Thank you all for returning for yet another exciting chapter!
Once again, thank you for all the lovely reviews and advice. The fact that many of you love my story enough to voice concerns over potential mistakes or flaws means a lot to me, because it show my story has touched you enough that you wish to see it thrive.
Fair warning for this chapter, we will be touching upon sexual harassment. Anyone uncomfortable with this chapter is welcome to turn back now, I do not hold it against you.
If Someone Cared Enough
Chapter Twenty-Nine: The Button
September passed in relative quiet at Hogwarts. The autumn chill began to descend on the school gradually, causing students to trade short sleeves under their robes for longer ones. Though Europe wasn't known for having as vivid as changing foliage as the Americas, Scotland did harbor a stunning range of yellows and russets infused with a few ochres and red. Outside the castle, the leaves were just beginning to show this.
It was with this change of weather that the first trip to Hogsmeade arrived.
"Not this one," Lily muttered, tossing aside a maroon blouse. Lily was never a very vain girl, but it wasn't so unreasonable that she wished to have something both comfortable and presentable for her and her friends' outing.
"Not this one either...Ugh!" she held up a fuchsia sweater, "When would I have ever got this?!"
Mary wrinkled her nose, "Did your great aunt give you that?"
Lily grimaced, "The one with the mole and the hair in it? Sounds like something she would pick," she set the shirt down in disgust.
"Just wear that blouse you picked out earlier," Mary insisted, "The one with the flowers along the bottom hem."
"I would, but it's missing a button," Lily explained, picking up the blouse and showing Mary. One of the carved, flower-shaped buttons wasn't there, "I'll have to look for it at some point," she set the blouse down, running a hand through her hair, "Ugh! And you know it's going to bug me until I find it too."
"Don't tell me you're going to stay here and look for it," Mary laughed.
Lily snorted, "As if. I want to have fun today."
It didn't take them long to join the other students waiting to go to the village and the girls were quick to locate Severus with Simone and Thea, side stepping out of Potter's view; Lily knew he had been looking for her all week to ask for a date.
"And so they make their appearance," Simone drawled, "Finally."
Mary mock glared at her, "Blame Lily, she's the one who couldn't pick an outfit."
Simone raised a brow, "Getting all gussied up, Evans. I assure you that you don't need to resort to such tactics to gain my attentions."
"Har-Har," Lily harumphed, "I just wanted to look nice; it wasn't for you."
"Then for whom?" Simone asked quietly, eyeing Severus and making the boy uncomfortable.
Thea grabbed her's friend's ear and tugged, causing Simon to yelp.
"Be nice," Thea scolded, "Anyway, you spent an hour on your hair today, so you've no room to talk."
"Yes, but I DO have someone I want to look nice for," Simone said slyly.
"Oh hush," Thea said, turning to the others.
"Oh come one, isn't anyone curious?" Simone prodded, "Even a little bit?"
"Nesme and Davis will be here soon," Severus explained, ignoring Simone, "They needed to turn in a last minute group project first."
Simone's eyes raked over her friends, realizing their attentions were elsewhere.
She pouted, "Plebeians," she hissed.
Mary stuck her tongue out at Simone as the others watched Nesme and Davis jog over to them.
"Let's go!" Nesme said excitedly, "I can't wait to check out Scrivenshaft's. I want the real shimmery ink!"
"You don't even take decent notes," Davis scoffed, "You just put a few key words down without explanation and draw smudgy little doodles all over the parchment."
"Yeah, but they're pretty," Nesme said stubbornly.
"And here we have the status quo of Hogwarts House personalities," Simone said, sauntering between her two friends. Reaching over their shoulder's she pointing at their crests.
"The Whimsy," she said, pointing at the Hufflepuff badge.
"The Practical," she pointed at the Ravenclaw badge.
Simone brought her hand over her own hand, "The Sarcastic."
"And Gryffindor?" Lily asked.
Simone pointed at her, "The Butt—of my joke," she finished proudly.
"I know where you sleep," Lily deadpanned.
"And yet, you'll never be able to reach me there," Simone pointed out cheekily, patting Lily's cheek.
Lily glowered at the dark skinned girl as Simone sashayed away.
"Let's just get going before Potter spots us," Mary suggested with a roll of her eyes, linking arms with Lily and Severus.
"I see you're still going with your new look," Severus observed as they walked along with the crowd.
Mary lightly fingered one of the ringlets in her hair, "You noticed? It's really growing on me."
"It suits you," Severus offered genuinely, "I'm sure you'll turn a few heads."
Mary lit up like a Jack-O-Lantern, her smile just as wide as one, "Thanks, though I can't say that was my intention."
Lily elbowed Mary in the ribs playfully, "Oh come on, you had to beat guys off with a stick before; if you're getting dressed up now, then there must be someone you really want to impress."
Mary flushed, "Well maybe there is...but—"
"Hey, are you guys going to want to go to Scrivenshaft with us?" Simone asked suddenly, craning her neck around to look back at them, "Nesme thinks we should check out some shops together before we split off to do our own things."
"I'm in," Mary said enthusiastically, seemingly relieved for the change in subject, "What sort of ink did you say you were looking for again, Nesme?" Mary detached herself from Severus and Lily and went up to join the bubbly Hufflepuff.
"Wonder what that was about?" Lily pondered.
"Teenage things," Severus huffed, "Personally glad I never fell into such hormonal fueled trivial things."
"Oh, now I call bull!" Lily said with a smirk, "Severus Snape, are you trying to tell me you've never had a crush on anyone?"
Severus looked away, "I'm above making a fool of myself for puberty's sake, thank you very much."
"Come on, not even a little crush?" Lily pushed teasingly, "Puppy love? Anything? I find that hard to believe."
Severus shifted uncomfortably, "And why is it of any concern of yours, exactly?"
"Because you're just as human as the rest of us, Mr. Cool and Collected," Lily said pointedly, poking Severus sharply in the side.
Severus hissed, squirming away from her fingers, "Stop that!"
"Just tell me," Lily weedled, "I'm not going to give up until you do."
"Fine," Severus snapped, desperate to get Lily off his back, "There's someone..."
Lily's eyes lit up, "Oooh, I knew it! Who is it?"
"I'm not telling you her name," Severus said stubbornly, "But I will tell you this: it was when I was little. I saw her on the playground from a distance," he trailed off, a wistful and pleasant smile on his face, "It was love at first sight."
"That's so sweet," Lily cooed, "Did you ever tell her how you felt?"
Severus shook his head, "Never."
"Well, does she still live in our neighborhood?" Lily asked insistently.
Severus smirked, strolling along with his hands tucked behind his back, "Oh yes."
Lily jumped on that bit of information, "She is? You've seen her?"
Severus smirk widened, "I have." 'Every day in fact.'
"Have I?" Lily asked.
Severus nodded, "I should say so." 'In a mirror, perhaps.'
Lily stopped walking, concentrating hard, "But Sev, that could be anybody!"
Severus hummed, "I realize that."
"Well then why won't you tell me who it is?"
"Oh, Simone," Severus called out, striding forward and leaving Lily behind, "I think I will join you all in Scrivenshafts. I need to get a refill of my ink and I'm afraid the school stores' is just too oily for me."
Lily stamped her foot, "Severus, you come back here and tell me!"
Severus waved over his shoulder at Lily, making the girl scrunch her face up in irritation.
Severus would never admit it, but Lily was adorable when she wrinkled her nose.
Huffing, Lily sprinted up after her friends, muttering loudly about one of them in particular to ensure he knew how much he vexed her.
{page break}
The group quickly got down to business once they arrived at Hogsmeade. True to Nesme's word, they visited Scrivenshaft, where the cheery Hufflepuff bought a lovely bottle of shimmery teal ink for her quill. Severus bought himself some standard, affordable black ink using some pocket money he had stored away over the summer. Being a part of the Evan's family included getting a small allowance for helping around the house, something Severus was surprised but glad to receive, as it was better than charity and rewarded hard work.
Simone checked out a set of Peacock feathered quill pens, not even batting an eye at the staggering price tag hanging off them. A set of jeweled quill holders also caught her attention, each decorated in Sapphires and Emeralds with a mother of pearl finish over the stands. She ended up buying one each for her and Thea, despite the girl's protests.
After Scrivenshafts the group descended on Honeydukes for some sweet confections only Wizards could produce. Nesme and Thea were quick to purchase some Ice Mice and Chocolate bars, while Mary found herself drawn to a type of taffy that changed flavor from one fruit to another as you chewed it. Severus, having only a small sweet tooth, got some dark chocolate for its more bitter—and therefore better—flavor, but consented to Lily's ongoing tradition of them each buying one or two Chocolate frogs in order to trade cards.
"I got Nicholas Flamel!" Lily revealed with a smile.
Severus unwrapped his, absentmindedly handing off the sugary enchanted frog to Lily for her to enjoy.
"I got Beatrix Bloxam," Severus said with a scowl. He held the card out by the very edge of one side like he was dangling a pair of dirty underpants, "Think I'll get in trouble for setting this on fire?"
"You'll do no such thing," Lily admonished, "Come on, she was just trying to make reading friendly for children. It's not her fault she couldn't write worth a lick."
"Only you would defend a writer who couldn't write," Simone said with a roll of her eyes, "Give it here, Severus, I'll set the old bint ablaze."
Lily sighed at their antics, shaking her head.
Thea emerged from the store with the others, successfully diverting everyone's attention from a potential card burning.
"Oh, you got one too, Thea," Lily exclaimed, seeing the chocolate frog wrapper in her hand, "What did you get?"
Thea held up her card for everyone to see, "Rowena Ravenclaw," she didn't sound sure how she should feel about it.
Simone snorted, "Well isn't that queer."
Lily looked between the two confused, "What is?"
"Thea's been getting that card for at least a week now," Simone explained, "Every time she opens one of those things."
"I could understand once, but every time?" Thea questioned, "It just makes no sense."
"Maybe they're just producing a lot of that particular card right now," Severus suggested, "Who knows, maybe this time next month, there'll be an influx of Uric the Oddball cards."
"Possibly," Simone agreed, placing a licorice whip in her mouth thoughtfully, "Still it's pretty strange. Pretty strange, indeed…"
Severus grimaced at Simone's candy choice, "That's foul."
"What is?" asked Davis, a handful of Licorice in his hand.
"How can you two eat those things?" Severus questioned, "They taste awful."
"Taste is just a matter of opinion," Simone said wisely, "Besides, who the hell eats dark chocolate?"
"I like my chocolate like I like my coffee," Severus stated, "Bitter."
"Like your soul," Simone said without an ounce of inflection. Her delivery was so on point the others laughed.
"At least I still have mine," Severus said with a sneer.
"Ah, but you see the price I paid for mine was so worth it," Simone sighed, throwing an arm around Snape's shoulders, "Now let's venture forth onto the next adventure."
The next adventure turned out to be more shops, as it were. Gladrags Wizardwear was a must for the girls, or at least four of them as Simone apparently enjoyed dressing up but not shopping for clothing. Instead, she stood off to the side and encouragingly marveled at the things Thea and Nesme tried on, oohing and awing at the appropriate moments to brighten their day and boost their confidence.
Lily spent her time with Mary examining some rather expensive looking cloaks of silk with fur trim. One of the lovely things about wizard fashion was that many a time, fur could be utilized without killing the animal it came from, shaved straight from the animal and then magicked together into a lovely kill-free pelt. Of course, some wizards still preferred to wear dead animals for fashion, but one couldn't argue that progress was gradually being made.
Next stop was the bookstore, which all but Nesme and Mary were happy to peruse through; the pair of girls not being as bookish as their friends. They chose to sit in a set of chairs up front looking through a magazine Mary had brought with her while their friends scoured the shelves for new reads.
After ringing up their purchases—which included a new potions book Simone bought for Severus with the insistence he hide away the old one and the spells he recorded in it—the group was ready to head their separate ways. Simone was taking Thea to the post office so they could mail a package to Petunia and then grab a bite to eat, while Nesme and Davis were going to eat at the Three Broomsticks before heading back to school.
As the three of them had eaten late, Mary, Lily, and Severus were in no hurry to have lunch. After Severus had a quick session with Marcus—visiting the Three Broomsticks for the appointment—the three students settled for simply wandering the streets taking in the scenery. The beginning hues of Orange and yellow painting the landscape surrounding the village gave it a quaint, festive glow in the sunlight. Storekeepers had started putting out their Halloween décor on every stoop and railing, street lamps and bench wrapped in orange streamers and black and white ribbons, electric green bows on everything giving it all a very 'witchy feel' as Lily's parents back home would say.
Sitting together on a bench, the trio rested their feet and people watched. At some point, Lily pulled out a book she bought earlier and her and Severus flipped through it eagerly, reading about alchemy, while Mary dug into some of her candy.
Mary looked up the cobblestone road, eyes landing on a group of children. She nudged Lily, "Look over there."
The Shrieking Shack loomed against the skyline in ominous contrast to the crisp, blue day. Decrypt and rotting with crooked beams and jagged planks, it intrigued many a curious young witch and wizard with its foreboding appearance and ongoing legend.
"I swear, the Halloween season always bring in a fresh group of fools," Mary mused, "Do they really think that place is haunted? It's all magic, enchantments to make sounds and unsettle you; all to bring in more tourists. There's nothing really there."
Lily and Severus eyed the place warily. Even with the truce between the two boys, Severus would probably always hold a healthy amount of wariness for the place he nearly died. The idea that Dumbledore thought such an aged and rickety house could possibly serve as the ideal place to hold a fully transformed werewolf was further testament to how dotty the man had become in old age. Surely not even spells could enforce that structure enough to keep a raging werewolf inside, could it?
Lily crossed her arms, glaring at the shack, "If they're not going to tear that eyesore down, then they should at least disillusion it. All it does it catch the attention of curious kids and make the foolhardiest of them want to see what's inside for themselves. Someone is going to get hurt sneaking in there.
Severus inwardly winced; he probably deserved some of that ire. It had been stupid to go venturing forth on a whim and the mere words of one of his enemies. Considering he was one of the smart students, one could only wonder what sort of sorry excuse and idiot might come up with to go venturing down the tunnel below the willow or sneaking into the shack.
"It's all about tourists, Lily," Mary stated, "Do you think they care if someone gets hurts every now and then? All they care about is that the shack brings in people, and people means money. That's all they care about."
"And who exactly is this they you speak of?" Severus asked with the hint of a smile.
Mary faltered, "Well…they are…you know, the corporations…that's what my brothers say at least. You know, the Man and all that stuff."
"Oh no, Sev," Lily mock whispered, "The hippie insurgence has crossed from America and into our beloved British Iles!"
Severus smirked.
"Oh hush!" Mary chided, "The wizarding world has money grubbing corporations too and I'm sure they're just as awful as the muggle ones my brothers keep going on about. You're just uninformed." She stood up, brushing off her skirt, "Well, let's say we check out a few more shops and then grab some lunch?"
They ducked into a few shops here or there, looking at new products for plant care at one place, and the latest racing broom care kit at another. There was one little building in the early stages of setting up an animal care shop, but the building itself had a reputation of never holding one business there for long, often times foreclosing months later only for a new shop to open up in its place with the same results.
"Want to check out Zonkos?" Mary suggested, gesturing to the ever busy shop.
Lily worried her lip between her teeth, "I don't know. I'm not exactly a fan of pranks."
"Me either," Severus said dourly.
"Just a peek," Mary bargained, "Plus it wouldn't hurt to see what the newest products are and what they do, so we'll know what to expect and how to reverse it if it ever happens at school."
It seemed like sound reasoning, "I suppose it could help to know what Potter and Black have in store for me this year." Begrudgingly they entered the shop.
To say it was packed was an understatement. The infamy of the Prewett twins and later the Marauders had led to a boom in prank item sales. Seventh years wanting to go out on a high note of popularity and first years looking to make a name for themselves as prankster kings all clamored to get their hands on the latest items.
There were joke items of a harmless nature like disappearing ink, shoes that made you dance when a certain song was played, flowers that exploded into butterflies. There were more gimmicky things for sale that only the truly gullible would fall for; things such as love potions and 'Smarty' elixirs sworn to increase your intelligence. The fact that they were sold in a joke shop didn't seem to dissuade some poor saps of their authenticity.
There were also the classic staples of any good prankster's repertoire. Dungbombs, Sugar Quills, Nose-Biting Teacups, all were well stocked and kept in steady supply at Zonko's. It was odd that with the number of things from this very store now banned within the halls of Hogwarts that the shopkeeper wouldn't think to refuse to sell those particular items to obvious students. The fact that Dumbledore had never issued such a request to the shop just showed how little he actually took the pranks seriously and how much stress they put on the caretaker.
"It's so crowded in here," Mary exclaimed, wiggling through the throng of students, "What, did they all schedule the same time to visit this shop?"
"Most likely Potter and his friends are somewhere in here 'testing' the merchandise," Lily theorized, "It probably drew a crowd."
"The last thing I want to see is that tosser in his natural habitat," Severus groused, elbowing someone in the ribs to make them move out of his way before they stepped on his foot.
More people streamed into the shop behind them, boxing them in just inside the entrance.
"Maybe this was a bad idea, you guys," Mary admitted, "Let's just go."
Lily shifted this way and that, trying to fit through the crowd without plastering herself against the people in front of her. It was very hard to move and she didn't really like feeling like a sardine.
"We can check it out some other time, Mary," Lily offered, "When it's less crowd—" she stepped backwards onto someone's foot, prompting them to fiercely pull it out from under her and tip her into the person in front of her with an 'Ooph!"
Lily pulled away from the solid wall of person she just slammed her face into, rubbing her nose tenderly, "Ow…"
"Excuse me, miss," said the person she had collided with.
It was a boy around her age, with Hufflepuff robes and sandy curls. A smattering of freckles decorated his face and he had a gap between his front teeth.
"Sorry, about that," the boy said, obviously unperturbed by the sudden collision, "Just trying to get by here." He squeezed past Lily without further ado and disappeared into the store, leaving Lily standing there staring after him.
"Lily," Mary said, relieved to finally made it to her friend, "There you are. Severus is waiting for us by the door." She took in her friend's face for a minute.
"Are you alright?" Mary asked. She looked back in the direction the boy had gone, "Do you know him?"
"I…" Lily started listlessly, staring off into space, "…I've got to go," she turned and pushed her way out of the shop hurriedly, Mary right behind her.
"Lily, wait!" Mary called out.
Lily darted past Severus and off the path into a wooded area behind one of the shops, taking a seat down on a rock to catch her breath.
There was the sound of leaves crunching followed swiftly and before long, Severus and Mary were crashing through the trees.
"What was all that about?" Severus asked once he caught his breath.
"Yeah," Mary added, "You scared me half to death."
"I saw Cornwallis," Lily said quietly.
Mary didn't seem to get the meaning behind those words, but Severus did.
"Cornwallis," he asked, "You're sure? Did he try anything?"
"No," Lily said, sliding down the rock until she was sitting on the ground, "We just bumped into each other. But I know it was him even if he didn't recognize me."
"I'm missing something here," Mary said, looking back and forth between the pair in confusion, "Who's Cornwallis? That guy back there?"
"Is he still there?" Severus asked, looking back the way they came, "I'll hex him for you."
Lily snagged the edge of Severus's robes, "Don't bother, Sev. He's probably already gone by now. Besides, he didn't do anything to me."
Severus burned holes in the trees around them with his eyes, glaring at them as though he could see his intended target through them, "I could just go back and hex everyone in that shop. Hell, half of them have probably done something to warrant it if they're buying things there."
"Let it go, Sev," Lily pleaded.
"Hello?" Mary waved her hands to get their attention, "Who's Cornwallis?"
Lily played with some twigs by her feet, digging them aimlessly in the dirt, "Cornwallis Tetch. You and I didn't start hanging out until the end of second year, Mary, so you wouldn't know him. But for a year and a half, he used to pick on me a lot."
"It was harassment," Severus stated firmly, "The little creep had no right going near her."
"It was kid stuff," Lily defended weakly, "He'd pull my hair…push me down in the halls, knock books out of my hand…"
"Flip, your skirt," Severus continued hotly, "Poke your chest, unclip your training bra!"
"That's awful!" Mary cried, "He did all that, Lily?"
Lily nodded, "At first I tried to ignore it. I mean, the pranks Potter and his friends were pulling on Severus were already far worse than that."
"It was still wrong," Severus went on, "We tried telling someone. Prefects, teachers."
"The teachers told me that boys just do that; the age old 'boys will be boys' adage," Lily said glumly, "Plus he was a Hufflepuff, so it was seen as harmless instead of anything to worry about like the house rivalry fights."
"When we told a prefect, the stupid girl told us it was 'sweet'," Severus sneered, "She tried to tell us it was just what boys do to girls they like. She actually told Lily that she should be flattered because it meant she was pretty."
"I heard that excuse plenty growing up," Lily confided in her friends, "Tetch isn't the only one who ever bothered me like that, he was just the one who did it the most and the longest."
Severus shook his head, "No one would take it seriously."
"Well McGonagall did," Lily pointed out, "She didn't believe that crushes or whatever excuse was used was a valid reason to 'act like an arse'. She told him to leave me alone a number of times."
Severus could admit to that, "Yes, she was in our corner, but with the rest of the school viewing it as nothing out of the ordinary, we didn't exactly have much support."
"So what happened?" Mary asked.
"Eventually, Tetch found a new girl to pick on," Lily confessed. She looked away, ashamed, "I hate to say it, but I was relieved it was someone else. Now, I just feel like an ass for dropping the issue the second he left me alone; I bet the girl he switched to wasn't feeling much better than I did when it was me."
"It's not your job to police his behavior," Severus told her, "Teachers should have been holding him responsible, not you."
"Still it makes me feel like such a hypocrite," Lily admitted in frustration, "If it bothered me, it must have bothered someone else."
"Is that why you freaked out?" Mary inquired, "It's been a few years since he stopped. Why did it hit you just now?"
"I don't know," Lily said. She pulled her legs up to her chest, hugging her knees, "Truthfully I was uncomfortable back when it happened, but I just told myself to laugh it off, that boys are stupid and do stupid things; they don't mean anything by it. Looking back on it now though, after everything that's happened, things don't seem so innocent anymore. I guess seeing him after all I've been through just triggered some unpleasant questions and thoughts."
"Such as?" Severus prompted.
"Well, lots of things. I mean, would I have laughed it off now that I've developed?" Lily queried, "Would it seem so innocent now if they did it? Why is my child-self devalued in an act that we'd call perverted if they did when I have a more mature body? Was I just inadvertently raised to pass things off as 'boys will be boys' or 'it's kid stuff' instead of the harassment it was?"
Mary leaned back and sighed, "It's like when people says kids are 'just playing doctor'. There's nothing innocent about it; most of the time it's one kid being touched and the other doing the touching, and yet we see it as harmless because they're young. But it teaches kids to not take those things seriously, even when it happens to them. It's why kids don't speak up the first time a relative or family friend has them sit on their lap or give them a kiss…they say it means nothing, but really parents just end up accidentally teaching their kids to consent to certain levels of touch even if it makes them uncomfortable."
Lily nodded, "Yeah. I don't know how it is in the Wizarding world, but at home, people teach us the obvious red flags growing up; don't go with strangers, don't let grown-ups touch you 'down there'. That's all well and good, but what about all those times your mom or dad insists you give your relatives a hug when they come visit? I know my parents mean well, but it doesn't make it less upsetting. 'Don't be shy, sweetie, you'll make them feel bad.' Well what about how I feel?" Lily crossed her arms.
"Nobody bats an eye if it's a hug or a peck on the cheek, but really, we're being raised to tolerate physical contact without consent in order to be polite and it just leads us to putting up with less obvious signs of harassment," Severus tacked on.
"And people are so uncomfortable about causing confrontation that they brush things off to be complacent. A boy pulls your hair? He likes you. He snapped your bra strap; it must be puppy love," Mary frowned, "Unless they do something outrageously bad, we are just supposed to go with the flow or ignore it."
"And the worse part is plenty of those people doing it don't even realize it is harassment," Lily said forlornly, "Look at Potter; he can't take no for an answer and pesters me constantly, thinking that angering me is better than me ignoring him. He thinks upsetting me is better than me not knowing he exists. He even hurts my friends just to get my attention! In his mind he's 'flirting' and I'm just overreacting."
"And people think you should be flattered by it," Mary pointed out.
"I know!" Lily groaned, burying her face in her hands, "What is wrong with people? And what's wrong with me? I forgot about Tetch's behavior for years, why does seeing him now make me so…angry?"
"There's nothing wrong with you," Mary said gently, placing a hand on her friend's shoulder, "Lily, with all we've been through, some things are a…touchy subject for you or me. I never really minded the wolf whistles or looks before, but now sometimes I worry that one of those guys might actually try something." She twisted a lock of hair between her fingers, suddenly self-conscious about how much make-up she had on.
"If someone looks at a girl too long now, I start to worry they're up to something," Severus confessed, "You're not the only one who's lost a lot of trust in people, Lily, so don't beat yourself up. It's okay to feel wary."
Lily sighed, curling deeper in on herself, "Well it is nice to know I'm not the only one struggling with this."
Severus sat down next to her, "Trust me, you're not. Are you sure you don't want to try to arrange a meeting with Marcus for your own session? He might still be here."
Lily shrugged, looking at the ground, "I don't know. I don't think I could handle being alone with him. No offense, he's a real nice person, Sev…but."
"He's a guy," Severus surmised, "And you've probably told enough men about your ordeal already."
Lily nodded, "Yeah…"
Lily stood up, "Listen, you guys enjoy the rest of the day. I'm going to head back to the school and find that lost button before the house elves sweep it up and it's gone for good."
"Are you sure you don't want us to come along?" Severus offered.
Lily shook her head, "It's fine. Hagrid will probably be more than happy to walk me up to the school. Besides, you can't enter the Girl's dorm anyway, Sev, so you can't help me look for the button as it is."
"At least let us walk you to the end of the village then," Mary suggested.
Knowing they weren't going to let up, Lily agreed to at least their temporary escort services.
"We'll see you before dinner," Mary said as Lily went to approach Hagrid.
"Definitely," Lily agreed, waving her friends goodbye.
The trek back to school was quiet, Hagrid making some small talk and inviting Lily down for tea sometime, but mostly the man was just content to admire the passing scenery. When they reached the castle gates, Hagrid reminded Lily one more time that his hut was always open to visitors and then headed on his merry way.
When Lily got up to the Gryffindor tower, she was relieve to see most of the older students had gone to Hogsmeade, leaving her dorm room empty. Glad she wouldn't have to begin her search amidst Jessica and Meldonna's pestering, Lily set to searching for the wayward button.
"It must be around here somewhere…" Lily muttered, crouching down to peer under the dresser. She got down on her knees and ran a hand along the floor underneath her bed.
Nothing. Climbing to her feet, she pulled back her bedsheets, carefully looking through the blankets to see if the button had fallen on her bed that morning as she was tugging the blouse from her dresser drawer. Still, she found nothing.
'This is going to take a while,' Lily thought with a frown. She would not be deterred though. That was her favorite blouse and she adore those little buttons for their unique charm. She could probably just transfigure something to look like it, but it wouldn't be the same; Lily doubted she could capture every little detail to perfection, anyway.
Try as she might to keep her thoughts clear, Lily's mind kept drifting back to what happened in Zonko's.
Seeing Tetch again shouldn't have been a shock to her, he still attended Hogwarts even if he now left her alone. It was just…startling to be suddenly so close to him after pushing him out of her mind for so long.
She tried not to recall the smell of his breath when they bumped into each other; it was unpleasant, though she was sure the boy didn't mean it to.
'Don't think about it.'
She tried to ignore the memories, all those times he snuck up on her in the hall and pulled on her hair so hard she cried.
'Don't think about it.'
Those times he pinched the skin of her back as he snapped her bra while running past her in the hall.
'Don't think about it.'
His hand skimming her leg as he flipped her skirt.
'Don't think about it.'
…Avery's hand on her thigh, inching up under her skirt.
Avery tearing at her shirt, sending buttons everywhere…
{page break}
"You know, I can walk back to my dorm alone, right?" Mary said exasperatedly to her unexpected accompaniment.
"Yes, but then I would be bored with no one to annoy," Simone drawled, flipping her long hair over her shoulder.
"I've always been curious about your common rooms, anyway," Thea admitted, "We've seen Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff's but not Gryffindor."
"I have to say, I'm not impressed," Simone stated, taking in the red and gold common room with it's over-stuffed chairs, "Too…Grandma's house."
"Hey!" a Gryffindor boy shouted, "Slytherin's aren't allowed in here. Get out!"
Simone stood up to her full height, her head thrown back imperially, "If you wish me to leave, try and move me," she challenged.
The boy looked around them warily, noting the lack of students in the room with him. Gulping, he sat back down by the fireplace.
"Smart boy," Simone said.
Mary rolled her eyes with a sigh, "I take it you want to see my dorm room too?"
"Well since you're offering," Simone said pleasantly.
With another eye roll, Mary led the pair up the stairs.
"I wonder if it's as elegant as our rooms," Simone wondered aloud, "Knowing this House, it's probably a total—"
They opened the door and came to an abrupt halt.
"—eyesore…" Simone finished softly, taking in the sight before her.
One area of the room was complete chaos. A bed was sitting at an angle, the mattress hanging off it and the sheets strewn everywhere. The bed curtains hung by only a few rungs. The dresser by the bed had all the drawers open, the bottom one pulled out of the dresser completely and sitting on the floor with pants spilling out of it. Papers were scattered in complete disorder, covering the floor like an art deco tiling. A trunk at the foot of the bed was upended, items pouring out of it haphazardly in a rumpled mess.
In the center of the havoc sat Lily with her head down.
"Lily," Mary gasped, carefully picking her way through the mess to reach her friend, "What happened?"
Lily raised her head, her eyes red and puffy from crying.
"I couldn't find the button…," she said brokenly, hiccupping.
Simone and Thea shared a questioning look, Simone guarding the door while Thea made her way over to Lily.
Not sure what else to do, Mary pulled her friend into her arms and let Lily cry.
A little credit where credit is due, the final scene was inspired from an episode of the tv series Mom, in which the main character, a recovering alcoholic, encounters the man who raped her years ago and breaks down emotionally over a cricket in her home that she cannot find.
Soooo, some hot button issue in this chapter. I hope that everyone can handle them maturely even if they disagree on the characters expressed opinions. I'm not gong to cop out and say the character's opinions are their own the for sake of the story and do not reflect my own; I write what I know and this is how I feel.
I understand wanting to raise our kids to be social and such, especially with family and close friends, so encouraging hugs is fine and dandy. I just have an issue with kids being pressured to hug or kiss someone in the family simply to please said family member. I feel making your child feel obligated to do so before they are ready basically undermines our attempts to teach them about things like 'bad touch' and inappropriate contact, because we are in one corner teaching them to run from strangers who want to touch them and hurt them by touching, but then in the other corner we are telling them to put their feelings of being uncomfortable aside to make a grown adult happy when the adult is perfectly capable of getting over not receiving a hug.
A member of my extended family exploited this confusion when I was young. I was sworn to secrecy, told I would never be believed anyway. Because things started out with me just doing what I thought was expected of me in interacting with family, I blamed myself and kept quiet.
This family member was the same age as me, but more sexually matured due to years of exposure to adult films in her unsupervised home, which is why I call the whole "playing doctor" and "mutual exploration" excuse adults use about it BULLSHIT. It isn't mutual, more often than not it is one child being touched and other other holding all the power and doing the touching. I personally feel the first question a parent should ask their child when finding out they were subjected to such 'play' is "were you uncomfortable?" If the answer is yes, then you best be telling little Billy or little Sally's parents that their child can't be around your child until they have a serious talk with the kid about what's inappropriate.
*ahem* Moving on!
So we are seeing the fallout of Lily's trauma. It was a long time coming and I'm sure many of your were waiting for the other shoe to drop. Like many victims of assault, Lily is beginning to re-access and become aware of how many sexist and sexually negative things we ignore or let slide on a regular basis in our society. Things like being told to smile or receiving catcalls, being targeted for bullying by a boy in middle school. These things are oftentimes downplayed instead of recognized for the harm they can cause and the sexism they entail. And the idea that a boy or girl bothers you because they "like you" encourages an unhealthy concept of relationships that can a person can take with them throughout their lives subconsciously.
I personally feel that a good rule of thumb in matters of bullying that consist of pulling on clothing or touching someone is this: would you find it sexual harassment if the offender was an adult or the victim was an adult or both? If the answer is yes, then them doing it when they are younger should not be tolerated pain and simple. Teach them to respect each other's bodies early and enough with this "they're just kids" or "boys will be boys" crap.
Hope I haven't ruffled any feathers with my opinions. If so, I did not intend to offend, only share my own opinion.
Read and review :)
