A/N: I love you guys, seriously I do. Thanks so much for the reviews and faves and alerts. You do a little lady and her heart good.
PLEASE READ: Just to let you all know, we are in the process of getting ready to move. You all know how time consuming that can be. So I wanted to give you a heads up because updates may not be as timely for the next little while. I hope you can forgive. Love you all!
Krismom, is my beta, my cheerleader, and just about as awesome as they come. Thanks to her for helping make my words readable.
Disclaimer: Don't own them, Charlaine Harris does.
Previously...
And this, right now, this moment curled up with him in his bed with the morning sun peeking through the windows, would make it all worth while. To feel him and touch him and love him now with my body, even if the words weren't said allowed, would make the pain more bearable. Because I'd have the memory. I'd have it in there forever. In that special place he owned that only I knew about.
All of me. He owned all of me.
But as long as I had these moments to fall back on, I'd survive.
I just hoped I didn't have to.
EPOV
I was in a particularly good mood. It was a wonderful day. The sun was bright and the sky was clear, it was even a few degrees warmer outside. Spring was just around the corner.
Of course my sunny outlook on the day could have been affected by the wonderful way in which I was woken up, but I wasn't even thinking about that. It could have been just the simple fact that I had my girl sitting beside me, her tiny hand wrapped in mine, and there was something just glowing about her.
She was exceptionally radiant. Her smile was bright, her hair looked like the sun, and there was a little sparkle in her eye that just made me catch my breath. I felt like something right out of a Hallmark card. It was a sublime and wonderful feeling.
My girl.
Sookie was my girl.
Mine.
No matter how much I thought it, or said it, the fact still made me smile. And I was beginning to think that she had a little bit of an idea as to how I truly felt about her. Even if I hadn't said how I felt while she was conscious, she knew it, somewhere inside, I knew she did.
Though, if she was anything like me, she was still filled with that annoying doubt. And that was probably the only cloud on an otherwise flawless day.
I wasn't too much looking forward to our therapy session, but it wasn't going to harsh my mellow. Not one little bit. Besides, we were almost done. And then we could get back to just being us. Just being a regular couple. In love. I hoped. I really hoped Sookie felt the same. And dammit, I was bringing in more clouds.
I gave Sookie's hand a squeeze, and without looking over, she smiled and leaned her head against my shoulder. I just about purred. So gone. I was so gone.
The doctor came out a few minutes later, greeted us and waved us on in. Damn, I'd be so glad when I didn't have to sit on that outrageously uncomfortable couch again.
Sookie sat right beside me, hip to hip, and I put an arm around her. None of this went unnoticed by the ever observant doctor, but he smiled, so I smiled. It was all good. Or so I thought.
"I'm taking it that you two have taken the next step in your relationship?"
"Pardon?" Sookie asked before I could. I knew that tone, and smirked. Go get him, kitty.
"You've consummated your relationship?" I didn't think the doctor was really asking. He knew, inexplicably. He was just waiting for us to confirm it.
"And how in the hell do you know that?" Rawr! My kitty has claws.
"Relax, Sookie, I didn't mean anything by it. It was simply an observation."
"You can't tell that by looking at someone. It's not possible." Sookie was very defensive. Very.
"As I said, it was only an observation. You two have always been very close and comfortable with each other. But it's on a new level this week. Your touch isn't as hesitant. You're sitting closer. You're bodies are angled towards each other. It's simply an observation of your change in demeanor. You two look glued to each other."
We were, or had been until we had to come here. I didn't say it aloud, but I sure thought about it. I definitely wanted to be glued to her again.
"Oh," Sookie said as she relaxed back into my arm. "I didn't mean to snap at you, sorry."
"It's quite alright. But it makes me wonder why that observation would upset you so much."
"I just don't feel comfortable with everybody knowing all our business, is all. Some things are meant to be private. Some things shouldn't be said, or even asked for that matter."
"I understand, and I apologize for crossing that boundary and making you uncomfortable. Let's start again, shall we?"
"I can do that." Sookie smiled at the doctor and nudged me with her elbow. I'd been silent. I didn't know what that was about, but I gave her a wink over my shoulder.
"I'd like to talk more about your notebooks this week, and I'd really like you to share with each other what you've written down. Sookie, would you like to go first?"
"Ummm, I don't know. I've written in it, but not... I don't think I used it how you instructed. It's just thoughts and feelings. Not really what you told us to do."
I gave Sookie a look from the corner of my eye. She was blushing. The doll. I rubbed her shoulder a little, and pulled her closer. I really, really wanted to know what was in her notebook. And I was hoping the doctor would press her. Just a little.
"There's no wrong or right thing to write. Please, share with us. I'm sure Eric is just as curious?" He raised an eyebrow at my nod. "You're not on spotlight. Eric will have his chance." Sookie kept tapping nervously at her notebook. "Go on, nothing leaves the room," he pushed.
As much as I wanted Sookie to share, I had to admit, I was pretty unsure about having to share myself. There was some really sissy sounding stuff written in mine. Not to mention some really X-rated stuff. I was going to have to censor mine.
"Okay, okay." She sounded almost scared. I was definitely intrigued now. She spent a few seconds flipping through, stopping on one page, flipping over one, and then going back. She sighed and shook her head.
"It's okay, Sookie. I promise not to let anything you've written bother me in any way. Promise. Whatever it is, I'm sure I want to hear it." It was true, good, bad, or, ugly, I wanted to know everything she thought.
She took a deep breath, and I held my breath as she read. "Eric is much more passionate than I expected, more than I've ever imagined. The cuddling, kissing, everything, is just more." I had a feeling she was editing by the way her voice cracked and she blushed. But I was okay with that. "He takes my breath away. In a good way, a very good way. I wish that we had given us a try sooner."
Sookie stopped to bite on her lip and peek through her lashes at me. I wanted to kiss her, but didn't think it was appropriate given the company. So I settled for kissing her temple instead.
"Good. That's good. Do you have anything else? Anything that scares you? Anything else you want to share but might fear Eric's reaction to?"
I was insanely curious about that as well. I hoped she didn't fear me in any way, but I knew Sookie would worry over spilled milk. There was definitely some worries written down in that book of hers. I knew there was in mine.
"Ummm," she paused to flip a few pages, but quickly closed the book and looked at me. "I'm just scared of messing up. I...god, I don't know where I've went wrong before, and it scares me to think that this could end, and I'd never understand why. I don't think I could handle it. Because regardless of what we may say or think, the thing is, everything would change. We wouldn't be able to just go back to being friends. We would be changed. I guess I'm scared that I have no clue what the hell I'm doing."
Doctor and circumstances forgotten, I did kiss her then. And I kissed her breathless, slipping my tongue in for just the briefest of touches. I don't know if it scared me or satisfied me more that our fears were the same. I did know one thing for sure, I wasn't going to let her get away from me. Fears or not.
"I'm scared of the same things Sookie. Maybe not exactly like you, but I know I care far too much for you to let any little insecurities come between us. As far as I'm concerned, those pricks you dated before were fools. Fools! But they only paved the way until I was in a state of mind to actually do right by you. I'm not going anywhere, and I'll be damned if I let you go anywhere either."
I had a feeling I'd said far more than I wanted, but yet, not near enough. Those blasted words were half choking me to death. But again, I feared saying them, feared they'd scare her half as much as they did me. I couldn't risk her running for the hills.
But trying to convince myself that there would ever be a perfect time or place for me to tell her how I felt, was becoming increasingly more difficult. Until I was certain that she felt the same way, I'd just have to swallow my feelings and focus on making sure she felt safe and secure.
Who the hell was I kidding? I was even more of a scaredy cat than she was.
"This is great," the doctor interrupted. I'd almost forgotten he was even there. "See what good can come of expressing your fears. Good job, Sookie." She smiled, but looked like she was biting her tongue. "Eric, I do believe it's your turn to share. As promised to Sookie."
I cleared my throat and flipped through even though I had most of what I'd written down memorized. I was looking for something that could help her understand how much she meant to me. Didn't think however, the passage that said 'Sookie gives one hell of a blow job,' was quite what I was looking for.
I read, "Sookie is the perfect lover, and not just in the bed. She's everything a guy could possibly want. Sweet, and saucy," I winked. "But more than that, I think my favorite is that she's can be equally as comfortable in old ratty sweats after cleaning house all day as she is all dolled up in a dress and heels. She's who she is either way. I really like that."
Sookie snorted. "I can't decide if that's a good thing or a bad thing."
"Most definitely a good thing," I said with a chuckle. I was just thrilled that nervous look was gone and replaced with a smile.
"Yeah, uh-huh. Well, nobody looks good in sweats after cleaning house."
"You may not think so, but I happen to think you're beautiful all the time." Especially in the mornings. That was my favorite look. Naked or not.
"Do you see what I'm talking about?" she asked the doctor. "He's a dangerous, dangerous man," she added with a chuckle.
"I think you two are very well suited," the good ole doc said with a smirk. "I also think that as long as you two keep the lines of communication open, you will have nothing to worry about."
I don't know about Sookie, but I actually felt relieved after that session. Knowing her worries and fears were the same as mine helped me to realize that we would, no matter what, be able to make it through together. And the doctor was right, I understood his point. As long as we talked about it, then we'd know when things started to become uncomfortable or weird.
I was still scared to death of the things I was feeling, but if my instincts were right, then Sookie's feelings very closely matched my own. I had a pretty good feeling one of us would be confessing that before too long. Secretly, I hoped it would be her that said those words first. Words that had never held so much meaning until her. Hell, they'd never carried any meaning for anyone but her.
We walked out of the office hand in hand, and I felt a thousand pounds lighter. She smiled and I returned it, heading down the sidewalk toward the car.
I should have known that things were too good to be true. Someone just had to throw a boulder into our otherwise calm and perfect day. And that person was walking towards me looking every bit like the bitch I knew her to be.
"Eric," she called, and I stiffened when Sookie looked up.
"Pam," I sneered. She was about to cause a stir, niceties were not on my to-do list when it came to her. With her and I, it had always been about one thing. We never did try to pretend it was anything more.
"Oh, hun, don't be that way." I knew that look. "Who's your little friend?" She didn't give me a chance to respond, because as soon as the words were out of her mouth, she had kissed me full on the mouth.
Sookie gasped. "What the fuck?"
A/N: Uh- oh, looks like the tables have turned. Let's see what Eric thinks about jealous Sookie. We've only got one more therapy session people. A few more chapters, but only the one session left.
Be sure to check out the new writer contest I am co-hosting with some of the fab gals in the SVM fandom, we're welcoming TB entries as well. You can find it here, or in my profile there's also a link. Http: / www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/u/2507718/A_New_Chapter_Contest There are several promo fics up for your reading pleasure. Please do give them a read!
Also check out the I write the songs contest. You can find the deets here. www (dot) i-writethesongs (dot) blogspot (dot) com.
Check out the entries to the Kiss A Cook Contest. It's anonymous, but I may have written one of them. Please take the time to read and review the entries here http: / www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/ u/ 2434344/ KissACookContest Voting should begin soon on the top 5.
I know that I have been sending teasers with my review replies, but I am so behind that I'm not going to be able to do that. I hope that after we get moved and settled I can start doing those again. I really hope that this doesn't discourage you from reviewing.
MUAWWWW!
