…hesitated.
His hesitation surprised him. He wanted to kill Odin - he hated Odin, and had every right to. Humans, Jotuns, and Asgardians alike - including Odin's own family - agreed that Odin deserved to die. But he couldn't do it.
He just…couldn't…do it.
For a moment, Loki thought that maybe Odin was using magic to stop him, so he closed his eyes and focused. He thought about how much he hated Odin, about all the pain he had been forced to endure, and everything else Odin had done. He cast around with his own magic, trying to block out any influences that might be staying his hand.
But still, his hand didn't move, because the resistance was inside him.
For several more minutes, Loki fought with himself. He felt everyone's eyes on him, and he knew that it would be better for everyone if he could just make himself do it. But no matter how he argued with himself, it was all to no avail.
At last, Loki opened his eyes, gave Odin one last wrathful glare…then sighed heavily, shook his head, and stepped back, lowering his weapon.
"I cannot," he said softly. He closed his eyes, turned his back to Odin, and cast his ice dagger aside, allowing it to shatter on the floor. "Someone else do it - I cannot," he said.
"Loki," Frigga said softly as he walked towards her, away from Odin. She put a hand on his arm comfortingly. He looked at her, showing with his eyes that he appreciated her touch, but said nothing.
"Silvertongue, you mustn't do this!" Enchessa exclaimed, her momentary shock wearing off. "After all he's done-!"
"I am not asking that he be spared!" Loki snapped at Enchessa. His face fell, and he sighed again. "I simply cannot end him myself." He looked at Yardaff. "Brother, next to me, you have the most right to do it…If the gates between the realms will remain open, it ought to be you."
Yardaff nodded.
"Loki."
Loki turned at the soft voice, and saw that Odin was looking at him, not with anger or hatred, but with total confusion.
"I don't understand," Odin said softly. "After all this, you wouldn't-?"
"I would, if I could," Loki told him. "There is very little that I want more…but I cannot. I know not why."
Odin shook his head slightly, apparently speechless. There was silence for a moment. Then, Yardaff spoke.
"Know this, Father of Nightmares," he said to Odin: "The blood for which you so despised my brother…is the very thing that stays his hand now."
Everyone turned to the Jotun prince.
"We are not a race of warriors," Yardaff said; "vengeance in blood is not our way, save for the most heinous of crimes…and no Jotun would raise a hand to his father, no matter how much he may deserve it. The bond of family cannot be broken - not even when it should. My brother has proven himself a true Jotun this day." He turned to Loki. "Our father would be proud," he said.
Loki bowed his head. "Thank you," he whispered.
Yardaff nodded.
"But…but it's Loki's Frost Giant blood that turned him against me to begin with!" Odin sputtered. "He…he was always going to turn on me, because he is a Jotun!"
Yardaff shook his head. "You do not understand us, Father of Nightmares," he stated. "We are not a violent or treacherous race. On the contrary, we value peace and unity very highly."
Loki looked back at Odin just in time to see something behind the ancient Asgardian's eyes break. Odin shook his head manically. "This cannot be," he said softly, more to himself than anyone in the audience. "I could not have been so mistaken…"
"When you hold more power than anyone around you, it can be easy…to become conceited," Enchessa said slowly.
Everyone turned to her. Her eyes were wide, as though she herself was surprised by the words coming out of her mouth.
"It can be easy to forget…that you do not know everything…and that…just because you believe something to be true, does not make it so," she went on. "My people…" She cleared her throat. "The people of Jotunheim…do not…take pleasure in battle…by nature. We…They…value unity and equality. Power can corrupt anyone…even those who, by nature, ought not to be…violent." She looked at Yardaff. He smiled and nodded at her.
"But I…" Odin began to protest, but his words died in his mouth. Everyone turned back to him, and watched as his eye turned to each of the faces before him.
"Could I really have been so wrong?" he asked softly after a minute.
"Uh, yeah," Darcy said. "That's what three different races have been trying to tell you this whole time."
"Oh, my…" Odin's face fell. He closed his eye painfully. "What have I done…?" he whispered remorsefully. He quickly looked up at Loki. "Loki…" he breathed. "Oh, Loki, I'm so sorry…"
"It's too late for that," Yardaff began, taking a step forward, but Loki held up a hand to stop him.
"One moment, brother," he said to the Jotun prince. He turned to Odin. "Now that I think on it, there is one last thing I would ask…One last question that has troubled me for some time now."
No one said anything. Loki walked back down the steps to his former position in front of Odin.
"Odin," he said.
"Yes?" Odin whispered.
"When I first realized what I was, I was shocked," Loki said. "After the shock wore off, I became angry. As I began to understand the true cause of all my suffering, I began to shout at you…and as I shouted, you collapsed into the Odin Sleep. Tell me: Why did that happen?"
Odin blinked.
"Was the stress simply too much for you to bear?" Loki asked. "Did your strength simply fail you? Or did you succumb willingly, so that you would not have to face my accusations, nor answer for what you had done to me?"
"I…"
"Take care with how you answer me," Loki said coldly.
There was silence for a minute as Odin thought; everyone watching didn't hardly dare to breathe. At last, Odin sighed.
"That day…everything went wrong," he said. "It was to be my day of triumph, when all I had worked for would at last be brought to fruition. I had delayed my rest because I was so close…and then, everything went wrong. Thor was unworthy of the throne, and had been so reckless I had to banish him for what he'd done; Laufey had declared an end to the truce that I had hoped would hold until I could ensure a more permanent peace through you…and then, you discovered your origins in the worst way possible - through your own cleverness and observation, rather than my telling you. As I said, I always feared how you would react when I told you the truth…and when you began to shout at me, I believed my worst fears had come true." He sighed again. "It was…the worst thing that could have happened. Everything had gone so utterly wrong…and I…I could no longer bear it. I couldn't bring myself to continue to face what my world had become."
Loki said nothing.
"Loki…I abandoned you, at the very time when you needed me the most, and I am truly sorry for that," Odin told Loki, "but I was not fleeing you. It was with relief that I succumbed to the ailment of my age, but not because I could not bear to face you alone. It was neither cowardice nor lack of strength that brought me down that day; rather, it was my hope that failed me. I fell to despair, believing that there was simply no point in continuing to try to accomplish anything. I thought I had lost everything, and had nothing left to lose by giving in." His eye glistened with a tear. "I was wrong, though," he whispered. "I had not lost everything then…Now is the time when I have lost everything."
Loki looked at Odin for a long moment, reading everything there was to see in the ancient Asgardian warrior's lone eye. He recognized the pain he had felt the night he had shouted to the skies of Earth - the belief that everything was gone. He remembered what he had prayed for: that Odin would one day know what it was to have everything brutally stripped from him, just as he had done to Loki. His prayer had come true. But, as he thought about it, he realized something else…
"No," Loki finally said tonelessly; "not everything."
Then, Loki raised his hand, ice sprayed in all directions, and Odin crumpled to the floor.
