"Humanity longs for the future."

Suzaku frowned. "What?" The room around him faded in and out, switching between an opulent bedroom and a damp cave. "Lelouch, what are–"

"What happened to Euphy… it wasn't your fault."

Euphy? Suzaku remembered her dead body lying on the ground while Lelouch mourned in another world. It seemed unfair that she would have to suffer in more than one. "Lelouch, I'm not your Suzaku, I'm–"

"Geass is a tool, Suzaku. Just a tool. Like a gun, it can't do anything on its own. If anyone's to blame, it's me."

Suzaku didn't have time for this. "Lelouch! You're dreaming right now."

"Very well." Lelouch reached out and cupped Suzaku's face, gently pressing his lips to Suzaku's, in one of the very few kisses Suzaku had shared with a dream!Lelouch. "I will grant you this wish, Suzaku, for all that my actions have cost you. If you truly believe blood can wash blood, then I'll make that happen for you."

"I don't…"

"But in return, I will have your loyalty and your obedience, for the rest of your life."

Suzaku pulled away, shocked at the demand. "No! What are you…" Lelouch's eyes weren't focused on him and, rather than drop his empty hand, he dipped his head and kissed the air, moving as if he was tracing kisses against someone's lips, cheeks, neck… "What are you…"

Lelouch's eyes flickered to Suzaku's face, then he frowned, beads of sweat appearing on his forehead. "Geass is… is like a wish, Suzaku." He seemed to have trouble getting his words out. "The power to… to do things you can't by your-yourself." He blinked hard. "By your own power. I…"

"Lelouch?"

Lelouch shook his head once, sharply. "No, go away. You're not him, your not even my memories of him." Their location settled into a richly decorated room, with every surface covered in dust save for a path from the door to the closet to the bed. "You're a nightmare."

"No, I promise, I'm not," Suzaku said. "I… I'll be quiet if you want. Until you wake up."

"But you'd still be here!" Lelouch thundered out suddenly, throwing his arm out violently. "This is our place and you're invading it!"

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to…" Suzaku stepped back, a little frightened at the ferocity of that outburst. It wasn't like Lelouch at all. "I'm sorry!"

"Sorry doesn't change anything! Sorry won't bring Euphy or your father back, won't clean your hands of all the blood you've spilt, won't fill the hole in my life that you left!" Lelouch turned away. "You're sorry? That is less than meaningless, Suzaku."

Suzaku frowned. "I wasn't apologizing for that. I was apologizing for being in your way. The rest of that isn't my fault. I'm not your Suzaku, and I didn't do those things!"

"But you would have, in his place."

"Yeah, maybe. But then I'd be dead and I wouldn't have to deal with your shit!" Suzaku snapped.

There was a long, tense moment of silence.

"…sorry."

Lelouch laughed. It sounded broken. "How nostalgic."

"I didn't mean…"

"Ye,s you did."

Suzaku approached Lelouch carefully. "I really am sorry." He placed his hand on Lelouch's shoulder. Lelouch tensed slightly but didn't pull away. "Can I do something to make it better?"

Lelouch snorted. "I don't suppose you have a vial of refrain lying around?" Suzaku shook his head, despite the fact that Lelouch still had his back to him and wouldn't see it. "Didn't think so."

"Does that… the refrain… does it make it better?"

"I… it makes it different. It's wonderful while it's working, except when it's horrifying. But it always runs out, and I still have to do my duty and maintain the peace that Suzaku bought with his life. I'd take even the horrifying trips, to get back what we had. If I could have lived those two years forever…"

Suzaku wrapped his arms around Lelouch from behind, ignoring his stiffening shoulders. "Only two years?"

"Less, really. A few months as children, a few as friends, even fewer as lovers…"

"At least you had that."

Lelouch snorted. "No. If I hadn't… if we'd never… It's not really better to have loved and lost. After Euphy… my Suzaku would agree as well."

"Well, I don't. So that's another thing your Suzaku and I don't have in common."

"And what would your Lelouch have said?"

Suzaku smiled. "He'd say… 'I don't see the point in this debate, Suzaku. Surely it depends on the individuals and the relationship in question.' or something else that didn't answer the question. He's a lawyer."

The laugh that that surprised out of Lelouch was more genuine, but still fractured. "Good for him. Taking a side means playing a fool's game. Better to fight for your next paycheck than for ephemeral things like ideals and principles."

That didn't sit well with Suzaku. "He's not like that."

"I'm sure he's far more admirable with you by his side. As his conscience. As his heart." Lelouch turned around. "What do you think would happen to your Lelouch if you left him, Suzaku?"

Suzaku had no idea. The one doing the leaving was always Lelouch. "I… I don't…"

"He'd break."

The certainty in Lelouch's voice couldn't be argued with. All Suzaku could do in reply was bow his head.