"Fit for a King" (Rose)
I feel pangs of guilt looking over at Merlin the entire time. He seems so awkward ... more so than his normal and endearing way, for this is appearing to make him be estranged. Must be quite the switch for the servant to be served. However, the way he goes about ensuring that he thanks those who wait upon us and gives them a smile is one of the sweetest displays of his genuine heart I have seen to date.
"So, milady," Arthur's voice drags me away from my previous thoughts of admiration, "Tell me about your home." At this, Merlin promptly spits out a bit of his drink, and my chicken becomes a bit harder to swallow.
"What is it that you would like to know?" I ask with as much strength as I can muster without bursting into a puddle of tears.
"Well, for instance, where are you from?"
"A place not too far from here- a small secluded area with very little people."
"Is that where all your friends are then?"
"N-no, Your Majesty," I choke a bit, while Merlin's eyes are brewing with anxiety. He wants the questioning to stop. He can see me faltering.
"Are they coming to visit you in Camelot?" Arthur presses in a nearly excited tone.
I feel a lump hardening in my throat, and I try to swallow once more, the tears beginning to form in the innermost corners of my eyes. "Arthur," Merlin begins.
"Merlin," I gently stop him, "It's alright." I turn my wavering gaze from him to Arthur, whose face is the picture of confusion. "My friends are gone, too, Arthur ... They've died."
"I am so sorry," he averts his eyes, clearly stunned. He clears his throat, "How long has it been?"
"Feels like ages," I feel my spirit begin to mist like the air when it drizzles.
"So," he continues, "I assume that is why you're in Camelot."
"Yes," I return my eyes to my plate, which suddenly doesn't seem to be as appetizing anymore. "Gaius has always been a very dear friend of my family. I was to be entrusted to his care were they to pass before I married or struck out on my own. Even though I am of age, there was no point for me to remain."
"I am surprised," he changes the focus of the conversation, "that you have not been swept off your feet by now. You have all the makings of a wonderful wife ... Fit for a king!"
The heat begins to rise in my cheeks from such a compliment. I know he didn't mean it in the way it sounded, however, from peeking over at Merlin, I don't think that translated well. I do my best to ease any sort of odd tension and dead air, "Thank you, my lord."
"Nevermore Alone" (Merlin)
Ever since Arthur made that remark, my mind has been in a haze. Before I realize, dinner is finished, and the plates cleared away. Rose is standing, and I figure I should too. "Thank you, again, Arthur," she says with sincere politeness, "It was a most enjoyable meal."
"Yeah, thanks," I chime in, trying to appear in the moment and cheery.
"It was my pleasure entirely," Arthur half-bows to her and nods towards me, "We should do it again sometime."
I'm still hazy as we walk out the door and down the steps, heading for our chambers when she stops me. "Merlin," she bites her lower lip, "I know it's late, but would you mind if we took that stroll we talked about?"
"Now?" I ask, a little caught off guard.
"Well, yes ... But perhaps another time would be best," she turns to walk away.
I catch her arm with my hand, "No, now is- now is perfect," I smile, maybe a bit too eagerly.
"Alright then," she smiles shyly before turning once more, but this time to walk down the stairs and out of the castle.
We're a bit a ways from the gate when I hear stifled giggling. I peer over at Rose who is covering her mouth with her hand. I give her a questioning look, "What?"
"Was that as awkward and surprising for you as it was me?" she laughs aloud.
"The dinner?"
"Yes! Oh, I didn't even know what to say at first ... And poor Arthur, with the purest of intentions, asking questions and getting the most horrid of answers. I feel terrible and yet it is currently the funniest thing to me!"
I'm laughing now, too; her laughter is contagious, and, thinking back on the whole thing, I can see now she was embarrassed and not entirely flustered in the way I thought she was. "I could have sworn he was going to choke a few times!"
"I know!" she laughs harder, "Oh, I must be an awful person to be laughing like this."
"If you are, then I definitely am!"
"I wonder if he suddenly had an epiphany that the things he had done and said could have come across in a very wrong way," she giggles a little less now.
"What do you mean?" I laugh once and then quiet.
"Oh, come on, Merlin, I saw your face. You thought that Arthur was making verbal advances and I was taking them. You must have been so shocked." I can't believe she saw through me so easily. "I mean, I would have been taken aback if I had witnessed that. Me? Fit for a king? It was laughable."
That comment throws me off a little. "Well, I'll admit that it did shock me, and yes, I was thinking along those lines ... However, it wasn't because of you, it was because I know where Arthur's affection lies."
"With the sweet serving girl," she finishes.
"How did you-"
"Merlin, there's one thing you should know about me. I can see what others don't. I observe. I am also not a fool. Anyone with an open mind and eyes can see that he has strong feelings for her. You can almost feel it between them. And, you just have to notice the glint of love in their eyes when they look at each other."
"But they barely even looked at each other this morning."
"That's just the thing, isn't it?"
I shake my head from my now muddled mind, "What is?"
"They avoid it, because it's so potent- so real. If I could tell, who else can? Why avert your gaze when you're not hiding something you can see clearly in it?"
"Wow," my mouth stays open a second, "That is incredibly perceptive."
"I try my best," she looks forward once more as we continue down towards the lower town.
"I guess there's no running from the truth of one's heart then," I blurt, almost without meaning to. Normally, I wouldn't really want to say anything like that, but I don't feel constricted in the least with her. I don't feel the need to bite my tongue. She understands ... I don't know how, but she really, truly does, and it feels so wonderful. I finally know I am nevermore alone. I feel fantastic.
"No," her voice softens, "I suppose there really isn't."
