NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: Comments and encouragement are welcomed and appreciate if you like the story and would like to see it continued. Thanks for reading!
AMY and JAKE
His eyes were open, but he didn't know why. He was surrounded by darkness except for the faint outline of lights coming from the small bathroom in the corner of the surveillance pod. Then he heard the sound of his partner and girlfriend throwing up, yet again. Jake fumbled for his phone, it was seven thirty, almost time to wake up and prepare for their scheduled night shift of surveillance.
Jake slowly stood up and walked to the bathroom door, "Ames, are you okay?"
"Do I have to answer stupid questions when I'm throwing up?"
"Sorry, good point. Can I do anything for you? There, that's a better and more helpful question."
"Not unless you want to switch stomachs, mine is terrible. Still nauseated, it's not fair Jake, not fair."
Jake turned on the lights, which started out dimly, and walked to fridge for a cold soda. He felt bad for Amy, he hadn't thrown up in twenty hours, and she was still going strong. Flipping on the monitors, he was relieved to see empty parking lots and no movement anywhere.
After the night before where they had discovered a dirty cop and the resurgence of a serious gangster, Jake's sleep had been filled with bad dreams about their targets, the Bratva drug organization, discovering they were in the pod and getting rid of them in various ways, all of them bad. Jake took a big drink and started to feel better about things as he saw nothing in the monitors.
Amy came out of the bathroom, "I feel disgusting. If it's okay with you, I'm going to take a shower."
"Sure thing, you can't possibly smell good after all that." He smiled, hoping to get her to smile.
"I'm too tired and sick to hit you for that, be glad." She grabbed some clothes and a towel, then grabbed some things from one of the cupboards, and headed for the shower, which was the closet across from the bathroom.
Jake kept watch over the monitors, still glad that things were quiet for the time being. He felt like time was standing still as he looked at his watch, Amy had been in the bathroom for thirty minutes. The shower was very quiet, for obvious reasons as they were on a stakeout in what was supposed to be an empty storage pod. Another ten minutes went by and he started to wonder whether he should check on her, but then the door opened, and she came out, dressed in leggings and an NYPD t-shirt.
Jake kept a watch on the monitors, "hey Ames, feeling any better?"
"No." She sat down on the bed and put on her slippers, "I'm still feeling terrible. It's…"
Jake turned around when she didn't finish her sentence, "Ames, going to finish that sentence?"
Amy shook her head as if she was bringing herself out of a stupor. "No, sorry. I'm not doing well, but I'll adjust."
Jake kept looking at her, not sure she was actually okay or ready to work, but they needed to watch the monitors at the moment. "Okay, let's watch nothing happen for seven more hours."
Amy grinned, "sounds fun. Did Holt ever email us about Duffy?"
Jake nodded, "yeah, he was picked up this afternoon, selling in Queens. They don't think anyone can suspect him of being spotted here. He hasn't given up anything yet, but Officer Rossi knows of him and his word can help them apply pressure to him."
"Wow, a lot is happening from just one productive hour of surveillance." She leaned back and rubbed her head.
"Ames, lay down if you're not feeling that terrible, I got this."
Amy shook her head, "no, they wanted two sets of eyes on this."
"Do want something to drink or some ibuprofen?"
She bit her lip and looked pensive, "no, I don't think so."
Jake shrugged, "well, I don't' know what else to do…actually, when my mom had migraines, a cold washcloth on the head, and over the eyes helped sometimes." He stood up, Amy reached out and tried to grab him.
"No, don't worry."
Jake looked at her, she looked pale and tire despite sleeping a lot the past day, "I'll get one, if it doesn't work, it doesn't work, but it's worth a shot."
"Okay, fine, it can't hurt."
Jake leaned down and kissed her forehead and headed into the shower room or closet and opened the cupboard by the shower and took out a washcloth. On the floor was a wrapper of some sort, he reached down and picked it up, opened the small covered waste paper basket and as he was dropping in the wrapper, he saw it, one of the pregnancy tests Charles had left with his group of terrifying gifts.
For a second it felt like he couldn't breathe, he finally shook it off and remembered why he had entered the shower. He ran the water, getting it as cold as he could. He held the washcloth under it, then rang it out partially. Before he left the shower closet, he picked up the pregnancy test, he didn't know what the sign was for positive, but he was pretty sure the plus sign had to mean positive.
After taking several deep breathes, he left the shower. He walked the ten steps to the desk where Amy was now seated watching the monitors. Jake held out his hand with the washcloth, "here," he swallowed a few times, "sorry, place this on your forehead, it should help, maybe."
"Thanks, babe." She placed it over her eyes and forehead, Jake shook his head and closed his eyes momentarily and scanned the monitors, relieved nothing was happening. "Is anything happening out there?"
Jake swallowed yet again, trying to put it out of his mind for now, wanting to process it more before talking to her about it, "no, nothing but the wind and New York rats. I wish we could get rid of them." He felt better as he was moving along the conversation, trying to sound like himself.
Amy smiled, the washcloth still over her eyes, "It's crazy, but it would take either an act of God or low-grade nuclear weapon to get rid of them. They'll survive longer than humans will."
Jake exhaled, feeling a little more relaxed, "That is straight up ball shriveling terrifying."
Amy nodded under the washcloth, "I know, and I won't even start on cockroaches."
Jake shivered slightly, his girlfriend's possible pregnancy out of his mind for at least a second, "not as bad as the rats, but still gross. On my very first stakeout, I was working with Terry. My alarm went off, and you know me and getting up, but I was doing my best to be helpful and do my job. Anyway, I was stretching my arms and trying to wake up, wishing I could sleep some more. So, I stretched behind me, with my hand by the headboard at this shitty hotel and on this somewhat terrifying bed. So, my arm is behind my head and I think I feel my hairbrush."
Amy turned her head towards him, but her eyes still covered, "your hairbrush?" She removed the washcloth.
Jake smiled, "well I'm lying there, then I look over at the sink and I see my hairbrush next to my contacts case. I feel really confused, then I bring my hand up slowly, and on my hand was the biggest fucking cockroach I've ever seen in my life."
"Gross, no way."
Jake nodded laughing, "I'm serious. On my fingers was as cockroach this wide and long," he motioned to his fists and with two fingers showed the cockroach was close to the width of his fist. "I got up jumping and yelling, Terry got really mad and was looking scary until he saw the damn monster cockroach and then he did the same thing."
Amy laughed, "and you still prefer cockroaches to rats?"
"Hell yeah, cockroaches are bugs, they're kind of gross and all that, but rats? I watched some documentary with my dad about the black plague and I've hated rats ever since then. Disgusting."
"I agree, but didn't you have mice in your desk at work? So, I've been told anyway."
Jake sighed, "people have big mouths, yes, but mice, not rats, I think, maybe I should have been sketched out by that noise."
JAKE
Several hours passed by, Amy slept off and on, occasionally helping out at the monitors, but Jake tried to act nonchalant and just be supportive. He still didn't want to jump to conclusions partially because this way he could still deny what his brain suspected and partially because he was afraid of how he'd react if he found out the truth after all of his claims to Amy that he was ready to handle real news in and adult fashion.
He was staring at the monitors watching nothing happen when he found himself whistling Cat's in the Cradle. Despite his efforts to not think of it, he was thinking of it now and it was making him nervous. He had never really thought about kids, at all, until Amy came into his life, then it didn't seem impossible, terrifying yes, but impossible, no.
Jake glanced at his phone, it was five, only an hour to go for their mandatory surveillance shift, he sighed as he glanced back to the bed and saw Amy shifting uncomfortably in her sleep. His mind played out different scenarios with what could happen, in none of them did he view himself as being a good father. He worked long hours, he loved his work for the most part. His work was dangerous, Amy's work was the same and she had been through hell, how was a baby going to be brought up in this environment?
As he glanced at the monitors again, where nothing was happening, he thought of what he had Amy do a few times in their time together, a pros and cons list. He took out a piece of paper from the desk and grabbed Amy's favorite pen, she wouldn't have let him use it if she was awake, but it was the best pen. He started writing, making his columns. The cons were easy, their job was dangerous, babies were expensive, he was immature, he didn't know anything about kids, his dad was terrible, he had unresolved daddy issues, their job required a lot of time away from home.
Jake tapped the pen as he thought of the pros, writing the only one that came to mind, the baby's DNA would be one half of Amy's, then he thought of another, Amy would be a great mom. As he stared at the paper, nothing else came to him. His phone vibrated signaling the end of their shift. He didn't feel like moving, so he continued to stare at the paper, after several minutes, he began drifting off.
AMY – earlier in the day
Her head was still throbbing as she woke up just minutes before her shift, nothing was helping, but she wasn't sure if it was being sick or stress related. She got up to throw up, then came out to tell Jake she wanted to take a shower. Before she had gone into the shower, a thought had occurred to her, a terrifying thought. She had not felt great before the chicken related food poisoning, but afterward, she had felt even worse and Jake had bounced back. She wasn't super late for her period, just a few days, but the two things together may not have been coincidental, so she quickly grabbed one of the pregnancy tests Charles had included in his cupboard of terrors without being obvious about it or drawing attention to herself.
Before showering, she did the test and laid it on the small sink in the shower closet. Her shower was much longer than normal as she let the water pour over, trying to think of a sliver lining for all that might happen. She could only picture Jake being disappointed, crest fallen, and terrified. With what they had gone through, she couldn't blame him, but if she was pregnant, then he would have to wrap his head around it quickly, freaking out and running away weren't options for her, so why should he get to.
After ten minutes in the shower, she knew she should exit, they didn't have a lot of water and they would need it for the rest of the week. She exited the shower, drying herself off, she wiped the steam away from the mirror, she looked at herself, then she looked down and saw the pregnancy test, the large plus staring at her told her all she needed to know.
She braced herself, her arms against the sink, bearing her weight as she cried. She wasn't crying because she was angry or sad, but because she worried about Jake. Not quite three months was not a lot of time for one couple to endure what they had, and now a pregnancy. She shook her head as she doubted whether they could weather this storm, it just felt like too much after everything else. Looking down at the pregnancy test again, she decided the best thing to do right now was to wait until she was sure, no sense in freaking out Jake while they were both sequestered in a steel box. She opened the lid on the small waste paper basket or trash can and placed the test inside, normally, Amy would have noticed the plastic wrapper from the test on the floor by her foot, but she was distracted by everything on her mind and left it for Jake to find.
After her shower, Jake asked how she was doing a few times, then kept things light, she was glad for that, but her mind kept screaming at her to tell him, but she couldn't disrupt the stakeout like that, and she wasn't one hundred percent sure how she felt about things, so telling him and seeing his reaction might be more disastrous than it would have been otherwise. Jake was nothing but kind and retrieved a cool damp washcloth to try and help her headache, then they had a light conversation about rats and cockroaches.
If she was still doubtful that she was pregnant, all of her doubts vanished as her body felt exhausted and she knew why, without a doubt. Jake let her sleep while he watched the monitors despite her own protests and worries. Waking up hours later, she looked at her phone, their shift was officially done, she sat up and saw Jake asleep in his desk chair, his feet up on the desk, his head slumped forward. She stood up and walked over to him and saw a piece of paper in front of him.
She wanted to scream when she saw it, a list of pros and cons of having a baby. She wanted to know how in the hell he could have known, but it didn't matter, he knew. Her next question was how long he could have known, and then she remembered him going to the shower for a washcloth, that had to have been when. She smiled as she thought of how good he had been after that, if he truly had known, he was supportive and kind despite his own reservations and doubts dealing with children and becoming a father.
AMY and JAKE
He woke up and felt his shoulder being shaken, he looked up and saw Amy smiling sheepishly at him.
"Hey."
Jake blinked several times, then his eyes found his paper, shit, he thought, she knows he knows. "Hey."
"Sooo…" She didn't know how to proceed, for all they had gone through together, this was different, this was permanent, this was both of them, despite whatever happened in the future, this would tie them together for the rest of their lives. That part didn't bother her, she loved him, but he was a guy, and one who had only recently started to try and be an adult. It was a lot to ask of him.
Jake swallowed, "yeah, sooo…"
Amy took a deep breath, "you don't have many pros on that list."
Jake closed his eyes, this was not how he wanted to let her know he had found out, but there was nothing he could do to change it. "It's a fluid list, it can change as things progress…I…um…fuck it. How are you doing with all of this?"
Amy shrugged, then shook her head, "honestly, I don't know. After our big conversation about kids and family, I know I wasn't pregnant then, but I took a test that night to make sure. I thought we'd have time, you know, have kids on our own terms, but no such luck."
Jake could only nod, "yeah."
Amy leaned over him, wrapping her arms around him as he sat in the desk chair, "okay, now for the scary question, how are YOU doing with all of this?"
Jake swallowed again, "terrified. Terrified, but then my brain reminds me I kept telling you I could handle bad news and discuss things like an adult, so I can't go to my toolbox of behaviors and flip out."
Amy chuckled slightly, "wow, you watch two Dr. Phil episodes with your mom, and you have all sorts of fancy new terms."
"Hey, I'm a legit therapist now. But seriously, I'm freaked, but I love you, and I had a part in this, a great part, the easiest part. So, being mad at you does me no good. I could be mad at myself, but I mean, sex with you is non-negotiable, so nothing to be mad about."
Amy sighed, "this goes way beyond sex though. This is our future Detective. Everything will change, can you handle that?"
Jake remained silent for a moment as he considered everything, "Truthfully, I have my doubts, but more about me as a dad. Can I handle change? Well, it was never a strength, but I have changed a lot in the past few months."
Amy kissed his neck, "I know you have, do you have more in you? This is not an easy change, having a kid."
"Ames, I will have fuck ups, for sure, but I will support you and try to learn as I go. While I was staring at the monitors and as I wrote my stupid pros and cons list…"
"Hey, don't disparage the list, I liked it, it shows you were trying to be logical, even if you are hard on yourself."
"Not the point but thank you. Anyway, I kept thinking about my dad. He sucked, he still sucks, a lot. But the thing about Roger is he never tried. He never tried to not be a male floozy or to try and be a good dad, so I figure I have that going for me."
Amy stood up and turned Jake in his chair, so he was facing her, "hey, that's the biggest thing. No parent really knows what they're doing starting out. My parents had binders and books and my brother still ate dirt, escaped outside, cried a lot. Parenting is something you figure out as you go, every kid is different, every parent is different."
Jake sighed as he looked in the eyes of the woman who would be the mother of his child, or their child. "It's still terrifying, but I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."
Amy smiled, "to be fair, you couldn't go anywhere even if you wanted to."
"True Ames, but you know, right?"
Amy sat on his lap, kissing him gently, "know what?"
"That I love you, that I'll love this kid, whatever it is. I'm way out of my league here, but I'm here."
She kissed him again, then stood up, "you must be exhausted, you haven't gotten a lot of sleep today, or last night, or whenever. Time gets very confusing in this box."
"Yeah," Jake yawned as if on cue, "I am tired. Are you okay though, I mean, you are pregnant. Shit, I've been so worried about what we think about it, how do you feel, physically?"
"Well, I didn't know I was pregnant when it started, but I felt sort of crappy, and then the food poisoning knocked me out, then I started to think about the symptoms, and hat I should have started my period. So, then I did the test and I almost fainted in the shower."
Nodding, Jake agreed, "for sures, it's shocking stuff. What about all your plans? You know, your professional goals."
Amy bit her lip, steadying her emotions, "well, here's the thing. Four months ago, I would have said nothing could come before my career. Then I was sexually harassed, then physically threatened while meeting and shacking up with this guy. Things changed, you became important, we became important, and now this unexpected kid, he or she will be important, my career can still happen, and it will happen, but we will have to make sacrifices at times. We'll have to work together."
"True dat, but some good news for a change, my moms is retired and I'm pretty sure she'd give us free or mostly free babysitting. I'd probably want to give her some scrilla, her retirement isn't much."
Amy shook her head slowly, "I can't believe we're having this conversation. We will have a baby, us."
"Super trippy. It's like Family Man, the Holiday Nic Cage movie where he suddenly is transported to having a family, only he knows he doesn't have a family. It's sort of like that."
"Hate to break it to you Peralta, but this is really happening." She rested her head on his shoulder.
"I know that, but the same amount of tripped out is what I'm saying."
They sat in silence, Amy on his lap as Jake sat in the desk chair, his hands absentmindedly rubbing up and down her sides. "I'm warning you now, my parents will ultimately be happy, but at first they will probably say some mildly offensive things and act angry. Apparently, that's how they process the big moments in my life."
Jake nodded and smiled, "Karen will be happy, mainly because you'll be the mother, not one of the freaks I dated before you."
Amy stood up and took Jake by his hand and gently pulled him to the bed, "get some sleep, we can talk about it more, a lot more, later. You seem good with it though, is that how you really feel?"
Jake laid down and closed his eyes, "sorta, I mean, I am happy, honest, it's just shocking news."
Amy yawned, "yeah, that's how I feel. Of course, I feel like I got hit by a bus between food poisoning and pregnancy."
Jake fell asleep quickly and Amy soon after, when Jake opened his eyes again, Amy was sitting in front of the monitors. "Shit, Ames, why didn't you wake me up?"
"Relax, it's not our shift, I slept four hours and then I was wide awake, I've slept a lot."
"Yeah, but you need it, I'm just lazy."
"Anything actually happening?" Jake stood up and walked to his chair and sat next to Amy.
"There was a delivery truck, it could be legitimate, but it's later than the others have been. I sent Holt the license plate number, he's going to have an officer pull it over when it leaves and look for anything suspicious. The cover will be that a similar truck carrying weapons was reported in the area."
"Smort. I wonder if they suspect us. Things have been extra quiet since the night of two arrests, maybe three. Any word on Nic the Nose?"
Amy nodded, "it's in the email from Holt. They picked him up at the airport, which isn't strange, he is flying with a falsified passport and is wanted in several countries."
"All true, I just worry these guys will realize three people who have been to the factory right across from us have been arrested."
Amy shrugged, "Holt communicated that they would take caution in all arrests to make sure they appear unconnected. None of them were arrested near here. Rossi was arrested at the station, they only know he was arrested for corruption, and everyone is being told it was through an investigation into his financials and telephone calls. Duffy was arrested in Queens, and Nic the Nose was arrested at the airport, all far apart from each other, different officers involved each time."
"I know Holt's been careful, but these guys are good. They don't make a lot of mistakes, if they do, they've cleaned them up, I just don't want that to be us."
Amy frowned, "speaking of which, look at that." She pointed to one of the monitors, "Iev Bratva, he's the younger of the two. Not much is known about either, they stay out of the news and reports."
Bratva walked casually across the street towards the pod, as he reached the edge of the property, he knelt down to tie his shoe. He stood up and walked straight to the pod. "Ames, this can't be good."
Amy nodded, a look of worry on her face. "Agreed."
