Almanzo and Laura Wilder have unwelcome honeymoon advisors.

"Wakey wakey, Mr. Wilder."

Almanzo groaned into his pillow. "G'way." He muttered.

"Wake up, Mr. Almanzo."

Almanzo turned over, covering his head with his pillow.

"Rise and shining, Almanzy. Wake up, Almanzo Wilder!"

Finally unable to resist the persistant voice, Almanzo, groaning and muttering all the while, finally pushed the pillow away from his face.

"GRAUGH!" Almanzo screamed when he saw the grinning face of Adam Kendall above him.

"Hello brother!" Adam greeted him, lunging forward to hug Almanzo.

Seeing this, Almanzo panicked and rolled off the bed away from Adam, leaving the brown-haired man with an armful of pillow.

His was not the face Almanzo wanted to see first thing in the morning.

Adam momentarily floundered on the bed before recovering himself, bouncing up and turning to Almanzo.

"So, how was your first night as a married man?" Adam asked.

"Highly disappointing." Almanzo responded. "Mary is extremely fortunate to be blind. So she doesn't have to see your face every morning!"

Adam looked as though Almanzo had failed some sort of high standard.

"I'm going to pretend you never told a 'your face' joke..."

"What are you on about?"

"Never mind...Anyway, since Laura and Mary are off doing sisterly talking no doubt, I wish to share my experience and knowledge with my new brother! I haven't ever had a brother before..."

"I'm not your brother, I'm your brother-in-law. Twice removed. We needed two marriages to be related." Almanzo interjected.

Adam was not to be deterred.

"Well, I suppose Albert is also my brother in law, but for some reason we don't really get along too well."

"I feel the same way about you."

"Oh, Almanzo, but we put you up for the night where you had no where else to go." Adam said, shaking his head sadly.

"We could've stayed in hotel. I'm wishing we had." Almanzo responded.

"I'll bet you are." Adam responded, smirking.

Almanzo tried to give Adam a look of impending doom, but the effect was wasted on the blind man.

"So, the big question arises!" Adam declared, looking like a cat that caught a canary. "What's happening with the honeymoon?"

"Erm...We got married so quickly that I'm not really sure..."

"Making it up as you go along, eh? My favourite!"

Almanzo scratched the back of his neck. "I think I'll have to speak to Beth about anything..."

Adam grinned happily at Almanzo. "Well, Mary and I had an excellent time on our honeymoon."

"That's nice..." Almanzo replied distractedly, thinking of various ways he and Laura could spend their honeymoon.

"Wait a moment..." Almanzo said, frowning deeply at Adam. "You and Mary were running the blind school in Winoka. When did you find the time to honeymoon?"

"We didn't actually leave anything. We can't see anything, so it doesn't matter where we were, we were still honeymooning. Get it?"

"I suppose so..." Almanzo muttered. 'Confound those confusing Kendalls!'

"Well, I'd have a great time anywhere with Mary." Adam told Almanzo with the most horrifyingly sappy look on his face.

Almanzo was most terrified. He accidentally ran into the closet.

"Help me Beth! Save me..." Almanzo moaned pitifully, clawing at the closet walls.

/./

"Good morning Laura." Mary said to her sister as she opened the curtains.

Light flooded the room, glowing on Laura's closed eyelids.

Laura fluttered her eyes open.

"Oh, hey Mary."

Mary smiled at Laura. "How was your sleep?"

"Okay, I suppose."

Laura rose up from the bed. Mary paused, then spoke to Laura.

"I'm sorry that we couldn't find a room for you and Almanzo to share."

Laura shrugged. "Doesn't matter. It's just one night."

Laura pulled on her dress. "I'd best see if Almanzo's up."

Mary's expression was unreadable. "He should be."

/./

Mary could not have been more wrong. Almanzo Wilder was on his knees in the closet, begging for Laura to come and save him from Adam, who thought the whole situation was entirely amusing.

"Almanzo, get out of the closet. No, I didn't hide Laura in there. Yes, she's probably coming up here right now. Correct, if she sees you in the closet she'll most likely doubt your sanity and divorce you on the spot."

Almanzo flew out of the closet as Mary and Laura entered the room.

"Not so true Adam. I seriously doubt yours all the time, and we're still married." Mary told him. "Have you been bothering Almanzo?"

Adam smiled at Mary, which quite alarmed Laura. "Nope, just giving some friendly advice."

Laura ran over to Almanzo, who wrapped his arms around her and embraced her like his life depended on it.

"It was so bad Beth, I couldn't see an end to the torture."

Laura rubbed Almanzo's back in a comforting manner. It's okay Manly, I'm here, it's over..." She said soothingly.

Mary stopped glaring in Adam's direction to turn to Almanzo.

"Don't worry Almanzo, Adam just likes his little jokes."

/./

Feeling emboldened by the arrival of Mary and Laura to counteract the effects of Adam Kendall, Almanzo had recovered from the trauma enough to go downstairs with the other three to breakfast. Adam and Mary went off to help prepare the student's food, while Almanzo and Laura ate with Charles and Caroline, who had also stayed over.

/./

Adam and Mary arrived in the small kitchen at last. Charles, who seemed quite amused with Almanzo's quivering - he assumed that it meant Almanzo was frightened of the father of the bride.

Adam spoke up to Charles and Caroline.

"Charles, where did you and Caroline go honeymooning?"

"We couldn't really afford a trip. We didn't go until years later. Why do you ask."

Adam inclined his head towards Almanzo and Laura. "We're trying to figure out options for the Wilder honeymoon."

Laura spoke up to Almanzo. "I don't mind waiting, Almanzo, if that is what we need to do."

"Nonsense." Caroline spoke up. 'My daughter will have a honeymoon." She declared.

"Caroline's right." Adam spoke up. "There are plenty of options for those with fiscally responsible attitudes."

Almanzo couldn't help himself. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you know some of the popular honeymooning destinations - the boarding houses and motels rack up the prices because they are so popular with newlyweds."

"So...avoid the popular destinations?" Almanzo asked.

"Not necessary at all. All you need to know is the tricks of the trade."

"Niagara Falls isn't too far from here. And it's quite beautiful - from what I've seen from slides, that is." Mary told them.

"But it's a very popular destination" Laura pointed out. "The prices should be through the roof."

Adam nodded. "So you don't go and sleep in a hotel..."

Seeming to sense everyone's questioning gaze on her, Mary shrugged as if to say "I've got no idea what he's on about."

"The Canadian's have a checkpoint there – due to the large amount of people who come to the area, so it shouldn't be too hard to get a temporary visa."

"Why? Are the prices cheaper in Canada?" Charles asked.

Adam shook his head. "Probably not Charles, but that's not what you need to know. Simply, all you need to do, is buy or make a canoe, set it off on the river at dusk, and sleep in that."

"Erm…" Almanzo said, apprehensively. "The falls…"

"Oh, yes, that's what the fun part is. A watery death could be just around the corner."

Almanzo scooted his chair away from Adam, looking quite alarmed at his insane brother-in-law. "No way…no way." Almanzo muttered, quite afraid.

Laura reached over to Mary, who was seated next to her.

"Can you help him, Mary? Please!"

Mary smiled reassuringly at Laura. "Don't worry, Mrs. Wilder. I will be able to help your husband."

And with Charles, Caroline and Laura watching closely, Mary got up, walked around the table, and stood behind Adam's chair. Almanzo, sitting next to Adam, looked at her, beseeching her to rescue him from his tormenter.

"Almanzo is absolutely right Adam, it is a ridiculous idea." Mary then turned to Almanzo. "Laura sounds like a locomotive when she snores so you'll feel like you're going over Niagara Falls the whole night. You'll never get any sleep. Good choice Almanzo." Mary pattered his shoulder approvingly.

Charles's upper lip quivered in amusing while Caroline's mouth hung half-open with surprise. Laura, however, raised a finger to point, trembling at Adam.

"You!" She said accusingly. "You – You've ruined Mary!"

Adam and Mary burst out laughing. Almanzo knocked his own chair over as he thrust himself backwards to get away from the Kendalls. He tumbled out of his fallen chair and scrambled towards Laura, while Mary and Adam were congratulating themselves.

"Up high!" Adam said, as he and Mary high-fived with their arms raised.

"Down low!" Mary replied, as they repeated the action, this time with their arms lowered.

Caroline tried her best to comfort the newlyweds while Charles laughed his head off.

Caroline glared at the Kendalls as she led the Wilders out, with Charles following behind, chortling all the while.

Mary stood behind Adam as they left.

"Who do they think put you up to all that?" Mary asked, as Adam's eyes shone with pride.

Mary laughed a slow, deep laugh…