He sat pensively looking down at the steaming mug in his hands. Well, it had been steaming at one point. He hadn't even taken a sip, opting instead to watch the swirling liquid bounce around the edges of the cup with every jolt of his hand as his thumb absently traced the handle. The soupy blackness just outside the window offered little comfort, save for push his gaze back down to the drink he held tightly. He repeatedly fought to try and find the right words for when she finally got there. The coffee shop at this hour was relatively vacant, minus a small group of hippies off in the corner and a vagabond who sat by his lonesome at one of the tables blowing on a piping hot bowl of soup. The coffee shop owner sometimes opened her doors to those in need before closing up for the night.
CJ had made it clear early on that she was adamant against leaving the comfort of her own home. It took a hell of a lot of persuasion on his part to convince her otherwise. Just to have an honest conversation and clear the air. He reaffirmed to her that's what it was supposed to be. He thought that the both of them deserved that much at least. It was only now as the hours had dragged on and the minutes ticked by one by one by one that he began to regret coming in the first place. Had she gone back on her word? Was she on her way? He quite frankly wasn't sure. He closed his eyes, softly humming a song he had heard earlier on the radio as he convinced himself to stay just a little while longer. Surely if she wasn't going to come, she would have called him. Or at least that's what he hoped for.
"Do you want anything with your coffee, honey?" He nearly jumped out of his skin as one of the older waitresses had approached his table without him noticing, but he smiled weakly and shook his head. He didn't have the stomach for anything right now. He didn't want to waste her time though.
"No ma'am. I'd like some cream and sugar though. Two and two." The waitress eyed him suspiciously but nodded, jotting down some sort of note to herself as she fled back across the room, checking in on the other customers. He pulled his phone from the pocket of his jacket and checked for any messages or calls, disheartened to see nothing new on the device. It wasn't until the waitress had returned with his desired cream and sugar, and after he halfheartedly mumbled a thank you, that the bell above the coffee shop door chimed with glee. He looked up to see CJ standing in the doorway, staring directly at him as he continued to stir his drink. She slowly made her way down the stairs as the waitress yelled from across the room that she would be with her in a minute. The two didn't break eye contact as she removed the scarf she had been wearing and slid into the booth seat opposite from him.
He discarded the empty sugar packets into the plastic cream containers and tucked them behind the roll of paper towels at the table, finally taking a large swig of the drink as the girl across from him watched his movements intently.
"Hey."
"Hey..." He wanted to continue but he couldn't. Any chance he had at carrying the conversation had escaped his mind. He mentally kicked himself for drawing a blank, now of all times, as she began to idly draw circles on the table with a finger. The waitress made her way back over quickly, standing in front of CJ for a few seconds before the cloud girl was even aware of her presence.
"Can I get anything for ya, hun?" CJ simply shook her head, managing to flash a quick, weak smile in the woman's general direction, sending the waitress back across the coffee shop to attend to someone or something else. He stared at the table, at his cup, out the window, anything to keep from making direct eye contact with her.
"Um... thanks for coming..." He felt his words catching in his throat, and he couldn't help but feel guilty that he couldn't offer her any more comfort beyond that. The two sat for a moment before CJ blankly turned away from him, looking at the other patrons in the coffee shop.
"Eileen knows. Most of it anyway." He stared flatly, the color draining from his face. He looked down at his cup in front of him and ran a hand through his hair, crossing his arms before scratching the back of his head.
"I know. Of course she knows. She had to have known, right?" CJ didn't look at him. Right now she just couldn't. He took a sip from his cup and pursed his lips before starting to drum his fingers on the table.
"So... how much does she know? What did she say?" CJ finally met his eyes. Hers were red and puffy. He realized that she had been crying, recently at that. She shrugged but refused to leave his gaze.
"She caught it on video. I don't know if she did it on purpose or... either way, she knows what happened. She just... wants me to be careful. And, well, I don't think she trusts you." He brought a hand up to cover his face before running it through his hair again, letting out a small, cynical laugh.
"Well, she shouldn't. I lied to her face after all. I was trying not to talk about it like you said. I had a feeling she knew something was up the night I brought you back home, and when she found us the next morning." He dropped his gaze again, letting out a deep sigh. He really didn't know where to start now.
"So...what now?" His eyes darted up to see CJ inquisitively gesturing to him with her palms stretched out. He tapped the edge of his mug before looking out the window next to him.
"Guess we start from the beginning, huh?" The cloud girl nodded, pulling her jacket tighter as a chill came across her. He cleared his throat before leaning back in the booth slightly.
"I know we talked about it but... did that mean anything to you? And be honest CJ. I want to know." She sighed and looked out the window as well, a passing car's headlights flaring up and glimmering in her eyes as he waited for an answer. Finally she buried her face in her hands and muttered something incoherent.
"What?" She lifted her head up, tears forming at the edges of her eyes.
"I said I don't know. I just... I don't Ryan. I mean we can't pretend it didn't happen but... I don't know what it means." He sighed and brought his hand to his face. Neither said a word for a while, but then he cleared his throat and continued.
"Look... for me, it wasn't just... a one night thing. No matter how much I try to push it away, I can't just let it be a one night thing. I meant what I said CJ. All of it. I care about you, and for me right now, that's all that matters." He waited for her to respond, despite the fact she was nervously biting her finger and mulling over his words.
"And you know, why is it such a big deal? Why does it matter that Eileen knows? Mordecai was..." He trailed off, noticing her tense at the mere mention of the blue jay's name. He immediately sighed and shook his head.
"I'm sorry. I... I know it's still rough to talk about." He subconsciously scratched the stubble already present on his chin, waiting for a response. Waiting for anything. Instead CJ remained stoic and frozen. Eventually she sighed and began to tap a finger on the table.
"It's fine. It's about time we talked about this and this might be the best time to do it. I just... I didn't want anybody else knowing until we sorted this out. I don't know, I guess it comes across as desperate, clingy... not that I'm worried about Eileen knowing. She understands. I'm just hoping nobody else finds out until we settle this." He raised an eyebrow.
"And this... is?" He saw a tinge of frustration grow in her face as she furrowed her brow, but she continued.
"I don't know. I like you Ryan, I do. But after what happened, I don't know where to go from here. Or what this even is. I don't know what you want to hear and what you want me to say." He stared at her for a few seconds before reaching across the table to grab her hand gently, though he leaned forward and she could see the indecision in his face.
"I want you to say what you really think CJ. What you feel. That's all I want." He reclined back in his seat but failed to relinquish his grip on her hand. She could feel his hand slightly trembling anxiously as he waited for her to continue, despite his best efforts to hide it. She brushed a bit of her hair out of her face with her free hand.
"It's gonna take some time for all... that... to go away. I know you know that. And I don't want that to make you think that I don't care, because I do. I like spending time with you. I think you're sweet sometimes, but... you can be a little hot headed. Ugh, I suck at this." She tried to cover her face but he squeezed her hand tighter.
"I don't want this to drive you away, is what I mean. I know I have a bit of a... habit... of trying to shut people out. I know it makes me look insensitive but I can't help it. I don't want to hurt others like I've been hurt, if that makes sense. But after all this, after everything that's happened, I don't know if we could just... start over. I don't think it's that simple." She stopped, letting him process what was being said, though he continued to only stare at her. Finally he let loose of her hand, running both of his through his hair and sighing heavily.
"I'm not going anywhere. Unless that's what you want. I'm not just gonna tuck tail and run." The two sat like statues across from one another, neither having the urge to say much more. Eventually she wiped her eyes, nodding her head slowly.
"Alright... alright. I think that's okay. It's gonna take some work and some time. I just... I don't think we can make something like that work after all of this. Call it lack of faith but I don't want either of us to end up worse off than we are now." She didn't know how he'd respond, as he sternly stared at her before he reached a hand out, grabbing her hand once again as his thumb gently traced the ridges of her knuckles. A weak but warm smile spread across his face.
"It doesn't mean we can't try."
Mordecai stumbled out of the bar he had been holed up in for the evening and fumbled in his coat pocket for a lighter, having already tucked a cigarette into the corner of his beak. He silently kicked himself for picking back up on the habit that he had long worked himself to get rid of. The nicotine patches, the gum, all of it flushed down the drain in a matter of a few days. He narrowed his eyes, squinting at the glare of the street lights overhead and slowly let the cool evening air enter his lungs.
"That's the stuff." He took a long drag on the cigarette as he tucked the battered metal flip lighter back into his pocket, watching the dingy smoke cloud rise up and disappear into the night sky. the temporary rush that spiked his system was enough to bring him to his senses, now very much aware of his pounding headache and shivering body. He pulled the edges of his coat up tight before heading down the road.
Frankly he didn't know what he expected with Margaret following the debacle at the wedding, if he could call it that. He would liked to have said that he had it planned and organized but it was a spur of the moment deal as he ran his mouth, now seemingly severing ties with the one woman who was there once his robin crush had up and disappeared. Maybe he had this fantasy that he would come running back into the girl's arms, that she would immediately take him upon her return. That the two would pick up where they had left off and rekindle the spark like it had never gone out. At least that's what he had thought.
Instead his crush had been less than receptive, given his conduct and disruption at the wedding, the robin had decided to keep her distance, if only for the time being. The one solace the blue jay found in the situation was that Margaret would periodically call him, sometimes to check in and sometimes just to talk. Just the thought of hearing her voice brought warmth to his core. Those phone calls were all he clung to now. That and Rigby.
Despite their inseparable friendship, Mordecai couldn't help but feel jealous about his small companion. Perhaps that's why he had gone off the radar for a few days, refusing to take any of the raccoon's phone calls. He know it hurt and bugged him that he didn't know where Mordecai was, but the blue jay persisted out of spite. Right now, and probably for the first time in his life, he wished he could be like Rigby.
He walked parallel from the main street of town, using his rough memory of the path he had taken during the day to find his way back to the hotel he had rented, and then to the park. Come to think of it, he might be able to make it to the park right now given the fact that he had already checked out. The autumn night smelled of rain, and he somberly glanced at the sparse clouds overhead, begging them to hold a while longer before he ended up completely soaked.
A passing car honked its horn as it sped by, the red taillights burning in the night like a Cuban cigar. It was only the outburst from the car that he realized he had idly been walking in the middle of the road instead of the sidewalk. Opting not to end up as roadkill, he turned diagonally to cross the street and end up near an old office complex and a back alley bar that was blaring Russian house music. He glanced up at the neon signs, taking in the rusted and battered spots that had been covered in paint and tape. It wasn't until he was already past the bar when he heard the front door jingle open, a voice calling out to him from behind.
"Privet drug, ty derzhis'!" It sounded like a younger man, though he couldn't make out a bit of what was being said. He continued to walk but heard some footsteps behind him.
"Slow down friend, you're just man I'm looking for." Mordecai didn't turn to meet whoever was following, though he didn't have to. The man jumped in front of the blue jay, stopping him in his tracks. He was young, maybe in his mid twenties. Clean cut with short, stubbly hair that encompassed his head. Mordecai eyed the Russian up and down before trying to recall what he had spoken to him moments earlier in broken English.
"Why would you be looking for me?" A huge grin was plastered on the Russian's face, as he held his arms out wide as if he was about to embrace the bird.
"You like money, yeah?" Mordecai slowly nodded, prompting the man to rub his hands together.
"Good, good. You ready to make some money?" Mordecai cocked an eye at the man, who had now purposely moved to position himself in between Mordecai and the street. This didn't feel right. Mordecai shook his head and began to walk the direction he had been going.
"Uh, no thanks dude. I'm good." The smile on the Russian's face instantly faded, the man once more positioning himself in between the bird and his only means of escape.
"Glupaya ptitsa, it wasn't a question." It was then that Mordecai felt something press into the small of his back, and it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what it was. Someone else had come up behind him while he had been talking with the first man. The bird's hands instantly shot up, his legs already trembling as he struggled to simply hold his balance.
"L-look. I don't... I don't have any mo-" The man in front of him drew a pistol out of the back of his waistband, aiming the barrel directly down the beak of the bird.
"Zabiraysya v mashinu. Now." Mordecai looked at the man pleadingly as he felt a pair of hands from behind land on his shoulders and jerk him around, nudging him towards the direction of the alley.
"W-what?" He heard the hammer being cocked on the first man's pistol as he was shoved further down the alley, his heart catching in his throat as he nervously waddled into the darkness.
"Get in car. Now!" As if on cue, a pair of headlights cut through the darkness, an old GMC van parked just outside of view from the street. Another man was already at the wheel as the first walked around the blue jay, grabbing one of the doors and sliding it open. He jerked the pistol towards the dim interior of the vehicle, but Mordecai's legs wouldn't budge. A quick jab into his kidneys from behind was enough motivation, and he lifted one leg up into the van. He hadn't even made it all the way in when he felt something heavy crack against the back of his neck, the air rushing from his lungs as he instinctively reached to cradle the wound, but instead falling to the floor of the vehicle, unmoving and unconscious.
A/N: So we've finally reached the point that we're done with (most) of the sappy stuff. We're jumping headlong into the action and I hope y'all stick around to see it all through! The next update should come relatively soon, but until then, take care!
Song of the Chapter:
21 Summer - Brothers Osborne
