Author's Note #1: Now, this is a long eventful chapter. I feel sometimes a lengthy chapter loses people's attention. I am sorry if you are one of those people, but please pay attention and continue to read. I really hope you love this chapter.
"The moments of happiness we enjoy take us by surprise. It's not that we seize them, they seize us."
Chapter Twenty Nine –Status Quo –
(31 weeks 3 days)
In the highest spirits, Ness stepped outdoors. The air was crisp and the early morning skies were clear. Entrusting Claire to drive her car, she climbed into the passenger seat bundled in a patchwork quilt. The sage and tan fabric was pieced together and backed with patterned fleece. The blanket was never intended for the teenager, but it was a gift for her unborn child. She couldn't help herself, it had healing powers. Since she's had it her health had been better. At least that's what she told herself.
With a fixed gaze, Ness watched the dawn sky turn blue. About an hour and a half into their three hour journey, the teen began to feel increasingly uncomfortable. She was glad she had Claire drive since she was having the general aches and pains that come with pregnancy. A similar sensation of menstrual cramps progressively got worse and it radiated in her back.
Sooner or later, the discomfort subsided as Claire continued to pry about the status quo with Jacob. She mind as well should have poked and prodded her with a fire poker, it would have the same effect on Ness. It angered her and each question was as painful as the next. Big brother Jacob doesn't want to be with me for me, she thought, he wants me because the baby, because I'm his brand of antidepressant medication. As Ness thought these comments over, she wondered if she could accept them. What does he see in me? She contemplated. Jacob always loved me but Kai...Kai gives him a real reason to love me.
After shooting down each relationship question, the majority of the drive Ness listened as Claire shamelessly speak about sex, and how in love she was with Quil. Then she manipulated the conversation into speaking about Jacob. With the girl's lack of response, you would think Claire could take a hint. Nessie's nerves were wearing thin and she realized the drive to Seattle was taking much longer than she had hoped.
Don't get things wrong, Ness loves Claire, and her forwardness but sometimes, she needed to shut up and mind her own business. Eventually, Ness gave in and made the mistake to tell her about the kiss they had a few months ago. That was when Claire exploded with excitement nearly swerving off the road.
That was the final straw. Claire was a distracted driver, and all Ness could think about was the safety of Kai. She at least wanted to meet her child. In hopes to do that, she suggested they take a much needed rest stop. After they took bathroom breaks and picked up a sugary doughnut for breakfast, a tired Ness took over driving duty. Luckily, Claire crashed and gave her time to think in silence.
The only thing she could think of, as usual, was Jacob. He was such a wonderful person- empathetic and easygoing. He was patient with her, attentive, respectful and he treated her as such on the night she lost her virginity. She really wanted to experience that again, and it could only be with him. For some reason no one else would do.
On top of how wonderful he was to her that night and in general, he was in love with her. The feelings he held for her were not mutual. It did not make sense in her head for he was perfect. She just couldn't bring herself to believe she was in love with him. What she felt for him had not yet changed. It was still that same warm feeling in the pit of her stomach, that static shock when he touched her skin and her inability to not smile at his face. In Nessie's opinion, that's how feelings with a best friend should feel.
With thoughts of Jake, the baby kicked. And for the first time, she was fine with being pregnant. Sure, this was not how she planned to have her first child, but at last she accepted things as they were. Also, with Jacob and his support, she actually was beginning to look forward to being a mother.
Claire and Renesmee met their friends at the game. Quil and Claire were attached at the lips while Seth and Brady actually paid attention to the game. For Ness, she seemed to tune out all the things around her. The cheers and sounds appeared dull. And when her back aches and cramps weren't bothering her, her entire focus was on Jacob.
Football was a sport the girl could never understand. The one thing she knew about the game, was that Jacob enjoyed playing and he looked damn good in his uniform. Even during high school games, he was the reason she could sit through a two hour game. The way his form fitting uniform emphasized the built up muscles on his legs made her drool. She tried very hard to watch his calves, hamstrings, and glute muscles work in unison with his bones as his legs carried him closer towards the end zone. Her eyes went back and forth between the huge screen and the field. It was easier to see Jacob on the screen.
Despite being in Husky territory, Oregon state fans cheered and hollered. Even in enemy territory she saw Jacob's name written across excited girl's sweatshirts, men wearing hats with his number and jerseys with his last name across the back. Perhaps, there was a hint of jealousy as she saw college girls swoon as the announcer spoke Jacob's name. Looking up to the mega screen they zoomed in on him after he scored a touchdown. When she saw him tap his helmet with his forefinger, she forgot all about those stupid college girls.
Ness overheard Brady asked Seth, "Why does he do that?"
"I dunno?" he replied, "He's done it since Junior year."
Being in on that secret, Ness giggled. He said that whenever he did that, it meant he was thinking about her.
Ultimately his team lost.
(*)Following the game the group met at a local restaurant to eat a late lunch, Leah included. Embry, more obnoxious then usual gloated and playfully hazed Jake about his team winning. Jake sat back allowing the guys to continue badgering. He brushed the lint of annoyance off his shoulder and put all focus on Renesmee. And although Leah's presence was torturous, Jake's behavior made her feel valuable. His arm was slung behind her back, and every now and then he'd lean in and whisper into her ear. Usually, it was to make fun of Emrby's odd behavior but either way Ness liked the attention the young man was giving her.
Then she had to question Jake's motives when she noticed Leah's pensive glare. Her intent brown orbs were judgemental, shifting between Renesmee and Jacob. It was unpleasant and then she wondered if Leah still had feelings for the father of her child. Or was Jacob flaunting Ness infront of Leah? He wasn't ignoring her and not speaking to her the same way he chatted with everyone else around the table. It made Ness crazy.
Feeling a bit possessive, Ness set her and Jacob's connection on display. When the baby moved, she made sure everyone knew by telling"daddy" to feel his child kicking "mommy" from the inside.
From that point Leah no longer stared down Ness, but she joined in with Embry, teasing Jacob about his losing. They laughed and were completey at ease with one another until Embry slung his arm behind Leah. Ness knew nothing about their sudden tension until Jacob pointed it out. It was weird that he was so observant of their behavior, when all she could so was focus on him, and Leah's harsh eye.
When Leah and Embry's tension died down, Ness found it the opportune moment to ask why she had such a problem with her. Perhaps it was a bit bit childish, but Ness wanted to interogate Leah. She waited for the cue. Shifting around Leah seemed nervous, and desperate to say something. The moment he eyes darted to Jacob, Ness snapped. She did not know where the sudden courage came from but she spoke directly to Leah. The one whole had Jacob's virginity, the judgmental girl that never gave her the time of day. Dear aunt Leah, who had not make an effort to be friendly after her mother married Nessie's grandfather. she still didn't even consider Ness her niece, by marrage. And she never understood why she Regardless of this and his team's loss, she had never been more proud of him. He carried that team and even Embry knew his potential.
Unannounced to Ness, Jake had the boys take Claire home and he surprised her with a visit to a Seattle baby boutique. In spite of everything being so expensive, she happily pranced around the store looking at all the baby gear. Jacob was glad to actually see her contented for once. If he did not know better, he would assume she was excited for the baby. Seeing her behave this way, was much better than seeing her so morbid over the entire pregnancy.
"Do you want a boy or a girl?" Jake wondered poking through a rack of tiny blue t-shirts.
She shrugged. "I don't know, maybe a boy. A mini you running around would be nice," she said with an uncontrollable smile. Truly, she loved the idea of a baby boy that had his dark hair, his vibrant eyes, the tip of his nose and an unnaturally white smile. A baby identical to Jacob would be a perfect child.
"What about you?" she wondered, "What do you want?"
"A healthy baby."
"Aw, your answer is better than mine," she declared reaching for his hand.
Jacob was dumbstruck, as well as excited when she laced their fingers together. The thrill was as fresh as a thirteen year old boy holding a girls hand for the first time. The contact made the father to be's heart nearly burst. Holding hands was not a typical act between these teens. Sure, they've held hands once before. Usually, it was a cupped clasp and only when they were at a crowded party, or when they'd force one another to a particular direction. The gesture revealed that Ness was ,somewhat, acknowledging the chemistry she and Jake had. Her true feelings were still unknown to her.
As they strolled through the aisles looking at strollers as well as cribs, she tightened her fingers around his knuckles and held tight to his arm. He chuckled and as he leaned down to kiss her cheek, he paused waiting for her to pull away.
Anticipating the kiss to her cheekbone, she interrogated him on his delay. "What?"
He was astonished, she didn't even flinch as he went to kiss her. It had been a very long time since she had not recoiled at his touch.
"Nothing," he retorted laying a quick kiss to her eyebrow. It was comforting and loving, but for Renesmee it wasn't enough anymore. She was actually disappointed in him. He didn't even try to kiss her on the cheek or on the lips.
They continued walking around the store, Nessie's mood altered from glee to a dejected joy. Noticing her melancholy attitude, Jake decided he would not give into the awkwardness. He initiated a conversation. "I know we choose green and brown but why don't you like blue, or pink?"
She snapped, "Because it's generic. I don't like being cliché."
Sending a tight squeeze to her hand and a nudge to her shoulder, he probed her. "You like to do things differently than everyone else huh?"
She nodded. The little gesture he gave, pulled her away from her temperamental attitude.
"Being unique suits you."
They halted to look one another in the eyes. She tried to keep a straight face, but she cracked a smile. To fight it she bit the tip of her tongue between her teeth. That was a fail and her smile radiated as she bite the tip of her tongue and scrunched up her nose. That smile paralyzed eyes lit up like twinkling stars. And for a second he was lost in them. It made him fall more deeply in love with her. His gaze turned somber and his thumb stroked the flesh on her index finger.
The intimation of that action, wiped the smirk of Renesmee's face. Suddenly, she was very aware of his lips and he of hers, but she turned away. With her fingers gliding across the rails of a simple white crib, she countered, "Are you calling me weird?"
"No," he defended himself, "I'm saying you don't blend. You're not average." His tone softened as his free hand pushed her wavy hair behind her ear, "Incomparable. You don't like to be traditional. You stand out in everything you do and you do what you want, wear what you want, act how you want. You know? Stuff like that."
Apparently, he didn't realize she was trying to tease him because his speech was completely genuine. Averting her eyes and bowing her head, he responded to him. "Don't get me wrong, I like being traditional too. I would have liked to have been married and graduated from college before I had kids but," she paused and cocked a brow looking down at her ever expanding belly, "things don't always go according to plan. I turned out like my parents, sort of."
Her hand slipped from his and she clung to the railing of the same white crib. Again, her mood went into a downcast. She could not help it when she thought of her father. Her stare was fixed at the bedding but she was lost in her thoughts. "He hasn't even said sorry," she muttered. It was painful whisper.
Jacob didn't even have to ask, he knew who she was speaking about. The best he could do was wrap his arm around her shoulder and let her pour out her feelings.
She continued, "That check he gave us was some sort of buyout. Like I'm going to forgive him just because he gave me money. It's fuckin' bullshit. I think I should give it back."
"Ness, we could use that money. I sorta counted on it for the crib. And Kai could still use tons of things."
"Taking it is seriously like saying I've forgivin him. And I don't forgive him Jacob. He was so mean to you."
"It's not about me."
She whined, " He hasn't even tried to say he was sorry for anything."
"Don't dwell on it."
"I can't help it," she grumbled fastening her arms around her midsection, " I haven't spoken a word to him since Christmas."
Draping his arms around her shoulders, he brought a hand up to pet her head. "I'm sorry baby."
Ignoring all passerby's, they hugged one another for some time in the middle of the store. Jake settled his cheek at her crown focusing on her plump belly pressing into his body. Lying her head to his chest, her view was on the white crib that was straight out of yesteryear. It was a timeless piece. The vertical rungs were carved and the price was reasonable.
"I think I like this one," she declared, "It's only two hundred and twenty."
Jacob stepped back looking at the piece of furniture. "Isn't white kinda girly?"
With pink paisley bedding, she slightly agreed. "I like it though and it's on sale."
"What if we have a boy?" he questioned. From that comment alone, ness knew that he wanted a boy.
"He'll live."
She picked up the price tag and turned it over to read the information on the back. "Would you like it if it came in…espresso? That's a dark brown."
"Yeah, I would like it better if it came in another color."
"Well it does."
"Well," he mocked, "let's get it."
Later, after stuffing the box that held the crib in the back seat of the Volvo, along with bedding and a rug, the couple headed back home. Jacob was baffled at Ness, who sat in the passenger seat penning her Economics homework on a lined piece of paper. Only God knows how she did it and it still be eligible.
The sound of Jacob singing, "That'll be the da-Ay that I die," caught Nessie's attention. When she looked over to see Jacob bobbed his head to the song. She couldn't recall a time, she saw him so innocent. He caught her staring and he continued to channel Buddy Holly, "You know you love me, baby. Still you tell me maybe..."
Ness laughed out loud and Jake showed his winning smile. She asked, "Do you really like to listen to Oldies?"
His bright smile faded. "Yeah," he said with a faint smirk, "It reminds me of my mom."
Closing her book and laying it across her lap, she put her entire heart into the conversation. "Why?"
His grip tightened around the steering wheel and he inhaled a deep breath. Ness saw how he tried to hide his emotions but she encouraged him to talk about this. She pointed at the radio. "Did your mom used to listen to this?"
"Saturday's were cleaning day. My sister's did whatever chores mom told 'em to do and I cleaned my room then helped my dad outback. The radio was blaring throughout the house. And it was always oldies. She'd crack the windows too, so my dad and I could hear it in the garage."
Jake gnawed at his bottom lip his eyes were glued to the road. "Did you want me to change the station?"
She shook her head. "No."
Sucking in a breath, she dismissed the pain in her side and took a look at the scenery out the car windows. None of the surroundings appeared familiar. Then the sign welcoming them to Port Townsend caught her eye.
"Jake where are we going?"
"Home."
"The sign says we're in Port Townsend."
"SO?"
"You're lost."
"I'm not lost."
Renesmee did not know what came over her, but she was furious. Port Townsend was the wrong direction of Forks. She was right, Jacob was lost.
"I was fucking doing my homework, you got yourself lost," she huffed and crossed her arms. As she pouted, she glanced over to see if he was offended by her comment, but she could see the tip of lip curved up. He was trying not to laugh.
"What!" she shouted. He bit his lip and shook his head.
"When are going to turn around?"
"I'm not lost Ness."
"Yes you are. Do you know where Port Townsend is? It's North of Seattle. It's were your prom was."
"Was it?"
She pointed out the window, pointing at the Tulalip Resort and Casino. "Your prom was there! Damn it Jacob I'm hungry and tired and it's just going to take longer to get home."
He pulled into the parking lot and said, "I'm just messing with you, calm down. I heard the food here is good. Let's eat here."
All the animosity was wiped clean of Nessie's slate. "I'll eat anywhere, I'm starving."
Reluctantly Ness followed him into the smoky casino. The lights on the slot machines flashed and the dings of people winning rang in the teen's ears. Part of Ness wanted to stay and gamble. She was now eighteen and though winning some extra money might be nice but there was too much cigarette smoke in the air. Taking her hand, Jake guided her to a smoke free restaurant called, Cedar's Café. Wanting to be alone, Jake requested to sit in the area that had less people.
They sat at a table in a private area. The place was of contemporary modern décor. A curved wall of horsetail plants separated them from the buffet next door and a faux starry ceiling was overhead.
Ness lightened up and she loved that it felt like she was on vacation- away from all her responsibilities, although one responsibility grew inside her. It was something she found hard to ignore. Not only because the baby was physically inside her, but throughout the day her back ached worse than she's ever felt in her entire life. It was like something had a tight grip on her sides. She knew it was because of the pregnancy and the pain made her lose her appetite.
The two ordered and ate quietly conversing of Kai. No birth plan was mapped out, and Ness was regretting not taking Lamaze class. Jacob asked her not to stress over anything tonight. Then she wanted to know how things would work out with Jacob being in Oregon. He gave the news that Washington State accepted him, and was to transfer in the summer.
While she thought over the exciting news, Jacob went to pay the bill. When he came back, he led her to an elevator. They went up to the forth floor and Jacob lead her to room number four-zero-six.
"Tired?" he asked sliding the card key through the slot.
"You're joking?"
He smiled stepping through the hotel room door. "No, when I paid for the food, I checked us in."
Automatically, Nessie's stupid legs lead her into the hotel room. A wave of emotion hit when she saw the room; the same exact room, the same beds, the same carpet, lamps, bedding and pillows. Flashbacks of prom night, got her thinking. Did he want to have sex tonight? Her heart thudded and she felt her legs tremble. The heaviness settled in her chest and her feet anchored her down to the spot she stood. She was nervous about what he had planned.
"I-I don't have any pajamas or clothes, " she breathed.
"You'll survive a night without pajamas."
"Could you do me a favor," She questioned not giving him a chance to answer, "and get my book bag form the car."
"What for?"
"I have some homework I need to finish," she said placing her hand upon the desk chair. "I could do it here."
"Sure, I have some extra clothes in my bag," he informed and without hesitation he obeyed.
The second he left the room, she paced around the room, anxious. She wasn't prepared to have sex with him, especially with a huge pregnant belly and her side cramps coming back. Again she disregarded what he body was trying to tell her and worried about Jacob's return.
The door opened and in walked Jacob with a backpack. Setting it on the floor by the desk, he questioned, "Are you really going to do your homework?"
She shrugged, "If I want to graduate."
Jake did not reply, her answer was good enough. With the baby coming in a couple months, she would need to get as much school work done as possible because come February they'd have no time for anything.
Jake laid on the same exact mattress that Ness offered her virginity to him on. Seduced would be the right word. That night she actually seduced the then high school senior. She wanted it, he pondered. Why did he seem so desirable to her that night, and not after? It made no sense to him. If he could take that night back, he might have brought a condom. But there was no use in delaying the inevitable. He would have eventually had a baby with her anyways. Whether it be now or five years from now, he knew she would be the mother of his children.
With his back pressed against pillows and head resting on the headboard he watched television, but could not pay attention to what was happening. He observed Renesmee, for the past few hours she had worked on her homework and he was becoming irritated. Mostly because he could tell how much frustration she had with whatever it was she was working on. She erased whatever she wrote as if it were written in permanent marker. She sighed and huffed and tugged at her silky hair all night. Soon enough she quieted down and he could rest easy again knowing she was content.
He hated seeing her nervous. Which is why he left her alone when she chose to do homework instead of spend time with him. Yes, he recognized her panic when he made the comment about her living without pajamas for a night. The instant those words left his mouth, he regretted it. It gave Ness the wrong impression. His intentions were pure. He merely wanted to spend the evening with her, maybe watch a movie and cuddle. If that lead to them making out, or by the glory of God making love, so be it. However, he didn't have high hopes for either.
Time was all he wanted and maybe they could talk about life. They could reminisce about the night they conceived their child and how much has change in such a short period of time. So far everything had gone according to plan. They picked out a crib and Ness miraculously opened up about her feelings and at dinner she asked for his help. She wanted to know if he could help her with her cellphone bill. Of course he offered to help, he wanted to take care of her. He'll always help her when she needed it.
"Do you need help?" he asked, seeing that she had become frustrated again with the work she was doing.
Resting her chin in her palm, she looked back at him. "Yeah. I can't solve this problem."
"Let's see," he said, lifting himself from the bed.
Coming to her side, he put his arm across her back and laid his hand on her shoulder. Ness didn't give the touch a second thought, she only informed him, "I keep getting the wrong answer. C is the constant isn't it?"
"Go through the steps slower and use the formulas."
He began to massage her neck and kneed her shoulders as she took another attempt at the problem. To think about it, it was strange. Though, it did not faze Ness and Jacob.
When she finished up the summation equation, Jake applauded her effort. "That's right!" he exclaimed.
"Ugh! I hate math. It's such a waste of time," she grumbled, "It was easier when I had a teacher."
"You have me," he said ruffling her hair.
She swatted his hand away. "Why are you so good at math?"
"Because unlike you, I'm smart," he teased.
+Later on that Evening+
Waking to the sound of an infomercial, Jake stretched. With his eyelids sealed together he kicked off his jeans and removed his shirt. He attempted to fall back asleep but the volume on the television seemed like a dull roar. His hand patted around the mattress searching for the remote control. When he couldn't find it, he sat up and spotted Ness asleep at the desk. Her cheek laid across the page of her textbook and her right hand held a mechanical pencil. Scurrying to get off the bed, his foot knocked the remote on the floor. He collected the changer and clicked the television off.
Tiredly shuffling to Nessie's side, he called her, "Ness?"
Yawning, Jake covered his mouth while simultaneously caressing the back of her neck with his fingertips. "Nessie?"
Groggily, the girls head rose from her school book.
Jacob bent down to see her eye to eye."Why don't you go take a shower?"
She whimpered sleepily and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. "I'm gonna finish my homework first."
"Hey," he stated taking the pencil from her hand, then gently setting it between the pages of her Calculus book. She looked up to the boy that towered over her. He continued, " you've worked on it all night. Go take a shower and come to bed."
Ness gave in. She was tired and caught up on homework. Actually, she was four weeks ahead on her work. If she kept the hard work up, she could graduate in a few weeks. She only continued to do her homework that night because she didn't think she was mentally prepared to have sex with Jacob that night. Things were so different from months ago.
Things were most definitely different. Maybe even her feelings towards him even. She loved him, her admiration for him was at an all time high and her sexual desire was through the roof. She's never wanted him this bad, but it couldn't mean she was in love with him. Could it?
So as much as wanted to deny it, she could see that she might have developed a crush on him. Most people developed crushes on their best friends and Ness was sure it would fade soon enough.
After her shower, she slipped her underwear back on. It was all she had and she was not about to run around with no underwear on. With concern she questioned whether or not Jacob would make a move on her. Gazing upon herself in a mirror, she felt the heaviness of her breasts. They weren't much bigger, but fully. Thankfully they were still perky and staying in place, where they should be. Stepping sideways to see her body's silhouette she realized she was not ashamed of her belly-not as she once was. God makes no mistakes, she reassured. Only, she was petrified that he wouldn't find her body attractive.
She couldn't have sex with him tonight, she couldn't let him see her naked and pregnant. It would be much too awkward. But she knew she'd have sex with him again, only she did not want to be pregnant. Subconsciously, she made a plan to be prepared for that next time, which included working out, waxing, shaving and maybe tanning.
Taking a robe from the bathroom cabinet she swathed her body in the luxurious fabric and waddled back into the room.
Twisting open a water bottle from the minibar and taking a gulp, she heard Jacob say, "There's an extra t-shirt in my bag."
Glancing around the hotel, she could not spot the bag. "Where's your bag?"
" It's in the corner," he informed pointing to the corner of the room. Shuffling to the corner of the room, Ness sat at the arm chair and leaned over to pull up the bag. Rummaging through the duffle she found the extra large navy tee. Paying no mind to Jacob, she stood with her back facing him. The cotton negligee was stripped from her body revealing her milky back partly covered by her cinnamon hair. Lace trimmed underwear exposed most of her bare bottom and the dim room's shadows accented the dimples that graced her back. She wasn't as toned as she once was, but at the sight, Jacob's insides still trembled with attraction.
As she slide the shirt overhead, Jake saw as she sniffed it, and smirked. It smelt of Jacob- fresh rain and pine.
He too smirked, since he caught a peek of her side boob. It had been so long since he'd see that piece of flesh. If he had his way, he'd violate her in the most pleasurable way.
Throwing his head back on the pillow, he collected his thoughts. When she's ready, she'll initiate it.
Twirling around, she looked upon an exhausted Jacob. A fractional piece of her hoped he'd be admiring her, but he only wanted to sleep apparently.
In Jacob's disappointment, she sat on the other bed, then fell backwards. The boy assumed she had chosen where she would spend the night.
Rolling over Jacob sighed. Things between them would never evolve, would they? Tucking a pillow beneath his head and settling into a comfortable position, Jake aloofly said, "Good night Ness."
His tone, caught her attention. Rolling her head over onto her damn hair, she examined him.
Lying on his side, his back was to her. He coiled himself in a man's version of the fetal position and gazed out the tiny sliver between the window treatments.
Unsettled and lost at his indifference, she responded, "Night?"
From the other bed, she stared at him. By now, her hair had dried. Through the curtains, she could tell the moon had risen higher into the night sky. The blankets had not been pulled over her body and she had yet to collect a pillow to place it beneath her head. Jake's monotone voice saying goodnight echoed in her mind. The way he said it deeply bothered her. Was he mad? Ness searched for the answer. She replayed the entire day out in her head, hunting for one thing she might have done wrong. Only, she could not find the mistake she made. It was a flawless day.
Regardless of his team losing against Embry's, Jake was cheerful. Seriously, not one argument, or even the slightest bickering, besides when she thought he was lost. She held her tongue when he shelled out the "x" amount of money for this hotel and he kept his mouth shut when it came to her doing her homework. That was the low points of the day but still, they agreed on a crib, and the place to eat. Ness genuinely thought the day had gone by without a hitch.
Not liking how his goodnight settled in her stomach, Ness called to him. "Jake?"
No answer. Sitting up, she looked over to the clock on the wall. The shadowy light made it difficult for her to read the time. She heaved herself up and from to bed to see the time. Blinking her eyes in disbelief she saw it was nearly three thiry in the morning. Did I really stare at him for the past few hours? she asked herself in disbelief. Who does that?
Overlooking the lost time, Renesmee waddled her way towards Jacob. She wanted them to say goodnight to one another and mean it. She sat at his side. The mattress sank below her. She grunted feeling fatter than ever.
The sight of his body glowing in the moonlight, gave Nessie's soul a wrenching reaction. The view of his god-like body thrilled her just as much as it left her baffled. How was he able to have such a perfect body? Without even a feeble thought, she touched him. Her fingers grazed over the rigid knolls of his back. His skin was smooth, warm, tan. Ness withdrew her hand when she realized what she was doing. Mindlessly touching someone was creepy. Was it not creepy? She smiled. Perhaps, it's a little creepy, but it was only Jacob. Reaching again for his back, Ness let her hand skim his shoulder blades then slowly, she dragged her palm down his back. Lightly her fingers touched the dimples on his lower back. Her fingers dipped the curve of his back, following the trail of his spine. Coming to his neck, she did not stop, her hand crept up the back of his head, and combed through his thick hair. In hopes to wake him, she lightly kneaded at his scalp. He did not wake. Not even the slightest budge or shift.
Detaching her hand from his hair, she felt unfulfilled. Ness could not even begin to explain what feelings were buried deep inside her chest. If only she chose to dig, she'd find truth. She'd see these strange sensations were so much more than platonic or lustful.
Either way, she wanted him awake, she wanted him to know she came to be by his side, to sleep and dream with him. Recalling the past, Ness saw that this feeling was not new. She always had wanted him to wrap his arms around her as they drifted off to sleep. It wasn't for protection or even comfort, she just wanted to feel how much he cared for her. He had
If only she could kiss him and wish him goodnight.
"Jake," she said nudging at his shoulder.
"Hmm?" he responded rolling over.
"Uhm," she paused. What was she to say? "Oh hey I woke you up to tell you goodnight." How conflicting and stupid was that?
She lied, " Uh the baby's kicking."
Jake's slowly rolled over, his hand darting to her stomach. "I don't feel anything,"
"Oh?" she muttered, laying down beside him.
He pulled his hand from the belly and shut his eyes. He prayed she would make some move, that she would thaw out the ice she built up around her. Or was he to do that?
When she rolled over on her side, facing the opposite direction of Jake, he had the last straw. Fed up with her distance, he asked her, "Why are you distancing yourself from me?"
"I'm not," she mumbled. Luckily, the baby did start to kick and it was an excuse for Jacob to touch her. "Gimme your hand."
She reached back and grabbed his hand placing his palm just under her navel. Beneath his hand was the drumming of the kids movement, and Jake just couldn't believe he and Ness created this being growing inside her. "Scoot closer to me Jake."
He did, but kept his distance.
"Closer," she ordered. She wanted to feel his heat, to have his body actually pressed up against hers.
Submissive to her orders, the front of his body molded to her back, his hand never leaving the baby.
He kissed her neck and whispered into her ear, "Remember when you wouldn't even let me touch you?"
"I was uncomfortable, but really, I don't mind."
She rested in his arms, in the most comfortable and warm embrace. An embrace she's experienced before. The feeling when everything is fine in the world and utterly perfect because you're wrapped in your best friend's arms.
"It's feels like it used to be," she said.
"I think it's better than it used to be."
"Yeah," she agreed letting her eyelids tiredly shut "How did you remember it was this room?"
"How could I forget?"
Slowly, time ticked by. Each began to doze off until Jacob begged, "Ness, look at me."
She peeked over her shoulder, but Jake willed her to roll over and look at him face to face.
"I love you."
She pulled her head back to catch a good look at his expression.
Lifting her chin, she stretched until her lips reached his own. All she intended was a chaste kiss, but she couldn't help her horomones. Softly, she sucked on his lower lip then nibbled as he did the same to her top lip. Then their tongues met, their life and soul passing through one another as they exchanged breaths. This wasn't urgent or lust driven, they simply made out.
With their tongues dancing, she draped her left leg over his body then cut the kiss short. She laid one last chaste kiss to his chin, his neck. AS she nuzzled her face into his chest, she placed one final moist kiss on his collar bone then said, " I love you too Jake. Night."
"Good night."
Whatever came over Ness, Jacob prayed it haunted her for a lifetime. Maybe it was this hotel room. If it was he would live out the rest of his life here. He'd remember the night he made love to her, the night they created a life together. And he would remember this night. It was the first kiss they had that she initiated since the last time they were in this hotel room.
That night, he held her as tightly as he could. Her leg remained wrapped around him and her arms bound around his neck. It was slightly awkward with her bulging belly but, that was okay with him. His hand glided up and down the side of the bare thigh laying across his body. Each time he to choose to let his hand journey further up until he finally reached her butt, then the small of her back, then the bare skin beneath her shirt. Truly, she did not mind his touching. It was comfortable and soothing as he rubbed circles into her back. And he, he was glad he fell asleep with this women in his arms and their child safely in a flesh cocoon between them.
Author's Note: I HAD TO SPLIT THIS CHAPTER IN TWO. It was my intention to have a long chapter, then I realized "holy cow! this is waaaay to long." SO this means you have more time to VOTE on the gender if you haven't already. My sincerest apologies for the delay and the fact that it kinda sucked towards the end. SORRY. I feel extremely guilty for taking so long to update. I really have no excuses, except when I get home from work I crash. After a nap I wake and begin to write, only to fall asleep with a laptop on my lap. Again I am sorry, also I really hope I haven't lost your interest. (WHAT I CAN DO IS PROMIE FUTURE LEMONS. Sound good?)
Now, if you can't tell Ness is so conflicted with her feelings now, unlike before where she was so sure she was not in love with him. He even subconsciously made a plan to have sex with Jacob after the baby is born. Also, the part where Jake taps his helmet, I wish I wrote that in earlier instead of it showing up out of nowhere.
THANKS TO: cortneyluvsherownedward, sweet and sassy Nessie, brownEyesInControl, ALEXandriaMarieee, Taaay, Meghaja, dkgors, Dazzler916, VaMplrEoBsEsSed280, nfanpepsi, hartleygirl, denica, Saephillips, Tashay789- by the way what's up with Fatal Attraction?, TwilightSy, klarsen117, laffysing, JUSTaDAMNbook, mojojojo152, cocopucks, Dreamcatcher94, luv2beloved, Missinvisible557, lena0123, nessiehugsm gmb7064, Effiecient Vixen, sassymama1973, readobbsessed, .M, theavidreader4life, Alison0279, spacewalken, MionWriter007, changeiswhatiam, gh0stwriter, evil-hazel-18, DelSan13, addcleric and csfla . I thank all ya'll for your support and love. As well as you anon's-
Respond to ANON'S:
(Jazzyj)- She's always going to imagine Jake when she sees their child, whether it be a boy or girl. (roxy)- My summer' been boring. I've been working and I don't have Saturdays off so, I don't get to do much. But that's alright I guess. I hope your summer is going well. With the last chapter, I just randomly added it, but it's in chronological order and I sort of wanted to ditch the drama for a chapter, and what a better way to do that than to show them cheerful in the holiday season. Also, it revealed a bit of Nessie's maturity. And everyone wants a boy and Jake will be proud of his kid boy or girl. (Sarah)- Jake isn't perfect but when you love someone you tend to bend over backwards for them. (allibrenny)- She will eventually, but it's gonna take her time to accept him. (bookworm)- Oh romance! It may be in the future… (Breanna Lyn)- THANKS for reading and being addicted. LOVE YOU!
