Chapter Twenty-nine - Love
Sesshoumaru stole a quick kiss before he set Kagome down on the stone steps of the Mikazuki castle. Kagome smothered her grin and turned to meet the servant who hurried to greet them.
There was no nervousness this time as she entered the castle by Sesshoumaru's side. She walked down the corridors with a sure step and her head held high.
And she wasn't trying to hide behind Sesshoumaru anymore. She felt at ease in her rightful place.
The banquet hall was half-full when they entered. Moriyasu walked down from the front of the room and came to greet them at the door. He bowed politely, his typical kitsune smile flashing, before he addressed them.
"Welcome, Lord Sesshoumaru and Lady Kagome. Let me escort you to Lady Chiyo."
Sesshoumaru inclined his head, and Kagome fell into step beside him.
Curious, she allowed her gaze to sweep across the room.
This time, the guests' faces were familiar. They nodded to them as they walked past, some even shouting greetings or raising their sake dishes.
The smile rose easily to Kagome's lips. How different it felt to take part in the feast, this time around.
Like last year, they stopped before the dais and bowed. Then, they exchanged the formal greeting with Lady Mother, as was customary.
Once again, she welcomed them with a smile and bid them to sit at the seat of honour.
Neither Sesshoumaru nor Kagome were very surprised by that, and sat down gratefully.
Kagome fussed with the hem of the uchikake as she took her seat, spreading it around her the correct way. The garment was new, and an unexpected gift from Sesshoumaru, so she wanted to show it off to its advantage.
Sesshoumaru grabbed the bottle of sake on the tray set up for them and poured some for them both.
"We're just going to start drinking right away?" Kagome asked, a smile teasing her lips as she accepted the sake dish from Sesshoumaru.
"It is a celebration," he replied with a shrug. "And the others have already started."
Kagome followed his gaze, and found Lord Shigetomo sitting across the hall from them, a sake dish in one hand, the other resting on his son's shoulder.
The sight was sweet and Kagome hoped they would get a chance greet them and catch up with Lord Shigetomo.
She turned back to Sesshoumaru and raised the sake dish in a salute. "Let's celebrate, then!"
Had they been alone, she was sure he would've grinned. As they were out in public, however, Sesshoumaru kept his face impassive – probably out of habit more than anything. But from the warmth radiating through the mating bond, as well as the faint glimmer in his golden eyes, she could tell he was both amused and pleased.
Together, they drank their sake and watched the guests file in.
Kagome perked up the moment Sango and Miroku walked in. Miroku had chosen to attend in his typical monk's robes, but Sango seemed to have a new kosode, in a very flattering shade of red.
Like all the others, the monk and taijiya followed Moriyasu up to the dais where they exchanged greetings with Lady Mother. Then, they were shown to their designated seats – the ones right next to Kagome and Sesshoumaru.
Kagome reached over and clasped Sango's hand in greeting as soon as they'd sat down.
"Hi! It's so good to see you!"
Sango squeezed Kagome's hand, flashed her a ready smile. "How are you?"
"I'm fine. In a celebratory mood." Kagome grinned, feeling the vibrations of Sesshoumaru's silent laughter. "How are you? And the kids?"
"We're doing well. And the kids are great," Sango replied.
"I like your new kosode."
Sango's cheeks flushed. "It was a gift." She glanced at her husband. "From Miroku."
"A little token of my appreciation," Miroku said, feigning innocence.
"It looks lovely on you," Sesshoumaru complimented, joining the conversation.
"Thank you," Sango said. She shared a look with Miroku, then cleared her throat. "It might be a little soon to tell you this, but since we don't know when we will see you next, we might as well…"
"The news are best shared in person than in a letter, anyway," Miroku added.
"The news?" Kagome repeated her curiosity piqued.
"My Sango is expecting."
Once, hearing those words would've sent a stab of jealousy, sadness and longing to Kagome's chest.
But now, sitting next to Sesshoumaru, Kagome squealed.
"That's great news! I'm so happy for you both!"
"Congratulations," Sesshoumaru said, his calm and even voice in contrast with Kagome's excitement.
Sango beamed at them, a little sheepish. "Thank you."
Miroku was smiling too, his hand wrapped around Sango's shoulders.
With a rustle of silk, Lady Mother stood up on her dais.
All conversation in the banquet hall quieted, and Kagome and Sesshoumaru turned from Sango and Miroku to regard Chiyo.
"Welcome, friends and allies," Chiyo spoke, her voice carrying through the hall. "Everyone has arrived, so let us begin our celebration of the past year, of our great victory, and of the New Year and the possibilities it may bring."
On cue, the doors of the banquet hall opened, and servants walked in, carrying trays of food.
Kagome extended her hand, linked her fingers with Sesshoumaru's, and settled back into a conversation with Sango as the feast began in earnest.
L-A-L
It had been a full moon cycle since their last visit to Edo for the anniversary of Inuyasha's death, and Sesshoumaru had been growing restless. This morning, as the day dawned beautiful and sunny, Kagome had finally put her foot down and ordered him to get out of the house.
Naturally, he'd offered her the token protest, but she'd laughed at him.
"Go patrol or something," she'd told him and kissed him on the cheek. "Now shoo!"
So Sesshoumaru had done as asked – and was glad for it.
It was a warm day, the air fresh and ripe with the competing floral scents – May was in bloom, the wisteria in their garden resplendent.
And here at last, out in the wilderness, strolling in the dappled sunshine of the forest, he felt a calm settle over him.
Before Kagome had come into his life, he'd regularly been wandering. He'd spent more time away from his clan than with them. He simply couldn't stand staying put for long.
That, of course, had all changed with Kagome.
She'd been so fragile in the beginning. Teetering on the edge, struggling to hold in her grief even as the dam was already cracking. She'd needed him, so he had stayed by her side, restless or not.
Now, however… Now, she was better.
Changed, here and there, from all she'd been through, but better. She smiled and she laughed, and though the grief still overwhelmed her, those moments were rarer, the sadness duller.
But grief or no, Kagome no longer needed him, that was for certain. She'd proven that well enough – after all she'd done when he'd been taken by those moronic monks, handling the clan by herself for one day was a trifle thing.
And yet, when the restlessness had hit him, he'd been reluctant to leave. Even if he wasn't needed, he had wanted to stay. She'd been the one to implore him to leave, after seeing how being stuck in the same old routine had started to wear on him.
She'd grown to know him so well, by now she might in some ways know him even better than his mother or Akie-san did.
A pleasant and light fragrance caught Sesshoumaru's attention, interrupted his thoughts. He followed his nose to a snowbell tree, fully in bloom. The mild wind weaved through the branches, making the clusters of pure white bell-shaped flowers dance above him.
He stared at it, transfixed. It was a lovely sight.
And on the heels of that though, came another: he wished Kagome was here with him, so she could see it as well.
Maybe the next time he had the itch to get away for a while he could take his mate along. After all, it was from his study and the paperwork and the daily grind that he wanted to get away from, not her.
Sesshoumaru nodded to himself.
Yes, he liked that idea. He liked it very much.
For now, though… He stared up at the blooming branches and called on his youki, concentrating it around his feet to form a cloud.
He rose off the ground with a smooth, practiced ease and within a few seconds the flowers were in his reach. With careful but precise flicks of his claws, he gathered several clusters of the delicate white flowers before he let his youki-cloud dissipate.
Sesshoumaru dropped gracefully to the ground and turned back to Tsumekiri.
The walk back was pleasant and quick. He passed through the gate, headed straight towards the house and honed in on his mate's energy.
He found Kagome by her rooms, sitting on the veranda overlooking the garden and surrounded by flowers.
How appropriate, Sesshoumaru mused to himself, even if he hadn't planned for it.
Kagome paused in her work and looked up as he stepped into the room.
"Back so soon?" she asked, one eyebrow arching.
Sesshoumaru shrugged. "The walk served its purpose," he replied, crossing to room to get to her.
He sat down beside her, careful to mind the flowers strewn across the floor around her.
"What a happy coincidence this is," he said, amusement colouring his voice.
"What're you talking about?" Kagome asked, a little distracted as she pondered over the selection. Finally, she picked a tall, purple iris and carefully placed it in the vase before her.
"That you should be arranging flowers," Sesshoumaru answered.
She slanted him a look. "I arrange flowers every week now that there is plenty of material to work with," she pointed out, choosing next a spring of wisteria.
Sesshoumaru leaned in, and dropped the flowers he'd collected in Kagome's lap.
"I came across these snowbells and thought you might like them."
She blinked at the clusters of white bell-shaped flowers in her lap, then looked up at him in surprise.
Her blue eyes were wide and overcome with emotion. When she finally spoke, the words came out in a soft, awed whisper. "You brought me flowers."
Sesshoumaru shifted, irritated at himself for feeling so self-conscious. "Does that please you?"
A brilliant smile bloomed on her lips, more beautiful than any flower Sesshoumaru had come across.
Carefully, Kagome picked up the heap of snowbells and set it aside on the floor next to all the other flowers she was working with.
Then, she moved closer towards him and reached to clasp his hand. "Yes," she replied, meeting his eyes. "Thank you, so much."
She rose to her knees, moved in for a kiss, her lips soft and sweet as they settled against his.
Sesshoumaru's eyes hooded. Such a simple, almost innocent kiss and already his blood was stirring. He responded in earnest, revelling in the intimacy that had become so familiar. He lifted his hand to cradle the back of Kagome's neck, his fingers tangling with her silky hair.
Her hands fisted in the front of his kimono as he lightly nipped at her plump bottom lip before deepening the kiss.
Her small moan was music to his ears, the way she pressed closer to him made his body hum.
Sesshoumaru forced himself to ease out of the kiss, before his desire could override his better judgement.
Much as he would love to have his mate stripped out of her kosode and trembling beneath him, he didn't want to presume too much from her responses to his kiss or overstep.
Kagome sighed and wound her arms around him, letting her head fall to rest against his shoulder. Sesshoumaru held her close and dipped his head to bury his nose in her hair.
He would have to bring her flowers more often.
L-A-L
The rain was starting to pound down harder, and Kagome was rapidly becoming drenched. Despite the warm early evening in August, a shiver ran down her spine as her fingers curled on the handle of the bathhouse door.
Do it, she told to herself sternly, her shoulders tense. You made your mind up last night, didn't you?
Yet, she didn't move – hesitation made her bite down on her lip, nervousness pinched at her belly.
And then, the silence was broken by Sesshoumaru, his deep voice laden with concern.
"Kagome?" he called from inside the bathhouse.
Kagome bit down a curse. He'd sensed her – and now he was worried.
He's not gonna do it, Kagome reminded herself. That much had become abundantly clear in the past months.
Which meant it all rested on her shoulders.
Kagome took a deep breath, and slid the door open with a yank.
Water sloshed, as Sessshoumaru sat up straighter in his bath. He frowned as Kagome stepped into the bathhouse, his golden eyes pinning her down.
"Is something amiss?"
Kagome slid the door shut behind her, her fingers trembling only a little. Then, she turned to face him.
"Everything's fine," she reassured him – as well as herself.
She fumbled with her obi, undid the knots and pulled it off, peeling away the bulky kosode.
"Kagome?" Sesshoumaru asked again, his voice deeper.
She felt the weight of his gaze on her as she started removing her first underkimono.
Water sloshed again, and Kagome ignored it. She couldn't look at him yet, or she'd lose her nerve.
The final layer of clothing undone, Kagome folded her clothes on the low bench near the door and stepped deeper into the bathhouse, gooseflesh erupting across her naked skin.
"Kagome, what are you doing?" Sesshoumaru asked.
The words came out a little choked, which made Kagome feel much better.
She bent to pick up a washcloth and a pail.
"I thought I would join you," she said, starting to scrub herself clean.
At last, she looked at him: a coy side-glance she casted from beneath her lashes. "Unless you mind."
"Mind?" Sesshoumaru asked, his gaze riveted on the washcloth moving down Kagome's legs. "You are most welcome to join me."
A smile bloomed on Kagome's lips. "Good," she said.
This was it, Kagome thought to herself, as she finished washing herself.
No more walking around eggshells. No more nights of frustration.
For so long, they'd both been careful not to cross that one last line they had left – he had probably been restrained by his respect for her, whereas she… She'd been held back by her guilt.
Giving her body to him felt like a betrayal to Inuyasha, which was absurd because her daiyoukai mate already had her heart and because Inuyasha himself had bid Sesshoumaru to take care of her, inadvertently giving his blessing to their union.
She might always carry a bit of that guilt with her, Kagome surmised. But she wasn't going to let it hold her back anymore. Not when this was something that she wanted.
And this careful balance between her and Sesshoumaru, always careful not to overstep could not go on forever.
Something had got to give.
Kagome had to square her shoulders, take that one last step and get what she wanted.
She released the breath she'd been holding and walked over to the wooden edge of the bathtub. Sesshoumaru held out his hand and she took it, leaning on his steady strength as she climbed into the tub.
Still holding onto his hand, she eased into the hot water with a content sigh, her legs brushing against his. The rectangle tub was big enough to accommodate them both – although the fit was slightly snug.
Still, for what Kagome had in mind, that didn't matter.
Meeting Sesshoumaru's eyes at last, she crossed over to him, until she was kneeling between his parted legs.
She leaned in, pressed a kiss on his jaw, on both of his cheeks, on the indigo crescent moon on his brow. Her cheek slid smoothly against his, as she brought her lips to his ear.
"Turn around."
Sesshoumaru's eyebrows rose in question, but he didn't resist or argue, simply inclined his head and turned while Kagome scooted away, giving him room.
Finally, he had his back turned to him. Kagome could feel the hum on anticipation in the air.
Water sloshed as she inched closer to him, as she rose onto her knees in the tub.
Her fingers brushed against his scalp, earning a growl in a response that was so resonant it was almost a purr.
"I decided to forgo the comb this time," Kagome said, her voice a little husky as she started to run her fingers through his hair with slow methodical precision.
"Good," Sesshoumaru replied, his voice gruff. "To what do I owe this courtesy?"
"Your patience," she said, scooting closer as her fingers combed his wet, silky hair. "Your kindness," she continued, her knees brushing against his buttocks.
Slowly, she began to massage his scalp.
"Because I wanted to," she confessed at last, and that was the truth beneath it all.
For a while, they hovered on the edge, lost in the moment.
Then, Kagome braved herself to take leap and leaned in.
She pressed a kiss to the side of Sesshoumaru's throat.
He growled and turned his head, capturing her lips.
Time lost its meaning as Kagome allowed herself to succumb to the sensations: the heat of his naked skin against hers, warming her more than the bath water did; the silky wet texture of his hair, still tangled between her fingers; the insistency of his lips as they moved against hers, the boldness of his tongue as it explored her mouth, coaxed her to respond in kind.
After an eternity, he pulled away, turned around in the tub, and wrapped his arms around her, his hands spanning the small of her back. His golden gaze was heated but serious as he met her eyes.
"Are you sure?"
Holding his gaze, she untangled her hands from his hair, slid them over his shoulders, let them travel down his chest, ghost across his abdomen, tease their way over his hipbones until they finally found their prize.
Her eyes hooded, her lips parted, and the answer came out breathless but firm.
"Yes."
L-A-L
Kagome lit the incense and bowed her head in a prayer as the fragrant smoke curled towards the grey April sky.
She looked up and smiled at the weathered characters, carved on the gravestone in a vertical script.
"Hello, Inuyasha," she spoke softly. "It's been another year."
Amusement flickered on her face, before she continued more cheerfully: "You might notice something different about me this time. I hope you're happy for me. For me and Sesshoumaru."
She slanted a glance towards her current mate, who was keeping a polite distance, to allow her and Inuyasha a semblance of privacy.
"When Obon comes this year, Miroku will hold a memorial service for you here in Edo, since it's been three years," Kagome continued. "I'm sure that will be lovely. Everyone will be gathered around to remember you."
Emotion swelled then, tightening her throat. Kagome fell silent, and absent-mindedly toyed with her hair. It was almost the same length now, than it had been when she had cut it.
Funny, how time passed.
How these three years had gone by.
She thought back to the moment she'd sat in this very same spot, burying her braided hair in the ground so a part of her could always be with Inuyasha.
It felt like yesterday. The grief still found her in odd moments, the memories still sometimes drowned out the present for a fleeting moment.
It felt like forever ago. So much had changed, she had been through such a journey.
She wasn't the same as the girl who had cut her hair back then. And that was all right, that was how it was supposed to be.
Because life went on, and so did people.
Thank you, she spoke to Inuyasha in her mind, her fingers caressing the kanji spelling out his name, for making Sesshoumaru promise to take of me. With him, I've come to learn that love can grow in small moments over time.
It's a different kind of love than the one we shared… she smiled softly at the gravestone. But it can be just as sweet, just as strong.
She pressed her palm against the stone.
"You paved the way for me to be happy again," she said, her voice trembling with gratitude. "Thank you."
Kagome bowed her head, then moved to get up, only to discover she couldn't maneuver herself past the rather awkward pose on all fours. She grimaced.
"Sesshoumaru?" she called out, her voice laced with frustration. "Could you give me a hand?"
Sesshoumaru walked over and gently helped her up.
Kagome groaned and rubbed her heavily swollen belly.
"I am so ready to pop this baby out," she complained.
Sesshoumaru shook his head, but his lips twisted into a wide grin.
"It is only a few more weeks," he reminded her. "The time will pass quicker than you think."
"So says the youkai," Kagome griped, but flashed him a quick smile. "I think you're right – as always. The past three years feel like a blur."
"Some times in life are more eventful than others," Sesshoumaru commented.
"That's true," Kagome murmured. "And something tells me we'll be having very busy times ahead."
Sesshoumaru's hand joined to cover Kagome's, his long fingers splaying against her belly.
He wound his arm around Kagome's shoulders, and faced the gravestone of his half-brother. Compelled by the sight, and the mate standing by his side, he repeated the promise he'd made years ago.
"I will take care of her as long as I live."
Kagome nudged his side. "You'd better live long, or I'll never forgive you."
Sesshoumaru laughed, and leaned in to press a kiss on Kagome's temple. "I shall try my very best then."
"Good." Kagome looked up at him and smiled, gently caressing the swell of her belly.
Her heart, once so terribly broken, was full of love.
