"Comfortable?" Rina asks as she sits cross-legged across from Sam on a blanket she keeps in the back of her car.

"Sure," Sam answers with hesitation. She's nuts for getting him to do this. There's no way that with all the shit barreling through his head at all moments of his life that this is going to work for him.

"Ok, first of all you need to relax." Rina laughs quietly while watching him. He plopped down on the blanket with heavy defiance, determined for this not to work for him. "I can't get you to find a clear and stress free frame of mind if you're going to be so pigheaded."

She makes a good point but in his head he can already hear Dean taunting him, calling him a girl and offering to buy him a new pair of yoga pants.

"Now, sit with your back tall," Rina asks of him as she herself straightens her back with her hands on her knees. Sam follows her lead and does the same. "Good, now just close your eyes most of the way…"

"Most of the way?" Sam has to question.

"Yeah, so you don't just fall asleep or something," she smiles. "And listen to my voice and I'll get you through."

Sighing heavily, Sam once more does like he's instructed.

"Focus on your breathing," she tells him, watching him closely to make sure he's actually following along with her. "In and out through your nose. Nice and easy. That's all you need to think about."

Sam hones in on the sound of air whooshing into his nostrils and back out again. It's all he can hear besides her voice when she talks and the rushing water of the passing stream in the park they're in across from their motel. And then his heart begins to pound. He tries not to think about everything but on the fringes of his thoughts the Apocalypse, Lucifer, Dean and Lizzy… it all threatens to push into the forefront of his mind.

Seeing Sam's brow wrinkle, Rina talks him back on track. "Your brain wants to take over and it wants to make you recognize all the issues that stress you in life. Now is when you tell your brain no and you focus even harder on your breathing."

Determined, he listens specifically to the flow of air again.

"In and out. Nice and easy."

He listens well and can feel the thoughts finally start to fade away into the background, his breathing the only thing he's focused on. Soon enough Sam finds himself in a calm, perfect place where nothing really exists except for himself. There is no pain, no anger, no disappointment or hatred or even sadness. He's just being. It's wonderful.

Sitting within the wide open spaces of his unspoiled thoughts, it feels far too soon when he can hear Rina's voice calling to him.

"Sam?" she soothingly states his name like it's the most important work in the English language. Before even opening his eyes he smiles with the sound of it. As much as he would love to spend the entire day meditating like this, he pulls open his lids and sees her sitting across from him.

"Holy shit," he grins at her. "That actually worked."

"Good!" she cheers happily. "How do you feel?"

"Better," Sam nods, telling the absolute truth. "A lot better."

"Are you angry?"

"Ah, no," he tells her with narrowed eyes. "Why would I be angry anyways?"

"It was just something Lizzy mentioned," Rina cautiously explains. "She might've said you, um, hold a lot of anger within you."

"Who knew she was so damn observant," Sam remarks as he hadn't noticed that Lizzy picked up on that. Clearly he should have.

"Well I just figured that I could show you a way to kind of counteracting the fire," she further explains. "Having the grandmother that I do I sometimes find myself toppling over with fury. I've found that meditating a few times a week helps. For you though, I'd say at least once a day." She laughs quietly.

"I'll keep it in mind," Sam promises. Thinking about it, it could seriously help him. He does bottle that anger up like a champ but there's only so much space inside said bottle. He's bound to spring a leak soon if he doesn't deal with it. Might as well start now.

"Please do," she returns, so glad she could help.


"You know what's great about it just being the two of us?" Lizzy asks Dean as she lounges on the bed closest to the door of their motel room out of sheer instinct. She only has on her thin strapped tank top and a small, ass cheek contouring pair of undies. The room was warm and it was just perfect for lounging in not a whole lot, especially since Sam wasn't there.

"Not yet," Dean jests while walking to her. He hands over a beer to her and keeps the other for himself. He flops onto the same bed and lies horizontally across it, just behind her.

"Not having to wear pants." Lizzy giggles a bit, a side effect of the joint they just shared.

"I don't ever want you to wear pants ever again," Dean adds his two cents in, reaching forward and grabbing her ass hard. "Fucking burn them all, I say."

"I'm sure you'd love that," she laughs over her shoulder before taking a long pull from her beer. She's feeling damn good right about now. Several beers and whiskey shots at a local dive along with the joint she rolled once they got back is putting her in a beautiful, fucked-up place. Lizzy has loved getting her party on since before she can remember and her night right now is harking back to the good old days with Lou. Get trashed, mellow out, and relax They were always good at this.

"Of course I would," Dean returns, his own brain fogged by substance intake. It took a lot these days to get him to this beautiful place, were a foggy haze made life bearable and allowed him to focus on the best things in life only. Right now, the alcohol and marijuana had him fully focused on the shape of her body. The perfect, curvy shape of her body. "You're just… mmm." All he's able to do is hum a sound of delicious appreciation as his free hand continues to roam without shame.

"Seriously?" Lizzy asks with honest surprise as she turns over, lying on her back and looking at him with slight shock.

"Seriously, what?" Dean has to ask, another sip of beer taken down as his hand continues to explore her, smoothing over her skin and clothing with innocent intent. He really was just simply in awe of her still to this day.

"I don't know…" she starts while looking at him hard in the eye. "Just shocked that you aren't sick of me, or my body, yet."

Wide green eyes stare back at her with disbelief.

"Oh, come on," Lizzy tried to make light of the situation. "You were used to different chick, a different body and personality, every night. For a long time your life was not like it is now."

"True," Dean nods, not getting her point exactly.

Lizzy rolls over a little more, coming face to face with Dean as they both lie on their sides. "And for a long ass time it's been just one chick, just one body and one way of doing things day in and day out."

"Still not quite grasping your point," Dean tells her, taking another long drag from his beer as he starts to see the seriousness of her conversation.

"My point is… don't you get bored?" Lizzy asks with full honesty. This is something she's thought about several times with their relationship. Dean had many women before her and was used to a new face, a new experience every time he got into bed. She always thought that maybe he missed that. He was after all forced into this relationship by the angels. He didn't choose her, neither did she choose him. Deep down though she knows that whether the angels told her to or not, she would have picked Dean over anyone else. Sure, heaven took it upon itself to strengthen what they have and made it undeniable, but still Lizzy thinks she'd go with Dean, horrid flaws and all, every time. But she was never sure that a good, solid, sexy man like Dean would ever pick a drunken, loud, stubborn, highly emotional and slightly trampy woman such as herself.

"You don't ever give me the chance to be bored," Dean rebuts with a slick smile as he scoots closer to her, closing the space between them. Lizzy and he did a pretty damn good job of keeping it interesting.

"Yeah, yeah…" Lizzy brushes aside with a smile. "I mean, do you ever get tired of the same person every day?"

Narrowed eyes peering at her, Dean asks, "What's going on here?"

She smiles sweetly and drops a hand onto his cheek. "I have no delusions about you Dean. I know what you used to be and a one woman man you were not."

"Ok…?" Dean asks with hesitance, not liking how the conversation is going. Sure, he was a bit whorish in his previous life but now is different.

"So… I was wondering," Lizzy tries again. "Do you ever miss it? The thrill of a new girl, the fun of finding out what she's about… just the ever changing, always new part of it all?"

"You're crazy, right?" Dean asks her with honest confusion.

"No," Lizzy easily says with a smirk. "Last I checked I was still sane as can be."

"You've never been sane a day in your life," he denies her instantly with a smirk.

"Just answer the question, smart ass."

"Trust me when I tell you that I will never, ever get tired of you," Dean tells her, looking straight into her eyes and meaning what he says completely.

"You really don't miss the chase?" Lizzy asks, a little surprised at him. When he'd met her Dean truly did a total turn around but she had to wonder if he misses what he gave up even a little.

"Nope," Dean doesn't lie one bit. "I know how much better off I am now. Before you I never knew what I was getting each time I was with a chick. With you, I know I'm getting something awesome every time. That seems like a good deal to me."

Lizzy smiles and nods.

"You're not convinced."

"Truthfully, for a long time I felt like I was taking a wild animal and caging him, so no, I don't totally believe you," Lizzy tells him completely truthfully.

Dean sighs with eyes narrowed in her direction. He takes both their beer bottles and places them on the nightstand before crawling over her as she lies back.

"L, you showed up in my life at the perfect time," Dean tells her as she cups his face. "I lost my dad, Sam was going nuts with psychic shit, and I was drowning. I was scamming chicks left and right and getting drunk constantly to just to numb the pain a little bit and make everything feel just a little lighter." He lowers himself so that his body is pressed against hers. "Then I walked into Bobby's house and… there you were. You…" Dean pauses. He looks her over and smiles genuinely. "How could I ever miss anything I had before you? I had one night stands and the weight of the entire world on my shoulders. You are the first thing that has ever been able to change me, get through to me, actually make me better."

"Sounds pretty familiar to me," Lizzy jests lightly.

"What do you mean?" Dean wonders.

"Shit, I was a fucking disaster when I met you," Lizzy lets him know, shocked he never saw it. "I was doing the same damn thing. I was drunk most of the time and after being on the road for a couple years I was… lonely. I never had anyone steady in my life aside from Lou and it was wearing on me. I was fucking my way through the male population of the United States slowly but surely just to remember what it was like to have someone even if it was only for a couple of hours. I lost my parents, blamed myself for Lou's parents being gone too, blamed myself for Lou's life… I never dealt with it all. I needed something, or someone, to come and understand me and remind me of what it was I needed. You did that for me."

"So you were slutty?" Dean surmises with a smirk.

"Why do you think every demon likes to immediately call me slut or whore or tramp…"

"They do that a lot, don't they?" Dean responds, realizing now that she always gets called out by angels, demons, or whatever else for being loose.

"Yeah, they do!" Lizzy laughs a bit at this. "And it's getting kinda old!"

Dean lowers his head, kissing her once with love to make sure she knows that he doesn't see her that way. Not at all.

"I was a mess just like you were," Lizzy continues when he ends their kiss. "And you, you were so… broken too." She laughs slightly, knowing how true it was. "But you… you liked me. Not because of what I looked like…"

"It didn't hurt," Dean interjects honestly.

"Well, you still liked me even if you thought I was hot. You actually wanted to know who I was. You immediately saw that I was flawed and angry and you actually tried to help me the second you thought you could. I mean, I knew you wanted to get into my pants but I never once felt like that was your soul motivation."

"So now, after everything you just said, I have to ask…" Dean turns the tables. "Do you miss slutting around?"

"Oh God no," Lizzy answers instantly, not needing a second to even think about it.

"Then we're on the same page."

Smiling wide, the butterflies still flapping around in her stomach, Lizzy thinks she might have fallen in love with him once more.

"You ever gonna let the rest of the world know that you're actually a good guy who says nice things like that?" Lizzy asks him, knowing not another person on the Earth would believe her if she told them who the real Dean Winchester is.

"Nah. I like that the rest of the world thinks you're fucking insane for marrying me."

Lizzy laughs loudly at this one. "Oh, they so do!"

"And I like that they think I'm the luckiest bastard there is," he further explains.

"Aren't you?" she challenges.

"Well, yeah," Dean wholeheartedly agrees that he is just that lucky. "Just trust me when I say that I am fine with my life and the lack of bar flies in it right now. I got you and that's pretty fucking awesome."

"Yeah, I am awesome…" Lizzy trails off as Dean kisses her again, this time without pulling away.