Midna's 'miracle reconstruction plan,' as I recalled terming it a day ago, when the debacle first began, ended up far more amusing than anticipated. As Link put it, the two of us were simply too incompetent to do anything other than tinker with the broken bits of the smashed cannon, and thereby incapable of reconstructing it – leaving darling Midna to first stare incredulously, then work her crazy shadow magic on the pieces out of "sheer necessity." She managed to drag the entire thing outside to a small cliff top above the spring, which was where the three of us happened to be standing now, each of us with tired, blank expressions and dusty, callus-ridden hands. It had been a disgustingly long day, and that was not even counting the attack this afternoon.
Yeah, this afternoon, when we got ambushed by a couple of Midna's cousins and a few Imperial Guards because Dragmire always kept his promises and I'd dawdled around too long here. After waking up in the healer's house with an impressive bandage around half my head, I discovered that, immediately after shouting a warning to Midna and nearly taking out Link's eye with an arrow, I had rather brilliantly been struck with something flat and heavy, knocked from the ledge above the spring we'd been standing on, and left for dead in the middle of the magical pond in which, thankfully for me, it was quite impossible to drown. Link, on the other hand, had managed to take out half the guard before being forced to transform into his handy little lupine form and ripping the shadows to bits; of course, he only sustained minor injury. Midna still wasn't impressed with my performance, and seemed to be on the verge of requesting that I practice dodging things for future reference.
…Despite the fact it was mostly your fault for not paying attention to what was behind you, and instead focusing a little too closely on the reflection in the magical pool.
'That is a valid point, you know.'
You're doing a fantastic job as my conscience, Zelda.
She smiled. 'I do try.'
Conscientious observations aside, the colors were fascinating, and lunch had been spectacular – minus the barely edible mystery bread and equally horrific soup, prepared by the one and only capricious Beth. Incidentally, the woman arrived early this morning, sometime before dawn, and some while after Link decided to embark on a raucous nightmare involving Zant, Midna and an octorok. After stumbling half-asleep and disoriented from the shared room, I'd caught the frantic messenger in the front hall, the darling woman I would soon know as Beth in tow – the same "Aunt Beth" I'd never actually met.
Right off the bat I wrote her off as someone I wanted to avoid. She was a heavy-lidded, middle-aged woman with provocative gestures and stylish clothes. She must have been used to demanding things and getting what she wanted, because as soon as I appeared – quite by accident – she tossed her coat at me and demanded to see Link, despite the fact that it was incredibly late and she'd already managed to insult me with the second words out of her mouth: "Oh, what a quaint little servant. What spell did they use on you, I wonder?"
Just for that, I despised her. I was in no way a servant, and the fact that I had been mistaken for some spell or glamour or something just added insult to injury. It was like she'd told me I didn't exist anymore in any acceptable capacity. The woman didn't even wait for me to surface from the shock, either; instead, she'd taken a seat at a couch and spread herself out like she owned the place. Minutes later, before I could warn him, a disheveled Link appeared reluctantly, still clad in nightclothes and cold sweat and a ghostly pallor. I assumed that he wasn't exactly thrilled with her appearance either, given his stiff posture, and Midna – she just looked livid from her place in his shadow. That should have been my first clue that our cover had been blown by the well-intentioned Luda.
I had Beth pinned as a vain idiot. True to form, the flirting exploded as soon as her eyes found him, and I really felt for sorry for the guy – felt sorry and sympathized and respected him for sitting there wordlessly and just letting her fawn all over him. Her questions were downright painful. Hell, she was downright painful – and she kept touching him – his arm, his shoulder, his face. Like she couldn't believe he was there. I couldn't believe he was still there. And I wanted it to stop, for her to go away. He looked lost. Then about an hour in, I fell asleep in my hiding place, up in the rafters, because Midna had made it clear that I shouldn't have shown myself in the first place, even it had been an accident. Besides, from up there, we had a perfect view of all entrances and exits, and a golden opportunity to pounce on the late-night caller in case of attack. The way the house was organized, the hallways that led to the infirmary and upstairs to the shaman's quarters led off from the main circular room that also contained the hearth and kitchen. So, poised overhead in the shadows that no one ever bothered to look at, we had a perfect angle. No one ever looked up. Little Miss Beth could try to eat him, after all. I honestly wouldn't put anything past her and those madly batting lashes of hers.
She left by noon – albeit, only after a few less-than-subtle hints from Luda, and after Beth absolutely insisted on cooking something. As soon as her coat whipped out of sight and the door shut again, Link and I had gone out to the cliff top over the spring for a proper lunch in the sunshine, but not long after, Midna's cousins came by for a party and forgot to bring the cake. This was where I'd called out for darling Midna, and instead gotten knocked over the edge into the pretty pond I'd been staring at for the past twenty or so minutes prior. And as if none of that was enough, shortly after I regained consciousness Midna demanded that we go out and work on the goddesses-damned cannon, up on same ridiculous cliff top I'd fallen from, with rusty, broken tools, and no logical plan whatsoever – just one of her, "Well, do something!" orders. Obviously, the facts that we had already been found by one of Link's old friends, attacked by a band of reconnaissance soldiers, and flagged by yet another shadow portal, didn't support the idea of simply moving the goddesses-damned cannon to somewhere more secluded. Logic didn't work with her, apparently. We should have guessed.
But we didn't. And going over the day did not make me feel any more accomplished, or any less exhausted. I felt like I'd been beat around the face and neck with a heavy club AND a sack full of rupees. Judging by Link's crossed arms and constant twitching, I safely concluded that he shared my feelings. Midna just hovered nearby looking smug as usual.
It was getting chilly up on the ledge, my arm hurt again from the added trauma of construction, no one was saying anything, and Link looked about ready to harass someone with the blade of his sword for breathing on him too hard. I was kind of tempted to, just to see if any injury sustained from such an attack could grant me a bed-rest order. "Okay. So we did it." You've always had a knack for stating the painfully obvious. He grunted, apparently displeased with my vocalization. To compensate, I added somewhat lamely, "What now?"
Midna huffed exasperatedly, as if our next move were hopelessly obvious; I watched with vague fascination as she flailed her arms around, muttering distractedly, "I don't know, Link, maybe we should, you know, use the damn thing." Her body hung suspended, like a puppet. I felt too drained to make a witty comeback. Then I remembered how ridiculous that sounded and sat down heavily to cradle my bad arm and brood about how to bring up the whole leaving thing.
Link fff'd at her, a response that was met with a penetrating glare. She looked at me next, but I had shut my eyes just as her head turned, and laid in the dust pretending to ignore her. "Don't just lie there. Din, but you are so useless-"
"I'm tired. In case you've forgotten, you dragged me off my recovery bed to finish this thing."
"You're no help."
Somebody's still grouchy.
"So you've said. Actually," I quipped instead, an afterthought occurring that I would probably regret later, "there's no way we can face anything if we do get to wherever we're going, since we're all so damn tired. I'm saving you a bit of trouble. I'm saving you-" Yawn. "-the breath you would be wasting by yelling at us for being inattentive in the event of an attack." She just growled, a gesture that was renewed after Link followed my lead; I could hear the faint rustlings as he stretched out in the dirt and mussed his hair. I couldn't see the face she was making anymore because I refused to look, but I didn't think I particularly wanted to see her expression. This was Midna, after all, and I felt like I had a right to be bitchy after being forced to piece together a massive ramshackle weapon after being pushed off a fecking cliff.
With slightly more force than before, the situation hit me again. And I didn't like it. We were loitering on an exposed ledge amidst the rising stars, and with a deactivated shadow portal hanging ominously over our heads. Down below in the cemetery laid the remains of what we'd decided were reconnaissance soldiers; they had been a small squad of about fifteen, reinforced with two shadow beings. She'd said we'd shoot ourselves into the sky – and I could tell by the numerous apprehensive glances secretly shared with Link that neither of us hoped she was serious.
What else was I supposed to think, when she suggested floating around in the clouds? It was just unnatural – and considering my earlier escapade involving heights, I didn't have the best of luck with high places and safe landings. Link didn't look especially keen about the trip either, but I could tell just by his lack of serious opposition that he trusted her beyond anything, and would follow her to the ends of the earth and back, even if it meant leaving the ground for a little while. At least, I hoped it was a little while – because I happened to trust him, for some unfathomable reason, and by transitive property, it meant that I had to go along with some of the more hare-brained schemes. …Despite the fact I had now descended to 'Third-Wheel' status, which, in my hopeful opinion, relieved me of having to strictly follow whatever Miss Shadow-fiend said. That was for Link to handle, and for me to reluctantly nod at, and hope that I wouldn't get myself killed in the no-doubt irritating process.
As soon as I blinked my eyes open, she pointed at the end of the cannon where a crude clawshot target in the form of loose netting was just visible. I stared, and Link actually asked, "R-really?" from our spots on the ground, because if she thought we were going to just crawl inside a contraption that we had jumbled together after a long night and an even longer day, then she was sorely out of luck. Apparently, launching ourselves from a cannon and its euphemism, 'leaving the ground' were not interchangeable. I had a terrible feeling about this. I could also sense a door opening somewhere.
"Really," she snapped, tossing handfuls of dust at us. I didn't think her gesture was spectacularly persuasive in any sense, but the dirt shower wouldn't let up until Link moved. He, however, turned onto his stomach and pulled his hat down, clearly uncooperative. "Lazy bum. C'mon, move. We have to leave now. Your pockets are full to bursting with new supplies – we've already overstayed our welcome. Just look at yourselves, with all the bandages and bruises."
"This is my exact argument against doing anything," I retorted, sitting up and making nasty faces at her. "I feel like I got run over a couple times by a – by a… I have no idea!" Throwing up my hands, I turned so that my back was to her, and crossed my arms in a pout. "I'm not going. I'm not climbing into that piece of junk, I'm not shooting myself into oblivion… I'm tired-!"
I never expected her hair to hit me full in the face, nearly nudging me over the cliff. Again. If you want to kill me, can't you pick a more creative way? "Get up and stop whining." Needless to say, Midna looked livid, though Link's expression seemed almost encouraging to me, with his almost-grin and raised eyebrows. When he abruptly walked away from the scene, I felt like I was just waking up to a terrible reality. "Get up. You either come with us and actually do something useful for yourself and everyone involved, or you stay here and act as decoy – until Zant finds you or Ganondorf kills you or- Argh!" Mouth open slightly, I watched with sick fascination as she threateningly wielded her ponytail again, simultaneously growling, "Get in the goddesses-damned cannon. I have saved your ass too many times to let you kill yourself now."
"'I have saved your ass too many times… nah-nah-nah nah-nah!'" I spat back at her. If she wanted to embark on one of her mind games, I was not in the mood to play along like my usual foolish self. Tired and sick and kind of hungry and stuck out on a chilly cliff top and beaten from a fall and my supposed-friend- "Yeah, like you initially didn't have any involvement in the stickier situations-"
"Stop acting childish!" We both turned briefly at Link's startled yelp, but she immediately continued with barely-controlled fury. "You're one to talk, you reckless fool! I'm trying to help you- We're trying to accomplish something here, and you're not helping by repeatedly standing in the way-"
Standing, I moved so that we were eye-to-eye. "If you want me to leave," I bit back, "say the word and I am gone. I have a bad-"
"But that's just the thing!" Shouting now, she raised her hands and shook them, then balled them into tiny fists at her sides. "Neither Link nor I want you to leave. Goddesses, but you can't leave, not now! We've come too far, and- GODDESSES-DAMN IT, LINK!" I turned away in alarm, but she was addressing Legit Link, who had, upon disappearing, shot himself inside in a curiosity-induced lapse in judgment, and realized a moment too late that he was stuck. Now, I could just barely hear the muffled grunts and distressed growls coming from the barrel. Midna, conveniently distracted and seemingly willing to drop our argument, hovered in front of the clawshot target to admonish the rogue adventurer.
Accordingly, I started walking away, and made no more than two steps when the imp rounded on me with a deafening, "GET IN THE CANNON, OR SO HELP YOU GODDESSES I WILL-!" I had two choices in that moment: walking away and vanishing into the gathering dusk and probably dying somewhere alone, undoubtedly at Dragmire's hands, or I could get into the cannon and fly away. Should I stay or should I go?
'GO!' I actually flinched at Zelda's force. 'You held on for me once, and never for a moment did I entertain the idea of abandoning you in that terrible dungeon.' Groaning quietly, I imagined a hopelessly beautiful, radiantly faceless girl leaning towards me earnestly. 'I understand the difficulty, and I see your intentions, but your becoming a martyr only benefits Ganon. I ask you now to trust me again, Link. Stay. If not for yourself or for Hyrule, then for me; stay.'
Why'd you play the guilt card? For Nayru's sake, Zelda. That isn't bloody fair.
In her little corner, I could feel her smiling that damned soft, steely smile of hers that I wished for all the world to be able to see. 'If you left us, you would be utterly alone save for sporadic communication. I can maintain our link through the Triforce, and your proximity. Despite my wishes, my magic only stretches so far in this form.'
"You make it sound like a cult."
"What did you say to me?"
Midna's ponytail rose threateningly, but I just shook my head, grinning slightly. Holding up my hands and rising reluctantly, I twisted around to gesture at the healer's house. "Okay, okay. You win. I'll get into your cannon and fly away with the village idiot and your lovely little self-" I heard a distinct shout here from the dearly beloved village idiot. "Fine– But good to know you won't even say thanks to what's-her-face down there. How rude, Midna." Clearly unamused, she just bared her teeth in a muffled, "Bite me," before arranging her shadow inside the cannon with Link. I stood beneath them, just staring at Link's look of muted horror (mixed with Get-Inside-Now-or-Else daggers) and Midna's impatient scowl. In shadow form, and seriously regretting my actions, I moved to join them – and in a sudden whirl of color, my eyes were watering and someone was shouting and there were effing clouds up here- and then I saw paving stones and screamed bloody murder because Zelda this is all your fault!
