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Disclaimer: I don't own any recognizable characters or references. The characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. The only thing I own is the plot of this story.

Chapter 28: So close

EPOV

September 13th, 2010

5…4…3…2…1

I watched as the red numbers on the clock on my nightstand changed to midnight. On any other day, it would just mean another day was here but today, it meant something different. The woman that I was in love with was born 22 years ago today.

In past years, I've called her at midnight and snuck into her bedroom. It's a funny thing when you realize how quickly things change in a matter of weeks though. Why? Because this year, I wasn't sure whether I should go over there or stay where I was. I wasn't even sure where Bella and I stood with each other.

The clock turned to 12:01 am. I grabbed my phone only to discover that it was dead. Maybe it was a sign that I shouldn't call her. Or maybe you should have just charged your phone and stop trying to find excuses. I sighed wanting to kick myself for trying to find a reason to not make contact.

As the time on the clock changed once again and again and again, I stood up from my bed and grabbed a pair of jeans. I walked over to my balcony and opened the curtain to begin my journey next door. Even if, going over there meant that it would be awkward.

But as I stepped out onto the balcony, I noticed that the lights in her room were turned off. She's probably sleeping. Normally, that didn't stop me either.

Things have gotten too complicated.

With another sigh, I turned and stepped back into my room. Closing the balcony door behind me and locking it, I changed back into my pajama pants and climbed into my bed.

Maybe things will go back to normal…someday.

~~~CWTL~~~

Knock-Knock

"Come in," I said. The door opened and Alice walked in. "Since when do you knock?" I asked her. Alice never knocked. She usually just barged in wherever and whenever she pleased.

"When I don't knock, you whine. When I do, you whine. There's no winning with you." she said as she sat down on my bed. I rolled my eyes at her before walking into my closet to change out of the sweats I had put on after my shower.

"I was wondering how you were feeling?" Alice asked.

"How am I feeling about what?"

"Don't play dumb, Edward. Have you spoken to Bella at all?" She asked me.

"No." I told her after a few moments of silence. I had actually thought about lying to her and saying that we had spoken briefly and it's all water under the bridge. But it isn't true and I know that she would have known I was lying.

"Why not?" she said as I heard her shuffling around my room. I quickly slipped on a pair of slacks and a grabbed a light blue button down and slipped it on. I walked out of the closet, buttoning up my shirt. "I'm waiting for an answer."

"Because, Alice. Look, she's been avoiding me like I'm the plague or something." I told her. Alice shook her head.

"Can you blame her?" she asked me. "The girl has been in love with you since she was 14. You guys have history. And to make matters worse, she's engaged to be married and she loves her fiancé as well. She's just trying to figure everything out."

"I get that, I'm just at torn as she is. Besides it's not like she's said anything to you about it." I told her. Alice looked out at her fingers. I furrowed my eyebrows. "Has she said something about the kiss or me to you?"

Alice sighed and shook her head. "No, she hasn't said anything to me. Not about the kiss, not about you, not about anything. She won't bring you up. And if I even try to bring you up, she either shuts me down, changes the subject, or gives me one word answers. I haven't gotten anything out of her and…" she trailed off. I sat down on the bed next to her. Alice looked a little sad.

"Alice, what's wrong?" I asked her.

"It's just…Bella's supposed to be my best friend. She always confides in me. And lately she hasn't. She's closed off a bit and she's faking a smile every time. I know you two are incredibly close, but Edward, if you don't fix what's going on between you two, I don't know, I get this feeling that we'll lose her." Alice told me with tears in her eyes. I pulled her into a hug.

Unfortunately, I was scared of the same thing. But I hadn't stopped to think about the fact that I wasn't the only one who was in danger of losing Bella. Because of what had occurred, Bella wouldn't feel comfortable sharing with Alice because she wouldn't Alice to be torn between her and me.

"Don't worry, Alice. I'll try and fix this. But you don't worry. You'll never have to worry about losing Bella." I promised her. And it was a promise I intended to keep no matter what I had to do.

~~CWTL~~

We were all sitting in the private room in Angelo's aka Bella's favorite restaurant waiting for her and her family to arrive. I had yet to call her or even send her a simple text message for that matter. Quite honestly, after the conversation with Alice today, I didn't even know if a simple text would cut it.

A few minutes after we had arrived, the door opened and Bella and her family stepped in. When my eyes landed on her, I felt my breath hitch in my throat. She looked beautiful in her black lace dress. She was showing just enough skin to look sexy. And like always, she left me breathless.

There were multiple shouts of Happy Birthday in her direction. She went around the room saying hello and greeting everyone. I sat down next to Jasper. My parents didn't know that we hadn't spoken in almost a month or that we had kissed. They would know something was up if Bella and I didn't greet each other.

I stood up and made my way over to Bella. She held eye contact with me and walked straight towards me. She wasn't going to avoid me and I wasn't going to avoid her.

"Hey," she said stopping in front of me.

"Hi, Happy Birthday," I told her.

"Thanks," she answered back. It was awkward standing there. Neither of us said anything. I wanted to pull her to the side and talk to her privately but this was neither the time nor the place to do so. It would be too obvious to everyone in the room that something was happening.

Fortunately, (or unfortunately depending how you see it), neither of us got a chance to say anything else because Jacob came up and ushered Bella to sit down. But of course, her seat was right across from mine.

Awkward and Tense. That's the only way to describe this whole thing right now between us. We're best friends. We shouldn't be this way.

As the conversation flowed around the table, I saw Bella keeping up and talking with everyone. Emmett, who was sitting on the other side of me, was busy going on about the Baseball game last night. I wasn't really paying attention to what he was telling me but I nodded at all the right moments…I hope.

Bella's hand was resting on the table. I wanted to reach over and grab it and tell her that everything would be okay and that we could work it out. But instead I just turned my attention back to Emmett because I couldn't bring myself to do that.

I felt her eyes on me though. And I turned my attention back towards her but just as we made eye contact, she looked back towards Jacob. I saw that familiar red color on her skin as her face flushed. I knew that she could feel my eyes on her. But she never turned her head back to me.

~~CWTL~~

We were halfway through dinner when Bella excused herself for the restroom. Follow her, the voice inside my head said. But I stayed where I was. I looked around the table and saw Alice looking towards the door where Bella has disappeared through. She briefly met my eyes before turning to her conversation with Rosalie.

I took a drink of my water before the excusing myself as well.

I walked out of the room and down the hall where the bathrooms were located. Just as I got to the door of the women's bathroom it opened and Bella bumped into me.

"Sorry," she said before noticing me standing in front of her. She quickly shut her mouth and moved around me to head back to the room. Say something before he gets away.

"Bella, I—" I began to say causing her to turn around and look at me.

"What?" she asked. Tell her, you're sorry about the kiss. Tell her, you love her. Beg her not to marry Jacob. Same something!

But instead I closed my mouth again and ran a hand through my hair pulling slightly on the ends. She bit her lower lip and I wanted nothing more than to pull that lip into my mouth. Instead, I shook my head.

"Never mind," I said before turning and quickly walking into the men's bathroom. I stood behind the closed door and listened as her heels clicked with the sound of her walking away. When I didn't hear the sound of her shoes, I rested my head on the bathroom door.

You, Edward Anthony Cullen, are a coward. I sighed and walked over to the sink. I didn't tell her. I couldn't tell her. I wanted to tell her but I couldn't. But I saw something in her eyes. There was something in them, almost like she was hoping I would say something but at the same time they seemed guarded.

Frustrated, I yanked at my hair once again. We needed to talk and time was running out. But am I really selfish enough to want to tell her to leave Jacob?

Poor Edward, he's still so torn as to what to do.

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