Chapter 29

The Hunger Games lasted a few weeks and just like I guessed that Cashmere girl won, they were too stupid to kill her off when they were given the opportunity which they had many of. Nick made it to the final four but, got his head smashed in with a mace by the boy from two. Kim made it to the final six but, Cashmere found her and strangled her to death. Now we are on our way back to District 4 and I have a strange feeling in my chest. I think it is just because I was responsible for two peoples life and now they are dead. Maybe Marina is correct, maybe this does bring my death toll to twenty four.

I feel a pat on my shoulder and bolt up. I almost push the train attendant to the ground.

"I'm sorry Mr. Watt I'm was just letting you know that we are in District 4 now." They say kindly.

"Oh, thank you." I say and head off the train. Unlike when I left the train station from being victorious almost no one is here but, there is someone here who I think was waiting just for me.

"Dylan!" I hear her exclaim as she walks over here.

"Car-" I can't even say her full name because the next thing I know she is kissing me. Her lips feel soft and nice against mine I wrap my arms around her and feel safe. I feel almost sane.

She breaks the kiss.

"-ter." I finish.

"Hi." She says and smiles.

"Hi." I say.

"Let's go, I want to talk with you." She smiles. "You're free now after all." She takes my hand and is leading me somewhere, I don't care where she is taking me I will follow Carter anywhere.

When Carter stops walking we are at a cove we would come here sometimes as kids to have 'secret conversations' with each other or to just leave the lower level.

Carter and I sit down and lace each others fingers with one another.

"So you're free." Carter says happily.

"Yes, I have been for a few weeks."

"I know but, you had to do that Hunger Games bullshit." She smiles.

"Oh yes that." I say.

"Were you okay? Emily told me that she wasn't sure how you were."

"I was okay." I say. I don't want to tell her about this deal I have with Snow and I don't think she needs to know. I don't even know if I'm allowed to tell anyone.

"What happened." She says and strokes my face.

"That victor I went with... isn't very nice. She kept purposely giving me panic attacks." I say sadly.

"That's not right." Carter says and I can see fire in her eyes.

"Don't do anything Carter, I think it will make it worse."

"I wasn't going to do anything, you can take care of yourself." She smiles

"You said you wanted to talk to me?" I said.

She nods.

"Yes." She says.

"Well, I'm listening." I tease.

"When you were in the mental hospital I realized something."

"And what would that be?" I ask confused.

She sighs and looks like she is having a hard time saying it.

"Carter what is it?" I ask slightly worried.

"I'm in love with you." She says and avoids my gaze. "I can't help it. I want you... only you. I... I know, I don't really have the right to say these things because I turned you down but, I just wanted you to know" She says.

"Carter." I say.

"What?" She says looking at our intertwined hands.

"I love you too and I have always wanted you... only you." I say.

She looks up at me and we kiss. It is very passionate, her hands are running through my hair and my hands are on the small of her back. We are probably as close as physically possible.

"Carter wait."

"I'm sorry got carried away." She says

"It's okay, it's just things are... different now." I say. She will probably think it is because my mind is messed up but, it is really because of Snow's deal. I just got back from being with random women, I don't want to be with Carter until those memories are not fresh in my mind.

"Okay, I don't care." She smiles and kisses my cheek. "We should go anyways, I know Emily wants to see you."

We leave the cove and head down to the lower level hand and hand while she rests her head against my shoulder.

I get to my house and walk through the door.

"Dylan oh, my god." Emily runs and hugs me.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"Are you okay?" She asks worried.

"I'm fine why do you ask?"

"That Hector person, your therapist, came by a few days ago saying you need to go to the hospital. Why would that be?"

"I don't..." I trail off. I'm not suppose to have anything to do with that place. Why would I have to go back there, maybe Snow was lying to me.

Carter looks at me worried also.

"They can't put you back in there... can they?" Carter asks.

"They can do whatever they want." I mumble "But, I'm sure it's nothing."

"Are you sure?" Emily asks.

"I hope so." I say. Or else President Snow's word isn't worth anything.

"Well, let's go then. I want to see what those fuc-

"You can not use language like that in this house Carter, our mother always wanted it like that and it is still like that." Emily tells her sternly.

She is right our mother never wanted us to use bad words in the house. She didn't care if we said it outside even right outside the door but, she didn't want it in the house because enough bad stuff already happened in there.

"I'm sorry." Carter says looking to the ground.

"It's fine." Emily says but,it sound like she doesn't mean it.

"Let's just go to the the hospital to get this over with." I say.

Emily, Carter, and myself all head back into town to go to the hospital. We are right in front of it and I can feel myself having an anxiety attack.

Emily rubs my shoulder.

"It's okay Dylan we aren't going to leave you."

"Yeah, those fuckers..." Carter says and looks at Emily who doesn't seem to care now. "Won't hurt you."

"Thank you." I say to both of them. Emily and Carter have very different ways reacting to things but, I like both of them just the way they are.

I breathe in and out and head into the hospital we go through the ER and then head toward the psychiatric ward. I can hear the screams coming from Hall D already. That is what Jacob and I called the hall where people are taken to the pink and green rooms. I was in here long enough to know that what he was telling me was true. Patients would disappear or have a strange look in their eyes when they attacked people, they looked like they had no soul. I don't know how they use that tracker jacker venom but, however they are using it is clearly working in their favor.

I head to the front desk and see Mabel filing paperwork.

"Well, hi Dylan." She smiles warmly Mabel was nice and kind in here she was almost like a mother in a strange way.

"Hi Mabel."

"What are you doing here?" She says surprised.

"Emily said that Hector came by and said I should go to the hospital."

"Oh." She says worried. "Let me pull up your file."

"She seems worried Dylan." Emily says.

"I'm sure it's fine." I say but, I'm starting to doubt the words of President Snow.

Mabel breathes a sigh of relief.

"It's fine Dylan you just have some drug prescriptions that need to be picked up. Apparently the hospital couldn't get a hold of you." She smiles and looks back at the screen and seems confused.

"What? What is it?" Carter asks.

"These were rush ordered straight from the Capitol. In all my years working here that has never happened." She says confused and eyes me.

"Well, maybe they saw that I needed help." I say.

"Maybe, but you need to see Hector still." She says.

"No." I say.

"When someone has a prescription drug they have to talk to Hector."

"Then let's just leave I'm not talking to that man." I say and turn to leave but, Emily grabs my hand.

"Does he have to be alone?" She asks.

"No, but it's family only. You'll have to wait out here Carter, I'm sorry." She smiles.

"Alright, I'll find a comfortable spot. I love you Dylan." She kisses me on the cheek and sits on one of the chairs.

Mabel takes us down to Ward A and places us in a room that looks like a doctors office and I sit in the patience chair.

"You scared, Dylan?" She asks.

"What do you think?" I ask.

"It's going to be okay." She smiles "Mabel said it was to pick up drugs that will help you but... why is it coming from the Capitol." She says nervously.

"I think-

Hector walks through the door and interrupts me. Just seeing him sends a shiver down my spine, he is one of the men I hate most.

"Hello Dylan. How are you today?"

"Fine." I spit back.

"You seem to be in a foul mood."

"That's because I'm here with you." I say with disgust.

"Dylan..." Emily says in a warning tone.

"No, it's fine Miss. Watt." He smiles at her. "Why do you think you are here Dylan?" He asks me.

"Mabel said it was to get medication, is that not true."

"No,that is true. It is a post office visit, I do it to all the patients to make sure there will be no problems with taking medication." He smiles.

"Why would you think there is a problem?" I ask

"Well, some people have problems because of the drugs they were given in here to help you." He says.

"Well, maybe you should easy up then." I mutter.

"It is only a far few but, I'm supposed to ask you. It is a standard protocol." He says.

"Fine just ask the questions." I smile.

"Have you had any withdrawal symptoms since you have left."

"Withdrawal symptoms ?" I ask confused.

"Tremors, headaches, short temper, lack of sleep."

Yes, yes, yes and yes. I think to myself but, I don't think it is because I have a drug addiction. I think it is because I killed those people.

"Nope, I'm fine."

He eyes me strangely.

"Usually I would ask more questions maybe keep you overnight... but, because this is a direct order from President Snow there is nothing I can do."

He takes out three pill bottles that all have papers with them

"Here, do not abuse them though Dylan, there are refill dates and you can't get it refilled before then. If you try you will lose the right to get these sedatives and might be put back in here but, this time for a drug addiction." He says angrily.

"I can assure you Hector that won' happen." I smile at him.

I won't be going back in here as long as I have something to say about it but, I hope he isn't right. He has been feeding me lies for a year but, the withdrawal symptoms he was talking about were true. Maybe I could ask Haymtich what it's like to be addicted to something, then maybe I will have my answer.