Note: A few spoilers from "The Stolen Throne" in this story.
Many thanks to Biff McLaughlin for beta-reading. She's good at finding those annoying typos and grammatical thingies that elude and confound me.
My thanks also to Sleepowlet who first provided the prompt back on the old kmeme, and then who inspired the ideas with Loghain. She also beta-read a few of my chapters.
Regent Got Back
"You see, my lord?" Henry said. I went over to Henry and nuzzled him. "She's a slut for attention."
Damn right, I thought. I turned my attention from Henry to Loghain. He looked quite unlike I'd ever seen him at Ostagar. He was dressed in comfortable riding clothes and he actually looked somewhat relaxed, almost contented. This was certainly an aspect of the man I'd never seen. Although I wasn't exactly a Loghain expert, I had a certain picture of him in my head and it was different from this, almost affable, man.
"Come here, girl, let's have a look at you," Loghain said, his voice gentle. He held out his hand and there was a slice of apple in it. I stepped over to him and took the apple delicately from his hand and crunched it up noisily. It chased away the bitter, chalky taste of the butterflies I'd eaten. I blew in Loghain's face in standard horse greeting and he blew back at me. He patted my nose and then climbed over the fence to get closer to me.
"She's fine looking, Henry. Big. I dare say she could carry me in my armor. How big is she?"
"Over sixteen hands, nearly seventeen, my lord. She is big, but she has speed and plenty of agility too, and a very sweet temperament."
Ha! If you only knew how close I was to dismantling your stable plank by plank!
"Are you a sweet girl, Lucy?" Loghain asked, stroking my mane.
I snorfled his ear and lipped at his braid with my mouth, tugging on it. He broke out into hearty laugh and pushed my head away playfully. A huge smile deformed his face. I say deformed because it seemed like such an unnatural expression for him.
"She seems to like you, ser," Henry said.
"She reminds me of a horse I had when I was a boy. A dapple gray, like her, but I've never seen one with a black mane. What an unusual trait. We must breed this one." Loghain said.
Um, no.
"Lucy, do you want to go for a ride?" Loghain said.
Yes! About time too. I forgot I wasn't actually supposed to answer and I nodded my head.
Henry and Loghain both laughed. "It's almost as if she understood you," Henry said.
Loghain grasped my bridle and led me to the stable where I was saddled up with the Regent's fine tack. I tried to be still and patient, but I was brimming with nervous energy. It all came down to me now, and Loghain, of course. From here on out I was improvising and the future of... everything... depended on how well I did. Talk about pressure!
It was mid-summer in Ferelden and the middle of a very hot spell. Even though it was early in the day it was already warm. It didn't bother me too much as a horse, for which I was grateful. Loghain mounted and rode me into the training ring. I was disappointed. I had wanted to go far off, where I could talk to him privately, but I think he just wanted to get comfortable with me first. I was at my attentive best and did everything as well as I could. He even took me over a few jumps after asking Henry if I could jump.
"I think I'll take her out for a bit of a ride, Henry. I want to see how much stamina she has."
"My lord, would you like me to come with you? Or your guard, surely?" Henry said.
"No, I'll be fine. I'll stay reasonably close and I've got my sword if there's any trouble." He had strapped his sword behind the saddle. "I should be back in an hour or two."
He kicked my sides and I trotted off with him, towards the tree line in the distance. He quickly pressed me into a canter and then a gallop. Loghain was a very good rider. His commands were very clear to me and he eased off the bit when he learned I didn't need it.
"Very comfortable ride, Lucy," he commented, patting my neck.
We went along at what I thought was a very nice gallop for quite some time and then he slowed me to a canter.
"There's a fence coming up, Lucy-girl, can you jump it?"
I spotted it ahead. It was a rock wall, not terribly large. I thought I could. I snorted and nodded.
"Maker's blood, Lucy-girl, it's almost like you understand me." We drew closer to the fence and he positioned himself for the jump. I gathered myself and cleared it easily. I gave a happy snort. Truthfully, it had scared me a little. I was used to jumping over fences that would collapse if I hit them with a hoof.
"You are a very special girl, Lucy," he said, slapping my neck affectionately.
You have no idea, I thought.
He brought me back to a gallop and we tore across the turf. I was beginning to sweat heavily, but the exertion vented my nervousness. Finally he slowed me to an easy trot and we entered a lightly wooded area. The shade from the heat of the morning felt good. I could smell that Loghain was perspiring heavily. I did have a pretty amazing sense of smell as a horse. Fortunately, he wasn't offensive smelling.
As the woods grew denser he slowed me to a walk. I could smell water and hear it lapping somewhere; we seemed to be headed towards that. At last we came to the edge of a small lake, or a large pond. It was a beautiful area with lots of shade, ferns growing between the trees, and a nice path that we were following. In the middle of the pond was a sunny, little island.
He stopped me at the edge of the lake and dismounted.
"Are you tired, Lucy?" he asked.
I forgot myself again and shook my head.
"Maker's hairy balls... do you understand me?" He was starting to look a little alarmed.
I shook my head again. Maybe he would think there was something I was trying to shake off my head.
He seemed to rethink the notion and laughed. He took my tack off and looped my reins around a fallen log so I could reach the water and drink. I was very thirsty and the sweet, cold water helped cool me down a little. Still, I was very sweaty. Sweat was rolling down Loghain's face too.
As soon as I was secured he started to undress. I might have been a horse, but I still had all my womanly sensibilities. I stopped slurping up water and stared at him. His chest was broad and powerful, but very pale and covered with a dusting of black hair. He possessed a chest and arms that many a younger man would spend hours in a gym striving for and never achieve. He was also embroidered with scars, some of which were vicious looking. There must have been a dearth of healing mages in his life. His torso tapered neatly into slender, but powerful, hips. As he took off his trousers I was gratified with the shape of his ass. It was an ass that would do a pair of jeans proud. It was strong and muscular. Not one of those flat, barely existent booties men often had. No, Loghain got back.
I whickered my approval. It was the closest thing to a cat-call I could do. I had seen a typical sort of statue of Loghain in Denerim, but really they should have done him nude. He lived up to his heroic title without clothes on. Where is Michelangelo when you really need him?
Fortunately, Loghain ignored me. It would be creepy to find a horse was leering at you while you were naked.
"Be a good girl, Lucy. I'm going for a swim," he said, and then he splashed out into the water and as soon as it was deep enough he started to swim for the island with strong strokes of those powerful arms.
As soon as he was out of sight I transformed and took all the horse gear, his clothes, his sword, everything, except his smalls and trousers, and hid them in the woods. That sounds easier than it was. I was still in that awful moment of confusion from transforming where I couldn't remember how to walk like a human. It was always bad after such a long time in horse form. I had to grab onto trees and tripped a few times before I mastered bipedalism again.
I was sweating profusely now. It hadn't bothered me so much as a horse, but as a human it was awful. I wanted nothing more but to jump into the water myself, but instead I splashed some cold water from the lake on my face, chest, and the back of my neck. It wasn't enough, but it would have to do. I hid myself and waited for Loghain to come back.
I wasn't wearing armor and I wasn't armed. I wasn't here to fight. If it came to fighting, I had probably failed. I didn't want him to think his life was in danger; I just wanted him to listen to me. I could barely sit still. The butterflies in my stomach seemed to have multiplied. I peeled bits of bark off a tree with my fingernails, out of nervousness, while I waited. Then I heard a splashing and knew he was swimming back.
From my hiding place I watched him as he climbed out of the water. The water sheeted off him and the sun glinted on his wet, black hair. If I had to seduce him at least I wouldn't have to shut my eyes and think of someone else. It could have been worse, much worse.
He looked around where he had left his horse and equipment and his eyes fell on his small clothes and pants. I was being polite, was I not? I'd allow him at least a little dignity while we had our discussion. Besides, I wasn't sure how I could possibly discuss the future of the nation with a naked man. Leaving him half-clothed, though, was a tactical decision, not an aesthetic one... really! I thought it would leave him slightly off balance, feeling exposed, at a disadvantage. Maybe. I had no idea, this was improvisational. I wondered what Madeleine Albright, or Kissinger would think of my tactic. I bet they'd misplace a foreign dignitary's clothes if they had the option.
Loghain looked alarmed when he saw that nearly everything was missing. He looked up, prepared to fight, but when nothing happened he reached for the small clothes and breeches and put them on.
Show time!
I stepped out from behind the tree and bushes where I had been waiting and held up my hand in the universal gesture of peace, or as Zevran would probably say, the idiot's gesture of 'Hey, look at me, I'm a completely unarmed woman and very easy to kill'.
"Loghain," I said, dispensing with his title to show I wasn't going to be submissive or deferential.
"You?" He sneered. "Elissa Cousland, isn't it? How on earth did you manage to arrange this?"
"It's a long story. An interesting one, if you'll hear it, but there are other things we have to discuss before we get to that," I replied. My voice was strong, despite my nerves.
"Where's my horse?" he demanded. His hands clenched and unclenched, like he was already imagining throttling me.
"I hid her. You'll get her back after we've talked, along with your other stuff. I'm not here to hurt you. I'm unarmed, as you can see, and I'm alone."
"I see that. You don't think I could kill you unarmed?" He narrowed his eyes at me. "I could snap your neck."
"Don't be so sure, I'm pretty good at unarmed combat. I've bested bigger men than you." I stood erect and defiant. I remembered the tango-eyes I'd practiced with Zevran.
He scoffed. "You're a liar. You're a spoiled, pampered noble. A scheming traitor to your country." He went from standing and talking to leaping at me without my even sensing he was going to do it. Still, I was young and quick; I don't care how good your body looks, the years take a toll on your speed. I managed to shift to the side far enough that I didn't take the full force of his weight as he came down where I had been standing,but I did fall on the ground and he tried to grasp a limb to restrain me, but I quickly scrambled away and got up.
"Loghain! Stop!" I was ready for him this time. He was back on his feet and was moving around me. "I can prevent the civil war."
He darted at me and threw a punch at my face. I ducked under his punch and clipped him in the jaw with one of my own. It was laughably light, but at least he could see I could get through to him.
He laughed at me again. "You can stop the civil war? And how do you plan to do that?" Another blow, this one I deflected with a block. That was going to leave a bruise, if I didn't heal it.
It wasn't ideal, fighting and talking, but at least it was something. "I can..." - I danced out of the way of another punch from his massive arm - "... testify at the Landsmeet that we were late lighting the beacon. That...Oof!"
He charged me again. I was too slow, distracted by talking. He pinned me against the tree and his hand went for my throat, but he didn't squeeze. My hand went for his balls; I wrapped my hand around them, my fingernails poised to dig into them. I didn't squeeze either.
"I could crush your windpipe and watch you choke to death," he said, his face snarling down at mine.
"If you do you'll be singing soprano in the Chantry choir," I said, viciously. I flexed my fingers a tiny bit to prove my intent.
"You talk a good game, Cousland, but you're still a liar. You never bested a man bigger than me."
I moved quickly, reflexes boosted by adrenaline. My free hand peeled his hand off my neck, using his weak little finger as a fulcrum and I twisted his arm, stepping behind him. I had him in an arm lock. I pushed up on the arm until he winced.
"A Qunari warrior, in fact. Would you like to see how I did it?" I said. I didn't wait for a reply. I bent his arm until he had to bend forward or risk breaking it. He groaned with the pain. When he was low enough I put him into a choke hold. He wasn't as big as Sten, whose neck was like a tree trunk, so I wrapped one arm around his neck and cinched it tight with the other. My mouth was inches from his ear.
"Sleep well, dear Regent," I murmured into his ear, keeping the pressure on, feeling him struggle against me and then, finally, going limp and collapsing forward. I immediately let up on the pressure and put my fingers on his throat searching for a pulse. I relaxed when I felt it. I cast a healing spell on him and on myself. Then I sat next to him and waited for him to arouse. I suspected I would have his attention when he awoke.
His eyes opened not long after and they quickly focused on my face. "You could have killed me," he said matter-of-factly.
I shrugged. "Yes, but you're far more useful to this country alive. I'm hoping you'll realize that I am as well."
He looked at me with suspicion still, but he sat up. "All right. I will listen. I could still kill you, so this better be worth my while." His glare was replaced with curiosity for a moment. "How did you do that, by the way?"
I smiled slyly and shook my head. "Perhaps, if we find ourselves allied, I will share that with you, but it may be awhile before I trust you that much, I'm afraid."
"Fair enough," he said, gruffly. "Well, go on. Say what you will."
"Before you tried to kill me, I was saying that I could help you avoid a civil war. I know that some of the nobles are suspicious of you and will oppose you at the Landsmeet because they believe you abandoned the king to seize power for yourself. But I believe that you did what was prudent. I know you tried to dissuade Cailan from joining the Grey Wardens on the front lines. It was his foolish overconfidence, and his utter trust that the Grey Wardens could defeat anything they encountered, that got him killed."
I stopped for a moment and glanced at Loghain. He was looking more interested. "Go on."
"I did try to warn you about having a single point of failure with the signal, but... that's a concept that is probably new to you."
"Don't blather nonsense," he warned me.
I frowned at him, gritting my teeth in irritation. "It isn't nonsense. Making something depend on one other thing means that if that one thing fails, everything else can fail. There was a flaw in your plan, whether you wish to acknowledge it or not." I couldn't prevent the note of annoyance from creeping into my voice. "However, I'm not here to place blame on you. The Tower of Ishal was overrun with darkspawn who had tunneled up from below. Alistair and I had to battle our way to the rooftop and there was large, vicious ogre at the top. We know we were late and that we missed the signal to light the beacon." I gripped Loghain's arm while I relived the moment. "I don't know what was happening on the ground, but I know from the scouting mission I was on that the horde was huge. I can well imagine that our army was inadequate to match it, not to mention that the beacon was not lit in time."
I bit my lip, thinking about what Wynne had told me, how Bendrick had been overwhelmed by a sea of darkspawn. I couldn't help the tears that stung behind my eyes for a moment. "I lost a lot in that battle, Loghain. I know damn well that you know we didn't betray the king. You know I wanted a back up signal. Would I have insisted on that if it were my intention to betray him?" I gripped his arm harder. "Would you have argued with Cailan about being on the front lines if you wanted him to die?" I watched his face and he watched mine. I didn't know how to read him, he was inscrutable to me.
"I know you're using the Grey Wardens as a scapegoat. I accept that. But the thing is, if we support you and give our version, which verifies what you say, we can prevent this civil war. People will understand you didn't grab power simply because you're power-hungry. You did it to preserve the army and lead the country against the Blight. Right now, there are people who simply won't believe that because pretty much everyone who could confirm it is either dead or part of your army and aligned with you."
Loghain sat up, keeping his eyes on me, and braced himself against a tree. "There will still be doubters," he said.
"I can bring you at least one strong ally," I said.
"Who?" he asked.
"Bann Teagan," I said. "I told him everything and he agreed he would support you even if his brother didn't."
"His brother? I doubt Eamon is going to give me any trouble."
I coughed and looked sheepishly at him. "He might, actually."
"And why is that?" Loghain scowled, his mouth hardening.
"Because we cured him of the poison you had given to him," I said.
"Maker's blood, that was foolish," he said. He rubbed his forehead with his hand, his frustration apparent.
"I rather wish I hadn't now. He's a complete royalist moron. He wants to put Alistair on the throne." I half-frowned, and shook my head. "Alistair is completely uninterested and totally unsuitable."
"What?" Loghain said, nearly sputtering. "I never thought I'd hear a Cousland saying that."
I smiled crookedly. "Don't get excited, you still haven't. But that part of story that isn't really entirely relevant to our current discussion."
He squinted at me trying to figure out what I was trying to say. "All right, so Eamon is cured and won't stand with me, but his brother will? How did you manage that?"
"Teagan is a reasonable man and my arguments were sound. He knows that our best hope is that you lead the country against the Blight and that we ally to do this together."
"He is reasonable, I'm just surprised he would stand up against his brother," Loghain said.
"People do surprising things all the time," I said. "Like us. Here we are having a civilized conversation when we were mortal enemies just minutes ago."
Loghain glared. "Don't press your luck, Cousland."
"I am sorry about Eamon. I wouldn't have wasted my time on him if I'd known he was such a royalist twit. His brother thinks Eamon just wants to control the crown with Alistair as a figurehead."
Loghain grunted. "Of course. He would have done that with Cailan if my daughter hadn't been so competent and independent."
"How much pull does Eamon have with the Landsmeet?" I asked.
Loghain frowned. "A lot, unfortunately, but Teagan does too. He's popular with the Bannorn."
"I'll do what I can to erode support for Eamon and bolster it for Teagan. Assuming, of course, that you agree to my plan."
"What do you want out of this, Cousland?" he asked, narrowing his eyes at me.
"I want to save this country, as you do. You don't strike me as the sort who really likes being in charge, but you're doing it because you feel you must. I happen to agree with you. We must keep this country united and we must fight the Blight. I am already raising allies to that end. I have Grey Warden treaties with the Dalish and the dwarves as well as the Circle of Mages. Between us both, we will have a substantial army that I hope you will lead against the archdemon."
Loghain shook his head at me. "This isn't a Blight," he grumbled, but I could hear the underpinnings of self-doubt.
"It is a Blight," I said, confidently.
"How do you know?"
Alistair would be furious with me if he were here, but he wasn't. "The Grey Wardens have a number of secrets that work to their disadvantage, at least in times of Blight. They really need to throw some sunlight on their role. My task is to deal with the Blight, using whatever means I can, and if divulging a few Grey Warden secrets is necessary, then so be it." I was arguing against Alistair in my mind.
"We drink some sort of magical concoction of darkspawn blood and something else. It gives us certain abilities and has certain side-effects. One side-effect is that we dream of darkspawn and, when it has risen, the archdemon. Every Grey Warden alive in Thedas is dreaming of the archdemon. We can nearly hear it speaking, nearly understand it. Sometimes it seems like it can see us."
He looked at me warily. "What else does this concoction do?"
"It gives us a massive appetite. We put away food like teenage boys, only worse. It also allows us to sense darkspawn. There may be other things, but my Grey Warden mentors all died before they could indoctrinate us fully."
Loghain scratched his eyebrow and looked at me.
"So, Loghain. You know my proposal now. Do you accept my help and accept that we have a common goal?"
He pondered, his gaze still trying to pierce me. "I still want to know what you want in return."
"There's just one thing I must ask for, otherwise no one will believe I'm Elissa Cousland," I said.
Loghain furrowed his brow. "You are Elissa Cousland."
I smiled apologetically at him. "No, not exactly, but hear out my request first. I must ask that Rendon Howe be brought to justice for what he did to Elissa's family and that you let me seek revenge."
He looked completely confused. "You are Elissa, why do you speak as if you aren't?"
"Answer me first. Will you let me seek revenge?" I badgered him.
"Very well, the man is completely out of control. He needs to be reined in. He was... well, he was useful for awhile, but he's unpredictable now. Associating with him isn't winning me any friends. I will allow you to challenge him to Blood Justice before the Landsmeet."
I looked at him, biting my lip. "What's that?"
That look of doubt crossed his face again. "What do you mean, "what is that"? Do you live in a cave? Blood Justice means you can duel him and the victor is assumed to be the righteous party."
I nodded. "That will do, then. So do we have a deal? Are we allies?"
He stared at me a moment longer. "Yes, if you can do all that you've promised here, we are allied." He glowered again. "But if you have deceived me in any way, you will pay for it in pain first, then death."
I held my hand out to him. "Very well." He gripped my hand in his and shook it once.
"Now, tell me what you have been hinting at." He leaned in closer to me and grasped my wrist.
"Yes, well... I'm not Elissa Cousland, entirely. Everything I have told you is the truth so far, I've just left out a piece of it." I looked down at his hand grasping my wrist. "This is going to take awhile to tell, and I'd rather not lose my hand to gangrene in the process."
He snorted with what I believe might have been amusement and let go of my wrist. "Go on."
"During the Joining ritual that makes one a Grey Warden, Elissa's mind was exchanged with mine. She woke up in the body of a ... somewhat ... older woman and I woke up in her body."
Loghain's face registered complete disbelief.
"Yeah, I didn't think you'd believe me, but hear me out. If we're going to be allied, I want you to know everything."
"Go on," he said, rolling his eyes and shaking his head.
"Duncan and Alistair were convinced I'd gone insane and they didn't want me to come to the meeting with you and the king, but there wasn't time to take me back to their camp. So, they took away my weapons - Just in case I was a homicidal maniac, I suppose - and told me to keep silent. I thought, when I woke up in your world, that I was dreaming." I blushed and hid a little smile behind the back of my hand. "I thought, in fact, it was a sex dream. That's why I was acting so... inappropriately. Sorry about that. I really had no idea what was going on."
Loghain just stared at me, shaking his head. I could imagine he was thinking he'd just allied himself with a raving lunatic. "A sex dream?" was all he said.
I shrugged, apologetically. "Duncan thought perhaps I was being possessed by a Fade spirit. So they had a mage do some sort of examination of me and that's when they figured out the truth of the matter. I was not possessed. My mind... my consciousness, was transplanted somehow into Elissa's body. The Grey Wardens decided that I should continue to be, for all intents and purposes, Elissa Cousland. They needed a recruit and I seemed to retain all of her training, plus my own. So they tried to stuff as much knowledge of this world into my head as they could in the two days leading up to the battle."
"Unfortunately the damage had been done from my flirtation with Cailan, and I had to spend my time dodging his advances, while trying to learn to be useful to the Grey Wardens."
Loghain blinked slowly. I could see skepticism, doubt, and distrust being written on his face. Clearly he thought I was completely barmy.
"Look, just let me finish this story before you write me off," I said.
"Go on, I haven't heard a tale this absurd in years," he said, dryly.
"So you know pretty much all that happened up until the battle. Alistair and I went to the tower, fought our way to the top, and shortly after we lit the beacon we were besieged by darkspawn. The last thing I remembered was seeing arrows lodging into my chest. I woke up some time later, miraculously not-dead, in a hovel in the Wilds. A pair of witches had rescued us from that swarm of darkspawn."
Loghain's lip curled in amusement. "Witches rescued you. And Alistair too, I suppose?"
"Yes," I said, smiling, wrinkling my nose. "Sounds ridiculous. I know." I spoke very fast because there was no getting around how stupid this was going to sound. "The older witch said she turned into a very large bird and plucked us off the rooftop." I drew a deep breath and hoped he hadn't paid attention to that part, but judging from the look on his face, he had. I looked morosely at him. "Yes, yes, I know." I waved my hand helplessly. "But I can verify a lot of this story. One of the witches travels with us. The other, Flemeth, well, I assume she's still in the Wilds."
He grasped my wrist again. "Flemeth?" He looked intensely interested again, instead of just skeptical and wary.
"You've heard of her? Yes, her name is Flemeth. She rescued us somehow and then she revealed she was responsible for switching my mind with Elissa's."
The look of total disbelief had disappeared from his face and was replaced with burning curiosity. "Why?" Loghain asked.
"That was what I wanted to know. Flemeth is a seer, I suppose. She said some things about how Elissa would fail and then Ferelden and perhaps Thedas would fall. She looked around for another solution and found me, on my world. She said she knew I had a chance to succeed. Somehow she managed to exchange our minds. Elissa woke up in an older woman's body and I woke up in hers. Unfortunately, my world proved to be too much for Elissa and she died, as did my old body. So, it appears I'm stuck here and your problems are now my problems."
He released my hand and looked out over the lake. His expression looked very troubled, pensive even. I hesitated a moment, but then I put my hand on his. "What is it?" I asked.
"I met Flemeth." His eyes seemed to be looking at nothing, perhaps they were seeing events long past. "Maric and I did. Long ago. We were both incredibly young. It was shortly after we met. He was nearly dead and she healed him. She told him her prophecies." His face grew angry. "Lies! She said that I would betray him, each time worse than the last." He cut off abruptly, his eyes looking pained. "He was my friend. Whatever I did was for him, it was for Ferelden. It made him a better king. It made the kingdom secure. We drove out the Orlesians. He was a good king."
He scowled, still looking over the lake. "The old woman lied. Her last lie was that a Blight would come after Maric died." He laughed harshly. "Stupid prophecy. Of course, there are hundreds of years between Blights, it makes sense he would be dead. I could have made that prophecy and been accurate."
Is this why Loghain didn't want to believe this was a real Blight? Because if her prophecy about that was right, then perhaps he had betrayed his friend, but didn't want to acknowledge it.
I squeezed his hand and he looked at me. "Maybe she's not always right," I said, trying to put a positive spin on it. "She said she couldn't guarantee I would succeed, only that my chances were better than Elissa's. That isn't much of a prophecy, if you ask me."
He grunted. "I do know that Elissa Cousland would never have allied with me over Eamon. The Cousland's were royalists too."
"There is one other thing," I said, trepidation building up in my gut again. "Flemeth sent her daughter with me because apparently as I fell to the darkspawn, I took quite a few of them out with a very large ball of fire. It would seem I am a mage, although I had no idea of this on my world."
He looked surprised, perhaps a bit shocked.
"I'm not very good at the sort of magic most of the Circle mages learn, but... Oh hell," I held out my hand and a little flame danced into existence in the center of my palm. "Others can verify my story. Alistair, Flemeth's daughter, Wynne - from the mage tower. Almost any mage can tell, healers in particular. They'll tell you right away there's something strange about me."
Loghain rubbed his forehead. I took my hand away from his. "Is there anything else?" he asked.
"One tiny thing," I said, fidgeting a bit. "Small, really. Hardly worth mentioning."
He glared at me.
"I'm the horse you rode in on." I smiled sheepishly.
"You're Lucy?" he asked, looking alarmed. "You're a shape-changer?"
"Lucy Woodridge," I held out my hand as if I were introducing myself. "My companions call me Lucy or Lissy. They sound pretty similar. I can pass them off as nicknames for Elissa."
He took my hand tentatively, as if almost afraid of me.
"So... " I looked at him cautiously, "do you actually believe me? And are you still willing to ally with us after hearing this crazy story?"
He looked dazed. I felt a bit sorry for him. "I don't see that I have a choice. You've convinced me this is a Blight. I'm sure you're not Elissa Cousland. I am a little disappointed though."
I looked at him, arching a brow. "Oh?"
"Lucy was an excellent horse. I hadn't ever met a horse so... " He suddenly laughed. "So you did understand me all along?"
I laughed hard. "Yes, sometimes I forget myself and nod or shake my head. I nearly gave myself away, didn't I?"
"I just want one concession from you, Lucy."
"All right, ask. If I can grant it, it is yours."
"I wish to ride you again in the future. You are an excellent mount."
I laughed again. "I barely know you, Teyrn Loghain. This is quite sudden." I joked, coyly.
His face soured. "Are you flirting with me, girl?"
"You started it," I said, smiling at him.
"I trust you'll give me a ride back to the stable?" he asked, changing the subject.
I nodded. "I will, but I'm too warm. I need to cool off first." The heat of the day and our ride had left me far too warm.
I stood up and turned to the lake. I lifted my tunic up, over my head.
"What are you doing?" he sputtered, but he didn't look away.
"Going for a swim. The water looks wonderful." I skimmed off my trousers. I hesitated a moment then threw my small clothes on the pile. "Care to join me?" I asked, a small smile on my face.
He looked at me a moment without responding. He seemed like a man who thought the ground was fixed under his feet for many decades, only to learn that the ground can shift, leap, and wiggle around like gelatin. Either one enjoys finding out that the world isn't what one thought it was, or one doesn't. I wondered which camp Loghain was in. I had my answer when he stood up and took off his trousers and his smalls.
"You're in pretty good shape for your age," I said. "Would you care to race to the island in the center?"
Loghain scoffed. "For my age? I accept, Lucy. You may be young, but I have experience."
I laughed in return. "Yes, about that. I'm not exactly young. In fact, on my world I was about your age. I don't think you have anything on me, Loghain. Or at least, not as much as you think."
His eyes met mine challengingly. "Perhaps you'd like to make a wager, then?"
I smiled and met his eyes. "Very well. What should we wager?"
"A boon. Some small gift or favor," he said.
I nodded. "Are you ready?"
He nodded.
"Go!" I shouted. I ran into the water and when it got deep enough I submerged myself. It was shockingly cold, worse than the Pacific Ocean where I lived. I felt like my muscles would lock up with the cold, but I pushed myself. I adjusted to the temperature quickly and I came up to the surface to begin crawling across the lake. Loghain was powerful, but his form was inefficient and I was soon pulling out ahead of him. My teenage years on a swimming team had trained me well.
I was very nearly ready to pull well away from him when I felt a hand clamp down on my ankle I was suddenly being pulled backwards.
"Cheater!" I shouted. He let go and I floundered for a moment, trying to recover my momentum. I quickly closed the distance again. I stayed further away from him this time, taking the lead and making it to the island first.
I stood on the shore with my hands on my hips, glaring at him as he climbed out. "You are an unbelievable cheater," I scowled at him.
He laughed at me. "I play to win, Lucy. That's something you should know about me. However, you did beat me. Savor it. It won't happen again. Name your boon."
I climbed over to a large, flat rock in the sunshine and sat on it, my hands resting behind me and my legs stretched out in front of me, basking in the sunshine. I squinted at Loghain, thinking of a suitable boon. He joined me on the rock. He looked out over the water, avoiding looking at my naked body.
"So what do you demand of me?" he asked.
"I think..." I looked over at him and he met my eyes. "I think I would like a kiss."
"A kiss?" He laughed. "Why on earth do you want a kiss?"
"You didn't win the race, why are you demanding an explanation?" I said, archly. "If you must know, I find you somewhat interesting, potentially attractive. You've weathered well."
He laughed hard at that. "Your effusive flattery makes me suspicious of your motives, madam."
"Do I get the kiss? You could refuse, or course. Then I would ask you to carry me back to the stable, instead me carrying you back."
"Very well, I'll give you the kiss. But you'll have to stop talking long enough that I can deliver it."
I shut my lips and smiled.
"You didn't say where you wanted the kiss," he said, dryly, the slight crinkle at the corner of his eyes the only indication he was jesting.
I rolled my eyes. "Antiva City."
He looked at me in feigned amazement. "So you want your kiss in an exotic locale?"
Was he flirting with me? I was surprised to find he seemed to have a sense of humor. "On the lips is fine," I suggested.
"A traditionalist then?"
"Look who can't stop talking now! You'd better deliver my boon soon or one of us is going to die of old age."
He chuckled. "All right then, prepare yourself," he said, leaning over me. He came closer to my face and stopped just short of my lips.
"Oh, for Maker's sake," I grumbled. I reached behind his neck and pulled his mouth down to mine. His lips relaxed a little and I sucked on his bottom lip a moment. He did seem a little tense. Maybe he was just out of practice. I teased his lip with my tongue and his own hesitantly emerged. He nibbled at my bottom lip. The kiss was mediocre, definitely without passion. My seduction was failing. We broke apart and he looked at me as if waiting for a comment.
"That was... nice," I said, noncommittally.
"Nice?"
I shrugged, expressing my indifference to the kiss. "Yes. It reminds me of the time in high school when I kissed Billy Weissberger behind the gym because he let me copy the answers off him. I kissed him nicely. Unlike the time I kissed Jack Summers. That kiss was definitely not nice. But you delivered on your boon, so our deal is satisfied."
"But you are not, apparently," he growled.
"Are you? You don't strike me as the sort who does anything halfway," I challenged him with my eyes.
"Maker's blood woman, do you ever stop talking?"
I was half-sitting up, on my elbows when he leaned over me again and this time he kissed me. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me in to him, my bare chest against his. His mouth was bruising this time and opened without hesitation. He bit my lower lip until I squirmed against him. His tongue explored my mouth, pushing my tongue out of the way. There was passion this time. His free hand went to my neck and slid to my chin, so he could turn my head how he wished. He broke away from my lips for a moment and kissed my neck, and sucked at the tender area at the top of my throat.
I sighed softly and his hand left my face and reached for a breast. He flicked at a nipple with his thumb and I arched my back and moaned. His mouth left mine. He laid me against the rock and began to suck on a nipple, pulling it with force into his mouth. It hurt but when he released it, it tingled as he fondled it with his fingers. His mouth returned to mine for a moment longer and then he pulled away. I could see he was as aroused as I was.
"Was that nice?" He watched my face as I answered.
"No." I smiled. "It was not nice. Just as it should be."
"Was it a half-measure?"
"No. It was a full portion," I acknowledged.
"So your boon was fully granted?"
"Most fairly," I said. I cocked my head to the side and asked: "What sort of contest would I have to win to ask for another boon?"
He shook his head.
"We could just skip the contest, declare me the winner and get to the good part," I suggested. I leaned into him and tried to kiss him, but he held me away.
"I'm not making love on a rock," he grumbled.
"A pile of leaves?" I suggested, but he shook his head. "Soft grass?" He refused me again.
"A bed. I'm too old for this. I'd end up limping for a week."
"I have nothing against beds, Loghain, but yours is in a palace that is currently slightly hostile to me." I shifted uncomfortably on the rock. He was right; the rock was brutal on my behind.
"That will be fixed," he said, decisively. "I will have orders issued by tomorrow to cease hunting for the Grey Wardens and issue a pardon. I will have Howe in custody by the end of the week, he will be brought before the Landsmeet. You may challenge him then and duel him, or have a champion do it." He stood up and paced on the rock, thinking. "After Howe is in custody, you and your companions can move into his Denerim estate, until another Arl is appointed." He extended his hand to me and helped me stand. "Where are you staying?" he asked.
I laughed. "I was in your stable for the last four days, utterly bored out of my mind. I'll have to find an inn." I didn't fully trust him; I wasn't going to tell him where my companions were.
"I'll have a room made available for you at the Gnawed Noble, under the name of Lucy Woodridge. I'll come see you this evening and we can discuss our accord further." He was very business-like now.
I nodded.
"We'd better get back. They're going to start worrying sooner or later," he said.
"Right." I had finally dried off from my last swim. I wasn't looking forward to braving that ice cold water again, but I waded in and swam across at a leisurely pace. I was plenty cool when I got out of the water. In fact, I was shivering.
Loghain laughed at me when he saw me looking blue-lipped. "You got cooled off I take it?"
"D...d... do... you have a towel?" I asked, shivering.
"Towel?" He laughed. "No, I don't have a towel. I figured I'd just stick my clothes on and in this heat they'd dry off before I got back."
I began to pull on my clothes over my wet body, hoping they'd dry while I was in horse form. It was miserable having my clothes stick to me, but judging from the way Loghain's eyes swept over my body, he didn't disapprove.
"Where's the gear?" he asked.
I pointed in the direction and, when he went in search of it, I transformed.
He looked startled to see his horse again. "I guess if there was any lingering doubt, it's gone now," he said. "I just wish you did it in front of me," he said. "I'd like to see it."
I shook my head. I was very self-conscious about doing it in front of people. Only my closest companions saw me do it. It looked very strange. Not the best idea to do it in front of someone I was trying to seduce.
"I'm not sure how I like you best," he said patting my neck. "You're certainly beautiful in this form." Loghain saddled me and mounted. "And there's the added advantage that you can't talk." I whinnied a protest to that last barbed comment and he laughed.
I guess he'd had plenty of opportunity to kill me now if he wanted to. I think our understanding was genuine. I relaxed and enjoyed the ride back. I showed him my fancy Antivan trot on our trip back.
"That's nice, but I like going fast," he said.
I snorted an acknowledgment and I was soon back into a gallop. My shivering blue lips were forgotten. We thundered across the fields until we were nearly within sight of the stables. I stopped and Loghain got off and removed the tack. He was setting it down on the ground, his back turned, when I transformed back into my human form.
When he turned around he saw me standing there. "I'd rather hoped to see the process," he said.
"It's not something I like people to see," I said. "It's very odd looking. I feel self-conscious about it."
Loghain picked up my hand. "This has been a most interesting morning." He looked me in my eyes, his expression very intense.
I stood up on tiptoe and kissed him on the mouth. "It has been, Loghain. Thank you for listening to my proposal and not writing me off as completely crazy."
He grunted. His grunts seemed to be a whole vocabulary in and of itself. It might have been "you're welcome", or "my pleasure", or maybe it was an expression of annoyance at the kiss. I watched him walk away from me and I wondered how he would explain the missing horse to his Master of Horses.
When he was out of sight, I transformed into a crow. I wanted to keep that form a secret from him. I flew back to the inn where my friends were. How far could I trust Loghain? Something he had said had stuck with me. 'I play to win'. He wasn't above cheating, poisoning an enemy, doing whatever it took to win. If what Duncan had said was authentic and not overstated, he was like a Grey Warden dealing with a Blight. He did whatever it took. I had no doubt Loghain had had far more experience applying that principle than I had.
I must have looked terrible. My clothes were horribly wrinkled, my hair was wild. It was a wonder they didn't kick me out of the inn. I found Alistair's room and knocked. He opened the door and I leapt on him, hugging him.
"It worked, Al!" I hollered. "Loghain has agreed to work with us! We'll be at the Landsmeet, explaining what happened at Ostagar. I'm going to get to duel Howe and avenge Elissa. Then we'll have use of his estate in Denerim until a new Arl is appointed."
Alistair hugged me back, laughing. "That's great news! What happened to you? You're an absolute mess."
I grinned. "Get the others and I'll explain it over a feast!" I leapt around, dancing, jiving, celebrating the fact I didn't have to be cloistered in a stable and that the plan seemed to have worked. I grabbed Alistair in an impromptu dance and spun him out of his room. "I need to bathe and change and I'll be downstairs. My packs are in your room, right?"
He nodded, a huge grin on his face. "I've never seen you so... happy!"
"Things are going our way for a change," I yelled.
Doors in the inn opened and faces peered out at us, the two lunatics dancing down the hallway.
I let go of Alistair and walked back to his room singing "Whatever Lola wants, Lola gets". I shut the door on his room, still singing at the top of my lungs and filled his tub and bathed away the horse smells, hopefully for the last time in a very long time. He had soap, scented soap, I didn't even care that the scent was masculine. Anything to erase the smell of horse from my nose!
Whatever Lola wants, Lola gets
And little man, little Lola wants you
Make up your mind to have
No regrets
Recline yourself
Resign yourself, you're through
I always get what I aim for
And your heart and soul
Is what I came for.
Notes: Just in case anyone is as ignorant about today's American slang as I am, "got back" means one is callipygian. What? That didn't help? Callipygian means one has finely-shaped buttocks. That slang comes from ancient Greece. If anyone appreciated fine buttocks, it was the ancient Greeks!
I've compiled a list of cultural references on my Dreamwidth journal. If my references to deceased movie stars, famous photographs, or modern American slang is confusing go to: zute dot dreamwidth dot org and you'll find some links, pictures, quotes and such that should help explain things.
