Glass of H20: Thank you! I'm glad to hear it!
anonomas russia fan: ...Really?

Tima: Thanks for pointing that out! I can't believe I missed that in the quality check. I mean, even America would probably be ashamed by that sort of geological messup. At least, I HOPE he knows he's not European... (I've changed it to 'Western.')

Hi. I know this is just barely on time. Sorry. Maybe I should try to get a buffer set up.

This chapter is twice as long as the last, though. Enjoy!


England paused outside the kitchen door. He hadn't thought he was that hungry (he'd gotten some food after he'd left America's house earlier), but something smelled pretty good in there, and his stomach was fervently protesting his original assessment. He decided to take a look before it did anything embarrassing. He didn't much care to be caught hovering outside the kitchen door because his stomach growled.

He opened the door. Japan and America were already inside, the former making an odd combination of a European breakfast and a Japanese dinner, the latter most likely being a nuisance by pestering the former with useless questions.

America turned towards England, smiling normally (well, England still couldn't get used to seeing it on HIS face, but normally for America) despite the earlier bathroom incident. Lovely, England thought, realizing that the target of America's pestering had just shifted to him. He resolved to live with it, though. It's the least I can do for Japan.

"Hey, England! Guess that means you're out of the shower. Japan's making food. Want anything?"

Figures that he'd offer when somebody else is cooking, England couldn't help but think.

"I am a little hungry. Would you mind if I quickly make myself something?"

Japan slid a few more eggs onto the pan and tried to figure out how to politely refuse England's request.

America's response was a lot less subtle and a lot more immediate.

"NO WAY are you cooking! You'll burn the kitchen down or something!" Japan started cooking the eggs, having fully realized that the argument he'd anticipated was now breaking out. On the bright side, he figured he'd be able to make them both some food before they were done. Hopefully.

"For your information, I am completely capable of producing food without inciting unintended combustion!"

"You do not 'produce food,' England. Also, you're talking like something out of an Advanced Chemistry book."

"I can cook, and the results are edible." England said, irritated.

"Only if by edible you mean 'I can shove it in my mouth!' And sometimes not even then!"

"See if I ever cook for you again, you ungrateful whelp!"

"Looking forward to it!"

"This discussion is over," England huffed. "It-"

"Yeah, you're just saying that because you lost."

"Japan," England said, studiously ignoring America's response, "As it's your kitchen and thus your decision, may I please cook something?"

Japan quickly slid the eggs onto two plates. "I've made plenty of eggs, England. In the interest of keeping the peace, why don't you two just split them?"

"Woo! Food!" America exclaimed, happily claiming one of the proffered plates.

England sighed. "Okay, Japan," he replied, taking the other. The two European nations sat down to eat, both attacking the food with surprising voracity. England found he really had been hungry, to his mild surprise.

"The coffee's done, America," Japan observed.

"Great!" the nation said, smiling.

"Hey, wait a minute," England said. "It's nearly dark out! You're not really going to drink coffee this late, are you?"

America replied by pouring himself a cup.

"Oh, for goodness sakes, America! You're going to keep us up all night!" England exclaimed, exasperated by the younger nation's consistent lack of common sense.

America grabbed another cup. "I think Mr. Grouchypants here needs some coffee too," he quipped.

"I most certainly do not, and neither do you!"

"Dude, I'm America," said nation said, shocked at England's proclamation. "I NEED COFFEE."

"For one, I'm the one who's physically 'America' right now. And you certainly seem energetic enough."

"Yeah, so you need to have some too."

"Do you even listen to yourself?" England despaired.

"Not when I don't have any coffee, no," America remarked, clearly thinking it a clever return.

England glanced at Japan. "Does that guest room lock?"

"From the inside, yes."

"Do you have any rooms that lock from the outside?"

"Not really."

England looked at him with undeniable pity written all over his face.

America took the opportunity to pour some coffee down England's throat. Amazingly, England managed to push it away without spilling any on himself, though Japan's tablecloth suffered a little.

"How was it?" America asked cheerfully.

England sputtered on the coffee that had been unceremoniously dumped down his throat. "That…that stupid bloody coffee was-

Surprisingly…refreshing?

"H-HORRIBLE!" he insisted.

"You have no taste," America grumbled, taking a gulp from his cup. "Though I guess we already knew that…"

"Do not start that again," England warned. For once, America complied, at least partly because he was busy with his coffee.

England looked distrustfully at his own cup, sniffing at it disdainfully. His eyes widened when he recognized the alluring scent that had originally brought him into the kitchen.

Bloody hell, he thought, brain freezing in shock and horror. I'm America, and I like coffee.

There was no way he was going to admit that, though. No way, not if he wanted any chance of convincing the other nation to give up on the health-depriving beverage, not if America was still gulping down his cup despite the fact that it was probably tasting horrible to him if he had anything like England's taste buds. England looked closer and noted with some satisfaction that America did indeed look a little uncomfortable.

Still, he thought, looking at the cup, what should I do with this?

I shouldn't even have to ask myself that question, he reminded himself. I should just throw it out.

The scent of the coffee wafted up to him again, and his arm jolted as he almost took a sip right then, having become aware of a craving he hadn't realized he had. Fuck.

He looked up nervously, checking to see if anybody had noticed. America was looking straight at him, grinning a bit deviously.

Oh, hell if I'm going to give you the satisfaction, England resolved, firmly sliding the cup away from him. Maybe he could get back to it later. He sputtered inside when he realized that he'd thought that seriously. This was too creepy.

"Ready to admit that coffee's good for you?" America teased.

"Absolutely not," England vehemently replied.

Japan sat down with his seafood dinner and skillfully diffused the impending conflict by offering the other two nations toast, which America happily claimed and England somewhat reluctantly took, realizing that, in order to keep up with America's metabolism, he was going to have to eat like, well, America. Of course, the reverse also held true.

"Don't you think you've had enough?" England asked America, disapproval coloring his voice. "I don't have as fast of a metabolism as you do."

"But the jam is so tasty!"

"That is NOT a good reason for eating when you're full!"

"Fine, I'll just finish this one," America said, somewhat morosely. England nearly gaped, amazed that his advice had been followed. He must have been right-the idiot must have been overstuffing himself just for show. I'm going to wring his neck someday…

They all finished eating. England stayed where he was, halfway hoping the other two would leave so that he could grab the coffee without being seen, but nobody gave any sign of moving.

"So…what's up, Japan?" America, of course.

"For the most part, there has been little out of the unusual. However, there was a rather sudden appearance of … I believe you call them crop circles?"

"Bah, they proved that it was just a buncha college kids doing those anyway."

"Yes…however, there was an eyewitness to this one's creation, who swears that it just appeared out of thin air. Most are sure it's a hoax, but the place is rather out of the way…"

"Huh. Sounds like you've got a determined prankster. What'd it look like, anyway?"

"That's the oddest part. Apparently, it looks very different from previous crop circles-like some sort of flower. Here, I was given an aerial photograph of it."

America looked, somewhat interested. England looked and promptly choked on thin air. How did that drawing end up as a crop circle …in…Japan? He remembered the odd save files.

"Are you okay, England?" Japan enquired, perceptive as always.

"Oh yes, yes, I'm fine, just thinking about some things I haven't been able to attend to." Crop circles are made with PHOTOSHOP? …What the hell.

"Ah. Work?"

"Yes, it can be quite burdening at times, though I think I'll be fine." England said seriously. I'm totally going to scrawl my flag all over France's place next time I stay over at America's.

There was another momentary lull in the conversation. England fantasized about other possibilities, a slight smirk the only hint that he was mentally drawing humiliating pictures all over French agriculture.

"You never did tell me how this all got started," Japan eventually commented.

England took one look at America's face and knew that what was about to come out of his mouth was both inane and lengthy. He sighed.

So much for the coffee.


A/N:

Because just because he looks all serious and proper doesn't mean England isn't thinking elsewise (For example, he's reading porn in the first published chapter of the manga. I wish I could say we know this because France called him on it, but he didn't see it.). I find the potential contradiction amusing.

I also like a lot of the scenes in this chapter. What's your favorite part?

Oh, and by the way, the title of the chapter is referring to the coffee. XD

Also, I used 'Iggy' because using England's full name would have caused the title to exceed the character limit for chapter titles (Well, the first word of his full name. I imagine his FULL name wouldn't even fit into the character limit on its own. 'The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland' is quite the mouthful.

…and you may interpret the 'new' part however you wish.