They were just small moments — little specks of experience that were nothing out of the ordinary — and yet they carried weight and as much importance as any momentous instances Gail could conjure up at short notice. She never took them for granted, or undervalued them. And because of this perspective she found herself slowly bear witness to some imperative changes taking precedence in her life, that would one day alter her entire outlook forever.

She remembers when she was first conscious of this shift, one night as she was leaving the locker room having changed into something a lot less taxing. It had been a long and exhaustive day spent paired with Price yet Gail made it through all the same, and was now a happy camper as she threw her bag carelessly over her shoulder in her haste to leave the premise.

But as she was walking down the corridor she faltered, eyes catching the form of her friend as she spoke with Swarek – more than likely talking about some case or another given the folder she was clutching. Gail hadn't realised she had stopped moving until Holly was staring at her, shooting a brief smile her way before returning to her conversation with the Detective.

The small detail forces Gail to shake her head and look away, feeling embarrassed for some reason as she tightened the hold on her bag. She eventually found her legs and once again set in motion her speedy exit from the police station.

Only this time all she could see were brown eyes staring at her.

And she couldn't figure out why, at least not until much later.

Later, when she's at the bar, nursing a Jack and Coke because she's refuses to sit with the rest of the group. She can feel Andy's gaze on her as well as Nick's, and it's making her feel uncomfortable, at least more so than usual. So she takes a generous swig of alcohol and seeks out the bartender, demanding yet another round as she finishes off the glass she already has.

"Hey you." She turns her head in time to see Holly casually sit down onto the bar stool next to her, eyes already on her as she smiles warmly.

"Thought I'd catch you here. Hey, can you make that two? Thanks." Holly signals to the bartender, who then sets about fulfilling their orders as Gail remains stoic in her seat, looking at Holly through narrowing eyes.

"What are you doing here?"

"Just came to check on you. How's the wrist doing these days?" Holly inquires as she accepts the drink and pays the fair before Gail can fork out her share. She simply waves her off and pushes the other drink to Gail as she takes a sip of her own, adjusting her position on the stool so she can peer at Gail more directly.

"It's fine." Gail remarks thinly, grasping the glass and placing a straw into it. She then proceeds to slowly suck at the alcohol, keeping her eyes downcast as she tries to ignore the loud display coming from the other side of the room. The laughter makes her sigh as she discards the straw entirely and goes about swigging the alcohol back instead.

"Whoa, slow down there. What are we celebrating, exactly?" Holly jests with a quirk of the brow as she observes her friend's demeanour, determining rather quickly she doesn't like it one bit.

"Oh you know, friends, family and the like; best support system anyone can ask for." She bites as she eyes the bartender, who seems intent on not making eye contact with her as he goes about serving other people.

"I think this calls for a round of Tequila."

"You sure you don't wanna slow down or you know, get out of here?" Gail's eyes dart to Holly's frame then, glowering from hooded eyes.

"Clearly you don't want to be here, Gail. You're sat at the bar by choice when your friends are sitting right over there. You're punishing yourself for something — for reasons I don't know — and I don't like it. So I ask again, do you want to get out of here?"

"I need Tequila."

"I have plenty at my place." She remains silent as she eyes Holly, trying to discern why she's doing this exactly. It prompts Holly to continue however, trying to sell the idea to her friend as she places her drink down onto the bar.

"Bourbon, too, or Beer if you prefer?" Gail sits there and weighs her options, giving up on the bartender as she tilts her head at an angle to scrutinise Holly some more.

"Your place does have alcohol. Does it have food too?"

"It does. It has a refrigerator and freezer if you can believe it. Also cupboards filled with edible goodness."

"That's questionable." Holly smirks at the retort and proceeds to look at Gail, waiting for the banter to continue. She rests her elbow onto the bar and supports herself with her palm as she sinks into the stool.

"And your place has a television? And I'm not talking some box TV in one of your offices. I want HD, flat screen, living room TV."

"Of course. I also have a game console with a lot of games. It's my nephew's; I bought it for him as a present because his mother won't allow consoles in the home, so when he visits he gets to play his games and I get to play the cool aunt. Its a win-win, really."

"This mother you speak of, is she your-"

"Sister. Yes Gail, that's usually how genealogy works."

"Okay smart ass, just making sure."

"So, is that a yes? Free booze, free entertainment and most importantly, free snacks?"

"Like I said, Holly, the food you consume is questionable, at best. So when you say snacks, I accept with caution."

"I have a cupboard full of snacks for Ben when he visits. There may just be some Cheese Puffs left, unless he had the last packet on Sunday. I guess we won't know unless we go now."

"How old is?"

"Ben? He's 12. He's a good kid."

"And your sister won't allow him to play games in the house? She sounds insane."

"Not the only insane person I know." Gail rolls her eyes and folds her arms defiantly across her chest.

"I'm not that insane; I'd never abuse a child like that." Holly laughs as she sets about finishing her drink.

"Should I call a taxi then?" She notices a slight tension in Gail's shoulders as she straightens up, her features hardening as she diverts her eyes. It's then that Holly remembers the details, however vague, and begins to backtrack.

"Or we can walk? It shouldn't be too far from here." It's a lie and they know it.

"We can get a taxi."

"You sure? It's just I hitched a ride-"

"You'll be there won't you?" She's not sure if it's a statement or a question, so Holly nods eagerly and pushes the glass away.

"Of course."

"Then sure."

"I'll just give them a call. I'll be back in a sec." She says softly as she stands up and moves away from the bar, making sure to shoot Gail a quick, sincere smile as she places her phone to her ear and heads for the exit, trying to get some quiet over all of the noise.

It's this small intermission which allows Gail to think, to appreciate how all of these tiny moments are actually forming into something more, something worthwhile, something rather telling. These details that would otherwise not affect her but now seem to be snowballing all at once to prove she has been and can be disarmed.

Because she's done it; Holly has swept through every barrier, every sarcastic quip and deflection.

She just seems to look at Gail and see her, know her without even trying. It's fast becoming unsettling, if she's being honest, though she can't quite disconnect herself from her friend. She enjoys the company but most importantly, she enjoys Holly's company. She can't recall the last time she has ever knowingly wanted to hang out with someone. And if she's being even more honest, she can't even remember a time when she truly felt so content by just spending time with somebody.

But again, it's not that it's anyone, it's someone – it's Holly specifically. And it's this which seems to be startling and soothing all at once. It's like she's constantly on edge, forever on the wire but she can't imagine being anywhere else. She willingly wants to be here, to be around her, surrounded by her even though it unnerves her so much.

Holly is her friend. She understands everything there is to know about her, or at least it appears that way. She knows how to placate, how to soothe, how to make everything better without ever making it a big deal. She knows how to make her laugh, make her cringe and make her feel so glad to be alive and in a moment, all by being in her company.

In all truthfulness, it scares her because Gail's never had someone on her side before. She's always had to defend and stand for herself because she had to, but now with Holly it seems like she's not so alone. She doesn't feel so burdened, heavy, so miserable. She just is. She just feels. And she can't quite figure out why that is, besides the small moments.

Like when Holly glances at her, staring studiously to penetrate those cool irises in order to see her interior; a place no one else has been able to behold before. It's like she can see her for all she is, and she doesn't look away. She doesn't cower, she doesn't falter. She doesn't see her as broken, or problematic. Doesn't judge, nor does she pity.

She just is, and she can just be in the grace of Holly's presence.

And she really can't remember the last time when she felt more at peace than in this moment right here, waiting at the bar away from her friends as she waits for Holly to return.

"Gail."

Up until this point she had managed to avoid and dismiss Andy, and her all-consuming presence at 15 Division, and even outside of work. But really, only Andy would not accept her attempts and go about making this as awkward and painful as possible.

Gail swivels on the stool, turning her back to Andy as she keeps her eyes to the counter, clenching her jaw tightly. But she just lingers there like a stray cloud, desperate to piss on her parade.

"Ga—"

"Really, you're going to do this here, right now?" She turns sharply to face Andy who on appearance flinches, her face falling as she gazes at Gail, eyes dithering until they settle on looking directly over her shoulder.

"Have you got a death wish, McNally?"

"N-no, I just—"

"Just thought you'd rub the salt in the wound just that little bit more, make sure you really hurt me? How sadist of you." She deadpans as Andy shuffles on the spot helplessly.

"I never meant—"

"You never mean to but you do, don't you? You act like you're better than me, like you're bigger than all of this shit I just so happen to create for myself. But you're just as much at fault as I am. You're just as low and as disgusting as I am— maybe even more so, because I would never betray a friend like that, ever."

"Gail." She turns her head to see Holly standing next to her, her face trying to remain neutral but the cracks are already beginning to show. And it's takes Gail a moment to register how this being, this person is actually directing compassion towards her. It's a foreign feeling that's been slowly coating her heart, sheilding it from the rough splinters ready to strike. She's not entirely sure how Holly managed to tend to and wrap her heart up in this way so protectively, but she's grateful for it, all the same.

Because she realises now how it no longer feels open — bruised and pierced — it feels, oddly enough, rather whole.

"The taxi will be here in a few minutes. Do you want to wait outside with me?"

"Yeah." She mutters under her breath, turning to give Andy a stern look before she gets off her stool. She collects her jacket and slowly puts it on, all the while staring Andy down, who once again diverts her eyes away from Gail.

"I actually liked you, McNally. And the funny thing is, whatever friendship we had, you ruined it, not me." She zips up her jacket and sniffs, straightening her back to stand as tall as she can. She waits until Andy finally looks Gail in the eye, and delivers the last part with astonishing ease.

"So you can go to Hell." She turns her back on her then and walks away, feeling the eyes of not only Andy but the entire group as she heads for the exit, yet she doesn't feel sad, not even upset. She just feels relieved because she can feel the one pair that counts; brown eyes that get her as she trails behind, following her out of the bar.

And it's changed her, and not in the ways she thought it would. What happened in the Penny hasn't left her bitter or with feelings of hatred. Instead, she feels glad to be over it; to verbalise it all for one last hearing and in the presence of someone who understands, and who is still right beside her no matter the words declared.

They idle together on the spot, side by side as they look to the street, waiting for the taxi to come. Gail looks to Holly at the exact moment she turns to regard Gail.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to call the taxi. I just— I wasn't sure if Ben had eaten the Cheese Puffs or not, so I went to the corner store, and well.." She pulls the chips out from her pocket and presents them to her, eyes immediately seeking Gail's who gaze has fallen to the package being offered to her. After a slight delay she finally accepts them and looks at Holly, a smile working its way upon her lips.

"Thank you." She stares at her for a prolonged moment, trying to let Holly know she's more than just grateful for the chips. Holly shrugs and smiles in return, stuffing her hands into her pockets, with eyes crinkling with affection.

"You're welcome, Gail."

They were just small moments — little specks of experience that were nothing out of the ordinary — and yet they carried weight and as much importance as any momentous instances Gail could conjure up at short notice. She never took them for granted, or undervalued them. And because of this perspective she found herself slowly bear witness to some imperative changes taking precedence in her life, that would one day alter her entire outlook forever.

Moments filled with lulls, words and stolen glances with a friend: her friend who was fast becoming more to her than she could ever have fathom.