Chapter XXVII: Prime Minister's Questions.
1600hrs, 18 November 2013, 10 Downing Street, London, United Kingdom.
"Well Minister, if you ask me for a straight answer, then I shall say that, as far as we can see, looking at it by and large, taking one thing with another in terms of the average of departments, then in the final analysis it is probably true to say, that at the end of the day, in general terms, you would probably find that, not to put too fine a point on it, there probably wasn't very much in it one way or the other. As far as one can see, at this stage." Sir Humphrey, Yes Minister.
"And that's it for today, are there any questions from the cabinet?"
Prime Minister Michael Robinson (PC, KBE, BSc (LSE) (Conservative-Witney)), was finishing one of the routine meetings that were held in the Cabinet Room, Number 10, Downing Street, where the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom and Northern Ireland lived during his (or in Margaret Thatcher's case, her) term.
"Jim, you have a question?"
"Ah, yes Prime Minister," said Sir Jim Hacker, the head of the Department of Administrative Affairs. "I was wondering about the Euro sausage issue."
"Yes, of course…" Robinson was embarrassed constantly by that inane issue over the naming of sausage that came out of Britain. It wasn't that it was bad, just that EU regulations stated that the product coming out of the UK could not be classified as "sausage", like bratwurst or kielbasa. "Look, Jim, you can take care of it. I don't care what you have to do, yell at Brussels for all I care, but just get it resolved."
"Of course."
"Anything else? No? Fine."
He stood up to leave, with everyone else up in the room. The benefits of being the head honcho of one of the most powerful nations in the world…
"Well, that meeting went very well," he said to his Cabinet Secretary, Sir Robert Baiden (GCMG, KBE, MVO). "Do I have anything else scheduled for today?" Usually, the PM would have his private secretary take care of that work, but for this week, Sir Robert was taking up some of the slack as the private secretary had not arrived yet. It was a jarring scene; one of the most powerful men in the civil service playing babysitter to the PM. But hey, the civil service had to keep tabs on the elected officials, and no better way than this.
"Ah, let me see." Sir Robert fumbled around with his tablet computer (he was still getting used to all this technology stuff) and brought up the remaining events for the day. "One last thing. You have the Chief Operating Officer from Nakanishi Group, Europe to come by and talk to you about business in this end of the world."
"Christ almighty, these guys," PM Robinson moaned. "Haven't really dealt with them since the election…"
His shoes clacked on the marble flooring before it turned to carpet, going up to the study.
The PMs before him, like Harold Wilson and Maggie had conducted business in here, as well as Gordon Brown, and had read those "red boxes" full of important information and briefings detailing the situation around the world. Mostly now though, the current PM liked to hold private meetings in there and use it to catch a few hours of shuteye between marathon sessions of running the country.
Robinson would have liked to have a nap now, but the business of running a nation called, specifically Zoisite, the Chief Operating Officer for Nakanishi Group, Europe.
"Mr. Zoisite, please, have a seat," the Robinson said, waving him off as he stood to greet the PM. He still couldn't believe that someone would have a name like Zoisite, after that gemstone. Maybe it wasn't his real name, but he could have picked something less weird, like James Bond or something to that extent.
The two men had a seat by the fireplace, a picture of Margaret Thatcher lording over them like she used to back in the 1980s. Red books lined the walls in their proper bookshelves, like "Who's who, 1981" and several works by Livy. The chandler, Robinson noted, had some lights out. He would have to get some people to fix that some point…and anyway, didn't they switch over to those compact fluorescent lights some time ago?
"Would you care for some tea?" Always the Englishman, tea was practically required as an icebreaker, whether it was accepted or not. "I understand that the Japanese take it differently than us here in the UK."
"Well, I have grown accustomed to your sort of tea," Zoisite replied. "I also enjoy your clotted cream and scones as well."
"Do you want some?" The PM was kind of hungry…
"Uh…sure. I'll take some."
"Excellent." The wife wouldn't like it, but then again, he was the goddamn PM. He could have some scones if he fucking wanted to.
Robinson stood up and walked to one of the doors leading to an adjacent room. A member of the Diplomatic Protection Group stood guard, MP5 in hand, along with Sir Robert, shuffling papers and other documents.
"Sir Robert," the PM said.
"Yes, Prime Minister?" Robert didn't even look up from his paperwork, so engrossed he was in his tasks.
"Can you get someone to send in some cream tea?"
"Right away."
The PM nodded his head in thanks, and disappeared back into the study.
"So, what can I do for you, Mr. Zoisite? I'm sure that this is not a social call."
"You are correct in that line of thinking," he replied with a smile.
Someone knocked on the door.
"Come in," the PM said. The door opened, and a maid came in with the cream tea on a tray.
"Thanks." The maid put the tea and scones on the table near the center of the room and promptly left.
"Help yourself," the PM gestured toward the tray.
"Thank you," Zoisite said, getting up from the seat near the fireplace and making his way toward the table. "Like I was saying, I am here because there has been some holdup of my business operations. Specifically, it has to do with the Home Office."
"The Home Office?" the PM asked, scribbling down notes on a notepad before reaching for a scone. "I'm not quite sure what I can do about Sir Albert, he's really tough now with our new security protocols."
Zoisite took a bite of the scone, which had a generous helping of clotted cream on it. He relished the taste in his mouth before speaking his mind. "It has to do with our shipping businesses."
"Shipping?" The PM was a little confused by that statement. He took a bite of the scone with clotted cream on it. "I thought Nakanishi was only involved in Tech and Banking."
"You are correct, but in the last couple of years, we're trying to expand our operations. Shipping is one, food is another."
"Food?" Robinson looked down at his scone, wondering if that was why the catering had changed all of a sudden here.
"Indeed. Combined with the Shipping Industry, we can have a whole new market open to us, along with our security contractors."
"Wait a second, slow down." The PM stopped taking notes for a second and sat back in his chair at the table, taking a sip of tea. "How much has Nakanishi expanded in the last year? This has all changed since the election."
"Understandably so," Zoisite replied, getting out his iPad. He swiped it open, then accessed a list of stats and figures. He handed it over the PM.
Robinson took a look at all of the information handed him. "What the…heavy industry in Korea? Agro-business in America? Security Contractors? You certainly have been quite busy since I last saw you."
"Indeed. And I know that I asked you for a favor back in the election, when your poll numbers were sagging a bit."
The PM sighed a little bit. He knew that this was going to come back and bite him in the ass, but in the competitive world of politics, you had to pick your poison carefully. At least Witney, his home constituency, had gotten a huge windfall in terms of investment from the Nakanishi Group.
"Alright, what exactly do you need?"
"The Home Office has been stalling for some time, the entry of our containers to the United Kingdom, stating that they pose a risk of a terrorist attack."
The PM almost spit out his tea on that one. "What?!" he said in disbelief. "As opposed to the other couple of thousands of containers that come into the country every day? That's incredibly stupid."
"Indeed, Prime Minister. The Home Office wants every container with the Nakanishi logo stopped and inspected because of that reason." Zoisite was calmly sipping his tea, as if in a conversation with an old friend, rather than the leader of the UK.
"I can't understand why they would want to do that." The PM was now writing down notes to himself on how to deal with the situation, what he would say to the Minister of the Home Office. "I just was in a meeting with all of them, and Sir Albert did not even mention that when he brought up issues affecting his department."
"Perhaps he has a grudge against my company," Zoisite suggested.
"I highly doubt that," the PM replied, still writing down notes. "He's not the sort that would hold a grudge. Have you tried to speak with the Home Office?"
"I have, personally, and I have gotten nowhere in talking with Sir Albert or any other people in the department."
"I'm sorry to hear that," the PM said.
"Be that as it may," Zoisite continued, "The Home Office has some sort of issue against my company, and I wish it to stop immediately."
"I will look into this right away," the PM replied. "I am sorry that you have experienced difficulties in doing business in our country."
"It's just the way things are," Zoisite said. "Thank you for your help."
He stood up to leave, as did the PM. "My pleasure," he replied, shaking Zoisite's hand. It was icy cold, even though moments before, he had been holding a hot cup of tea.
"Prime Minister." Zoisite left the room, watched very carefully by several of the guards.
"Sir Robert," the PM said after Zoisite had gone. "Please contact Sir Albert and tell him I wish to see him at once."
"Prime Minister," Sir Robert replied. "Sir Albert has left for his residence and won't be back until tomorrow."
"Then get him on his mobile then," the PM insisted. "This is very urgent."
"Right away," Sir Robert said stoically. He dialed the number on the office phone for Sir Albert's government issued mobile, and within a minute he had picked up the phone.
"Yes, this is Sir Robert, the PM wishes to have a word with you." Sir Robert handed the phone over to the PM.
"Hello, Alfie? I just need a moment to clear up an issue with you."
Sir Alfred Russell was sitting in the back of his chauffeured car, looking very annoyed that the end of his very long day was going to be pushed back that much further.
"What would that be?" he replied. "I told you, there was nothing I could do about the drugs issue in Liverpool, we can't stop them if we get more funding, to which you've actually cut the budget of the police force there!"
"It doesn't have to do with the drugs trade," the PM replied, giving an equally annoyed look to his cabinet secretary, who was listening in on the other line.
"Then what is it then?"
"I've just had a word with the COO of the Nakanishi Group and…"
"Now stop right there," Alfie said, cutting the PM off. "That's none of your business."
"Why didn't you mention the problems between Nakanishi and the Home Office during the meeting today?!" Robinson shot back. "Alfie, I need to know about these problems or else I get very angry people clogging up my schedule, and I already have to deal with plenty of those every day."
"You have a conflict of interest with the Nakanishi Group, and too long have I seen the undue influence of that infernal company take hold over this nation," Sir Albert replied vehemently.
"I beg to differ," the PM replied. "This is the first time in three years that someone from that company has talked to me."
"And that's my point!" the Home Secretary replied. "You should have never accepted help from them in the first place."
"I didn't have much choice back then," the PM somberly said. "I needed the votes."
The Home Secretary scoffed at that comment. "Really now? You would have secured a win if you had just formed a coalition with…"
"That's enough about my election," the PM said, his voice become louder and louder. The guards in the room looked uncomfortably at each other; it was going to be one of those conversations.
"Fine. The reason why I had the Nakanishi Group's shipments halted and inspected is because I feel like they are being used to smuggle in equipment for terrorist groups here in the United Kingdom."
"And what proof do you have of that…?" the PM asked, extremely skeptical of the Home Office Minster.
"Look," Sir Albert replied. The car was now stopped in the infamous traffic jams that London was known for. And the no car zones, coupled with the congestion fee…well, let's say some routes that people took made life difficult for those who lived on those specific roads. "I had the officer in charge of the Counter Terrorism Command, Stuart Nelson, from the Met that told me that weapons shipments were being loaded into Nakanishi containers and that they had found evidence of these weapon-loaded containers in several gun crimes in Central and East London. There also may be stockpiles of weapons located throughout London in these containers after they have been delivered to their locations, mostly construction sites."
"Do they have the guns? Or these supposed containers at all?" The PM was not going to let mere speculation stop business as usual.
"Ah…well…" the Home Secretary hesitated. "I have my suspicions but…"
"Sir Albert," the PM said, wanting to put an end to this conversation. "Do you have a reason at all for preventing Nakanishi's shipments in this country, stopping valuable trade and commerce, or are you just being daft?"
"Prime Minister," the Home Secretary replied. "I have the authority under the Terrorism act of 2006 to at least act upon suspicious organizations that might be aiding and abetting terrorist activities."
"And so, the Nakanishi Group is going to risk all of its international business reputation helping terrorists run weapons into the UK? Tell me how that makes any sense at all, Home Secretary."
The Home Secretary finally gave up. The car lurched forward for a second, keeping in line with the traffic. "Alright Prime Minister, you win. I'll release the hold on the Nakanishi containers, but I will be keeping close tabs on all their activity."
"You do that," Robinson replied. He hung up the phone, glad that situation was over with. He dialed the number for the Nakanishi Group European office in Bishopgate Tower. He didn't have Zoisite's mobile, but he did have his office phone number.
"Chief Operating Officer's office, this Shilpa speaking," a CSR person answered.
"Uh, yeah, I have a message for Mr. Zoisite," the PM said. "Tell him that his problem with the Home Office has been resolved and that he can continue business as usual."
"Of course. Who is this message from?"
"The Prime Minister," Robinson said, without a hint of irony.
"Oh…of course Prime Minister," was the surprised response. "Thank you for your call."
"You're welcome."
With that, he ended the call.
"I hope you know what you're doing," Sir Robert told him after he hung up.
"So you have secrets now too?" the PM joked with the Cabinet Secretary.
"We all have skeletons," he said very seriously in response.
The PM stopped fooling around and looked at him.
"I suppose you would know, seeing all the politicians you've worked with over the years here in Number 10."
"Indeed," he replied, shuffling the last of the paperwork on his desk.
"What's your take on this Nakanishi Group then?"
"Are you sure you want my opinion?"
"Yes."
Sir Robert sighed, putting his briefcase on the desk, along with his tablet computer.
"I don't trust the Nakanishi Group on bit here, especially in here in Europe."
"Is it because they're Japanese? Or…?"
"Not at all; we do business with plenty of foreign companies, American, Chinese, Japanese, Indian, Korean, the whole lot of them. The problem is that their expansion has come in a time when the Japanese economy as a whole, is doing incredibly bad. Expansion of their operations has grown massively, from just technology and banking to food, transportation, shipping, you name it, they're into it nowadays. And I don't think anyone realizes the rate of expansion; not even the Americans. I heard that the Nakanishi Group has a huge voice in the American government, squashing out even the largest corporations there."
"So you have a problem with big corporations then?"
"Again, I do not. My problem with Nakanishi is that they're acting completely off-base than everyone else on the global market. From my perspective, at least, a non-state entity is in control of international trade rather than the government, and the government seems to be subservient to the whims of that corporation. Perhaps a form a reverse mercantilism, but I doubt that."
"Uh…" The PM was somewhat confused by his Cabinet Secretary's comments on economic theory, even though he did go to the LSE (and got a third class honor). "Look, I don't think it works that way. Are you trying to say that the Nakanishi Group is basically practicing its very own form of Neocolonialism?"
"Please," Sir Robert said. "I'm not trying to be that complicated, and colonialism has nothing to do with this. All I'm trying to say is watch your back when it comes to them."
"Did you have to drag it out that long?" The PM said, exasperated by the long-winded explanations that he gave out when he was trying to justify one of his statements. Probably a side effect of going to Oxford (Balliol College).
"Certainly Prime Minister," he replied, standing up from his desk and preparing to leave for the day. "Now excuse me, I have a meeting with all of the other Permanent Secretaries for dinner and I don't want to keep them waiting. If you would kindly excuse me; you know how to get in touch if you need anything."
He left the room, leaving the PM scratching his head at all the "advice" he was getting nowadays. Both the Home Secretary and his Cabinet Secretary were being extremely secretive, Nakanishi had suddenly taken interest in him, and of course, with the elections coming up next year, the pressure was on him to improve the economy more…
The PM sighed and exited the study, going back to his office for another long night of paperwork and phone calls to leaders around the world.
