freckles."
The door suddenly slammed open and our heads both snapped at the door where James stood, at first he had an excited grin on his face which turned into a look of pure confusion and shock. I then realised the compromising position he had caught us in. My hands were on Sirius's face and to someone who had not heard our conversation, it seemed like I was grabbing his face - to well, kiss him.
I immediately let go and shot up from my bed, "This is not what it looks like!" I said, jumping up and down.
James didn't look convinced, "Are you two shagging?!" he asked, looking between us.
My eyeballs almost launched out of my head, "NO!" I turned to Sirius, "That is literally the complete opposite of what you think!"
Sirius threw his head back in laughter, "I'm not sure what's funnier, Winnie's reaction or James's accusation." he laughed, shaking his head. "No, no, definitely Winnie's reaction." he said grinning.
I glared at Sirius, "Sirius! focus!" I looked at James, "Nothing happened, okay! This is taken out of context." I said trying to make him understand.
James narrowed his eyes in suspicion, "I don't believe you, your face was inches away from his." He said, plainly. "You were literally holding his face, in your hands."
I groaned, realising how that probably looked in his head. "I wasn't trying to kiss him, though! You don't understand." I said, jumping from annoyance. "This is not what you think."
Sirius laughed, "We're not shagging, I promise you that."
James looked so annoyed, "Okay you're not shagging, so what are you two? Are you together? You know what - I know what this is, you didn't want anyone knowing. Smart bastard. That's why you told me you fancied her yesterday? to drop me a hint? How thick d'you think I am?" James said, pacing around the room and then looking at Sirius.
There is a moment in every person's life where something absolutely shocking can happen. It can be so shocking it can make you question if it actually happened or not, perhaps it was a dream. Or a hallucination, you might say. But, the truth about that was those shocking moments were neither dream nor myth, but reality. This was one of those moments.
"Wait what?" I exclaimed. "You fancy me?!" I directed my question to Sirius.
Sirius said nothing but turned to glare at James sharply, before lowering his head and avoiding everyone's gaze.
James then glanced between us, confusied. That was before realisation slapped him across his face. "Oh shite. You didn't know, did you?" James asked rhetorically.
"Not really." I muttered.
Translation:
eres muy estúpido / you are so stupid
