disclaimer: shh no words only dreams. The only thing I don't own at this point is TVD characters. I'm so sorry.

JESUS CHRIST. More than a thousand reviews? GUYS. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY, OTHER THAN HOLY SHIT I AM SO SORRY THAT IT'S TAKEN ME THIS LONG TO THROW TOGETHER A FRIGGIN' CHAPTER. I wanted this to be way longer and cut a thousand words out because I honestly don't know how much longer this is going to take. I AM SO VERY VERY VERY VERY SORRY!

SO MUCH is happening in real life, it's friggin' crazy. Hate boy drama, especially when it's confusing as hell! Also JackieOh is now dating my ex's new girlfriend's son.

He plays lacrosse and we're pretty sure he's a werewolf.
YEah BECAUSE MY FRIGGIN EX IS DATING THIS CHICK WHO IS SO MUCH OLDER THAN US WTF

Guys. guys. I just. I'm so thankful to all of you, and your kind words and support and encouragement mean THE FUCKING WORLD TO ME. Seriously, I'd be nothing without you guys! A MEGA HUGE THANK YOU TO MY GREATEST REVIEWERS: suntan140, VampirePrincess11, White Ivy, nessafly, Dark-n-Twisty, ActualSoulmateJackieOh, tablekorner, MrsMusicAddict (glad to hear you had a good holiday, hope you're feeling happier these days!), BFF1llu510n, SomebodyWhoCares, VERO, melissawtf, Calliope's Scribe, DaisukethePenguin, taramegareader, The epic one, ShellyC, dark, Guest(s), The Things You Wish You Knew (*HUGS*), padfootfaerie123 (thankie bb!), Kitsunekit75, lily. li. flower1, Sissymac, Tamsin Salvatore, BiteMe-NotLiterally, gabrielsavestheday (cries why must you spit water at me), Randomreader1320 ('Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!' omg i'm gonna have to make that canon), every-storm-runs-out-of-rain (thank you for all the reviews bb!), TwilightEclps, Dreams and Dust (STOP MAKING ME LAUGH SO DAMN HARD. It's gonna be canon, Clarissa-Elijah-Dragon), AngelicTimelord, nightwatchers2, kvdsouza, Lana Scott (congrats on your marriage to clarissa, shes ur problems now), Miss Shannon, jjaejjae, XxxKitKatxxX, Spazzy13, RedestBlood, leocin, yumiko1122, moonlightkiss1515, Snowball A. K. A. WinterWolf!


"Uh huh. Yeah. And then he just... upped and left!" I murmured conversationally, half distracted, as I happily continued doodling a beautiful picture of me stabbing Elijah in the throat with a dildo. I was currently sitting cross legged on the floor, surrounded by broken red colored pencils, happily drawing on the wall. "Right? Like who even does that?" I smacked my lips together, smiling angrily as I applied more pressure to the colored pencil. "I'll tell you who, vampires. Can't. Friggin'. Trust. 'em."

I glanced over to Ryan, my new found friend. Well. Technically he was a mop that I had taken, but that was then, and this was now. He was leaning against the wall I was currently (and angrily) defacing, dressed in the hotel staff's uniform because, apparently, the staff here were all too willing to strip down per request. When Elijah had said the staff were compelled to keep me comfortable, I hadn't realized that meant I had a bunch of slaves. Which was cool, and I hoped Elijah realized I was going to take full advantage of that. Now, every single person who worked here was doing so in the complete nude. Like one hundred percent naked. Like, not even wearing their socks!

Ha.

Despite being a mop, Ryan nodded, agreeing completely with me about stupid Elijah.

Friggin' hate that jerk. It didn't even matter if I was now King of the Hotel, able to command sixty something people do my bidding, because stupid Elijah hadn't been kidding or even exaggerating a teensy bit about that whole super annoying being trapped in here thing. It was, as I had come to find out, literally impossible (SERIOUSLY impossible) to leave the hotel unless I was willing to fling myself from the fifth floor balcony. I had come to find out fairly quickly that every single door and window in this goddamn place was lined with, surprise surprise, iron. HA! Oh, Elijah! The only door to a balcony that wasn't lined with iron, was the one in that room I had woken up in. Maybe it was poetic, having my freedom at the tips of my fingers, being able to feel it in the form of a breeze, being able to sit outside, so close, yet five stories too far away. I hadn't reached that point where I was willing to plummet to my death. Besides the terror and crippling pain of breaking every bone in my body, I wasn't sure if the staff would drag my corpse back inside anyway.

'Cause, now get ready for this one! Nobody was allowed in or out of the hotel! Nobody! At all! Ever! You'd think someone (Damon! Stefan! Fucking someone!) would notice that this nice four star hotel right on the fucking beach was open, and refusing any of their (ENTIRELY NAKED) staff to leave or guests to check in! Ha! What even is this shit? What even is this fucking shit?

So if I jumped, would their compulsion force them to stay inside, or did Elijah consider my quasi-suicide and have them compelled to retrieve me at any cost? There were many, many, times in which I'd contemplate setting this entire stupid building on fire, but the chances of burning to death and killing an entire building of innocent people didn't look that appealing either. I was stuck.

So very stuck.

I had searched for every damn loophole imaginable only to come back empty handed and emotionally exhausted. I wasn't sure if my own fear of the unknown was the reason I didn't seem to be able to enter The Haze or if Elijah had thought of that as well. It was for the best, I didn't know how to work the damn thing or how to even travel or leave it on my own, and I was kind of afraid of being stuck in there forever. I even attempted to Glamour some of the staff... But compulsion trumped Glamour by tenfold. Hell hath no fury like a prissy vampire bitch scorned.

I was living in the perfect prison and while I was pissed to hell, a tiny part of me couldn't help but admire Elijah for how stupidly well thought out this all was. I wondered how long he had been planning this, I wondered how long I'd been on his mind. I bet he thought about me often and that, in itself, was a little flattering, kind of empowering... And probably one of the most frightening things in the entire world.

The worst of it was that I wasn't even sure how long I had been here. Never mind the fact that Elijah had seriously removed every clock, television and radio from the entire hotel, but I only slept when I passed out. I strongly suspected that they were drugging the food so I tended to eat as little as possible. With the lack of sleep and hunger, the days and nights became an endless blur. I couldn't even be sure how much time had passed.

I'd been stuck in this stupid hotel for days. Days. Actual days! I wasn't sure which devastated me more, my lack of rescue, or my inability to save myself. I was Clarissa! Nothing and nobody was supposed to get one up on me! And yet here I was! Waiting. Again. Like always. I hated being helpless, I hated anxiously, desperately, hopefully, waiting!

So, clearly, the only thing I could do was cart around my mop buddy Ryan and litter every single wall with my cave-man like drawings depicting how much I hated Elijah!

I'd tell him to suck it, but fuck that! If I had a dick, I wouldn't even want him to! Fuck that fucking asshole!

The bright, angrily red, colored pencil I'd been using to furiously scribble in all the blood splatter around fucking stupid Elijah's neck suddenly snapped in half. I sat frozen for a moment before angrily chucking the pencil at the wall only to have it bounce back and fly at me. Hitting me. Right in the face.

"Fuck it, I'm jumping!" I exploded angrily, staggering to my feet. A wave of exhaustion slammed back into me and the hallway spun, around and around and around, causing me to crash back into the ground with with a groan. I grabbed the sides of my head, trying to make the hallway still, as I stumbled back to my feet, swaying dangerously as the ground tilted toward me again. This was such bullshit! "Shut up, Ryan," I snapped at my mop buddy, knowing he was totally laughing at me.

Using mop buddy Ryan as a staff, I stumbled and swayed down the hall, feeling like a drunk Gandalf. I swear, once I got out of here, I was going to do something awful to Elijah. I'd torture him slowly. I had all freakin' eternity to mess with him. I'd cut his nails really short and then make him press his fingers down on things! I grumbled to myself all the way back to that room, throwing the door open and tossing mop buddy Ryan onto the bed. I wouldn't force him into a suicide-pact with me, that'd be rude. Straightening, I stalked, with purpose, toward the open balcony, humming the Pirates of the Caribbean theme song, which made everything more epic and dramatic. I knew what I had to do. I just had to jump. Just leap. To my death. I couldn't think about it, I couldn't hesitate, because if I did, even for a second, I knew I wouldn't be able to throw myself off. And I just... I couldn't stay locked up in here anymore without trying everything to get away. I needed to do this!

The light from the sun blanketed across my skin, doing nothing against the biting chill of the air, and I momentarily let myself take in the glistening, endless, ocean which was stretched out before me, the sky and sea merging until they were interchangeable. So pretty. The metal railing was cold against my numbing, trembling, fingers as I hoisted myself up quickly. Don't look down, don't look down. I drew in a breath, shutting my eyes, and lunged forward—only for my eyes to snap open as I found myself being ripped backwards. Flailing, I screeched in surprise, landing on top of something—someone—hard, rolling off them and back into that room. Nausea and dizziness slammed into me mercilessly and I moaned as the entire room began to violently spin again. Miserably, I let myself lay in defeat on the carpeted floor.

What the fuck, I couldn't even fake kill myself.

"What are you doing!" A voice, male, and one that I didn't recognized, yelped in a slightly cracked and high pitched voice.

I squinted through the dizziness at a guy stumbling to his feet and blinked slowly at him. Placing my palm flat on my forehead, I slowly sat up, staring in baffled confusion as the stranger continued to tell me off for trying to jump to my death, and how it was a terrible idea, and that I had so much to live for.

Who the hell...?

I slid my eyes down his lanky form, eyeing his wrinkled baggy blue hoodie and the plaid shirt underneath it with a judgmental frown. Why would he wear that? Something stirred in my confused, foggy, thoughts and my lips parted in surprise. Why would he be wearing that? All staff were demanded to wear their birthday suits! But here this guy was, wearing clothes!

"Why are you wearing that?" I blurted out, cutting him off, and he closed his mouth, frowning at me and then glancing down at himself, picking at his shirt, before raising his head to give me a rather hurt look.

"What's wrong with what I'm wearing?" He didn't realize what I was talking about and a strange hope swelled in my chest, my head feeling cloudy, dizzy, with the possibilities.

He wasn't wearing the uniform that staff was required to wear. He wasn't even naked. "Take your clothes off." I demanded, shakily rising to my feet, feeling slightly hysterical. "Get naked." My heart was slamming loudly in my ears, pounding against my ribcage.

He gasped and covered his chest with his hands, tilting his body away from me as though he needed to cover himself. "No! I won't! We just met!" He said, defying my request and causing me to giggle. Hysterically. With relief. He wasn't compelled!

Which meant he didn't work here!

Which meant he wasn't compelled!

Which meant he could help me escape! If he got in, he could get out!

Which meant he wasn't compelled!

He was a real person! Here! And he could tell me where I was! Or let me call Damon! Damon... My heart fluttered painfully at the prospect of hearing his voice, of finding out if Elena and Jeremy were okay!

If I was a princess, locked in this terrible tower, than this gangly, dorky, gawky guy with big ears, dressed in wrinkled plaid and a hoodie that looked a size too big, was my prince!

"Hey... How'd you get that blood on you?" His curious, slightly concerned, voice cut through my thoughts and I stared back at him in utter confusion.

"Blood?" I repeated. What blood...? His gaze slid down and my own followed, staring in wonderment upon seeing the dried blood smeared across the front of my extremely wrinkled blue dress. My brows furrowed. "Oh... I don't..."

My breath caught violently in my throat as memories came rushing in like waves, smashing against my thoughts, unstoppable and so powerful that it swept everything else away. Suddenly all I could see was Damon's cruel, destructive, rage, the utter malice and aggression that had been sprawled across his darkly beautiful face and the way his burning blue eyes had ripped me into pieces. It was all so vivid, blinding.

And—And then...

And then Nate's... Nate's murder.

Replayed before my eyes.

An inescapable tape left to skip on repeat, jumping back to the same spot over and over again. The absolute terror and agony I had felt flared, filling every part of me, creaking through my bones and, in a rising panic, I realized I was drowning. I couldn't—couldn't breathe! It came out as short, painful, gasps, my chest heaving as I desperately tried to pull air back into my lungs, my thoughts on fire as the memories blazed, searing and terrible.

"Whoa, hey, it's okay, it's okay!" The guy said, in a tone of voice that somehow managed to drag me back from an abyss, curving the hysteria slightly. I jerked away from his touch, stumbling backwards, staring at him with wide eyes.

"It's... It's not my blood! It's not mine, it's not mine, oh God! It's not my blood!" My voice cracked and fell into a whisper. "He's dead, Nate's dead, he's really dead, oh God, oh God, he's dead!" Bile rose to my throat, my stomach lurching. I couldn't do this right now! I didn't want to do this right now! My entire body was shaking and I was struggling with keeping the tears back. They stung at my eyes, burning and irritating, my throat threatening to close. "I wanna go home! I just wanna go home! I don't wanna be here any more! Please, I just wanna go home!"

I wanted Elena and cry on her! I wanted Damon to make it all go away with a single look! I wanted Jeremy to play video games with me, and I wanted Jenna to give me advice, and I wanted Stefan to say something sarcastic but comforting and I wanted Caroline and Bonnie to tell me pointless gossip and be there for me!

I just wanted to be home!

"And home you'll go, I promise," the guy said warmly, casting me a reassuring smile, his warm fingers curling around my elbow. I jerked back and he held his hands up slowly, his gaze meeting mine. "I'm not gonna hurt you, you can trust me. Do you want to sit down? Tell me what's going on?"

"I don't want to trust anyone! I just want to go home!" What if I was being Glamoured to feel calmed by him? What if he was working for Elijah? What if he was working for someone else who wanted to cause problems? How did he get in here? How could I let myself trust him? He so happened to be in here? When I so happened to decide to leap off the balcony? Was he mop buddy Ryan come to life?

He looked a little put out, but understanding, as though this was all so very typical for him! Maybe he expected my response! "Hmm..." he suddenly lit up, grinning a rather goofy grin at me. "Oh, I know! I'll prove to you that this is sort of my job, that you can trust me! Here, look..." my heart jumped when he pulled out a busted up flip phone.

A phone! I could tell Damon where I was!

"Where are we? Where am I? What state am I in? What hotel?" I blurted out, inching closer, wondering if I could overpower this guy and take his phone. He looked so skinny and flimsy. I bet if I got him by surprise, I'd have a good chance at calling Damon before he caught up with me.

He looked up from scrolling through his phone. "You don't know where you are?" He furrowed his eyebrows, looking at me thoughtfully, and I bristled, swiping my wet cheeks with the back of my hand as I straightened.

"I was kidnapped okay? And drugged!" I huffed defensively, slanting my chin upward. "I want to know where I am right now!"

"We're in East Hampton. New York." Seriously? Seriously? I would be in the Hamptons! Why wouldn't I be? Duh, so obvious! I scoffed to myself, silently fuming that I hadn't been found yet. The guy held my gaze for a moment, his eyes serious, before he tilted his head, glancing back toward the couch. "I'm guessing you were chained up?" He glanced back at me as the color ripped from my cheeks, my own stupid fear of iron causing me to suck in a sharp breath. "Did someone hurt you?"

"Kind of suspicious, you showing up here, in this room. How'd you even get into the hotel?" I demanded, my voice wavering slightly. Clenching my fists, I shoved down the irrational fear that coiled around in my stomach tightly. My nerves were beyond frazzled and it was difficult to think clearly through the exhaustion and terror, but I'd be damned if I let myself fall apart now!

He gestured toward the balcony. "All the windows and doors are sealed shut, this was the only room with an open balcony door." Goddamn it, Elijah. He really thought this through. Did he get a friggin' witch to lock this place up? "I noticed the balcony door was open when I was scouting out the area." Why was he scouting out the area? Was he... was he breaking in to steal things?

I tossed him a look, hoping I looked in control and not freaked out of my mind. "But how did you get in here? We're on the fifth floor!"

He laughed—or rather, giggled, looking ridiculously pleased with himself. "I just said I was a window washer and borrowed an aerial work platform."

I stared at him.

...Wha?

If I had looked down before attempting to leap, would I have noticed a giant aerial work platform just hanging right below the balcony?

But who goes around saying they're window washers? Didn't he have to provide proof? Do they just give those machines to anyone? Unless he wasn't human... unless he Glamoured or compelled his way!

"Here, look, let me explain better—this is kind of my job, I'm a hunter." He continued happily and I gawked back at him, imagining him dressed up in the old fashioned hunting gear, fighting lions and killing people for sport. Oh God, was this going to become a game? Was he going to chase me throughout the hotel and kill me over and over again? "There's been reports that this hotel was open but refusing anyone to check in for nearly two weeks now, and that people have caught glimpses of the staff completely naked—"

"Two weeks?" I repeated, panic rising. "Two weeks?" There was no way! There was no way that I had been here for two weeks! No way! My breaths came in and out quickly and I attempted to swallow only to choke, triggering the hectic panic I had felt before—I was drowning! My lungs were on fire! "What day is it?" I managed to choke out, raising a hand, keeping him from coming any closer. "What day is it!"

"It's the seventeenth." The guy said uncertainly, looking at me with concern and pity. "November seventeenth."

November... November seventeenth? And when did I get here? The Sunday after Stefan's birthday—which was... Which was the fifth, so I got here... I got here... The seventh? I was here for, what, ten days? Nine? Eleven? I couldn't think through the rushing thoughts, the heightened panicked feeling that was setting every nerve in my body on high alert, and the exhaustion the hung around me like a thick fog. Hurt, betrayed, tears prickled, threatening to spill over as they blurred my vision.

How could I be left here for two weeks?

Why didn't anyone find me?

That's not how stories were suppose to go.

...Didn't I matter?

"I'm guessing you know a little bit about the supernatural world," his voice ripped me out of my spiraling, anguished, thoughts, and I snapped my eyes back to him, feeling wary. "It's why I'm telling you all this. I, uh..." he ducked his head, looking embarrassed. "Went through your purse right before you came in here. I saw the shackle and the music box and the pictures..." he trailed off, eyes turning toward the stick figures of me murdering Elijah every way possible all over the walls. His gaze flickered back to me, a little amused, and a little anxious. "I found your stakes covered in vervain—smart idea, by the way. I didn't even think of that." He went through my purse?! As though sensing my mood, his eyes widened. "I—I was just looking for some ID, to see who had been here! I didn't find any-"

"Wait," I cut in, impatient, annoyed, and at my wits end with the constant up and down my moods were flinging me into. "What do you mean, you didn't find any? My ID is in my wallet." He opened his mouth, and I shook my head, laughing, stalking past him angrily, scooping up my open purse on the table, going through it. He just... He just didn't see it. Because he's stupid. "No. It's in my wallet. It's in my wallet. It has to be in my wallet!"

I angrily dumped the contents of my bag out onto the table. Where the hell was my wallet? Where could it have gone? I had it with me—

I froze.

My wallet was gone. Which meant my ID was gone. My ID with my address on it.

"Elijah." I whispered his name almost fearfully until rage spilled over and I hissed. Why the hell was I going to let some fucking asshole wreck my life! I wasn't going to be afraid of that loser! Fuck him! Fuck this! "You fucking rat bastard! Leaving me here to rot! I hate vampires! They're so fucking dramatic and stupid! All they're good for is throwing rocks at! Goddamn it!" I angrily threw my purse down and released a frustrated scream.

And immediately burst into tears.

"He knows where I live, he knows where I live!" He was going to get Elena and I was literally helpless! I couldn't protect her! I couldn't protect anyone! I was trapped here! Maybe forever! This was what it meant to play hero! Being helpless to save the people that are most important! That's how all heroes ended up! Watching the people they loved die!

A cold rage settled through me, my tears subsiding. I wasn't ever going to be the hero. I was going to be the villain. I was going to become something so horrible and frightening, even vampires like Elijah would be afraid to cross me. I didn't care if it meant I would do things that would cause Elena and Jeremy to push me away, at least they'd be alive. No second chances for anyone.

I would burn the world before I let anyone attempt to do something to hurt my family.

Before I let someone get one over me again.

"Why is... Elijah... keeping you in here?" The guy's voice tugged at me and I hiccuped moodily, my head feeling stuffed up and aching. I tilted back toward him, feeling even more weary and exhausted.

"Because vampires are dramatic and he's pissed off at me." I snapped, my hands on my hips as I redirected my irritation onto him. "Who are you anyway?" I demanded and he slapped his forehead.

"I forgot to introduce myself!" He was just a bundle of happy times, my mood rolling right off him, an easy, goofy, smile on his boyish face. "I'm Garth, I'm going to be saving you today!"

Garth? "Like Aqualad?" I wondered moodily, thinking back to Year One Teen Titans and how Garth would flop around and puke up bottled water.

He looked delighted. "You read comics—wait... No, I mean, who are you?" He seemed honestly curious and despite my resolve to be the baddest bitch in the entire world, there was something so real and goofy about him that made me have trouble distrusting him. I frowned, pursing my lips, not wanting to give in. "It's okay, I'm here to help. I just want to know what's going on."

"Clarissa... Saltzman." I wasn't sure why I said Alaric's last name instead of my own. Maybe I didn't want to connect myself to Gilberts just in case, maybe because something about Alaric made me feel... Safe. Something flickered across his face, recognition, and his eyes lit up.

He snapped his fingers. "That's right! I was wondering why you looked oddly familiar!" I stiffened, my heart skipping a few beats in fear. Nothing good ever came out of me looking familiar! Did he mean—"I met your dad a year and a half ago!" ...What? My dad? "He was looking for your mom, you look a lot like her. Did you guys ever find her?"

He was... He was talking about Alaric? Being my dad?

"You know Alaric?" I blurted out, feeling dizzy, thrown for a moment. Garth nodded happily and I hesitated, releasing a small breath. He was talking about Isobel—okay. Okay. Because I look like Isobel. "I... No. I haven't—we—haven't found her—she's... She's a vampire now."

Garth's face fell and I felt oddly guilty, especially when he looked at me like I was going through something horribly tragic. "I'm sorry." And he sounded like he meant it.

But my mind was leaping onto something he had said before, suddenly, ideas stirring around in the mess that was my mind. "You said you were a hunter." Which meant... Alaric was a hunter, too? "So does that mean you can just... borrow equipment? To get into places you need?" Was this a whole underground establishment with rules I hadn't known about?

And if it was, I was going to use the hell out of it.

Garth laughed (giggled), and held up his phone. "Not... not exactly. There's a lot of lying involved, which I feel really bad about, and sometimes we have people to pretend to confirm it... Wait. Here. Let me explain by showing you."

He motioned me closer and I, suspiciously and hesitantly, inched closer to him, glancing down at the number on his phone with the name Bobby written above it. Garth grinned at me like we were about to do something naughty. With the phone on speaker, the rings crinkled loudly in the room, slightly staticy.

"Yeah, Garth, what you got?" A gruff voice demanded form the other end, his voice a little chopped up with the bad reception.

"Oh, hi Bobby!" Garth said happily, like the annoyed, moody, voice on the other end was a life long friend he was catching up with. "So that hotel you sent me to... It turns out it's a vampire ring selling people into slavery for money."

I glanced at Garth but he just shrugged a shoulder.

"...Never heard of a vamp doin' that." The gruff voice muttered. "Doesn't sound like our kind of thing. Better drop a dime to the FBI."

Bobby immediately disconnected while my eyebrows raised curiously. The way he had spoken about vampires... Was this hunter thing really... legit?

Garth's grin grew. "Okay, watch this." He was nearly gushing, like this was the bees knees, the funniest damn thing ever. I watched him scroll to a new number.

The crinkling rings filled the room.

"Willis, FBI." The same gruff voice muttered with an authoritative ring. Huh...

"Hi, me again, Bobby!" Garth said happily and there was a groan from the other end.

"...No, Garth, not me the FBI! The real FBI!" Bobby snapped with a frustrated sigh. "How are you still alive?" Without waiting for Garth to respond, he disconnected. Rude.

But Garth didn't even seem taken aback by it. Actually, he seemed rather pleased with himself, a wide, goofy, grin stretched across his face. And I realized my own lips were pulling upward into my own grin, amusement chipping away at the cold fear and terror.

We grinned stupidly at each other like a pair of teenagers at a sleepover who decided to prank call an ex.

"Okay, let's get out of here!" I gushed, breaking the weird moment I was having with a complete stranger, quickly turning away from him. For a moment, I had felt such gratitude toward him, that everything that had been going on was at the tip of my tongue, waiting to spill out.

I shoved it down, I didn't know him, and I didn't owe him the truth of why I was here or anything. I just needed to get out. I swept everything back into my purse (grudgingly and carefully putting the music box in as well) before turning back to Garth and staring at him with hopeful expectation. Garth seemed happy to oblige my request, and I happily ignored the slight pity that was brimming under his warm gaze.

"So, Elijah..." Garth began in a friendly way, like it was every day conversation to talk about him, as we attempted to escape the prison Elijah created for me. Garth was currently wiggling down the railing on the balcony, the platform, like he said, just hovering below. "He's a vampire."

"Yes." I watched, in amusement, as Garth lost his footing and shrieked as he fell (with a faaawp! and a groan) onto the platform. He moaned, sitting up, rubbing his elbow.

He bounced back to his feet, like it'd never happened, and fiddled with the controls on the platform. "So this vampire, Elijah, kidnapped you, and left you prisoner in this hotel with no way to escape unless you jumped off the fifth floor balcony?" Garth was regurgitating information back to me as the platform slowly groaned upward. "And the entire hotel staff is..."

"Compelled. Yes." I nodded, handing him my bag carefully as the platform stopped a little bit below the top of the railing.

Garth nodded thoughtfully, placing my bag down, and then turning to me, offering his hands. Please. "And they're naked because?"

I snorted, hoisting myself upward. "Because Elijah compelled them to do whatever I asked them to do." I explained, sitting on the railing and sliding myself into the platform. "Except, you know, anything that would allow me to leave. So I made everyone get naked."

Garth furrowed his eyebrows, staring at me seriously, as though everything I was saying sounded odd to him. "But I don't understand, why kidnap you, leave you imprisoned here? Did he feed—"

"Fledgling." Nate's voice chimed like sweet bells, swirling around my head, overriding every other sense and I whirled around, my heart bursting open upon seeing Nate's familiar face. It was almost devastating how hopelessly relieved and happy I was to see him.

"Nate?" His name came pouring out breathlessly and I found myself leaning forward, towards him, unable to look anywhere else. "Nate? How did you find me? But I..." And suddenly all I could see was his death, flashing, bright and scorching, before my eyes. I gasped, staggering backwards into—into Garth who grabbed my shoulders. "I saw you—you're... You...! I-I don't... I don't...! You're—you're..." Nausea gripped me as grief spread like a grim chill through me, tearing down every wall I had hastily thrown up since Elijah abandoned me in the hotel room. I clung to Garth, a sob tearing from my throat. "He's dead, he's dead! Oh God!"

No, no, no, no!

Elijah was doing this to me! He was torturing me! Mentally! He was never going to let me go, he was going to drive me crazy!

I was suddenly behind Garth who was fumbling with something, my fingers shaking as I grasped his hoodie, feeling like if I didn't hold onto something I'd be swept away. Nate's amused hazel eyes met mine.

"Fledgling..." he cooed, voice like bells, and I could feel him even from over here, Nate's very being ghosting over me like fingers, a warmth I hadn't felt in so long spilling through me. "Don't be so draaaamatic, I—"

BANG!

I released a surprised scream as Garth fired a gun, hitting Nate straight in the chest, causing him to topple off the edge of the platform, falling off.

Oh my God! I clamped a hand over my mouth, stunned, gaping at the spot where Nate had been. Garth seemed equally startled, standing awkwardly in front of me, the gun in his hand.

"...Ghosts aren't supposed to do that." Garth said after a few seconds, snapping me from my stunned shock, and I dropped my hand, staring at him.

"Oh my God, you killed Nate!" I cried and Garth sputtered, looking horribly guilty.

"You said he was dead! And then he just appeared! I thought he was a ghost!" Garth cried back and I was pulling at my hair.

"Why does everyone keeping dying?!" I wailed, confused and upset. "I hate this universe, I hate it!"

"What? What? What do you mean by that?!" Garth gaped at me.

"Why do you keep befriending rude people?!" Nate demanded with a whine, causing Garth and I to scream and jerk our heads upward. Nate pouted down at us, standing on the railing of the platform, rubbing his chest. "He shot me!"

I was suddenly furious and grabbed the end of Nate's shirt, tugging. "You bastard!" I exploded as he swayed, flailing.

"Fledgling, stop it!" Nate whined, trying to swat my hands away.

"I thought you were dead!" I burst out heatedly. "I cried! I was heartbroken!"

"Calm down, Clarissa!" Garth said, trying to pull me away but I grabbed a fist full of Nate's shirt and I wasn't letting go. "You'll rock this too much, we'll all fall!"

"I was dead!" Nate said matter-of-factly. "And now I'm not! Ta-daaaaa!" Nate sang, spreading his arms out widely, as though presenting something and I released a furious scream, lunging for the stupid ass Fae.

Garth threw his arms around my waist mid-lunge, losing his footing causing the three of us, as I was still gripping Nate's shirt, to slam into the bottom of the platform in a mess of limbs and bodies. I crawled out from under Garth, who was moaning in pain, climbing on top of Nate to strangle the shit out of him.

"YOU LET ME BELIEVE YOU WERE DEAD!" I was seeing red I was so furious. Nate gagged and choked as I squeezed his neck with both hands, shaking him. "You left me to get kidnapped! You didn't save me! You are literally the worst parent in the entire world!" I was in tears by the end of my shouting, my fingers growing slack as I crumbled, burying my face into his warm chest.

Nate's very essence surrounded me effortlessly, warm and soothing, as I sobbed. "I could not retrieve you." Nate's voice was soft, sweet, suddenly a lot like the haunting melody that would chime from a music box. His long slender fingers weaved through my hair, as though to calm me, and while my tears dried, a very dark thought awoke. "The vampire went to another Court, it was Fae magic that blocked you from me."

I pushed away from him, scrambling to my feet, unsurprised to find us in The Haze. Nate sat up, sitting cross legged, head tilted, watching me, as I shook my head, laughing. I knew what was happening here! I knew!

"You think I'm going to buy any of that?" I whispered, hugging myself, feeling so insignificant and tiny surrounded by the purple-turning-blue-turning-black swirling world around me. "Was it you, Nate? Was it you? Did you betray me? Did you betray me to Elijah? Why... oh my God, why else would I throw caution to the wind and bring Elena to the city? I know how the Fae feel about... about that other hybrid!"

"It was not our Court." Nate spoke in a soothing chime, his eyes bouncing between green and blue. "We were betrayed together, Fledgling. The High Council—"

"If you weren't dead, then where the hell were you, Nate?" I cut him off, powering through the way my throat seemed to be closing up as tears threatening to fall. I held them back. I was tired of crying. "You say that you didn't betray me, then why did everything happen like this? Why were you suddenly able to come for me?"

Gone was the boyish looking human that Nate paraded around as, in his place the strange looking Fae. "I have been looking for you. We have all been looking for you. Nonstop. Since you were stolen from us." Nate murmured softly in his melodious voice, his glowing eyes locked with mine as he easily rose. "You stepped outside of the bubble of Fae magic that cloaked you from me. I swear to you, our Court respects Fae law, and none of us would make a move on your... doppelganger—"

"Elena!" I shouted at him, furious. I was so sick of everyone being stuck on that one fucking fact, dehumanizing her, turning her into a fucking object! "Her name is Elena!"

"I don't care about the human, I won't pretend to!" Nate snapped back, real anger in his voice, and I took a surprised step backwards. "I respect the bond, and will protect her, because you love her and I only love you!"

Swallowing thickly, I pushed back another onset of tears that seemed to be permanently pooling at the edges of my eyes and offered a bitter, dry, laugh. "Love..." I whispered, my voice cracking. "You only love me because I can lie." Nate blurred as the tears fell, hot and betraying. I felt so defeated suddenly, so drained. "You don't know what love is. You made..." I drew in a shaky breath. "You made this Clarissa kill herself. What kind of soulless, heartless, monster does that? What do you know about love?"

SLAP!

Stunned, I stared up at Nate in a fit of astonishment, the sting exploding across my cheek seconds later. I slowly brought my fingers to my face, hardly believing that he had just slapped me! Nate flicked me on the nose, hard, and I gave a soft hiccup of protest, sniffling and swatting at his hand. He merely grinned back at me playfully.

"Don't hold me to silly human standards when you don't even hold yourself to them." Nate chastised pleasantly, his face swirling with beautiful rainbow flecks. "Your vampire kills you often and the only difference between us is that I completed you. I brought two halves of your soul together. You are still in there. You have your memories from being an Everett, but you do not have your emotions, your love for those from that life, just as you have your love for your friends and family here, but not those memories."

I didn't want to listen to a word of what he was saying in his sweet voice, I didn't want to admit that he had a point, I didn't want to think anything without knowing whether or not they were actually my thoughts. But then his fingers were on my face, every where his skin met mine lit up, a warmth pulsing through me, and I leaned into him, feeling starved for sunlight. I was still mad at him, but I also felt a desperate need for everything to be okay.

Nate shoved me into his chest, petting my hair, like I was a cat, and I groaned. I just wanted to go home now.

"Nate..." I whined, halfheartedly pushing against his chest with my hands, but he held me to him tightly.

"Theta." He said softly, as though correcting me, and I released a puff of air. I had no idea what he was saying to me. Nate rested his cheek on top of my head, continuing to stroke my hair. I was growing antsy. "Names are sacred to Fae, to know a being and know their name is to have power over them. My name is Theta."

I shifted so I could look at him, feeling small, feeling like a child again. Nate—Theta's?—lips curved upward into a tender smile on his strange face, his row of small, pointed, teeth gleaming, eyes glittering with glee. A part of me wondered if that was why Damon had such power over me, knowing that I was both Clarissas.

"I named you, you know, right after the vassal had you." Theta continued and I decided there was no bother in correcting him with Isobel's name. "I wasn't suppose to, but you're my Fledgling, and your name is a secret I've kept inside my heart. Our Court shares all, but you and I are each others, because you are a part of me." Ugh, I was not going to get teary eyed over this, especially since Nate... Theta sounded so childish and possessive. "You're my little Zeta and I love you always."

I stared up at Theta, feeling so out of place with myself. Zeta... The name sounded so foreign and strange as everything else did right now. I could never see myself being Zeta because I wanted to be Clarissa. All I had ever wanted was someone to understand me, all I had ever wanted was to be loved unconditionally by a parental figure. But as I gazed up at him and his playful eyes and let wave after wave of love and warmth wash over me through him... I just felt tired. I didn't want to be his Zeta, like right now I didn't want to be the doppelganger's sister, or Damon's birdhouse.

I just wanted to be Clarissa right now.

There was a dull anger that gnawed at my thoughts and twisted my stomach. But Nate, as I decided to continue to call him, didn't seem all that bothered by it. He grinned merrily, so suddenly his pretend human self it was like he had never been Fae to begin with. He winked and the smokey, dream like, world around us melted away.

We were standing on the side of a road. I staggered back from Nate, feeling disorientated, as I stared down what felt like an endless, empty, road, the sky following after it. I opened my mouth, about to ask him where in all the fucking hell we were, when light bouncing off metal caught my eye and I turned, staring, blankly, at a very familiar Chevrolet Tahoe.

"Clarissa." Damon's voice soaked through me, igniting a warmth that began in my stomach. I blinked rapidly, hardly believing my own eyes when he suddenly appeared before me like some kind of angel from in a dream, and the warmth slowly began to spread through the coldest parts of me.

His voice was breathless, tone drenched with utter devotion, and my heart stuttered in my chest as his blue eyes caught mine tenderly. He was so devastatingly beautiful and I greedily, feverishly, drank in every inch of him, taken aback by how absurdly beautiful he was with his fair skin, raven hair and glowing blue eyes. I had forgotten the pull he had, I had forgotten how easily a single look devoured me body and soul. It was physically painful, seeing him suddenly, and I never wanted to look anywhere else ever again.

"Damon?" The whole world moved under my feet, drawing me to him, and my fingers met his solid chest. He was here. Oh God, I wasn't dreaming! A grin flew across my face causing his blue eyes to light up. Oh God, Damon! Damon!

For a brief, wonderfully shining, moment, Damon was the sun bursting through the clouds on a dreary, bleak, gray day, erasing everything but happiness from me. I threw my arms around him, burying my face into the crook of his neck, nearly sobbing with slightly hysterical relief. I wanted to surround myself completely with him, I wanted to only know him, wanted the whole world to disappear forever so I can always delight in all that was him. I took in his scent, pressed my nose into his warm neck, loving the way his hair brushed against my skin.

Damon's arms were around me instantly, pulling me closely to him both gently and tightly, as though any space between us would be pure agony, and everything inside of me lit up with a sigh of complete happiness. It was like coming back to life, like I had been in a numbed daze. All at once, I was stupidly, madly, in love with him and there was nothing in this world, or any world for that matter, that could keep me from him. His familiar warmth hung around us like the glow of the sun that I had desperately needed.

He drew back, only slightly, his endlessly blue eyes roaming my face, as though searching for something, and his brow crinkled. He took my face into his warm hands and I released a happy sigh, my heart swirling at his touch, as I nuzzled into his palm. Each stroke of his thumb on my cheek sent a wave of dizzy glee through me and he dipped his head, pressing his forehead against mine.

"Never again," he vowed, despairingly. "I swear to you, I will never leave your side. Ever. Again. I won't. I won't. I won't."

His words sparked a sudden, unstoppable, fury that exploded waspishly through me and I jerked back from him, staring at him. Anguish broke across his face, blue eyes pleading, and it threw me into a rage. What the fuck. I clenched my hands into fists, feeling half crazy, and the next thing I knew my knuckles were bursting into flames with pain when my fist connected to his face.

"Son of a bitch!" I hissed angrily, trying to shake the pain out of my hand. Damon blinked, looking somewhat confused and slightly concerned—before guilt exploded across his face which just pissed me off so much more. "What the fuck Damon? That has to be the stupidest motherfucking shit you have ever fucking said to me, you stupid jackass!" I screamed at him angrily, moving out of reach when he went for my hand. I cradled it to my chest, refusing to allow him to examine it. "Jesus Hector Christ, I feel like I'm living a fucking chick flick!"

"I abandoned you..." he stated miserable, eyes filled with anguish, face guilty. "This is my fault, entirely all my fault. I should have never left you alone... And I never will. I can't. I refuse."

What the hell was he talking about?

"Abandon me? Abandon me? That wasn't abandoning me! That was you throwing a giant, stupid, tantrum because you're literally the second biggest fucking drama queen I have ever fucking met, the first being Elijah! I swear, it's a requirement for being a vampire!" I raged angrily, stomping my foot, flatly ignoring the way he stiffened at Elijah's name, a dark look flooding his expression. "You had nothing to do with what happened to me, so you can take your stupid self-loathing and need to feel guilty and responsible for everything terrible, and shove it right up your dead vampire ass! I don't think you know who you're talking to right now, but do I fucking look like someone who would need-no, someone who would ask you to never leave my side? What kind of messed up bullshit is that? I think I can handle myself just fine, thank you very much! You're allowed to fucking come and go and do your own shit and deal with shitty emotional vampire tendencies any which way you need to, except, you know, kill people I fucking give a shit about!"

I hated the guilt on his face, I hated the way he was staring at me helplessly, pleadingly, it just made me angrier.

"She has a point."

I snapped my head around, momentarily thrown as I found myself staring at Alaric, my heart actually skipping a beat. He was some feet away, standing casually by the Tahoe, and I tore my eyes away from him, back to Damon.

And then glanced at back at Alaric, fumbling with my thoughts.

Was he... Was he really there?

I tilted back Damon, pointing accusingly at Alaric. "What is he doing here...?" What was this? A party? I realized, suddenly, that there was only one vehicle. Did... Did they fucking travel together?

"You called me, remember?" Alaric said and I stared at him like he was frackin' nuts.

"I haven't stopped looking for you the moment I realized you were gone," Damon began passionately, staring at me imploringly, as though trying to will me to understand his desperate agony. But I couldn't focus on that, my eyes sliding away from him, looking around me as I tried to piece together what the hell I was doing on the side of the road and why they were together. "I would look for you forever..."

Oh my God. "Is this..." One vehicle, us on a random fucking road... "Is this a rescue party?" I wondered incredulously with a snort. "Bravo, you guys fucking suck at rescuing. But way to go, traveling to save me with the guy who attempted to kill both of you. That really makes so much sense. So much fucking sense." I didn't care if Damon looked wounded. I seriously didn't.

"Finding you was the only thing that mattered." Alaric said quietly and I was struck by how serious he sounded. I was just so... touched. Alaric really would've driven to the city just because I called... Because he wanted to?

Or because he felt guilty about Isobel? Because he felt like he needed to save someone? Was I just a substitute for his failure with his wife? Was he coming to save me to fulfill some hero complex? Was this seriously happening right now? Was I always going to be associated with belonging to someone else? A stepping stone for an in between? How dare he give me so hope that I was a fucking priority? He doesn't even want to be a part of my life, so what the hell was he doing here? This had nothing to do with me! None of this shit had anything to do with me! Not my kidnapping, not my failed rescue! It was all because of their own selfish reasons!

"You stupid bastard!" I burst out angrily, easily sliding past Damon, storming toward Alaric who had the decency to look a little frightened, throwing his hands out in front of him in a show of surrender as he stumbled backwards and into the Tahoe. "What the hell are you doing here? What is wrong with you?"

"We looked everywhere! You didn't give us much to go by, there's a lot of beaches! But we looked! And we weren't going to stop!" Alaric quickly assured me and I furiously smacked his arm with my hands, ignoring the flare of pain from my hand I had punched Damon with. "Ris—"

"I'm not Isobel! You don't get to fulfill your stupid need to save someone who doesn't need to be rescued through me! That is not fair to me, Alaric! It's not! You only want to be my history teacher, so fuck you!" I didn't care if I was screaming like a banshee, I didn't care if I was assaulting my teacher! I was just so angry, so hurt. "You do not get to play rescue! Do you even know what kind of twisted message that sends to me? Like you give a shit about me, but this has nothing to do with me! And I hope it burns that neither of you dipshits could actually fucking save me! Some poor gawky guy..." I gasped, suddenly remember Garth.

We forgot about Garth!

Garth who was probably left wondering what happened, Garth who might still be sitting there, maybe stuck! I whirled around, quickly glancing around for Nate, ignoring Alaric's heavy stare.

"Ris, listen," Alaric began as I spotted Nate who was laying on the road like he was sunbathing.

"We left Garth!" I blurted out and Nate perched himself up on his elbows, looking utterly bored. "Go back and make sure he's okay!"

Nate looked offended, rubbing his chest. "No, he shot me!" That little bitch!

"Who's Garth?" Damon wondered quietly behind me, sounding annoyed, and Nate, surprisingly, shot him a smirk.

"Saving Garth!" Nate sang, disappearing, and I didn't have time to contemplate that fucking strangeness.

I slid my gaze back to Alaric, staring at him critically, knowing that once I was done screaming my head off at him, I was going to want to know everything about his hunter lifestyle. "Garth sends his condolences about Isobel." I told him flatly, watching as surprise flashed across his face.

Damon released a frustrated growl and demanded: "Who the hell is Garth?" the very same time as Alaric said in a bewildered tone: "You met that Garth?" How many fucking Garths were there?

I decided to ask about it later as right now there was only one thing I needed to fucking address before I could pass the fuck out. I whirled back around to Damon who immediately turned his blue eyes back to me, his expression flickering between guilt and pinched uncertainty, his gaze seeking mine. It fueled my rage.

I opened my mouth, ready to chew him out, when Alaric caught my arm, pulling me back and I angrily turned around to face him. His serious eyes met mine.

"Ris, listen, I—"

"No!" I ripped my arm from him. "I don't want to talk to you right now! I'm pissed off and I have the right to be pissed off!"

"Back!" Nate sang happily, popping up right besides me, and I angrily kicked him in the shins. "Fledgling!" He cried, hurt, as he bounced away from me.

"You're selfish too! All of you have your own selfish reasons for being here right now! You love me and came after me and made sure Damon didn't turn me, not because you cared about me or how I feel or felt concern for my safety but because God forbid anything happen to your fledgling, God forbid I can no longer serve my purpose and lie!"

Nate rolled his eyes playfully at me, like this was all just one big hilarious game. "Awww! Why do you have to put it like that...? We haaaaad this talk, Fledgling," Nate cooed but I was tired of him manipulating my thoughts, my emotions, and angrily turned away from him.

"Selfish? You think—how can you even think, for one second, that this is selfish?" Damon captured my attention effortlessly, and, even in my rage, he could still make my heart beat a little bit faster. His blue eyes spilled across my face, imploring, urging. He swept my hands into his, bringing them to his chest. "I would spend all eternity searching for you if I had to! Not because I feel guilty, not because you make me happy, not because I want to play hero—or anything else that has to do with me, but because all I care about is your happiness!"

"Then why the hell would you kill Nate?" I demanded furiously, ripping my hands from his and slamming them against his chest, over and over, growing angrier as I barely managed to push him back. "How could you do that to me? How could you do that to me, Damon?"

"He's alive," Damon murmured in a soft voice, all blue eyes. "He didn't stay dead, Clarissa."

"So that makes it okay?" Was he fucking kidding me right now? "God, do you—how dare you! You didn't know that when you killed him! You were pissed off and taking it out on him! That's not okay! It's not!"

"I was Glamoured!" Damon snapped and I couldn't believe he was trying to defend himself.

"Don't!" I exploded. I felt sick. "Don't you fucking dare use that as an excuse! It wouldn't have mattered if you were Glamoured, Damon! You would've done it anyway, I know you! This is all on you!" He caught my wrists in one hand, keeping me from striking him, and I yanked at them, trying to break free. Exhaustion, anger and frustration broke down my last remaining wall and I gave up on trying to pull away, feeling defeated. "...What if that had been Jeremy standing there? Would you have killed Jeremy?" I demanded desperately, feeling so ruined by the thought.

"No!" Damon looked horrified at the idea. "Clarissa, God, no, I would never... Never..."

"You lying bastard." The tears were back with a vengeance. "At least take some fucking responsibility for who you are..."

"Fine," he snapped, releasing my wrists, and I stumbled, trying to right myself. I felt like crying, screaming, and begging all at once the moment his expression went blank and he blocked me out. "I killed Nate and I liked it and I'm not happy that he's still alive! This is who I am, and I'm not going to change! What happened to you saying you'd choose me over everyone, what happened to your acceptance, Clarissa?" He hissed my name and I felt like it was slicing through me, his eyes slits.

The whole world was spinning again and all I could see was the cruelty on his face when he had killed Nate. My body shook and I no longer cared if I was crying or not. "I love you so much Damon, and I will stand by you always, and happily support every stupid decision you make. And when I said, if I had to choose between you and them..." I swallowed, releasing a shaky breath. "I stand by what I said. But... But you said you loved me, so how could you do that to me? Are you going to put yourself first? And be driven by your anger, and your selfishness, and put how you feel over how I feel? Are you really going to hurt me just because you don't like someone?"

It cracked the expressionless mask he had worn just seconds ago, and he visibly deflated, guilt loud on his face again. I didn't want to fight about this now, we were only going to talk in circles. And I was tired. Of being angry. Of being ruined. Of crying. Of being awake. I was just so exhausted, the days and days I had been up and on constant edge was quickly dissolving, all the adrenaline from the rage falling flat. I ran my fingers over my burning eyes tiredly, my shoulders sagging as the last bit of the rage and agony fizzled and fell away, leaving me so exhausted I just wanted to end this conversation and get to the next one, I was just so done with everything.

"The three of you are the most selfish assholes ever," I stated tiredly, sleep curling around the edge of my voice. I dusted myself off, straightening, despite the awkward sluggishness that was starting to weigh down on me. "The three of you were all driven for selfish reasons to find me!" I didn't let either Alaric or Damon to cut me off, continuing on. "But you're also my assholes, and I'm allowed to be pissed off at all of you for as long as I want!"

"I'm sorry," Damon began in a quiet, pleading, tone, pained blue eyes back and seeking mine. "Clarissa, I... If I could go back, and change myself a little... to keep myself from being this... Monster, I'd..."

"Shut up, you melodramatic vampire, oh my God. I'm mad at you, stop acting like it's the end of the world!' I grumbled groggily, snatching his hand. I wasn't surprised when he kept quiet and let me lead him to Alaric's Tahoe. "But it's not my forgiveness you need, it's Nate's. You killed him. He has to forgive you."

Nate looked utterly delighted and Alaric burst out laughing.

"...What?" Damon demanded behind me but I pointedly ignored him, smacking Alaric on the chest, causing his laughter to sound a bit more wheezy.

"And you're now going to a part of my life, and Elena's, and Jeremy's. If you're going to continue to bounce between history teacher and awkward step-dad then you're stuck with us!" I told him causing him to stare at me in shock, his laughter immediately cutting short, while Damon sniggered darkly and mockingly behind me. "You don't have a choice, welcome to parenthood."

"I don't know how to—" Alaric began, sputtering, and I wasn't really sure what point of this he wasn't getting. There was no choice, anymore. I'd made up my mind.

"Look at all the fucks I'm currently not giving, Ricky." I stated pleasantly, gesturing to the space between us. "Look at them. Aren't they glorious?"

"Ris—Clarissa," Alaric stressed my name as I ripped open the door, climbing into the passenger seat. "I'm... I'm not a good role model, I don't..."

"Newsflash, nobody knows what they're doing." Like seriously, Alaric. Stop being such a little pansy about this. He came to save me, which meant I was allowed to revoke his claim of just being my history teacher. Alaric was staring at me uneasily as I made myself comfortable and I tilted my gaze to the extremely amused Nate, flat out ignoring Damon. "And you, daddy dearest," he didn't seriously think I was leaving him out, did he? "You need to find some humanity and start appreciating and understanding what it means to be human."

Nate looked absolutely puzzled.

"These are my terms and you jerks are going to follow them. I'm gonna sleep now, 'cause I was kidnapped and it was extremely traumatizing." I drove the guilt stake deeper into their chests, Damon and Alaric visibly cringing. "Wake me up when you get me fries. And a burger. And a milkshake."

"You're not eating in my—" Alaric began but I loudly shushed him.

"Milkshake. Fries. Burger." I repeated, closing my eyes. "And call that vampire hating council. I want to talk to them when we get back."


ALSO A HUGE MEGA BIG SHOUT OUT TO ASHLYNVARELA! She recently sent me REALLY ADORABLE bows! You guys should check out her instagram (ashlyns_bows_n_bands) or mine (teranbutt) to see the bows/buy bows from her! Seriously guys, she's flippin' amazing!

First, I just REALLY wanted to apologize for this taking so long. There's been a lot of changes, I've been extremely busy, and personal drama is suCH A FRIGGIN' PAIN IN THE BUTT. I know I neglected some ten PMs that I've received sinCE DECEMBER AND I AM EXTREMELY SORRY! I LOVE the fact that you guys talk to me and tell me about your lives and even send me supportive words, I AM SO SORRY I don't get back to you like I should! I NEVER mean to ignore your PMs, texts, emails, asks, skypes! I am EXTREMELY sorry! I've been so much more distracted than usual lately and I know that isn't any excuse! Again, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR EVERYTHING!

I know that last chapter I said we'd get back to a weekly schedule like before, but currently that isn't going to be possible. Ugh! I'm gonna try to get at least two chapters in a month! I am SO SORRY about how long this took.

BUT ALSO I RECENTLY DISCOVERED SNAPCHAT! AND THIS THING IS THE GREATEST! I LOVE IT. I know I'm only, like, snapchatting (is that what you say, omg i'm so behind on the times) with like three of you, but literally it's my favorite thing when you guys send me pictures. I usually cackle.

Boys are stupid.
I have no idea what the hell I'm doing.
I've gotten myself into a heap of trouble. Ugggggh.
So basically nothing has changed between my ex and I, except, you know, we don't live together anymore and he's "in love" with another (so much older lol) woman, even though it's been like a month? And yet he makes a point to see me at least a week, sometimes more. Like, guys, she doesn't even think he's funny or "gets" his sense of humor, and we're kinda friends with benefits. WHICH I'm trying to break, but oh my god, it's the best kind of sex. TOO MUCH INFORMATION? I'm sorry! Ugh. Shhh let me rant to you. Maybe one of you can tell me to shut the fuck up and get over it. I'm like trying to figure out if I should move on, or just wait for him to be done with having whatever this is. But then what if it lasts? And then, what if I WANT to be with someone who won't leave me 'cause another woman showed interest? We're still bff, so I don't EVEN.

Pretty sure I passed my test to become a nurses' aid!

HOW WAS EVERYONE'S FRIGGIN' NEW YEARS?
I'M SO PISSED I DIDN'T GET A CHAPTER OUT BEFORE THEN.
BECAUSE GUYS.
I WAS GONNA TELL YOU TO CELEBRATE TOM RIDDLE'S BIRTHDAY WITH ME!
I throw him a huge party for him every year, and make him a cake!
(I need help, I know.)

okay questions you haven't asked yet but I'll answer anyway.

Q: GARTH?
Yeah, Garth. From Supernatural. The phone call with Bobby is from Weekend at Bobby's. As much as I WANTED Clarissa to be able to save herself (and she will, later on), I realized Elijah never would have let it be that easy. Also, YOU GUYS GAVE ME A THOUSAND REVIEWS. So here's some Supernatural. Originally it was going to be Sam and Dean but I thought that would be too cheesy and I didn't want to shove such a big crossover down your throat.

Q: WHY ISN'T ELENA/JEREMY THERE LOOKING FOR CLARISSA?
I know at least three of you will bring this up, 'cause they'd TOTALLY be out trying to rescue their sister. To put it simply, as I'm never going to address it in the actual story, Stefan pulled a dick move and compelled them to stay home. Elena would never accept that it'd be too dangerous for her to go looking for Clarissa herself (as it might be a trap). But Clarissa being kidnapped is gonna have some later (and by later I mean really friggin soon) repercussions on the Gilberts that impact some key decisions. lol you guys might hate me for this.

now on to things you guys asked

Q: Vampire!Clarissa?
I've decided against Clarissa being a vampire. I KNOW SOME OF YOU REALLY REALLY WANTED HER TO BE ONE, but I dunno. I like keeping her half fae half human.

Q: Klaus?
He's coming! Very soon. Katherine and Elijah are going to arrive around the same time and I decided to just fuck the TVD plot all together and do everything entirely my way, so Klaus is going to make a very different entrance and his siblings are going to be undaggered much, much sooner. I don't know how to canon.

Q: Will Clarissa jump dimensions any time soon?
Oh, yes. Hopefully in the next chapter, actually. I have some fun things planned for her.

Q: Will Klaus try to steal Clarissa because she's a hybrid like him?
Klaus and Clarissa are going to have a very (AMUSING) complex relationship! Werewolves are the guardians (or something) of Fae on Earth, it's sort of in their written code to feel kinda protective of them/have a weakness to their Glamour. Which means Klaus is going to be (very very slightly and extremely angrily) affected by that. Clarissa's Court is going to stake a claim on Klaus, which means Clarissa is going to be somewhat influenced by Klaus' wants and demands, and will have difficulty denying him things (like Caroline.) Why am I doing this? Because I imagine they're going to be so angry about it, it'll make us all laugh.

Q: Clarissa shouldn't forgive Damon so easily!
I'm not sure how you guys are going to like how this is going to play out. It's going to be some tense times coming up next chapter, but this isn't going to last long. It's Darissa and Clarissa is a terrible person.

Q: Other fanfics?
I'm actually KINDA working on a Supernatural fanfic with a brand new OC! (And possibly co-writing a TVD fic!)
Anything I write for a different fandom WILL HAVE a different OC.
Fics I'm STRONGLY considering: Doctor Who and Harry Potter
If I get into Harry Potter the world will end. I'm in love with Tom Riddle and I will ruin his fucking life.

Q: Clarissa meeting Sherlock?
Let's do it. Really briefly. That would be so much fun.

Do not worry my little fluffs, Clarissa Angst won't last much longer. I'm trying to make this as realistic as possible. The fun times will be happening next chapter. God knows I can't keep anything friggin' serious.

Also laugh with me, Valentine's Day is coming and my ex is taking his new gf away for a romantic weekend. LAUGH WITH ME, BECAUSE IN TEH FIVE AND A HALF YEARS WE DATED WE NEVER DID THAT SHIT! One year, he was like "we could do something or I could buy an xbox" and I was like HELL YEAH BUY THE XBOX!
WHO THE FUCK IS THIS PERSON I DON'T EVEN KNOW.
I guess that's what he wants. To spend money on stupid things instead of getting the xbox one. I GUESS HE WANTS A TYPICAL GIRLFRIEND TO SPEND MONEY ON.
He's gonna be dropping like 500$ on her. Plus jewelry. What teh fuck, I've been doing girlfriend wrong for so long. Dating two months, SPEND ALL THE MONEY.

...I am so sorry I'm ranting at you guys.

Whatever, if he knocks her up, then we all have an excuse to go to Chuck E Cheese without getting arrested. And in the end, that's all that really matters.

OKAY ANYWAY. Now you know what kind of crazy crap I've been getting myself into. HOPE TO SEE YOU IN TWO WEEKS AND NOT ANOTHER MONTH CAUSE THAT CRAP IS CRAZY! I SERIOUSLY FRICKIN LOVE YOU GUYS!

I SWEAR NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE SO MUCH BETTER!

did I mention how much I FRIGGIN LOVE YOU GUYS?!