HI I'm back finally! Two weeks is the longest I've ever gone without an update...I apologize. Finals week was horrible. Now it's all over and I have all winter break to write for you lovely people :) (which is much better than writing tedious papers for professors) This chapter isn't too exciting, but I needed to get some things cleared up before the NEXT chapter, which I have a feeling you guys are going to like ;) Your reviews from last chapter were, as always, smile-inducing. I'll update soooon (as in possibly tomorrow or the next day) to make up for my long absence. xoxo

Lily picked up her black robes. They hadn't even been washed since the last time she'd worn them.

"Ready?" James asked softly, poking his head into the bedroom.

"In a moment," Lily said with a small smile, sliding into the robes and adjusting them.

James waited patiently for her, and kissed her forehead as she passed him to go to the fireplace. She sighed; he'd been walking on eggshells around her for the past week. It was beginning to get tiring, and only facilitated her sadness. How would she ever be happy again if James wasn't?

"I'm fine, James," she said, turning to him as he rested his hand on the small of her back.

He studied her for a moment with his eyebrows raised behind his glasses. He suddenly cracked a smile. Lily realized she hadn't seen him smile in a very long time. She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him. She tried to pull away after a moment—the funeral was beginning soon—but James wouldn't let her go.

"James," she giggled, pulling her head back. His eyes lit up at her laugher, and he took the opportunity to tickle her. She shrieked with laughter, her entire body shaking. He wrestled her to the floor, tears of mirth now filling her eyes.

"James, no!" she continued to laugh, squirming on the floor. He stopped and kissed her again, cupping her head so that it didn't come into contact with the hard floor.

"We can go now," he said, pulling her up and planting an affectionate kiss on her cheek.


"—was such a brilliant young witch. And her family were excellent members to the wizarding community. This whole affair is really, quite horrible."

Lily couldn't listen to any more of Augusta Longbottom's speech. She excused herself, winking at James, who looked after her pleadingly. Augusta was speaking directly to him, so he couldn't escape.

Lily wandered through the crowd, nodding politely to the other Order members. She stopped in front of the picture collage someone had put together. Hundreds of mini-Marlene McKinnions smiled and silently laughed back at her. In the center was the photograph of all the Order members, and Lily felt sick when she saw it; it only had been taken a little over two weeks ago.

"There goes another beautiful, talented witch."

Lily jumped at Sirius' voice. She turned and saw he was swaying slightly, shaking his head, gazing at the pictures. Lily studied him, and suddenly couldn't take being in the room anymore.

"Shall we get out of here?" Lily suggested.

Sirius looked startled. "It wouldn't be very respectful—"

"Marlene would want me to go off and share that flask of Firewhiskey I know you have hidden in your robes—"

Sirius grinned, and for a moment his tired lines disappeared and the bags under his eyes vanished into his face.

"I suppose."

Lily quickly poked him with a disillusionment charm, did the same to herself, and grabbed his arm to lead him carefully through the crowd. If they bumped into a guest it would cause an uproar. People would think that dark wizards had snuck in—

"I saw a little muggle playground off behind the building," Sirius muttered when they were safely out of earshot. Lily shot a glance a James and decided he wouldn't miss her for an hour. Augusta still had her hand firmly wrapped around his upper arm.

"Alright, Black, time to share," Lily teased as she took the disillusionment charm off. He grinned and produced a large, nondescript flask. Lily took a seat on one of the rusty swings and Sirius sat next to her. She drank deeply, feeling a sudden rush of warmth through her body.

"Ah, look at you, Evans," Sirius said in a mocking tone, although it was tinged with a hint of sadness.

"What?" Lily said defiantly, wiping her mouth off and handing the flask back to Sirius. "And that's Potter to you."

"You'll always be Evans to me," he said with a wink. "And the Evans I knew certainly wouldn't have snuck out of a funeral to drink with me."

Lily shrugged. "I suppose times have changed."

"They have," Sirius said morbidly, taking another swig and handing the Firewhiskey back to Lily.

They were quiet for a moment as Lily sipped her drink. The rhythmic creaking of their swings was comforting through the silence.

"You know, I never got around to telling Mary that I was the dog in the alley that one day at Hogsmead," Sirius said suddenly, his voice cracking.

Lily reached over and put a hand on his arm, not really sure what to say.

"And her parents banning me from the funeral..." he continued on furiously.

Lily squeezed his arm now.

"Sirius, you wouldn't have wanted to see her the way she was," Lily assured him, feeling tears forming in her own eyes.

"She still would have been beautiful," he said gruffly.

Lily nodded, letting tears fall. She hadn't allowed herself to cry over Mary. There was too much work for the Order to be done. Lily couldn't let it distract her. But now—

"How did Peter say he found her, anyways?" Lily croaked through her tight throat. She heard Sirius take another gulp of his drink.

"No need to be suspicious," Sirius said gently. "He was on his way to your's and James' house to see if you'd gone to the Order meeting yet—he was running a little late because of his mother being ill and all—and he heard...noises...from the forest..."

Sirius trailed off here, unable to speak anymore. Lily felt the urge to vomit again; both she and Sirius could infer what those horrible noises were.

He cleared his throat after a moment and continued.

"Anyways, so he transformed into his animagus and followed the sounds...got there just in time to see them disapparate—"

"Who?" Lily interrupted savagely. "Who did Peter see?"

Sirius put a calming hand on Lily's shoulder from his seat on the swing.

"He couldn't see faces. But he said they were wearing dark, hooded cloaks...they disapparated because they felt something on their left arms..."

He trailed off suggestively, and Lily felt the familiar burning anger from that night.

"Evans," Sirius said sternly. "It won't do to go barging into the middle of a bunch of them and try to take them on yourself. You're much better off sticking to your Order work so we can bring them all down one day."

Lily breathed deeply and nodded. She was lucky to have friends to talk her back to sense when her anger overcame her.

"Where was Moony tonight?" Lily asked to break the long silence that had fallen. "It's not a full moon tonight—"

To Lily's immense surprise, Sirius' face darkened.

"I don't know. Haven't heard from him in a while."

"I'm sure Dumbledore has him out doing something," Lily said, studying Sirius.

"Why wouldn't he just tell us, then?" Sirius said harshly. "I don't like it, Lily—"

"Maybe he can't," she said sharply. "Or maybe he doesn't want to."

Sirius shrugged and handed the firewhiskey back to Lily.


"James," Lily asked lightly, holding onto his arm as they trekked through the snow, "you haven't seen much of Remus lately, have you?"

James quickly glanced down at Lily. "I have not. Why do you ask?"

Lily bit her lip and sighed. "A few weeks ago I was speaking with Sirius at Marlene's funeral—"

"—that's why you left me in the clutches of Augusta? To sneak off with my best mate?" James asked in exasperation.

Lily grinned cheekily and went on. "Anyway, he seemed quite suspicious with Remus. I told him that he was being thick, but—"

James stopped walking and gave Lily a pained look.

"It's difficult to trust people these days, Lily, no matter how much you want to."

"But Remus, James? Honestly—"

"My top priority is you, Lily. Just be careful whenever you see him—"

It was too late for Lily to retort, for they had just arrived at James' parent's house. They had been very ill recently, so Lily and James had taken it upon themselves to make frequent visits to ensure Mr. and Mrs. Potter had everything they needed. Even Mitzi was unable to perform most basic duties. Lily had put her up in bed next to Mr. and Mrs. Potter so that the elf wouldn't be alone.

"Hello? Mum?" James called as they stepped into the house.

"Maybe they're sleeping," Lily suggested, although a chill crept up her spine. She could tell that James had felt it too, for he began to make frantic, quick movements.

"Yeah, sleeping," he said distantly, going up the stairs two at a time. Lily stayed a few paces behind; she was sure she knew what he would find when he opened their bedroom door—

"They're dead," he said hollowly, standing in the doorway of the master bedroom.

"James, I'm so sorry—"

"Don't be," he said softly, turning to her. His face was completely dry, and he even made a valiant attempt at a grin. "It's probably a relief for them...they've been around for ages..."

Lily nodded, although she must have looked skeptical.

"I'm fine," he insisted, squeezing her hand. "After what we've seen so far, I'm glad they were able to die peacefully, holding hands in bed. Mitzi even looks peaceful."

Lily peeked around James' shoulder into the Potters' room. Mr. and Mrs. Potter lay in bed together, Mrs. Potter's arm draped around Mr. Potter's chest, and Mitzi lay in a cozy makeshift bed a few feet away. All looked as though they were dreaming peacefully.


Lily shot up from her nap on the couch. She had dozed off after her night shift overseeing the Malfoy Manor with Edgar Bones. They had had quite an eventful night; Edgar had become impatient and snuck directly to one of the windows. When Lily berated him for being so thick, especially since he has a wife and kids, he swore that no one saw him, but Lily suspected otherwise; the Death Eaters patrolling the grounds seemed to have increased, but perhaps that was just Lily's imagination...

Lily shot off the couch when she heard another noise. The first that had woken her sounded suspiciously like the crack of apparation, and now she heard approaching footsteps. It couldn't be James or Sirius...they were out on Dumbledore's orders for the night...

Lily grabbed her wand and peered out the window. It was too dark to define a face, but there was definitely a man approaching her front door—

"It is Remus Lupin!" a muffled voice came through the door. Lily breathed a sigh of relief and unbolted her door, swinging it opened and welcoming Remus in.

"Hello, Remus!" she said cheerfully, standing aside to let him in. When he stepped into the light, some of her cheer disappeared. He was covered in more scars than before, and he looked undernourished and underslept.

"Hello, Lily," he said softly. "Is James around?"

"No, he's out with Sirius for the night—"

"Good, good, that's what I thought," Remus interrupted quickly.

Lily studied him for a moment. He was acting quite strangely...and why would it be good that James is out?

"W-would you like some tea?" Lily asked, trying to keep the strain out of her voice. She could come up with a plan, maybe send someone a quick message, if she kept him occupied.

"That would be lovely," Remus said, following her to the kitchen and slumping down at the kitchen table.

"What brings you out so late?" Lily asked lightly, rummaging around the kitchen and keeping her wand tightly in her hand.

"I—I actually had a favor to ask of you, Lily."

Lily grabbed the rest of the tea things and went to the table, seating herself across from him.

"What is it?" she asked curiously, with a sense of foreboding.

Remus sighed and looked away from her, focusing his attention on the floor.

"As you know, it's been quite difficult for me to get a job because of my—condition. Sirius was more than happy to help provide for me, but now I don't think he's as willing..."

Lily felt an enormous sense of relief, and instantly felt guilty for mistrusting him. It was Remus.

"Of course James and I will help you out!" Lily exclaimed, placing a hand over his. "Sirius is just on edge now a days, with Mary and everything..."

"I'd—erm—actually prefer if this was just between you and me," Remus said sheepishly, meeting her eye. "You know how close Sirius and James are. I'm sure James might feel the same way."

Lily wished she could argue him, but instead she looked away uncomfortably, remembering their conversation while walking to the Potters'.

"I'll be more than willing to help you," she said softly. "I don't know why you've been gone so much, but I believe it's for a good cause."

Remus squeezed her hand and made an attempt at a smile.

"This means a lot to me, Lily. I'll be honest to you. Dumbledore has me working with the other werewolves, gauging what You-Know-Who is offering them, what side they're taking—"

"Well why don't you just tell James and Sirius that?" Lily asked curiously.

Remus looked up at her with a pained expression. She even might have seen a tear escape his eye.

"I have to fit in with them," he said in barely a whisper. "I've—I've done some t-things I'm not proud of."

"Oh, Remus," Lily breathed. "That's horrible. I can't believe Dumbledore would ask you to—"

"We made a promise when we joined the Order of the Phoenix," Remus said, shaking his head. "People have died for it...this is the least I can do."

Lily nodded.

"Please, don't tell James," Remus said, desperation shining through his eyes. "I don't want him, or Sirius, to ever know. They spent the majority of their Hogwarts careers from taming the werewolf in me...I couldn't bear telling them how I'm embracing it now—"

His voice was dripping with self loathing that made Lily feel helpless. How could she possibly find the words to comfort him?

"I don't think they would judge you," Lily said softly. "But it's not my business to tell them. I'll be more than willing to help you out. I'll go to Gringott's tomorrow and take out some gold for you."

Remus nodded and stood up, looking around uneasily.

"I should be going. James might not like me stopping by so late—"

"This is my house, too," Lily said defensively.

Remus smiled. "That it is. I need to catch up on some sleep anyways—"

Lily walked him to the door.

"Goodnight, Remus. Be safe."

He looked down at her for a moment, and enveloped her in a hug. Lily hugged him back, surprised. Remus had never been one for physical affection.

"This means the world to me, Lily."

"You're our friend, Remus, it's nothing."