Dear Journal,

Sorry I haven't written to you in a while... well since the start of this journey if I'm honest but a lot of things have happened, unbelievable things... and now I'm lost.

It's been two weeks since I lost mine and Nate's baby and since then I've moved out of the room we shared together and into a room with Ashley and we've been partying like wild animals – drunk most nights and whilst she brings back different guys to the room I normally just sleep on the couch. I've had messages from Nate asking me to move back in so I can calm down and he's worried for me, you know the usual things boys say when they are desperate or know they've done something wrong. But in this case you could say this was my fault, I didn't know how to handle things and I pushed him away and realised that we though way to much (the reason why we always break up!) and that I don't really want somebody in my life right now I'm free and single and seventeen I want to live my life!

I'll try write in you from time to time but right now I'm trying to have fun on this doomed boat.

Jenny x x

-

"Jenny!" A voice shouted from behind the wall.

Jenny sighed and stood up walking around the corner to notice the girl wrapped in a towel

"What Ashley?" Jenny said in a way that showed she was aggravated.

Ashley rolled her eyes and began to walk over to her bed.

This room was smaller than the one Jenny had shared with Nate – there was only one bed (a double) the covers were Egyptian cotton and a oceanic blue, there was a small mirror on one of the cupboards and there was only a living room and a small bathroom a little too close to comfort for Jenny part of the reason she regrets leaving the room she shared with Nate.

"I met these guys last night and they invited us out tonight they say they have some great stuff that could blow us away and we wouldn't remember the night before... so I told them we'd meet them at around seven?" Ashley questioned Jenny and smiled with a devious smile.

Jenny shook her head "No Ash, no way I'm not experimenting on a boat... how did they even get drugs onto a boat! No, no and no."

Ashley let out a laugh and looked up at Jenny "I know right, it's amazing some people are just insane."

Jenny nodded her head and walked away wishing that she could return to her old room and even though things were bad between her and Nate it was better than being here with a psychotic freak who thought two guys who smuggle drugs were 'insane'.

Ashley followed Jenny and sat down next to her on the couch "Look, fine... I'm sorry if you don't want me to go out on my own then I won't go – has no one ever told you to experiment things?"

"You can go, but I'm not going with you, drugs are no longer my scene and you could get into serious trouble if you were caught." Jenny frowned and walked away from Ashley.

Fast forward to 6:30pm!

"I'm leaving in half an hour, are you coming or not?" Ashley questioned Jenny who was reading a message on her phone.

Jenny re-read the message over and over until she responded to Ashley's question "You're supposed to experiment."

Ashley nodded her head and smiled at Jenny before turning around and heading towards the bathroom so she could put on some make-up.

"Hurry up, we only have half an hour!"

Jenny rushed into their room and began rummaging through her clothes throwing them around and screaming at the different tops that weren't the right ones.

When they were ready they took a few photos (This was Ashley's mantra that she always did before heading out.)

They made their way down the hallway and towards a doorway that was 2 floors under them, when Jenny became nervous she would scratch her neck and this was what she was doing, luckily no one except Nate and Dan knew about her habit.

"Are you ok?" Ashley said staring at the awkward positioned blonde.

Jenny gushed "Fine... is this their room?"

Ashley nodded and waited for them to open the door so they could sneak in.

"Are we staying here or going out?" Jenny asked nervously.

Ashley shrugged her shoulder and gave Jenny a plain "I don't know – we'll see what happens."

'What have I done' Jenny said to herself she wanted to hit herself on the head she had gotten herself into another mess which she wouldn't be able to get out of.

The door opened with a cloud of smoke and Jenny grabbed onto Ashley's arm as she navigated her around the haze – she was now in trouble and there was no walking away from what was about to happen, and no one to save her as no one knew where she was and who she was with.

"We have a selection for you two to choose from and we made it the best so we could impress you." The manly tone said looking at both Jenny and Ashley.

Ashley gave him a flirtatious smile and walked over to them sitting on the couch.

"What's wrong with you? You nervous, never done this before?" The brunette said looking at Jenny.

Jenny rubbed her arms and shook her head "No, it's just weird... how did you get this onto a boat and then smoke it without getting caught?"

"We have certain connections that help us out – so stop with the questions and come an join us."

Jenny shook her head and walked away "I'm fine thanks, Ash I think I'm going to go and get some sleep I'm still tired from the other night."

The brunette jumped up and walked over to Jenny grabbing her arm "You can stay in my room if you want?"

Jenny pulled away and shook her head "No thanks, I'd rather sleep in my own bed."

"You have a boyfriend?" The brunette asked.

Ashley stood up and ran over to them interrupting "No they broke up after she lost his baby and became insane like me... now he doesn't love her anymore so she hangs with me."

The brunette scoffed and turned to Jenny "Is this true – a guy did that to you, someone so beautiful?"

Jenny nodded her head and looked away from him and towards Ashley hoping that she'd help her but instead she smiled and walked off with the other boy that Jenny didn't know – now she was left alone in a room fall of smoke enough to get you 'high' and a horny guy who wouldn't get off her case.

"Sit down, and let me get you a drink... no strings attached." They male smiled at Jenny.

Jenny nodded her head and walked over to the couch and sat down on it immediately pulling out her phone.

Nate I need help.

Ashley has brought me to this room with some creepy guys and now this one won't let me leave – it's room 340! Please hurry.

"Who you texting?"

Jenny shook her head and smiled "No one I got a message from that ex-boyfriend of mine so I just deleted it."

(Here I began to listen to I Gave You My All – Mumford and Sons START THE SONG AROUND 27 SECONDS it adds effect.)

The brunette nodded and handed Jenny her drink making sure she took a few sips.

"I'm not that bad see." The brunette said smiling and moving his body closer towards Jenny who moved more away from him.

"But you still don't like me." He sighed.

Jenny looked at him and took another swig of her drink "I came here for her not for anything else... so don't try anything on me because I don't want it."

"Yeah I understand but don't deny that you don't find me a little attractive." The brunette played with Jenny and moved closer to her, now she was in a corner and couldn't move.

"Seriously – no now please get off me or I'll leave and she'll be on her own and I don't want that because I don't know what will happen to her." Jenny scoffed and pushed the guy a little.

The brunette moved a little and rolled his eyes "She seems fine she's having fun with Calvin what more could she want."

Jenny stood up and moved over to the kitchen and placed the drink on the counter. She couldn't see from behind her but she felt a hand trap her onto the counter.

He moved his hands on to her bum and began to feel her up, Jenny turned around and began to push him but nothing seemed to work.

"Please leave me alone!" Jenny shouted.

The guy fought against her and began to kiss her, Jenny moved her head back hoping he wouldn't be able to reach her lips but he could.

Her phone began to ring and she went to answer it, it was Nate. The brunette grabbed the phone and looked at the caller ID.

"Who's Nate?" The brunette asked hanging up on him.

"No one" Jenny said walking away from the male.

The boy laughed and nodded his head "He's the ex-boyfriend that doesn't love you anymore because you lost his baby."

Jenny shook her head "He still loves me and it's not my fault I lost the baby so please let me leave!"

He shook his head "No! You came here and you wanted trouble and now you have it so you going to get what you deserve."

Jenny ran across the room but was blocked from the door "You're not leaving."

There was a knock at the door "JENNY ARE YOU IN THERE?"

It was Nate; he had come to help her.

"Nate! Nate help me." She shouted and moved across the room.

"The doors locked open it!" Nate said panicking.

Jenny shook her head and watched as the brunette laughed "The doors locked!"

"ASHLEY WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE NOW, THESE GUYS ARE PHSYCOTIC!"

There was no reply and Jenny turned around and watched as the brunette pushed her onto the couch.

"NATE!" she screamed as much as she could but the guy's body was covering her mouth.

Nate began to push against the door running back and forth into it.

"GET OFF ME PLEASE!" Jenny began to push and push making him fall onto the ground she ran to the door and was in time for Nate to nearly break it off the hinges.

"Nate!" Jenny shouted in relief.

He walked straight past her and turned to the brunette and began to punch him in the face and then kicked him even harder.

"You touch her again and I swear I'll kill you – you and your pathetic sick friend!" Nate screamed

He kicked him again and shouted "You hear me!"

The boy lifted his head up and nodded "Yes, yes I hear you now get out and don't come back both of you."

Jenny watched Nate furiously kick him one last time and then grabbed her hand pulling her out the room and slamming the door.

"Thanks" she whispered and watched as Nate shake his head at her and walk down the hallway with a red face and bloody knuckles.

"At least let me help you with your knuckles?"

Nate led her to their room they once shared and watched her as she walked into the bathroom and began preparing some anti-septic wipes and cold water so she could clean the cuts.

"You really hit the hell out of him." Jenny said smiling up at Nate.

Nate nodded his head and looked away from her, he walked over to the bench and sat on it next to the sink and watched the top of Jenny's head as she cleaned the wound.

Nate made noises from time to time for where it would hurt when the anti-septic wipes touched the raw wound and he could feel it cleaning out his flesh.

"Sorry." Jenny said grabbing his knuckles hoping she could stop the throbbing.

"That's ok" Nate said looking at her and smiling "I guess I deserve to feel pain after what I just did."

Jenny shook her head "No you don't, that guy was insane if anything he deserved to be hurt."

"Why were you there?" Nate asked picking Jenny's face up with his thumb.

Jenny shook her head and followed his jaw line "I got that text from you and Ashley asked me out so I went – I didn't think we were going to be spending the whole night there... I just thought we were meeting them and then leaving."

"Jenny I could smell the pot outside the room." Nate sighed and looked her in the eyes.

"I'm worried about you; you can go out and party but to some extent don't punish yourself."

(At 45 seconds here I began to listen to Eskimo Joe – How Does It Feel)

Jenny laughed and looked at Nate "You don't need to worry about me, I'm fine... just tonight was a mistake and I regret it."

"So what... you're going to go back to your room now and wait for Ashley to come back and then forgive her for taking you to that place and leaving you there with a guy that wanted to hurt you... Jenny! You are better than her don't waste your time."

Jenny rolled her eyes and began to walk away "Nate don't act like you care please... save the shit for someone else who's going to believe it."

Nate grabbed her arm and pulled her into his chest "I told you I love you and things don't just come and go like that."

Jenny pulled her arm out "Well in your life women come and go and you love them all... so prove to me that you love me the most, that I'm the one and I beat out Vanessa, Serena and Blair make me feel like I'm the only person you've ever loved or been with because I don't feel that way."

Nate shrugged his shoulders "How do I do that?"

Jenny shrugged and watched as Nate moved in closer to her and kissed her lips and pushed her out the bathroom and into the bedroom, he kissed down her neck and then moved up to her ear and listened to her moan and grab his cheeks so he wouldn't stop kissing her. He bent down and removed her jacket and then her t-shirt he pushed his hands against her skin and then pushed them down her jeans and watched as she tried to unbutton his jeans (she needed help) he then removed his t-shirt and pushed Jenny onto the bed moving down her body kissing her and trying to pull down her underwear, Jenny pulled his down and then moved under the covers.

Nate sat up and leaned against the backboard of the bed and watched Jenny sit on top off him and moved around kissing him and then his neck, she raised her body and looked down at him, her hair wet from where she was sweating was all over the place, Nate rested his hands on her cheeks and kissed her slowly – when she broke away she looked at him up and down and smiled.

"I love you too."

-

Sorry I haven't updated in a while.

Hope you guys liked the chapter – please give me some ideas as what to do because I'm confused about where to go with the story.

Also just remembered when I made predictions about the season finale MAN WAS I WRONG!

Also have you guys read about Chace Crawford ending up in jail – I was shocked about that too (but what can I say people experiment.)