Author's Note: This drabble is a bit of a tangent. See, in Trick's usual backstory, Tony is dead; a victim of an incredibly violent gang war. He was captured by the enemy, tortured for hours in an attempt to get information out of him, and then finally Christian was forced to shoot and kill Tony. For the circus, that's Tony's backstory; the scars that cover his body are the remnants of that torture, and the first time he shifted was when his mind finally snapped. He turned on his torturers and ran away; since they never found his body, the brothers assumed that Tony had been killed and his body dumped in the bay. When Megan decided to add Tony to the circus, we got to play with this really angsty story arc where Tony wasn't quite functional, because he didn't have Christian. Hence, this drabble.

Images: http:/ fc 03. deviantart. net/ fs 21/ f/ 2007/ 296/ 4/ 1/ Emo_ Boys_ in_ Love_ by_ midoban. jpg
Pairing: Tony/Christian.
Warnings: Subtle discussion of gay lovers.
Disclaimer: Tony and Christian's entire relationship came from Megan.
Genre: Love, Angst.
Word Count: 243.
Song: Time for Miracles, Adam Lambert.

XXX

Trick wasn't the only one who was constantly striving to reconnect with his family.

Tony still only barely remembered. When Trick contacted them, Tony would shift; as a wolf, he could see them, and then he remembered. The wolf didn't understand the complex, painful emotions, but he remembered these lost souls.

Seeing them as a wolf helped him remember them as a human.

But remembering them naturally led to missing them. Missing him.

God, it was fucking painful. To know that he could never touch Chris again, never annoy him by running his hands up Christian's ticklish sides and utterly destroy his badass image by hanging all over him… It was unbearable to know that Christian was trapped on the other side of the Veil, where Tony couldn't follow.

So he clung to the knowledge that the Veil was thin. Maybe, if he kept talking, Christian would hear him, and they'd stay connected.

"You'd be proud of Aaron, Chris," Tony whispered into the darkness of his room. "I know he's afraid that you and Max would be disappointed in him, but I know better. He's surviving, he's carrying on. He's making us proud."

Tony sighed, staring up into the darkness. If he concentrated, he could almost feel ghostly fingers playing with his hair; could almost hear Christian's heartbeat.

"I miss you, asshole," he whispered. "Why'd you have to leave me? Max and AV get to be together with their baby, why not us?"