Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon.

Warning: this story contains yaoi (malexmale) and lemons. It also contains mentions of incest, rape and abuse.


"…You're alright kid! You work hard; you may just be able to keep this job." A booming voice seemed to echo in my ears. I would be glad when I could finally rid myself of it.

"Ha… Thanks." I replied dryly, trying to keep a smile on.

"No, really. For your first day, you show me you're at least capable. I had my doubts, but you young lad could work." Mr. Hilbert went on, twirling in his office chair.

I felt as if I was about to fall over, "Thank you Mr. Hilbert. I tried my best."

"Indeed! It paid off! Well; you can go now. I expect you back here tomorrow. Your schedule was emailed to you." He waved his hand dismissively and I quickly backed out from his office. Once I closed his door, I sighed dramatically, trailing through the hallway. I was exhausted all over. I was put to work the first day; I barely could find my way around the place and I was being made to do this and to do that. My position was supposed to be at the concessions, so why was I mopping the bathrooms, whipping counters and cleaning the junk up in the theaters? First day and I already put in several hours. Was this even legal?

I dragged myself from the theater; never did I want to see it again. I forgot to take off my uniform as I stumbled home. Well, at least I would get money. Yes… Money… the only thing keeping me going I thought to myself with a greedy grin. As I walked, I looked around me. It was getting dark already, but the city was still alive. People walked the streets, laughing amongst themselves. Some couples sat together outside of restaurants or bars. I passed a couple making out heavily in an alley. I winced; it reminded me of my dream… shit, my dream. It was just a dream Black, come down! I told myself. It was a short dream, I was just holding N like I was yesterday when for some reason I felt the compulsion to kiss him. Kiss him! A guy! My friend! I groaned at myself, I needed help. I swear: it was White and Bianca's girl voodoo. After a long walk, I finally got home. I trailed down the halls, making it to my apartment. I unlocked the door, pushing my way inside the dark apartment. Shower… Food... Bed… Sounds good. I thought to myself as I closed the door behind me. For a moment I assumed I was in the apartment alone, but then I heard a distant sound of running water.

I went to the bathroom door and knocked on it, hearing the shower running. "Hey, N? Cheren? One of you in there?" I shouted.

I heard a small crashing sound, "Ach, yeah. I am in here!" Came N's surprised voice.

"What are you doing? Didn't you just shower this morning?" I grumbled, I was grimy and tired and wanted a shower!

"…You did too." He replied.

"Yes well, I've been working all day. I deserve a shower!"

"I… I got smoothie all over myself." He sounded rather ashamed.

"The hell? How'd you get…?" Maybe I didn't even want to know.

"Long story! Jugo started it!" N insisted.

"Who the hell is Jugo?"

"Another long story. I will be out in a few minutes Black. Sorry." He sounded guilty with himself.

"Alright… Take your time I guess. I'm going to be in my room, just let me know when you're done." I figured I might as well get a short nap in.

I walked away from the door, heading into my room and almost floating into the bed. I was tired; I hadn't worked so hard in a long time. My brain was ready to shut down, as well as my body. I curled up on top of the covers, closing my eyes and letting my mind go blank… unfortunately it didn't stay that way. I was fluctuating in and out of sleep, listening to the rhythmic sound to the shower in the room next door. My mind melded with the sound of the water that echoed in my head; soon it was the only thing I could hear. The beatings of the drops, one after the other, like a heavy rain shower; it was somehow calming. Pictures formed in my mind. Swirling white mist filled the scene. It seemed to only be mist floating freely with the sound rain. At first I thought that was all it was, but I could see something in my mist. A figure. It looked humanoid, but I could see no features. I found myself moving forward to the figure in curiosity. More of it was revealed through the white. First the light skin tone, I could see their torso, which was covered in multiple very familiar scars. I could see their hair, which was long and flowing. It was a light shade of green that draped wet over their shoulders. But then I made out their face; and I realized it was N. I suppose I should have before, but my head didn't feel right. I felt dizzy, like the feeling of spinning around in circles and stopping, but your head keeps going. It suddenly became hot, very hot. The rain that was falling wasn't rain either; it was a shower and the mist wasn't mist; but steam. The hot water sent out masses of steam, hiding most of N's stark naked body.

His eyes stared at me, straight into mine. I shivered; despite the heat. And it was only getting hotter as I felt myself move forward. Was this a dream? Reality? I couldn't even tell anymore, and I didn't oppose myself as the space between us closed. Did I care when the liquid of the shower washed onto my clothed body as I almost crashed into N? No. I welcomed it somehow. Everything was becoming a blur; I couldn't even see N's face. But I felt his tongue against mine. Wait... when did his tongue get in there? When did we start kissing at all? I couldn't remember anymore, nothing made sense anyway.

But it was going too far, this couldn't be right. This couldn't even be real. When did I even…? Everything began to fade, but the heat remained. I found myself panting on my bed. I couldn't have been asleep… No, I had been dozing; border line unconsciousness. But I couldn't think about that now... I was more worried about why my pants felt uncomfortably tight.

-Shit, no. No. I felt the panic rising as I slowly looked down and confirmed my fears that I had somehow become turned on, and my pants were tenting. And by what? Just a hallucination caused by exhaustion. Yeah, that's all. Though, that didn't solve my problem now did it? I sat up, grabbing myself painfully. What was I supposed to do now? I couldn't rid myself of it anytime soon! The shower had stopped; N would be in here any—

I heard a click as the bathroom door opened. Shit. I looked around awkwardly; I couldn't possibly let N see me like this. Even N isn't stupid enough to know what this meant. In my desperate search for an answer, my eyes landed on a pillow. I quickly grabbed it, and lay back my side, curling around it so my crotch was covered up. I hugged it against my torso, putting my chin to it. Just pretend to be asleep, Black. I shut my eyes, and calmed my frayed breathing. A second later, I heard my door creek open and I tried hard not to move, but it was hard being this… well hard. It was ridiculously painful, but all I had to do was wait until N left and I could sneak into the bathroom.

But my plan went flushing down the toilet as I heard N walk across the wooden floor to the bed. I heard him say my name softly, and I tried with all my might not to move. I continued breathing slowly, letting out the smallest of snores.

"I guess you're asleep then…" N trailed off and remained silent.

Yes, yes I am. Now go away go away go away…! I felt beyond humiliated right now and wanted nothing more than to just get to the bathroom and make it stop.

Sadly, I can't always be so lucky. I felt the bed dunk under the weight of N. Shit! He's getting into bed? I hated some of these little things N did, like when I was in bed, he was right next to me. Why now… Why now? God damn it, why can't I settle down? I laid here nearly hyperventilating, and it only got worse when I felt N snuggle up behind me like he usually did when we slept. Why did I let him get away with it before? Didn't I know it would have come back to bite me in the ass?

One thing about N is that he was much taller than me; by half a foot. He tends to curl his body around me at times, which isn't working so well for me at the moment. I could feel his crotch against my ass- shit. Why was it only turning me on more? I let out a deep breath, then another snore so he'd think I was still asleep. God damn it, why was I put in such a situation now? As I battled with my raging hormones and confusion, N began mumbling something into my back. At first I thought it was just him blabbering; on occasion he would sing lullabies before sleeping. But then I realized he wasn't singing; he was talking to me.

"Black, sometimes I just do not get you… What you mean, to me. Why did you kiss me…? Was it simply a dream?" I could barely hear N's words, but they still could have brought me to tears- Damn it, no! Black, you're not a fucking homo… Get over yourself. What the hell was he talking about? I didn't kiss him! Was he referring to my dream? No, how the hell would he know what happened in my dream?

"..You out of all people helped me... You're the only human I feel truly secure around… Could I say I love you? I would not know. I know little of this thing called love…" N went on. I felt pain shoot through my chest at his words. You don't love me, N! That's ridiculous; impossible. Shut up already and get with the program- SHIT.

I couldn't take this anymore, it was ridiculous. So I began to fidget, pretending I was just waking up. I couldn't keep listening to this. I opened my eyes slowly, and at once N bounced off the bed, pretending he was never there. I swear you're going to get it later… I thought as I sat up, stealthily moving the pillow I was hugging to my lap so he wouldn't see my still-present erection.

"Hello… N." My voice cracked, I coughed.

"Black." He nodded, "I finished my shower; you can use the bathroom now. I am sorry."

"Thanks. Now, go play with my pokemon or something." I waved my hands in the general direction of the living room, and he trotted away. After I was sure he was out into the living room, I quickly sped out of my room as well and down the hall into the bathroom. Once in the shower, I felt too emotionally overwhelmed to deal with my lower problem.

"Could I say I love you….?" N's words echoed in my mind, much to my displeasure. Speaking of love? The hell? How is that even…? I hit my head into the side of the shower and groaned loudly.

I would need help from an expert.

I needed to call White.

"Hey Black, what did you need?" White's voice came over the phone. After my shower and eating dinner, I wanted till Cheren and N were asleep to be able to have a private conversation. Lucky for me White was a night-owl.

"This… This is my last ditch effort. I wouldn't be calling you unless I was desperate." I growled over the phone. I was truly exhausted, I wanted to make this quick.

"What're you talking about?" She asked.

With a shaky sigh, I explained quickly the highlights of the last few months. From the point where N showed up on my doorstep, how we ended up sleeping in the same bed because it made him feel better, how the only night we were separated at night he had the worst of his night terrors. I got up to the point of my dream last night. Much to my shame I also admitted I was turned on by a simple hallucination. Once I was done, she was quiet for a moment.

"Oh Black, you're so head over heels." She finally sighed.

"Excuse me? No I'm not!" I hissed through the phone.

"What else would you call it? Hm?"

"Well for one, people don't just fall in love in two months, especially not with a guy. I still can't see me being gay at all."

"You got a freaking boner thinking about N naked." She snickered.

Coming out of her mouth, it sounded way worse. "I blame your girl voodoo." I muttered, though I could feel my face was burning.

"Oh not that again! Listen Black, I know it sounds unlikely, but you do have some sort of feeling for him beyond friendship; that much is obvious."

I sighed. "I don't know White…"

"Black, you need to let go of your manly ego." She said flatly. "It's getting in the way of you seeing your feelings. Just let go."


So I did a seme/uke test for Black and N.

Black got Romantic Seme (A true romantic, you're safest sticking with a partner who is gentle and can appreciate your mature, loving ways and protective nature. )

N got Clueless Uke (Having a good time is what you're all about. You're satisfied just to have someone to eat hamburgers and play video games with, and are completely oblivious to other's manipulative behavior.)

Anyway, more on the subject. I'd like opinions on this chapter: did I make Black move a bit too fast? I feel like I did.

30 chapters in and I think it's moving too fast.. hahaaa..