Chapter 29: The Secret of My Excess
Captain: Wait, wasn't this supposed to be "Twinsanity?"
Snivels: Actually, this is pretty much a reprise of the whole episode. I hope old Cotton won't be too disappointed.
Blaze: I wouldn't be surprised if he berated us for "ruining" what might be one of his favorite episodes.
Ninjark: I hope he doesn't. I'm really quite attached to my hide.
Tito: The likelihood of Cotton getting mad is, at the moment, 50-50.
Phoxie: I hope he doesn't mind us calling him "Cotton."
Snivels: Maybe we should start before the stakes raise any higher.
Pokémon and dragons all have their secrets, big or small. And it can vary how and when you'll find out.
But when those secrets start to come through, you'd better be ready.
Snivels woke up that morning to the smell of something burning. His eyes shot open, and he hastily raced down the stairs, fearing the worst. If the house was on fire, then the members of Team Go-Getters would have to take drastic action to ensure that no one got hurt, and that the house would receive as little damage as possible.
But when he got down to he main level, he noticed several burnt food dishes on the table. Fish and bacon were charred blacker than a Night Fury, eggs were reduced to a bubbling, gooey mass, even the drinks were gray and gloppy.
Hiccup, Blaze, Heather, and Ninjark were already sitting down at the table, picking at their food in disgust. Snivels nervously turned his head to see Astrid boiling a pot of something in the fireplace while a pan of brown-colored glop sat off to the side. Oh, no, Snivels thought to himself.
Astrid turned and saw the Servine standing a few feet away. "Morning," she greeted, "You hungry?"
Snivels hastily shook his head. "Thanks, but I think I can last." That wasn't a lie, the smell of whatever in the whole wide world was burning over the fire had made him lose his appetite completely.
Hiccup sighed as he forced a microscopic bite of piping-hot goop down his throat. "Don't you think it's nice of Astrid to make us breakfast?" he asked.
"Even though the girl has no clue how to cook," Ninjark muttered as he literally drowned his disgusting pile of burnt-to-a-crisp scrambled eggs in condiments in an attempt to mask the terrible taste.
A sharp elbow to his side brought the Frogadier's attention to Blaze, who pointed at Astrid. The blonde was eyeing the Bubble Frog Pokémon warningly.
Ninjark gulped. "Oops, did I say that out loud?" He forced a smile and gave Astrid a thumbs-up. "Yum!"
"I think I'll go check on the dragons," Snivels muttered to no one in particular as he headed out the door.
No sooner did he leave when Spike trudged down the stairs. The Shiny Druddigon was still a bit sleepy, but he increased the speed in his step when he noticed the food on the table. Not caring that it was burnt and gloppy, Spike swallowed every bite of the so-called food, much to the surprise of Hiccup. Second later, Spike fell to the floor, his belly full, and licked his lips.
"Guys! Come out here! Quick!"
Snivels's yell directed the trainers' attention off of Spike, and they all made a mad dash for the door. In the occurring scramble, Hiccup somehow managed to make his way outside and over to the Dragon's Meadow. "What is it? What's wrong?"
Snivels's back was facing Hiccup when he arrived, and the Servine turned around with a large smile on his face whilst holding a certain Whispering Death dragonet. "Terrorspin said his first word!"
Hiccup gave a look similar to the one Snivels had worn earlier. "What?"
Snivels held the baby Whispering Death so that he was eye level with Hiccup. "Go on, Terry," Snivels persuaded, a large grin on his face, "Say it again."
Terrorspin was silent before he suddenly hiccupped. Hiccup's expression changed from confused to frustrated in less than an instant. "Not funny, Snivels."
"Really?" the Servine taunted in a friendly manner. "You're named after a bodily function that involves a spasming diaphragm. That's funny, ask anyone!" Snivels started laughing as Terrorspin hiccupped again.
"It's bad enough having Snotlout and the twins tease me about it," Hiccup said. "I don't need you trying to add more bad humor to it!" Terrorspin responded by hiccupping. Snivels was laughing too hard to say anything.
It was about then that Kickin' Hawk swooped in with a scroll of paper in his hand, the sound of his wings catching Hiccup's attention almost instantly. "Bad news," he said. Snivels stopped laughing and shifted his attention to the Hawlucha, who opened the scroll. "The Berserkers are coming to Berk."
Terrorspin hiccupped.
The only reasonable thing Hiccup could do when he heard the Berserkers would be arriving was go ask his father about it.
He and Toothless and Snivels, who were tailing him as usual, reached the front doorstep and walked through the door to find Gobber trying to fasten a fancy-looking belt around Stoick's waist. It was no easy task - the chief wasn't called Stoick the Vast for nothing. Stoick's Beartic, Brumous, was at the table, idly tapping his claws against the wood.
"Suck in your gut, Stoick!" Gobber grunted, pulling harder on the belt.
"It's sucked Gobber!" the chief wheezed in reply. "It doesn't suck any more than this!"
A chuckle escaped Snivels's mouth. "Yeah, that does suck."
It was only now that Hiccup remembered why he had come here. "So, it's that time of year again?"
Stoick managed enough air to reply, "Yep, today's the annual treaty-signing with the Berserker tribe."
"They've really got to change that name," snorted Gobber. "When your chief's called Oswald the Agreeable and you haven't been to war in fifty years?"
"Sounds like a miracle to me," Snivels muttered under his breath.
Hiccup's eye twitched a little and his heart skipped a beat when he remembered something else. "Oh, please tell me Oswald's not bringing that lunatic kid of his..."
"Dagur?" the blacksmith confirmed. "Ah, he'll be here."
Why did that name sound so much like it belonged to a demon in disguise?
"Let me guess," Hiccup said. "I'm supposed to keep him from breaking stuff."
But Stoick had something different in mind. "Actually, I have a more important job for you. I need you to hide all the dragons."
If Snivels had eyebrows, he would have raised one. "From Oswald the Agreeable?"
Nodding, Stoick replied, "Just because we haven't had war for fifty years doesn't mean they still can't go...well, berserk. The dragons could be seen as a sign of aggression. Better blissful than bloody, I always say."
"Says the high overlord of hypocrisy," Snivels grumbled.
Not hearing him, Gobber piled on, "The last thing we want is another Berserker skirmish. They tend to play for keeps."
Now, Hiccup didn't really understand what the big deal was, but he knew it was wise to do as he was asked. Maybe not by his own father, though.
"Sorry, Toothless," he murmured. "We'll have to spend the day apart tomorrow." He patted the Night Fury's head apologetically before he and his two friends exited the house and headed back up towards Raven Point.
It took a lot of work to round up all of Team Go-Getters, but they were finally on their way to herding every last dragon and Dragon-type Pokémon to a neighboring island. The dragons made up an absolutely massive group - not as big as the hoard they had seen during the breeding migration, but still huge - that encompassed the land and the sky. There were a few communication problems when it came time to inform the dragons of the big move, but in a surprisingly short amount of time, the entire population was ready to relocate until further notice.
"You said Dagur was coming?" Ninjark asked Hiccup as he and Heather flew by on Windshear. "What's he like?"
Hiccup's answer made them all cringe. "Last time he was here, he used me as a knife-throwing target!"
Astrid and Stormfly flew up next to her fiancé and his Night Fury. "That idiot should be locked up in a cage!"
The rest of the conversation was lost to Hiccup when something big slammed down onto Toothless's back and knocked them out of the air. When they landed, Hiccup found himself lying on his back with a green and orange-colored Druddigon that was twice as big as Spike on top of him. The Cave Pokémon growled in a a friendly manner, nosing Hiccup's face and playfully swatting his claws at his auburn hair.
It was right about then that Hiccup realized the Druddigon was Spike.
Straining to push the now-larger Cave Pokémon off of him, Hiccup couldn't help but ask, "Spike, what are you doing? And how did you grow so fast?"
"He's maturing," came an answer from Kickin' Hawk as he and the rest of the team landed nearby. It hadn't taken them long to notice their leader's absence from the air.
Spike picked himself off of his master and reached into one of the saddlebags hanging from Toothless's sides. The Shiny Druddigon pulled out an apple and devoured it in one bite.
"Pokémon that don't have any sort of evolved forms grow differently," Kickin' Hawk explained. "They start out small, then, when the reach a certain age, they start getting bigger. Unfortunately, this process cannot be controlled, or predicted. During that time, they need to consume increased amounts of food in order to fuel the growing process."
As if on cue, Spike was surrounded by a light blue aura that gave off a much weaker glow than a typical evolution. Mostly because it was not an evolution.
It was a growth spurt.
And the sound it was providing was not all that pleasant. Bones creaked and groaned as they stretched and grew, and a terrible swishing sound from inside Spike's body indicated that his innards were also getting bigger, and shifting into new places. Spike's head became more angular, his scales hardening until they were rougher than rocks. When it stopped, Spike was now as tall as Hiccup.
This couldn't have happened at a worse time. Hiccup picked himself up off the ground. "Well, we need to hide him before the Berserkers - "
Suddenly, the low drone of a horn rang our from the far distance.
"...are here," Astrid finished for him.
No one saw Kickin' Hawk's eyes harden. "Great," he muttered. "Just great."
There was no time for Hiccup to help his friends finish moving all of the dragons off of Berk. Well, except for the ones they used as transportation - they needed them to head back to the island, after all. Hiccup had to go join his father, and Gobber, at the docks, waiting to welcome Oswald.
Normally, Hiccup would be happy to see the Berserker chief. Everybody liked Oswald the Agreeable. But if his demented son was coming, and he happened to find any sort of dragon during his stay and jump to the wrong conclusion...well, let's just say Hiccup wasn't the only one who'd be more than willing to see the back end of his boat when he and the Berserkers left Berk for another year.
Snivels was also there, as it was customary for the Pokémon belonging to the chief's family to attend as well. If it were up to him, though, he'd gladly pass up meeting with someone as insane as what he'd heard about Dagur.
Nervously, Hiccup eyed the twenty-odd Berserker warships that were anchored a few hundred yards out to sea. The biggest and most impressive of the ships, though - a humongous vessel with a Skrill painted on its sail - was advancing steadily toward the dock on which the representatives were waiting.
At last, it pulled up to the dock and dropped its anchor. A gangplank was lowered, and the Berserkers' herald - the same one that had accompanied Oswald on his last visit - walked down the plank to meet the welcoming committee.
"Presenting the almighty chief of the Berserkers!" announced the herald in a clear, carrying voice. "Cracker of skulls, slayer of beasts, the great, fearsome - "
"I've got a bad feeling about this," Snivels muttered under his breath, so the Berserkers wouldn't hear him.
The herald paused for dramatic effect before he finished. "Dagur the Deranged!"
That was when a sinking feeling took hold of Hiccup's heart and dragged it down to somewhere beneath the surface of the earth. The tall, lanky, and unpleasantly familiar figure of none other than Dagur hopped off the boat and made his way down to greet them. His helmet had two long, slightly bent horns rising up from it, and his armor had a clip securing a deadly-looking axe.
An equally familiar Pawniard, with some very similar mannerisms as the teen, followed suit. Hiccup recalled that his name was Deathblade, and he had been Dagur's favorite Pokémon since he'd been old enough to keep one for himself.
"Dagur?" Stoick repeated, shocked.
"Deranged?" Gobber repeated in equal shock.
"Oh no," Hiccup muttered.
There was a whizzing noise and a flash of steel, and Hiccup ducked. Dagur had whipped a knife out of nowhere and tossed it at him, which, in the past, would have probably been too fast for him to get away unscathed. But Hiccup's reflexes had improved considerably, thanks to months of riding Toothless and leading Team Go-Getters.
Dagur didn't know that, though, and sniffed with disappointment when his favorite target dodged the projectile.
An irritated Snivels opened his mouth to retort, but stopped at the sound of someone clearing their throat. He turned to see Kickin' Hawk hiding behind a short, wooden post a few feet away from them. The Hawlucha made a motion of zipping his lips shut, glaring at the Servine. Getting the message, Snivels kept his mouth shut.
"Dagur, where's your father?" asked Stoick, cutting right to the chase.
Twirling another knife between his fingers, Dagur answered, "My father's been...retired. He lost his taste for blood. I, on the other hand, am starving." He said that last part in a sing-song voice that sent chills down the spines of everyone present. Kickin' Hawk knew the meaning behind the selfish and power-hungry teenager's words, his hand self-consciously making its way to the right side of his body and tracing his scar.
Putting the knife away, Dagur decided to change the subject. "So, where are you hiding them Stoick?"
All he got for an answer was a question from the confused Berkian chief. "What is there to hide, Dagur?"
Oh, we both know what's going on," chuckled Dagur. "We heard on excellent authority that you are amassing an army of dragons, of all things. Didn't we, Deathblade?"
His partner (in crime) replied enthusiastically. "Pawniard!"
Hiccup, not wanting to stay and hear the rest of the conversation, decided now was the best time to leave and warn his friends of what was going on. With Snivels on his heels, the Go-Getter took off running toward the village.
Before they completely left the docks, Hiccup could have sworn he heard a distressed cry coming from below the deck of Dagur's ship...
It wasn't long before Hiccup and Snivels reached the plaza, desperately searching for any sign of their friends. Just their luck, Hiccup ended up literally crashing into Astrid, who was just coming around a corner, and they both fell to the ground, with Hiccup on top of her.
Snivels skidded to a stop as the two Trainers of Destiny tried to clear their heads, noticing that Blaze was ducking into a nearby alleyway. By the time Hiccup had regained his thoughts, he realized that his face was just mere inches away from Astrid's. Blushing in embarrassment over the situation, Hiccup hastily picked himself off the ground, an action that Astrid copied.
Brushing herself off, the Haddock-to-be stated, "Hiccup, we have a problem."
"You're telling me," Hiccup blurted, impulsively running a hand through his hair. "Dagur's the new Berserker chief!"
"WHAT?!" Astrid nearly shrieked.
"Yeah, his father 'retired,'" Hiccup said, quoting Dagur. "And he thinks we're amassing an army of dragons!"
"That would bring us to our next problem," Blaze said, pointing to the ground beneath them. Hiccup looked down to see a trail of medium-sized Pokémon tracks heading out into the plaza.
Druddigon tracks.
It took him a minute to find his voice before he stuttered, "Spike? Here?"
The answer he got was a gurgling sound from the other side of the plaza. The four friends turned their heads to see none other than Spike eating out of a basket of fish near the food storage building. To make matters worse, the sounds of talking could be heard - the Berserkers were heading up the path, and if they made it to the plaza, they'd immediately catch sight of Spike!
Making haste, Hiccup, Astrid, Snivels and Blaze rushed out of their alley and each snatched a fish basket. They lured the hungry Druddigon away from the plaza and safely out of sight just as Stoick and the others led Dagur and his men to the food stores.
"And here we are, at the food storage," announced Gobber. "It's where we...well, you know..."
"Ooh, ooh, let me guess!" Dagur said with mock enthusiasm, then dropped the act. "It's where you store food. Boring! I want to see the dragon killing things!"
"Right this way," grumbled Stoick.
As the party left the food stores, none of them noticed a maturing Shiny Druddigon run across the plaza and to another part of the village.
After about two minutes of frantic searching, the four friends suddenly heard Heather call for them. Racing towards the sound of her voice they found the raven-haired girl, along with Ninjark, trying to drag Spike, who was eating out of a large basket of carrots and whatnot, away from the armory by his tail, with no such luck.
From the boasting coming from inside the armory, Hiccup quickly figured out that Dagur was inside. Realizing the danger his friend was in, Hiccup promptly joined in the tugging, grabbing one of Spike's "wings" and pulling as hard as he could. Astrid, Snivels, and Blaze soon joined in, their effort making the Shiny Druddigon move a few inches.
Spike, barely noticing his friends' attempts to pull him into hiding, calmly continued to eat.
Suddenly, the handle of the armory door started to rattle, and Hiccup could hear Dagur's voice muttering something on the other side. Quickly formulating a plan in his head, he uttered out, "You guys get him out of here, I'll distract them!" He didn't notice their looks of shock before he dashed out into the open.
The next thing Hiccup knew, he was looking at Dagur's disappointed mug.
"No signs of use, no bloodstains...pity," he said over his shoulder. Then he turned his head, saw Hiccup, and instantly broke into a warm smile (which was really intimidating). "Ah, Hiccup! It's been a while!"
Praying to Arceus that his plan would work, Hiccup forced out in mock joy, "Dagur! I was just thinking about you. Hey, remember the time we went swimming and you tried to drown me?"
"Oh, the fun times we had, huh?" Dagur laughed, brushing past him.
But then, he stopped, and turned back around. "Hang on. Where is it?"
Fearing the worst, Hiccup tried, "And...uh, what, what would that be?"
"Your leg," Dagur replied, pointing to the prosthetic Hiccup was wearing.
Hiccup was relieved, to say the least. "Oh, oh that. Well, uh...you know..."
"You don't have to explain," Dagur said conversationally. "I heard all about it. You, the Red Death, how you killed it all on your own?"
At that point, Snivels strolled out into the open, and, without thinking, stated, "Technically, he didn't do it all by himself." Then realization dawned on him, and he covered his mouth with both hands.
Genuinely amazed, Dagur exclaimed, "A talking Pokémon?! Where can I get me one of those! Oh, all the things we could talk about! Killing stuff, conquering islands, killing stuff, running the Berserkers, did I mention killing stuff?
Snivels frowned at the repetition of Dagur's favorite hobby.
Thankfully, Stoick walked out the door alongside Gobber and the Berserkers. "Alright, who's hungry?" he asked, breaking the tension. "It's time for the feast in the Great Hall you insisted on, Dagur."
"It's that way," Gobber added helpfully, pointing with his hook.
Brumous and Probe, Gobber's Probopass, followed, along with Deathblade, who briefly stopped to examine Hiccup's prosthetic and tap it with one of his blades.
The first place Hiccup ran to as soon as they were gone was the back of the armory, where Spike had been pulled away to. Only the Shiny Druddigon was not there. Before Hiccup could ask, Astrid wordlessly pointed in the direction of the Great Hall.
Hiccup spared a glance to see Spike making a break for the building, having heard there would be a feast there.
"We need to get him out of here!" Hiccup exclaimed before leading his friends in a chase, all of them desperate to recover the ever-growing Shiny Druddigon.
Snivels: Well, that got done quicker than I anticipated.
Me: I get pretty motivated when I'm doing something I like. I'm also motivated to do whatever's necessary for a successful life.
Blaze: Kinda like us, huh?
Ninjark: You just read my mind.
Kickin' Hawk: Leave some reviews if you want to see what happens next.
