Jacob Have I Loved
Chapter 29
During the eight years following that pivotal day, in which I said my final goodbyes to Jake in La Push, my life was nothing short of uneventful. I continued my high school education, graduating with honors from Sacramento High School as valedictorian, and even broke several records on the track and field team (GO DRAGONS). Mostly, my success on the track was due to my enhanced abilities as a wolf, and it allowed me an outlet to utilize some of those skills in ways other sports or hobbies couldn't.
After high school, I went on to graduate from the University of California at Berkeley with a degree in Environmental Law. I always wanted to help protect the environment, and being a Quileute, respect for the conservation of wildlife and habitats was engrained in our psyche throughout tribal life. With my degree in hand, I obtained an internship with a small firm in Sacramento and began my practice. I guess you could say my life was pretty much set for me at that point in my life, but something was missing. I never really felt that my life was complete, and I hardly felt content in regards to my personal life or more frankly, my love life.
During college, I met and moved in with a fellow law student, Taylor Spencer. Taylor was one of the sweetest men I had ever met, second only to Jake. We shared countless hours together studying our massive law books, relaxing by the TV with popcorn and a movie, jogging in the park together, and spending passionate nights together in our bed. However, I would cry myself to sleep most nights, feeling this gaping, relentless pain in my chest that something was just not right. It was in that year with Taylor that I decided to "give up the wolf" so to speak, and that part of my life was tucked away along with the heartfelt memories of my first love back in La Push. Sadly, our relationship lasted only until the end of that school year.
One day, during a very hectic week at the firm, I received an invitation to Stephenie's wedding, something I had been dreading ever since the day she and her fiancé Collin became engaged. Attending her wedding as her maid of honor meant that I would have to travel back to La Push and unleash those locked away memories once again. With a heavy-weighted heart, I decided to suck it up and packed my bags for the several hour flight to Washington.
Upon disembarking my plane at the Seattle airport, I rented a car, quite similar to the one I had rented to spy on Jake those many years ago, and made my way toward La Push. As I crossed the border into my beloved reservation and home, I noticed that not much had changed over the past eight years. The lush, green forest was exactly how I remembered it—beautiful and majestic; it was as if La Push had been frozen in time and I had never left.
The day of the wedding, I performed the usual maid of honor duties, helping Steph get ready for her walk down the aisle and holding her bouquet while she made her vows. Her wedding took place on the sands of First Beach, and she was marrying a fellow Quileute, Collin Houseman, about three years her junior. I was so happy for Steph; she and Collin seemed to be madly in love.
While they made their vows, Collin's face held the goofiest, lovesick grin I have ever seen. What really made me laugh was when Old Quil Ateara pronounced them husband and wife. Collin picked her up in his arms, cradling and kissing her all the way back down the aisle. Steph didn't even retrieve her bouquet from me, and I just stood there in sheer elation at my best friend's happiness.
Taking the arm of my cousin Sam, Collin's best man, I followed the happy couple as they retreated down the aisle. I couldn't help but notice Sam wink at a lovely, very-pregnant woman sitting in the congregation, but she was not Leah. I remembered Sam saying his relationship with Leah was "complicated," and I guessed they had decided to break it off years ago.
During the reception, which was also held on the beach, I took a much needed stroll along the shore, relishing in the crisp breeze and remembering my times in La Push as a child. My thoughts undoubtedly drifted to Jake, and I wondered why he didn't attend one of our dearest friends' wedding. Just as I pondered these thoughts, I heard the faint sound of someone approaching behind me.
"Jess?" A familiar, husky voice made my heart skip a beat.
I turned around only to behold that wondrous, beautiful face once again. My Jake was standing right in front of me. His face appeared exactly as I remembered it, but his hair had been cut to about an inch above his head. Regardless of his hairstyle, he was still gorgeous in his navy suit.
"Jake." The name caught in my throat, and I had to remind myself to breathe.
"It's great to see you again, Jess." Jake pulled me in for a hug, and the warmth of his body sent me back to those nights we shared together, his arms holding me tight against his chest.
"Same here." I told him as he released me, smiling from ear to ear like an idiot.
"How's life in Sacramento?" Jake asked, returning my grin. "I heard you are practicing law now."
"Yeah, I intern at a firm there—environmental law." I affirmed, staring deeply into his beautiful eyes. I had missed those eyes.
"Well, you always were intelligent. I knew you would be successful someday." The sun gleamed off his face as he spoke.
"Thanks, Jake. How's life been treating you?" I asked, feeling my nervousness begin to dissipate.
"I'm married actually." Jake beamed, looking off at the horizon.
"Really?" My mind immediately pictured him and Bella in their wedding garb posing for their first wedding picture.
"Yeah. Her name is Nessie. She's my whole world." Jake sighed. I had never seen him look so happy as he spoke her name. "We even have a son, EJ."
I was in complete shock at Jake's revelation. I couldn't believe that he wasn't married to Bella. All that crap I went through eight years ago to help him and Bella hook up had been in vain. I cursed Ephraim Black and his ridiculous ramblings about Bella and Jake's "connection" and felt the nausea begin to surge in my stomach. Maybe, I was just hallucinating those many nights ago when Ephraim spoke to me. I felt like digging myself a hole right there in the sand and pulling it on top of me until it suffocated me to death.
"That's great, Jake." I managed to mumble, instantly feeling sick.
"Yeah, we're expecting twins soon as well." Jake's announcement made my stomach pains even worse. I prayed that God would take me now and spare me the agony I was suffering. "But what about you? Anyone special in your life?"
"I'm seeing someone." Those were the only words I could muster enough strength to tell him. Of course, I wasn't seeing Taylor anymore, but I didn't want Jake to know how lonely and not to mention jealous I was at the moment.
"Good." Jake looked back toward the reception. "Look, I have to go, Jess. But a couple of friends are getting together tomorrow for lunch at the Carver Diner. Would you like to join us?"
I followed Jake's gaze and noticed an exquisitely beautiful woman with long, curly reddish-brown hair waving to him off in the distance. A round bump was prominent about her waist. I knew in that moment that she was his wife, his "whole world."
"Ok, sure." I agreed to the lunch date not quite certain if it was a good idea or not. Part of me wanted to just get in my car and head back to the airport right then and there, never to return to La Push again. However, another part of me wanted to see some of our old friends again, and it made me think otherwise.
"Great, see you at noon then." Jake placed a warm hand on my shoulder and then turned to trudge the sand back to the reception.
I looked out toward the ocean completely and utterly saddened by my brief encounter with Jake. Jake had found happiness with his wife and children. When would it ever happen for me?
I waited anxiously in a corner booth at the Carver Diner the next day, twirling the straw in my glass of soda. I looked up at the clock above the counter and noticed it was two minutes to twelve. The nervous knot in my stomach turned slightly, and I knew this might be the longest lunch I would ever have in my life.
Suddenly, I heard the jangling of the bells from the entrance and turned only to see Jake enter with two of our most beloved friends, Quil and Embry. They were slightly more built and burlier than when I had seen them last, but nevertheless, my heart leapt at the sight of my old friends. I had missed them dearly.
At Quil's side was a small girl, probably about the age of ten, clinging to his hand as if he was her father or maybe even her best friend. I thought for a minute that she might be his daughter, but she was much too old, and I remember Quil still being a virgin when I left La Push.
"Jess, you remember these jerks, right?" Jake questioned, a smirk etched across his face.
"Of course, she remembers me. She was madly in love with me once. Right, Jess?" Quil boomed, punching Jake playfully in the stomach.
Plopping down beside me in the booth, Quil nudged me on the shoulder, and I quickly gave him a shit-eating grin. He cackled at my expression as Jake and Embry sat across from us in the booth.
"Quil, can I get a milkshake please?" Quil's petite companion asked, taking a seat at the counter across from us.
"Sure thing, Claire." Quil answered, his eyes lighting up like the sun. He immediately got up from his seat to request a shake from the waiter behind the counter.
"So, Jess, how's Sacramento?" I heard Embry inquire, and I turned my attention back to my two friends.
"Great, Embry. How are things with you?" I asked, looking into his brown eyes.
"Um . . ." Embry loudly gulped, staring at me with the widest eyes I have ever seen. He looked as if he had seen a ghost. "I . . ."
"Embry, are you okay?" I was completely perplexed. Had I said something wrong? Did I have something on my face?
Jake looked up from his menu and noticing the expression on Embry's face began to chuckle.
"Hey, Quil, check it out." Jake called to his friend at the counter, gesturing to Embry.
"Nice, Embry." Quil had twirled around and started laughing as well, making me even more bewildered. "It's about damn time."
"Will someone please tell me what's going on?" I had a feeling there was an unspoken conversation going on, and I was the only one oblivious to it.
"It's a little complicated. Right, Embry?" Jake answered me, perusing his menu. "Right, Embry?"
Embry was as still as a stone statue, staring at me with those bug-eyes. I began to grow extremely frustrated at his rudeness, and I had half a mind to slug him from where I sat.
My exasperated thoughts were soon interrupted by the jingling bells of the entrance to the diner as they rang out again.
"Daddy!" A small, black-haired child came running straight to Jake. He looked no more than a few years old.
"EJ!" Jake exclaimed, practically leaping from the booth and scooping the boy up into his arms.
I realized that the child was Jake's son, and my heart instantly filled with happiness at the sight. The child was extremely gorgeous and had the most haunting green eyes. To my surprise, I didn't even feel one hint of jealousy that the child wasn't mine. Somehow, I knew this child was special.
Behind the boy, the beautiful, obviously-pregnant woman, who I had suspected was Jake's wife on the beach the previous day, entered along with another one of my long lost friends, Leah Clearwater. My Quileute friend was just as breathtaking as I remembered.
"Ness, this is my friend from high school, Jessica Burnside. Jess, this is my wife, Nessie." Jake introduced me to his wife, cradling his son in his arms.
"Nice to meet you, Jessica. I've heard so many things about you." Nessie sat down beside me in the booth, smiling. Something puzzled me about her crooked smile, and she seemed to resemble someone I knew, but I couldn't place my finger on it.
"And this little monster is EJ." Jake introduced his son, tickling him on the stomach. EJ cackled and then waved at me for a brief second.
"Aunt Leah!" EJ squealed in Jake's arms. "Embry imprint on Jess."
Leah and Jake's wife instantly smiled and busted out into a fit of laughter. What the hell did that child mean by "Embry imprint on Jess"? What kind of fuckery is this?
"Great to see you again, Jess." Leah plopped down in the booth beside Embry, trying to quell the imminent laughter from escaping her lips. "Embry stopped staring at Jess. She's going to think you have a crush on her or something."
Another round of laughter erupted around the table, and I felt my frustration beginning to peak. Embry sat there frozen, his attention still fixed on me. What the hell was going on?
Feeling just a bit out of place and uncomfortable, I decided it was time for me to leave. I didn't want to humiliate myself any more than I should, and Embry wasn't helping the situation. My former pretenses about this lunch were becoming a reality.
"Um, if you'll excuse me, I need to go. My flight leaves in three hours." I relayed to the gathering around me as the laughter finally subsided. Embry's face looked instantly heartbroken and pained.
"Sure, Jessica." Nessie slid out the booth, so that I could leave.
"Nice seeing you all again." I stood up from my seat, making my way past Quil to the door.
"Jess, wait!" I could discern Jake's voice calling to me as I exited the diner and headed for my rental car.
"I'm sorry that happened in there." Jake apologized for his friends' behavior as I opened the door to my car. I caught a glimpse of Embry standing in the entranceway to the diner. "That was very rude of us."
"It's okay really, Jake." I sat down in the driver's seat and shut the door. "I just need to get to the airport." I put the key in the ignition, but to my dismay, the car wouldn't start.
"Shit!" I growled in frustration, hitting the steering wheel with my fists, after trying several additional times to start my car.
"Jess, if you need a ride to the airport, I can take you in my truck." Embry was now standing by the car, keys in hand and a smile across his face.
"Yeah, Jess, why don't you let Embry take you to the airport?" Jake chuckled slightly under his breath as he spoke. "I'll take care of your rental for you."
"Ok, whatever." Rolling my eyes, I reluctantly got out of the car only to see Embry run straight to my trunk in preparation to unload my luggage. I popped the trunk for him, and he immediately began transferring my bags to his vehicle.
"It was great to see you again, Jess." Jake pulled me into a hug, but this time I didn't feel the normal exhilarating warmth of his embrace. Something was different now. Maybe, I had finally gotten over him.
"You too, Jake." I smiled at him, watching Embry chivalrously open the passenger door of his truck for me to enter.
"By the way, Embry needs to tell you something on the way to the airport." Jake whispered. "Keep an open mind. He's a great guy."
"Ok." I exaggerated the two letters, my eyebrows furrowing in confusion.
It was going to be a long ride to Seattle.
Attn: I know some of you might be confused because Jess is related to Sam and there is much speculation that Embry is Sam's half-brother. All will be explained in the next and final chapter. Are you ready for it? I'm not sure that I am. *sniff* Thanks as always for reading.
