Title: When You Win (26/?)

Author: Brooke

Email: yabbadabbadome13@yahoo.com

Rating: R

Disclaimer: If I owned them Joyce wouldn't be dead, Spike would be getting his ass kicked more often, there would be, like, seven Xanders', people probably wouldn't watch, the show would be canceled…I digress and I don't own anything. Buffy and friends are owned by Joss, Mutant Enemy, 20th Century Fox, The UPN, and whoever else has rights to the show.

Summary: It might have a plot, read and find out. I do know that it's kinda based on "What Dreams May Come", because that's what I was watching when I got the idea.

Spoilers: None that I can think of, it's an AU story so everyone should be safe.

Distribution: My fic is your fic. Just let me know.

Feedback: Definitely!! Tell me if it sucked or if you liked it. Whatever. Just write back!

Author's Notes: For the purpose of the story Dawn is 16, and Buffy is 24 almost 25, and Joyce is still alive. … indicate thoughts, "~~" are for phone convos, "**" indicates FLASHBACK. Happy reading all!

The elevator jutted to a halt and Xander's mouth fell open in frightened awe when he saw what was in front of him. The screaming continued to rip through the hollow dark space, but Xander was growing used to it. It wasn't the noise that caused his stomach to clench and his throat to dry. It was the sight of the masses of pale white faces of people who had died and been damned to this place.

That was it though. It was just the faces that were visible through the caked mud ground, all tilted towards the devoid black nothingness above them as they wailed in torment. He felt the bile rise in his throat that this was the place where Buffy was…the consummate hero who had given and sacrificed everything she had for the sake of the world being condemned to this place.

"We're here," The Tracker announced as he stepped off the platform, and to Xander's abject horror, onto the floor of faces.

Xander heard the faces scream under the Tracker's weight, but he paid them no attention, he simply looked back at him expectantly.  The dark haired man took a deep breath and stepped gently off the platform as well, trying to position his steps so that they fell on the small areas of mud between each soul.

"Well…" The Tracker said looking around the area, waiting for his companion to do something.

"She's here," Xander said determinedly while taking careful steps forward, watching the ground so as not to pass by her. Xander stopped suddenly and looked around, tuning out all of the screams. He could feel her…she was so close his heart clenched and nearly stopped. She was so close.

"Keep focused Alexander." The Tracker called over the screams while he waited by where they had entered.

Xander nodded briefly before he picked a direction, the one he knew Buffy had to be in. He had given up trying to avoid stepping on the faces, there were just to may of them for him to care and get to Buffy as quickly as possible. He was almost running, ignoring the moans of discomfort … "OOOFFFF!!!!!!"

He hit the ground hard and all the air was pushed out of his lungs on impact, but he was quickly on his feet when he opened his eyes to find himself face to face with an elderly woman. "Sorry," he mumbled, wiping his hands on his short in disgust.

"It's no problem young man," came the surprisingly warm reply that made Xander wonder why this old lady was doomed to rot here. Her voice took on a lost and confused tone next, "I never get any visitors. Have you seen my grand…"

"You should be apologizing to me!" another angry voice called from behind him. Xander turned around with one swift movement and earned some more angry "HEYS!!!" from people he had stepped on to do so. "I'm the one you kicked in the face," the snotty voice spoke again, "I always knew you were an inconsiderate nothing Harris."

Xander's brow furrowed and he bent over the now recognizable and familiar face, "Snyder?"

"You know who I am," the old principal's face announced sharply and Xander couldn't help but laugh in it.

"I always knew you were going to Hell, ya little troll," he grinned, flicking him on the nose before standing up.

"And I always knew you were too lazy to earn salvation," came Snyder's retort, but Xander ignored him. "I always knew, and dreaded, that you would join me!" the face yelled as it was walked away from, "You're a failure Harris! A failure!"

Xander was about to turn back around and kick the old man again, but he had gotten no less than five steps from him before he forgot how to breath, not that it mattered all that much. He saw her…her face, tilted up in the mud still surrounded by, now dulled, blonde hair.

"BUFFY!!!" he called and was able to see her eyes widen and catch the shiny tear tracks that cut through the dirt on her pale face.

And he was running, "BUFFY!!!" he called again, closing in on where she was fast, disregarding the complaints of those he was trampling and preparing to drop to his knees and dig her out of the ground; longing to feel her in his arms again, where she belonged.

He ran faster. Faster than he ever thought he could.

He was so close he could almost touch her, closer than he had been to his love personified, his life, his Buffy in what felt like centuries…

And the ground cracked beneath him; opened into a cavernous hole that he had no choice but to fall into. He couldn't even grab the edge of the fissure that had opened apropos nothing, and he just fell and fell and fell. Xander could feel his body flailing as it flipped like a rag doll into the depths, surprisingly not hitting any of the jagged rocks that were jutting out from every direction.

He couldn't even find the will to scream, his lungs compressed and felt like they were in his throat. And then he hit the bottom. Xander hit the water below at breakneck speeds and couldn't help but be thankful that be could barely feel it.

**

Buffy waited until Xander left he couch before she walked from his bedroom and into the living room. She took a seat at one end of the couch and put her feet up, making sure that she took up a majority of the three cushions before she changed the channel.

She flipped idly as she listened to him move around the small kitchen getting himself something to drink.

Xander stepped out of the kitchen after a moment and stopped dead in his tracks at the scene before him. He narrowed his eyes before he stalked to the couch and offered a sarcastic half smile at her feeble attempt to stretch across the length of the couch. You've got to be kidding me. he thought as he glanced back at the TV and saw that Buffy had settled on The Deep End of the Ocean, a movie made from an Oprah's Book of the Week pick, of all ungodly things.

"I was watching that," he nodded back after the TV and refereeing to the basketball game that was in it's forth quarter.

"Well, I'm watching this," she shot back.

"It's the Knicks and the Lakers." He said, trying to remain calm, "Turn back."

"You left, I claimed the TV, and I'm watching this."

Xander shut his eyes tightly and sighed. He knew Buffy hated this movie, and that this was some sort of game because she was upset with him, but this was really taking it too far. All because some girl, who wasn't even that hot, gave him her number at the Bronze when Buffy had been in the bathroom. It's not like he had asked for it, or it had been found in his pants pocket; it was just sitting forgotten on the table when she had gotten back, and she'd blown up.

"Turn it back please," he said again while moving to take a seat on the remaining empty cushion, only to have Buffy slide further down across the couch. Xander snorted as he lifted up her feet and sat down. Not expecting that Buffy rolled her eyes and sat up more.

"This is ridiculous Buffy. Just change the channel."

Buffy looked him dead in the eyes, "No."

Xander set a matching glare as he heard the channel change after a moment… 'The Weather Channel'.

"Fine," he huffed out, "You wan to talk about this? You want me to apologize? Fine. I'm sorry Buffy. There. I don't know why I'm sorry, hell, I don't even think you know why I should be sorry, but there it is…I'm sorry. Now stop being a child and turn back to the game." Uh oh He knew he had crossed a  line with that child remark and by the look on her face he knew he was about to hear about it.

"I'm acting like a child?" she retorted, "Hello, Pot. It's kettle; yeah, you're black."

"Not quiet," Xander fired back, matching her condescending tone, "I want to talk about what happened, no wait… what didn't happen, because nothing did."

"You were picking up women while we were in a date. That's not nothing."

"It is nothing. I didn't ask her for the number. It's not like I had her bent over the table,,,"

"Maybe I wasn't gone long enough."

"How could that be possible? You spend half your life in the bathroom staring at yourself in the mirror."

"Well, one of us should be picture friendly in this relationship, and you never seem to complain about how I look. And God forbid I have to pee."

"Relationship?" Xander's voice rose to match hers and his eyes were open wide in mock surprise. "This isn't a relationship. If it were you would trust me enough to know that I wouldn't cheat on you, and I'd be watching the game instead of having this, the world's most asinine argument!"

"So now I'm asinine?" Buffy asked steadily, daring him to answer wrong.

"Well, you're the one watching the Weather Channel, you tell me." He answered instead.

"And this is why you are going to miss the rest of the game." Buffy said as she refocused on the TV.

Xander knew he was about to put his foot in it, but his mouth was open before his brain had time to come up with an ample argument against it, "I wish you would just go home until you're ready to stop being a bitch and talk about what's the matter with you like a adult."

Before Xander knew what was happening his remote control was hurled across the room where it cracked the wall when it smashed and broke against it. "GO TO HELL XANDER!" Buffy yelled as she flew off the couch and into his bed room, slamming the door shut behind her.

"I'LL SEE YOU THERE! AFTER YOU PAY ME BACK MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!" he yelled after her as he got up and turned the channel back to the game…

**

Xander broke through the surface gasping for air. The place he was in now wasn't so much dark as it was gray, and the screaming was gone. "This place is big on water," he mumbled while swimming to the concrete shore to his right.

"You let your thoughts wavier," The Tracker scoffed at him while Xander pulled himself onto the cold platform next to him.

"Sorry," he said looking around and sitting up on the ground, "It was intense up there. Everything just came rushing back to me." Xander explained while taking a deep sad breath.

"What came rushing back?" The Tracker asked concerned while extending his hand to the young man and pulling him to his feet. "You must tell me now and not let it happen again."

Xander shook his head and ran his hands through his hair. "I just…I wanted to hold her," he sounded defeated, "I remembered what it felt like to hold her…and then I thought about this time…" he laughed bitterly, "I thought about this time when we were fighting, and I guess I just lost it." Xander just stared into space for a moment, "I remember holding her on that last morning…when she told me she was…" he laughed again, an angry exhalation.

The Tracker just nodded simply, "Yes, I suppose that would be sufficient enough to make your thought wavier."

Xander kept his eyes downcast and squeezed shut, "What…uh…what happens…happened to…" he almost didn't want to finish the sentence, he hoped that his companion would understand.

"Your son." The Tracker said as if on cue.

Xander's head snapped up to eye the elderly man, "I was going to have a son?" Unable to keep his voice from cracking in awe, and he received a nod. "I shouldn't have let her of let her go into that cave," he mumbled to himself.

"Buffy had only been pregnant for two months," The Tracker continued  and Xander looked at him confused. "There was no soul , nothing to be redeemed, and no manifestation for you to be able to see physically, even here."

Xander watched the man explain himself, "So he's just gone? It's like it just never happened?" He definitely didn't understand this place- the powers that balanced good and evil, and why the evil always liked to challenge and beat him and his wife. For everything he had ever not understood through his whole life, the Heavenly forces were on top of the list. He felt his anger bubble when the Tracker nodded in response. "Really?!" he yelled now, "Because it seemed pretty real when she showed me the sonogram!"

"It was real Alexander. Physically it was a body. But that is all it was…it was too soon…"

"You guys just take everything here don't you?! You took my son…you took my wife, and sent her here!"

"You can see Buffy," The Tracker reminded.

"Does she know?" Xander ignored him, "Does she know that out child didn't count?!"

The Tracker let out a steady breath, "I believe she does. Tells herself everyday…"he trailed off when Xander turned and walked away briskly.

Xander hopped over a small wall and lost his balance, falling down a small incline into a puddle of water. He couldn't help but curse as he sat back in the water, not caring that he was sitting in it at all. "Fuck," he let his head fall into his hands.

He heard the Trackers voice beside him, "You're not helping yourself here Alexander," he said gently, taking a labored seat next to the broken young man. "You've gotten this far, don't lose yourself to this." Xander didn't move, so he continued, "Your child…he never got a start. There is nothing that can be done about that, but here…" he pointed ahead, "You are on the threshold of completing you mission. You can see Buffy. Your Buffy."

Xander finally looked up and followed to where the Tracker was pointing with his eyes. He couldn't believe it; it was his house. It looked dilapidated and dark and dirty, but it was still his and Buffy's home. Xander pushed himself to his feet and noticed the Tracker following suit.

"It is imperative that you listen to me Alexander," he reached out and grabbed the man's arm when he started walking dazedly towards the house.

Xander stopped and looked at the hand on his arm before looking up into his face, speaking quietly, "You sound just like Giles." He wore a small grin as the realization set in on the old man's face. "Before I go," he started, "Could you tell me why you picked this old man's body, and Jess picked a chicks'? That's a little ass backwards don't you think? That he picked you?"

"He died first." Came the simple response and Xander nodded.

"Well…Jenny," he smirked slightly at calling the old man the teacher's name, "Thank you."

The Tracker smiled at his sincerity but retained his grip on his arm, "You're still in danger here Alexander," he continued, "Finding Buffy could mean loosing your soul…your sanity. If you let your worlds mesh, yours will cease to exist. Don't let that happen or there will be no getting back," he warned.

The young man regarded Jenny Calendar still in the form of the elderly man, but didn't question why she hadn't changed into her original form like the others he had recognized through their disguises. "You know you can call me Xander," was all he said before he started walking towards the house again.

The Tracker grinned a little, but then it faded as Xander got closer to the front door. "Be careful Xander," he whispered as he watched him disappear inside.

End Part 26