AN: Thank you to I'm-the-bang-to-your-fang for helping me out with this chapter xx
WARNING: This chapter is a very sensitive topic and may cause some dismay and possible tears!
ALL RIGHTS GO TO RACHEL CAINE!
Chapter twenty-nine
Joanne's POV
Sitting up in this lumpy hospital bed reading my favourite magazine is the only thing that is keeping me occupied. Lewis had to leave yesterday to go attend to some big warden mission; of course I naturally wanted to go as well. But Lewis told me firmly that I couldn't, plus I had the doctor's on my butt telling me that I can't go anywhere while I'm recovering. They still think that my baby is in danger, and if they believe that, well, then I should listen to them. I will not lose my baby because I was being stubborn and wanted to be out and in action rather than bed resting.
Just then the door opens and Marion walks in with Paul following closely behind her. They look sad and they wouldn't meet my eyes. I knew instantly that something horrendous has happened. I mean, why else would they be here? To check on me? Yeah right…
"Jo, we have some really bad news" Paul tells me, finally raising his eyes to meet mine.
"It's Lewis; he's dead" Marion carries on; breaking the bad news to me. I automatically move my hand over my mouth to stifle the sob that was instantly released. Tears began pouring like rivers down my cheeks as I look at them through blurred vision.
"How?" I whisper through the sob and tears that refused to stop or slow down.
"Fire, I think you don't want the details. At least not now anyway. We're really sorry Jo, you know we'll offer you any support you need with not only your mental and emotional health but with the baby as well" Paul guarantees me.
"Go. Just go, please" I shout the first bit, but by the time I have finished it was no more than a whisper. They did as asked and left the room; left me to cry out my sorrows. Leaving me to mourn the one person I ever truly loved.
I bury my head in my pillow and just cry and cry until I was sure there were no tears left. Somehow, I ended up crying myself to sleep.
*Time skip*
I grit my teeth as yet another wave of pain shoots over me. God, it can't be long now. I've been in here for hours!
"That's it Jo, just keep breathing. Everything will be okay, I promise" came the calm, soothing voice that I have grown accustomed to. I turn my head to the side slightly so I can look at the familiar face next to me. After Lewis died, God rest his soul, David stuck around with me. Somehow, I don't know how, David managed to get released and instead of going about whatever he would have done before he got imprisoned, he stayed with me.
He was nothing compared to Lewis, but I appreciate David with all my heart. I don't know how I would have made it through those months without Lewis; I went through a very dark depression session after Lewis. I couldn't live without him, still struggle to do now. The only thing that kept me going is knowing that Lewis was depending on me to have and care for his child. This baby is the only thing I have left to remember Lewis by. This is his last connection to the living, and that thought alone reduced me to tears just as another wave hit me.
"Okay, I want you to push on your next contraction" the doctor tells me and I nod meekly. As soon as I felt the contraction attack me, I pushed with all my might. It took a few more pushes, and plenty of tears, before my baby was born. The soft crying flooding my ears, much to my relief. This is real; I am finally having my baby in my arms. Mine and Lewis'. I will love and raise our baby for the both of us, I will always love and miss Lewis but right now our baby needs me.
"Congratulations, it's a baby girl" the doctor tells me before she passes me my baby girl. She is so beautiful that it was heart-breaking. She looks so much like Lewis.
With that thought I burst into tears again, David offers me a soft smile before taking my baby from me so I could properly cry. I need to pull myself together, my baby girl is here now and I need to be there for her no matter what.
"What you going to call this little cutie then, Jo?" David asks and I look at my child. Never letting my gaze leave her I indicate for David to pass her back to me. He complies and passes her back; looking into her gentle brown eyes I knew exactly what to call her.
"Raine" I reply, the name I had heard in one of my other dreams. It was perfect.
*Another time skip*
"Have you heard Raine cry?" I ask David when I come back into the living room from my shower. He shakes his head at me offering me a small smile. Me and David don't go out but I allowed him to stay with me. I felt safe having him around and he's been a big help with Raine.
"I'm just going to go check on her" I tell him as I walk into her room. She usually cries at the slightest sound, she's a very light sleeper. I walk over to her cot to see that she's not moving. I start to panic as I check for a pulse; not finding one. I felt the tears drop down my cheeks as I shake her gently, hoping that she was just having a heavy sleep.
I still got no response so I shouted for David and he was soon by my side looking over at Raine. He gave my hand a light squeeze before waking over to her cot; he turns back to me and shakes his head.
"No" I whisper as the tears speed up and I collapse on the floor. Why do I have to lose everything and everyone I love? It's not fair; it's just not fair….
I felt someone shaking me as they frantically call my name making me suddenly shoot up in bed. My eyes drenched and a massive wet patch on my pillow. I was back at home and Lewis was sat next to me searching my face. Without thinking I throw myself into his arms where he holds me close. He was alive; it was all a dream. It was all just a dream. A nightmare more like. One that I wouldn't wish upon anyone.
"Hey, shhh, I have you. That must have been a really bad nightmare. You were thrashing around crying out something along the lines of 'why me?'" he informs me and I just nod my head meekly. I couldn't bring myself to tell him. Not yet, I was too emotionally exhausted to go through that pain again.
