Lilly had sat next to Ben in the infirmary for four hours next to April's bedside. They were waiting and praying for her to wake up. And guilt ate her alive.

Ben hadn't spoken to her once.

She didn't blame him.

It was starting to get late, but Lilly just wanted to hold April's hand before she went to bed. If she could sleep at all.

April was still breathing, and it had also been confirmed that she was still pregnant too. So this gave Lilly a small fleck of hope that she could hold on to.

Levi showed up in the doorway and Lilly gazed up at him.

He had come to retrieve her.

Probably make sure she ate something. He already forced her to shower before she came here. He was making sure she was taking care of herself properly despite how torn up she felt inside. Lilly knew it was because he knew how hard it was.

To go through something like this.

Only he probably didn't have anyone to make him eat.

He had himself.

Lilly stood and kissed April's forehead before turning to exit the room with Levi. They walked through the infirmary halls, passing busy nurses on the way out.

"Did Ben speak with you?" Levi asked.

"No. Why would he?" Lilly said as she looked down at her feet as she walked.

Levi was silent after that. He probably agreed.

Once inside the Mess Hall, Levi and Lilly sat next to each other quietly. Lilly rolled her peas on her plate with her fork and rested her head on her palm that was propped up by her elbow on the table. She tried stacking the peas on top of each other as Levi watched from behind his teacup.

"Stop playing with your food." He scolded in a low tone.

"I'm not hungry." She said.

"I don't really care if you're hungry or not. Get a grip and eat your food." He said sternly as he sipped his tea.

Lilly sighed and looked down at her plate. He was right. She needed to not let her emotions rule her right now. He reached his other hand down and rested it on her leg gently, as to remind her he cared.

She lifted a fork full of peas to her mouth and chewed.

She reached for her tea and took a sip. She felt like she was forcing herself to eat and drink, her stomach fighting her with each bite. She nibbles on her bread roll and could hardly bring it down. She just felt miserable.

She just wanted to know her friend and her baby were going to make it.

But she was lucky to have Levi snap her in place. She needed it.

She was a soldier first before anything. That's what he always said to her.

"Can I sleep in your bed again tonight?" Lilly asked as she stabbed a carrot with her fork.

Levi put his cup down and glanced at her.

"Tonight ...fine. But we can't make a habit of it." He said.

But he didn't fight her when she showed up to his room every night, three nights in a row that week.

Lilly couldn't take it, sleeping in her bunk room alone. Each day that passed and April didn't wake up, the worse Lilly's worry grew. She'd cling to Levi every night, burying her face in his chest as he ran his fingers through her hair. She'd take the tincture every night, and take more than the usual dosage just so she could get some sleep. She'd sleep until noon every morning but Levi didn't stop her.

Not until the fourth day that April was still unconscious.

...

*Levi POV*

Levi had been up since dawn observing the scouts train in the ODM course. He had left Lilly in bed. She had created a terrible habit of sleeping past noon since her friend came back unconscious. Each day, Lilly's will to do anything diminished as her guilt ate at her. Levi tried his best to uplift her, but he wasn't necessarily the best at that kind of thing. Sometimes his words came out wrong. Or they didn't sound as good coming out as they did in his head. It was always that way.

He didn't like to say things anyways.

He rather just do them.

So instead he tried to uplift her through his actions. She responded positively to touch. That was well established. He himself wasn't that much different in that sense. He'd hold her as she needed, and he even washed her back as she soaked in the tub the night before. She clung tightly to him every night, sometimes crying quietly into his chest. He'd plant kisses on the top of her head until she'd doze off, her breath still quivering in her sleep.

But despite his efforts, she was getting worse. And her friend was getting weaker everyday. Lilly was facing the reality that her best friend may die.

And she was struggling knowing she could have prevented it.

Lilly was picking at her food, not brushing her hair. Moping around everywhere she went.

She was a mess.

And it hurt.

Levi was on his way back to his office once it was 9 am. He was going to wake her up and get her moving again.

He was thankful his leg was definitely getting better, and he wasn't going to be sitting in an office all day. These soldiers needed his direction more than ever now. That's why he'd gotten up to go to the ODM course to oversee their training that morning.

"Ah Levi, I was looking to speak with you." Commander Erwin said as he came up from behind Levi.

"What is it?" Levi asked.

"Can we speak in your office?" Erwin asked.

Levi nodded as he turned the doorknob and opened the door to his office.

Both he and Erwin froze when they saw Lilly in her sheer nightgown with her back turned to them while she made tea. Her hair was a tangled mess, and the straps of her gown were falling down her shoulders. It was far too revealing for Levi's comfort, and Erwin's eyes were glued to her.

What was she doing downstairs in that?

She lazily turned her head to look at them, revealing the dark bags under her eyes that could rival his own. She then looked away with a heavy sigh before making her way up to Levi's room with her tea and shutting the door at the top of the stairs.

Levi pinched the bridge of his nose as he entered his office with Erwin. He knew he was going to get reprimanded for this. They sat down quietly, with Erwin staring into Levi's eyes from across the desk.

"She needs to get out of this state Levi. This is unacceptable." Erwin said, raising his thick brows in a stern manner.

"I agree." Levi said in a low tone.

He couldn't really say much else. Lilly's state was not good, and she'd need to get it together before she was assigned to another mission.

"This is our reality. She should know this by now. She signed up for this." Erwin said.

Levi just nodded his head in agreement.

He couldn't disagree with Erwin. It was true. She did sign up for this. She knew the risks.

But Lilly had never lost someone close to her, and certainly not by her own fault.

Reality was hitting her now.

Maybe she had thought she understood what a hell this was this whole time.

But now she was just barely scratching the surface.

Levi knew he was being too easy on her. It pained him to see her in this state, and he knew she was fragile during this time. She brought out a different side of him, and maybe this side wasn't helping her situation. But again, Erwin was right. She needed to get back on her feet and keep fighting.

Because even hell could get comfortable once you've settled in.

"I will speak to her." Levi said as he leaned back.

"Good. I expect her to be in proper mental state in three days time. She is going to be stationed in Stohess as support in the capture operation. I need our best soldiers. We can't afford to lose anymore of them, Levi." Erwin said as he rose from his seat.

"Yes Sir." Levi said in a low voice.

"Not to titans, not to depression, and not to motherhood." Erwin raised a thick brow.

Levi's eyes darted back up to Erwin as he grabbed the doorknob.

"I trust you will not let this become a distraction, Levi." Erwin said quietly as he exited the room, leaving Levi alone in his office.

...

*Lilly POV*

Lilly sat in Levi's chair quietly while holding her mug in her pale hands. Her hair was a knotted mess around her face. Her arms felt weak, and all she wanted to do was sleep. If she slept, it'd pass the time. She wouldn't have to be awake, and her thoughts wouldn't torment her.

It had been four days, and April still hadn't awakened. And Ben grew hopeless. He had bought a small home in Trost with his saved wages for April to go home to. But now he was facing the fact that house may never house his lover and child.

Lilly could have changed that.

Just then she heard footsteps going up the stairs. The door swung open and Levi stood there with a scowl on his face.

Lilly looked down at her tea and sighed.

"Get up." Levi said.

Lilly looked at him with half-lidded eyes.

"I said get up!" Levi barked.

Lilly jumped and dropped the cup onto the ground, sending tea and broken glass across the floorboards.

Lilly quickly stumbled to the ground and started picking up the pieces of glass. A black boot stood before her. She gazed up at the scowling person attached to it. Levi's eyes were dark and emotionless as he stared down at her.

"This ends today." He said in a stern tone.

"What?" Lilly asked quietly as she dumped the glass into a wooden trash pale not far from where she was knelt down.

"This. You're being weak. I can't stand it." Levi said plainly as he walked across the room to grab the mop. "It hurts to see you this way." He said as he turned his face away.

"Levi I-"

"Don't talk. Just clean, brush your hair, and get dressed. You are training today. This is an order." He said as he handed her the mop.

Lilly frowned as she mopped the tea off the floor. She placed the mop back in the corner after wringing it out and then walked over to the nightstand where her brush was sitting. Levi sat in his chair and watched Lilly with a stern expression as she picked the brush up.

She held the rough wooden brush in her fingers and sighed before sectioning out a layer of hair to brush out. She sat in the edge of the bed while she brushed through each section. She winced as she ripped through the knots.

How could she let it get this bad?

Just then she watched as Levi opened a drawer and pulled out a pair of shining silver shears. He faced her and started heading towards her with them.

"Um what do you think you're doing?" Lilly backed away on the bed.

"Something that should have been done a while ago. Your fucking hair is too long now, and it's becoming a safety hazard." Levi said as he sat beside her.

"Levi, I can't cut it." Lilly held her hair in her hands.

"I'm cutting it." He said.

"Please Levi." Lilly said quietly.

"You can't even take care of it Lilly. Look at it. It's impractical. Especially for a soldier." He said as he took the brush from her hand.

Her father loved her hair long. She held her silver pendant necklace in her hand.

But it was getting harder to take care of...

"Please, not too short." Lilly said quietly as she turned her back to him.

"The longest I'll go is to the ends of your shoulder blades." He said sternly.

"Mid-back." Lilly said.

"No." He said.

"Yes." She said as she turned to face him.

He was scowling at her.

"Please?" She asked as she leaned to kiss the corner of his mouth.

She then planted another kiss on his serious mouth. She felt him sigh out his nose.

"Turn around." He said.

Lilly turned obediently and sat up straight. She could feel his fingers running through her hair as he began to snip away at her pale locks. She was nervous as they hadn't exactly agreed upon the length of her hair. She thought mid-back would be good enough considering her hair was almost at her tail bone currently. About ten minutes later she felt him drop both his hands and stand up. Lilly stood too and instantly reached up to feel her hair.

It was mid-back length.

Lilly smiled in relief and turned to him as she dropped her fingers.

"Thank you." Lilly said quietly.

"You're welcome. Now pick up all this hair." He said as he put the shears back in his drawer. "Meet me at the clearing." He said as he left the room.

Lilly looked down at the hair on the floor and sighed.

Time to start again.

...

Lilly walked out to the training area in full uniform like Levi had told her to. She cut through the wooded area to get to the clearing faster, and she could see Levi cleaning something glistening in the distance. She ran her fingers across the rough bark of the trees as she walked past them.

Levi's eyes darted to her once she neared. Her eyes widened when she saw he was holding a knife. She froze in her steps and looked around her cautiously.

Why did he have a knife?

"Come here." He ordered.

Lilly carefully stepped forward as she got a closer look at his knife.

"What are you doing? She asked.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Levi asked.

Lilly huffed.

"You know what I mean." She said.

Levi handed her the knife.

"You are training." He said as he stepped back.

"With a knife?" Lilly asked nervously.

"Yes, with a knife." Levi said.

"But how?" She asked.

"You're going to learn how to fight with a knife. But we will start with how to hold one."

Lilly looked at him with wide eyes.

"Um Levi, I don't know.."

"Thumb on top, fingers on the bottom." Levi said as he waited for her to do as he said.

Lilly held the knife as he said and he looked down at her hand. He reached his hand out and adjusted her fingers a bit.

"This is the outward position." Levi said as he held her arm up.

Lilly was loose in his grip so she could move to where he wanted her to move to. She listened carefully as he gave her these directions.

"This is chamber position." He said as he moved her arm.

Why was he teaching her how to fight with a knife now? Was she going to need to soon?

"Now try to attack me." Levi said.

"What? No way." Lilly said.

"That's an order." Levi said.

Lilly's hands began to shake. She stepped forward and slowly lunged out to him, knowing she gave him more than enough time to move. It probably looked quite pathetic.

"Tch. Lilly you can go faster than that. I'm trying to teach you how to deflect blows."

"Why?" Lilly asked as she lunged faster.

He skillfully blocked her and disarmed her, bending her arm in an uncomfortable manner.

"Erwin has ordered you partake in the capturing operation in Stohess as lead support. You may have to fight the suspect before they enter their titan form. That's the goal anyways." Levi said as he twirled the knife in his fingers. "The female titan showed great hand to hand combat skill, so this tells us she knows how to fight. You need to be ready for anything." He said.

"Oh, I see..." Lilly frowned.

Would she come face to face with the suspect? Would she have to fight her?

Would April even be alive by then?

"I also took you here because I'm sick of seeing you wallow in self pity." Levi glared at her.

Lilly's mouth dropped stupidly.

"I'm not pitying myself." Lilly said.

"It's not up for debate." Levi stood in a fighting stance.

"What are you doing?" Lilly asked as she took a step back.

"Defend yourself." Levi said as he lunged at her.

She quickly deflected his block, but he turned and tripped her. She landed on her bottom and quickly got to her feet as he turned to lunge at her again. She blocked his arm with hers but stalled, in fear she'd hurt his leg. He quickly pushed her to the ground and she turned to get to her hands and knees. She went to pull herself up but she felt him grab her by her ankle and pull. She grunted as her chin hit the ground. She felt tiny pebbles imprint themselves in her chin as she was dragged. She tried to kick her feet to free them, but he had a good grip on her.

"If someone wanted to kidnap you or have their way with you, you'd make it too easy." He said as he dragged her through the grass.

She gripped onto the grass to try and keep him from pulling her further but she ended up just pulling chunks of grass from the ground.

"Have their way with me, huh?" She asked before grabbing onto the water canteen that he dragged her past and she turned and whipped it at his head.

He let go and turned to face her with the knife. She stood up quickly and looked down at her grass stained shirt which had unbuttoned halfway down, revealing her bra. Her face flushed as she watched Levi step forward. She instinctively backed up. He then swiftly lunged, and she turned on her heel and ran for the trees. She ran as fast as she could through the woods and then finally hid behind a thick tree, hoping she was well hidden. She didn't like this training. But it was waking her up and testing her instincts for sure.

Perhaps that was his goal.

She knew Levi wouldn't hurt her, but it didn't change how scary it felt to be hunted down with a knife.

Like a wild animal. They way he was stalking her in the woods was much like a wolf.

Quiet and stealthy.

She leaned against the tree to catch her breath. She was breathing too heavy and put her hand up to her mouth to quiet herself. She could hear him coming closer.

"I can hear you breathing, brat." Levi said in a predatory tone.

Lilly quietly bent over and grabbed a rock. She then threw it from behind the tree and heard it land in some bushes.

Hopefully that'd distract him so she could run. She peeked from behind the tree and saw him looking her way. His eyes had locked on her and he started to sprint after her.

He was good.

Lilly quickly turned and ran in the other direction. She could hear him closing in on her as she neared a rise in the terrain. She threw herself onto the hill with a grunt and started climbing, but her feet wouldn't stay planted because of the wet leaves caked to the ground. She slid down in the mud and leaves and suddenly she heard him breathing behind her. She quickly grabbed a handful of wet leaves and threw it at his face before climbing up the hill and reaching for a thin tree to pull herself up the rest of the way.

Was he going to let her go now? Was the training over?

Them she heard him come up for her as he successfully climbed through the slick leaves. But he increased his speed now and just missed her ankle when he reached the top.

"Levi can we stop?!" Lilly shouted as she ran.

"When I catch you. You're too damn slow." He said as he ran.

Lilly picked up a branch and faced him in a fighting position.

When he caught her. More like if he caught her.

Levi halted with the knife in his hand and looked at Lilly with a slight hint of amusement. His black hair was dangling in his eyes as he stared at her. Dirt was on his face from the leaves she'd thrown at him. He raised his arm to wipe it off his face.

He however looked handsome to her even when he was dirty.

"Don't come any closer!" She shouted nervously.

Levi instantly lunged and Lilly lifted the branch and blocked the attack. He tried to grab onto her shirt to pull her down but the rest of the buttons popped open. Lilly scowled at him and attacked with the branch, but Levi quickly grabbed the branch and snapped it over his thigh. Lilly then wound up her fist and went for a blow, but Levi grabbed her arm and swung her against the trunk of the tree. He pressed himself against her while he held the knife lightly to her throat.

"A stick? Really?" He said as he breathed just and inch from her face.

"I was trying to use what was around me." Lilly breathed as he pulled the knife back into his belt.

"I took note of that. But, you're too fucking slow." He said as he reached to button her shirt, but Lilly grabbed his hand and pressed it against her bare stomach.

Just a touch before they had to head back. That's all she wanted.

His eyes met with hers as his hand traveled across her skin, caressing the soft flesh there. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the tree to just take it in.

His warmth, his touch, his strength.

The comfort it brought.

This took her away from her cruel reality.

Then she felt his lips press against hers. She kissed him back sweetly before he started to reach his hands up for her bra covered breasts. He cupped them them as he continued to kiss her, and his kisses became more needy. Lilly felt him stick his knee in between her thighs to part them against the tree. She broke the kiss for air and Levi quickly moved his kisses to her neck as his hands deftly undid her pants buttons.

"Levi.." Lilly breathed.

"Hm." He hummed as he loosened one of her belts.

"Here?" Lilly breathed as he rested his mouth at her neck.

He slid his fingers down into her panties and curved them over her entrance. Lilly gasped lightly.

"Right here." He said in a low tone. "After all, all that running you made me do... I'd say I've worked for it." Levi breathed into her ear.

Lilly looked at him with big eyes. Here in the woods? What if someone saw?

Levi pressed another kiss to Lilly's mouth before slipping a finger into her. Lilly let out a small gasp against his mouth. He began slowly inserting his finger in and out of her and she began to writhe against the tree.

"Levi, I don't know if we- sh-ould be doing this h-here." Lilly said in a quivering voice as his fingers entered her firmly.

"No one is here." Levi said against her cheek as he undid his pants.

Lilly looked around and he was correct, it was just them and the trees. She never pictured herself having sex in the forest. It was a bit thrilling for her, in a way.

He then lifted her against the tree and guided himself hungrily into her, causing Lilly to arch her back and whimper. His teeth scraped across her collarbone as he ravaged her against the tree, cursing under his breath. They continued as the cool breeze blew between them and the sound of the leaves bristling in the wind filled the air. The rough bark scraped against Lilly's rear as she was pounded roughly against it. Lilly weaved her fingers through his hair and tugged as her pleasure slowly built. He reached up and intertwined his fingers in hers and pressed her hand against the tree and slowly she felt herself start to go over.

She cried out loudly as she came, and Levi quickly covered her mouth to muffle her cries as he continued to rock his hips against her. Lights flashed behind her eyelids once more as she panted into his palm. He started breathing heavy himself and his movements were becoming less coordinated as he thrusted. He quickly withdrew himself and instantly released himself onto the ground as he breathed against her neck.

Levi carefully set Lilly back down on her feet and started to button up his pants again. Lilly leaned against the tree and pulled her pants back on, and carefully buttoned up her grass stained shirt. She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Levi's neck and pulled him in to kiss her. They kissed passionately against the tree for a few minutes until they heard a crackling in the woods behind them. Levi turned around to look, adjusting his shirt as he peered into the woods. It was Jean approaching in the distance. He had his hands in his pockets and was looking around intently.

"Jean?" Lilly spoke out.

Jean lifted his head and looked at Lilly and smiled as he jogged to her.

"Lilly I was looking for you! She's awake! April's awake!" Jean shouted as he ran to her.

He pushed past Levi and scooped Lilly up in an tight embrace. Lilly smiled wide and she felt like her heart was going to explode. She was alive. April was alive. All the weight was lifted off her shoulders. Jean's fingers lingered on her lower back a little too long before she broke the hug.

"You're sweaty..." Jean said as he pulled away from her.

"I have to go see her!" Lilly pushed herself past Jean and started to run towards headquarters with a grin on her face, leaving Jean and Levi glaring at each other.

...

Lilly ran into the infirmary and ran to the doorway of April's room. April was sitting up in bed with a plate of food on her lap. Ben was by her side smiling with relief. April looked up at Lilly and smiled.

"April I'm so sorry." Lilly walked over to her and wrapped her arms around her friend.

"Lilly, no. I owe you an apology." April said in a quiet tone.

Lilly pulled away and looked at April with a puzzled look.

"I shouldn't have asked you to keep that secret. That was wrong of me. I put myself and my baby in danger just so I could stick around with Ben a little longer. It was selfish and so stupid and I shouldn't have burdened you with it all." April blurted out.

Lilly was speechless as she stared at April. Just then Ben sat up in his chair and cleared his throat.

"I shouldn't have said what I said to you either, Lilly. I'm sorry. You've always been loyal to April. I know that." Ben said quietly.

Lilly nodded quietly and her eyes watered as she sat in the edge of the bed.

"I'm so happy you're okay." Lilly said as a tear escaped her eye.

"She's staying here till tomorrow morning. Then they are moving her to the home I bought in Trost first thing." Ben said with a smile. "So you two have time." Ben added.

"Trost isn't far from here. That's good. I'll visit whenever I can." Lilly said.

"We will be stopping at my parents first to let them know. Im really nervous, but I know they will be relieved at the same time. This military life wasn't what they wanted for me. They wanted grandchildren." April said as she picked up a piece of cheese.

"I'm looking forward to meeting the baby." Lilly smiled. "I can't believe it, still." She continued as she looked down at her feet.

"Us either. But I'm in no rush. I need to get that house ready and make it a home before the baby comes." April smiled.

"It's not very big. Our wages aren't that great after all." Ben said to April.

"It doesn't have to be." April said in a sweet voice as she held Ben's hand.

Just then Jean and Conny stopped in.

"Wow, it's pretty crowded in here April. Didn't realize you were this popular." Conny teased.

"Glad you're awake April. Close call huh?" Jean smiled.

Lilly smiled warmly when she saw how happy April was to be surrounded by her friends. They always had each other through everything, and this was no different. It was actually nice having Conny there, and it felt like their old group again. Like the old days in Radako. They all laughed and joked and talked amongst themselves until a nurse came and kicked them all out so April could rest.

Lilly had left feeling a thousand pounds lighter knowing that her friend was okay, and even more relieved that she was going to go live a normal life. She wouldn't have to worry about losing her on a mission ever again.

Even if that meant her bunk room would be empty.

Now she could turn her focus on the upcoming operation, and regain her strength. She needed to be ready for whatever was thrown at her that day.

After all, Levi wouldn't be there, no matter how wrong things went. He was able to fight, but he wasn't healed enough to use ODM gear.

Lilly was looking forward to the opportunity to have him fighting by her side on a mission once he was healed.

Soon enough.