When I woke up I was surrounded by white. Walls, sheets, ceiling, smell. I was in the hospital, I knew immediately. I turned my head and was surprised at the first person I saw.
"Ben!" I croaked more than spoke.
He had been completely spacing out. "Scout!" He jumped up.
"Water?" I suggested. I couldn't really talk, my throat was so dry.
He grabbed the pitcher and poured furiously, spilling all over the floor.
I wanted to smile but my lips were so dry they cracked. He held out the glass and I drank ravenously.
"Whoa," he said. "I don't know if you are supposed to drink like that," he said.
"Ben, I'm so thirsty," I said.
He pulled it away. "Just hang on a sec," he said. He pushed the nurse button.
No nurses came, but Soda appeared in the door. He caught sight of me and ran in, skidding on the floor
"You're up!" He said.
"I'm thirsty," I said.
Soda didn't hold back, he climbed over the rails and joined me in bed, throwing his whole body over me. A Soda hug. Some sort of alarm immediately sounded, but he didn't move, and I was glad. I tried to hug him back, confined as I was by tubes and wires.
"I missed you," he whispered in my ear.
Now about five nurses appeared. Had it been anyone but Soda, I'm sure he would have been booted out, but as it were, they just asked him to "scoot over, honey," pulled the wires and tubes out from under him and let him stay. I was so grateful. Everything always seemed better with Soda around. They gave me the OK to drink as much water as I wanted and I drank two more glasses and emptied the pitcher as everyone watched. Ben went into the bathroom to refill it.
"I see you've made some friends," I said, after the nurses checked all the machines to make sure I was still alive and left, warning Soda, "You take it easy on her, OK handsome?"
Soda grinned his biggest grin at me. "What can I say? Nurses like me!"
"How does Sandy feel about that?" I asked.
He didn't answer and there was something awkward in the silence. He changed the subject.
"How do you feel?" He asked. "You were awful sick. Thank God those guys found you, they said you coulda died if you were lost much longer." That was Soda; anything but tactful. There was no sugarcoating the truth with him.
"What? Of what?" I had never heard of anyone dying from being lost in the woods for two days. It's not like there had been a blizzard or something. I had no idea how cold it had been, but I doubted it had been even close to freezing.
"Infection. That cut on your leg. How'd you get that anyway? Pony said he didn't even know about it. It was infected and the infection got into your blood."
"I scraped it jumping out of the train." Huh. Infected. No wonder I had felt like crap.
"And you were dehydrated."
That's what happens when you sweat for two days straight without drinking anything, I figured. I thought it had only been two days, anyway.
"AND you got hypothermia, and a concussion, and a broken wrist and a sprained ankle." Soda seemed proud of himself for remembering all my specific diagnoses.
Again; logical. I remembered hitting my head on the rock, and being freezing. The thought made me shiver. The ankle was a given, though I was glad to hear that it was only a sprain. The wrist was a surprise, but I did remember how hard I had landed on it. Only then did I notice the cast on my left hand. I still pretty much ached everywhere.
Soda had mentioned Pony. "Pony came home? Where are he and Darry?" I asked.
"Pony came home two days ago. That's how we knew to go looking for you. He expected you to already be home. He thought you were with us, and we thought you were with him; we got pretty scared when we realized you were neither. He and Darry went to visit Johnny. He's in here too. And Dallas."
"What? Why?"
Soda looked at Ben, returning the pitcher to the bedside table, and then at me like he wasn't sure he should say.
"The church you were staying in… Dally went out there and took Pony and Johnny out for lunch. While they were away a fire started. There were kids there, some picnic field trip. When they got back to the church they saw the fire and went in to try to save the kids. Dally and Johnny got burned – Dall's OK but Johnny's pretty bad.
"Pony?"
"He's fine. He'll be back any minute."
I was stunned. A picnic at an abandoned church? What kind of field trip is that? And Dally was trying to save kids? He hated little kids, even me when I acted immature. Pony and Johnny I could see, but not Dally. I was silent. Maybe just like I had found out about Tim Shepard, there was more to Dallas than his image as a tough hood. Maybe Dall was out at night rescuing stranded kids and driving them home, too… Somehow I doubted it, though. Dally really did hate kids.
"Soda?"
"Yeah, baby?" It felt so good to feel his arms around me. I hugged him as best I could.
"I didn't run away. I just wanted to come home." I said.
"I know. Pony had your letter in his pocket, so it didn't get burned up. He showed us."
"Oh." Suddenly I remembered Ben was in the room.
"What are you doing here, anyway, Ben?" I realized immediately that had sounded rude, not how I had intended. I had meant: why wasn't he in school? I had no idea what day it was. I was too tired to figure it out.
Soda answered for him. "He's been trying to find you since you disappeared, just like me and Darry. We could tell Dally knew where Pony and Johnny were but we really didn't know where you were. You scared us pretty bad, Scout."
"I'm sorry." I was. So much. "I wasn't running away at first when I left either. It just happened. I just wanted to bring Pony home."
"We know. Pony told us what happened that night, how you followed him. Darry feels real bad about it all."
Soda and I just lay there. Ben stood up. "I'm gonna go get Darry and Pony," he said. "They've been waiting for you to wake up."
I looked at Ben. He truly looked relieved to see me as well. "Thanks, Ben." I said. "I'm sorry about everything. Thanks for being here with me."
"I'm just glad you're OK," he said, and walked toward the door. And, as an afterthought, he added, quietly, "I missed you."
Soda's eyes had closed and his breathing was becoming regular. I laid my head on his shoulder and was starting to drift off myself when I heard footsteps running towards my room. I opened my eyes and Darry and Ponyboy stood breathless at my bedside. "Scout!" Pony practically yelled. Soda's eyes shot open.
"Hey," I said. Darry took my hand and stared down at me.
"Scout, what were you thinking? Why did you leave?" Pony looked despondent and a bit frantic, despite the fact that I lay safe and sound before him.
"I'm sorry, Pony. I shouldn't have. I missed Darry and Soda. I felt bad about disappearing on them. I shouldn't have."
"You coulda died, Scout. You were safe with me! I was taking care of you. I was making sure you were OK. I would have kept you safe. If I hadn't have had to come home because of the fire you would still be out there. God, Scout!"
"I know, Pony. I know." I did feel bad. Now my decision to leave seemed clearly wrong, though at the time it had seemed so right.
"Pony, not now…" Darry didn't want him yelling at me.
"It's OK, Darry," I said, and turned to Pony. "You're right. I shouldn't have left. Maybe I was already sick, I don't know. My judgment was bad. I was trying to stop worrying Darry and Soda but I never meant to worry you. I'm sorry. I thought we were…OK."
Pony backed off a little, and calmed down. "I know... I mean, we are. And I shouldn't be yelling at you. I was just so worried when I got home and you weren't already there. I couldn't imagine what had happened to you. I thought you maybe really were running away, after what you said to me about you feeling useless. You never even told me you were hurt!"
"I didn't think… It wasn't that bad. We didn't have any way to take care of it anyway. I didn't know it was getting infected. It was just a scratch. I'm sorry Pony. I'm sorry to everyone. I just can't seem to make the right choices anymore. I think I'm doing the right things, but everything gets twisted around and I just cause more trouble for everyone."
It was how I truly felt. And talking about it, thinking about it had exhausted me. I suddenly could hardly even keep my eyes open. Soda hugged me tight and I felt Darry's hand on my head.
"We're just glad you're back," Darry said. "We missed you. Both of you."
I wanted to smile but just didn't have the energy. "Pony?"
"What?"
"I'm so tired. Can we just fight about this later?"
Pony's hand was on my cheek. "No," he said. "No more fighting. You sleep, Scout, and I'll be here when you wake up, OK? I promise"
"Me too," Darry and Soda both spoke.
"Hey, Scout?" It was Darry.
"Yeah?"
"Pony told me what you said. He was right; we're keeping you. No matter what. Us Curtises stick together."
Those were the best words I could have imagined to fall asleep to.
