This is the penultimate chapter of this story so its an extra long one! Please leave your comments!
Chapter Twenty Nine
Max woke up just after six, surprised to find that he had fallen asleep on Quinn's sofa and not stirred all night. He sat upright and pushed his glasses on as he got to his feet to check on his friend.
He was shocked to see Quinn still tucked up in bed, clearly also sleeping soundly. He grinned as he stepped back out of the room, glad to see that his friend was at least getting some much needed rest. He made himself a coffee and pulled out his phone, to type a quick text to Saul making sure he wouldn't expect either of them any time soon. He wasn't surprised when he got a reply almost straight away. He wandered into the kitchen and checked the cupboards- seeking some breakfast and not manging to find anything edible- what the hell did Quinn actually eat?
"Why are you going through my cupboards?" a sleepy voice queried behind him, and he whirled around to see a very dishevelled Quinn stood behind him.
"Looking for food Quinn" he replied simply, not acknowledging how much the other man had made him jump.
"There isn't any" the taller man stated simply before turning around and heading towards a much needed shower. Max shook his head as he watched him walk away- he had been expecting a cutting remark about him still being there, and was surprised that none had come. He turned around as the subject of his thoughts reappeared behind him a few moments later- washed and dressed, looking pale but far better than the previous evening.
"Come on- you spent the night here least I can do is buy you breakfast" Quinn stated, not waiting for an answer as he headed out the door and Max followed wordlessly behind. The two men walked side by side to the diner on the corner of the street and sat in booth- Quinn had his back to the wall and his eyes looking towards the door.
They ordered their food and sat drinking coffee in silence, Max took in the appearance of his friend, and was relieved at how much better he truly looked. He watched as the food arrived and waited for Quinn to pick up his cutlery before he did the same.
"Seriously Max- you don't have to watch me eat" he stated with a smile. He picked up a bit of toast and chewed on it. He realised what a good friend he had in the man in front of him- he just wasn't capable of expressing it out loud.
"Sorry" Max muttered as he speared a piece of egg on his fork and to his mouth. "So, did you pass?" he finally asked as he chewed. He focussed on the other man's face as he stopped chewing his food and reached for his coffee before answering.
"I am seeing Dar this afternoon" he finally replied.
"It looked tough Quinn" Max commented.
"Well it isn't supposed to a walk in the park is it?" Quinn stated with a wry smile,
"No I guess not- but you were exhausted Quinn- really exhausted, so how can you go to Syria like that?" Max challenged him carefully.
"I'm fine Max- honestly I am always fine" Quinn told him, attempting to reassure him. He reached for his toast and continued eating- Max was grateful for that small mercy. If his friend had managed to pass the gruelling assessment he knew that he would never in a million years convince him to not deploy, all he could do was be there for him and make sure he looked after himself so he was as recovered as he could possibly be. Max turned his attention back to his own food- it was rare for him to have breakfast out so he was going to make the most of it.
The two men ate well, before heading into the office, each looking much better.
"Thanks Max" Quinn stated softly as they headed through security.
"Any time" Max muttered, glad that he had at least been a help to his friend. The two made their way to their Ops centre and took their usual seats. Quinn sighed as he realised he had an hour before he would discover his fate. He flipped open the laptop and set to work.
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Carrie was getting annoyed now- she was not renowned for her patience or her tolerance when it came to being left out of the loop- and when it was Quinn involved it was even more frustrating for the agent. She had not heard a peep from him- or about him for that matter and it was driving her insane not knowing what was happening. She had text Max- who had also not replied to her, and Saul told her he didn't know whether it was a pass or fail. She flung her bag onto her desk and turned her computer on. She had her own case work to do, if she could concentrate long enough of course.
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Max looked up as Quinn got to his feet- it was time to find out and Max felt his stomach roll at the thought.
"Good luck" he stated, and Quinn nodded in response. He moved slowly through the building, the last remnants of the previous days' exhaustion still making themselves known despite his long sleep. He found himself outside Dar's office in no time and knocked lightly on the door. He stepped through the door, and found himself uncharacteristically nervous as he sat down opposite the man he had worked for his entire life. He was surprised as he was handed a donut and a coffee as Dar continued his lifelong mission of fattening Peter up.
"So?" Peter asked, needing to know what was happening.
"How do you think it went?" Dar asked cryptically.
"Dar- just cut the crap and tell me if I passed or not" Quinn demanded softly,
"You passed Peter- by a hair's breadth but you passed" Dar told him, and he wasn't sure if he was happy about it or not. "The doctor did say that you should return gradually so don't be packing your sniper kit just yet" he warned him as he sat back. Quinn grinned, a rare appearance for the younger man and he rubbed his hands over his face relived beyond measure that he was still good for something.
"Thank god" he muttered.
"Now you are sure this is what you actually want?" Dar asked him- the older man was no fool and he was well aware of the wobbles that Quinn had previously had- it was his morality that he struggled with- black ops walked a fine line and sometimes he lost sight of the ultimate aim. He was still the best operative he had ever known.
"It's the only thing I ever want Dar" Quinn replied simply finally taking a sip from his coffee.
"Well I am not foolish enough to think that you are mission ready Peter" Dar warned him, and raised his hand before Quinn could interrupt. "But we do have an intelligence gathering mission- two man job linked to the main target" he added, and Quinn sat forward suddenly interested.
"Where?" he asked.
"Damascus. We need more planning to get the full team in" Dar stated, knowing hat Quinn's interest was piqued.
"When do we leave?" he asked with a fire in his eyes that Dar hadn't seen for some time.
"Friday" he replied with a grin, knowing that his boy was the right one for the job. Quinn nodded, he had a week- a whole week to tie everything up and be ready to go.
"Who's the second man?" he asked after a few minutes.
"Your choice- any one from your team" Dar stated, being fairly certain who the other man would choose.
"Fine- and until then?"
"Plan the mission- get fitter, tie up loose ends- same as every mission" Dar instructed. "Briefing here 1500hrs Wednesday" he finished. Quinn nodded, getting to his feet and heading out- Dar attempting to not notice the limp as he did so.
Quinn waited until he got down the corridor before he leaned against the wall and exhaled, his shoulder drooping as all of the pressure and stress of the last several months finally starting to lift from him. He could finally go back to being who he was- and get the job done.
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Carrie looked up as a shadow was cast across her desk- surprised to see Quinn stood in front of her- despite how cross with him she was a smile escaped her. He sat down on the chair beside her desk, and she noticed how very tired he looked.
"Hey you" she greeted him warmly.
"Hey" he responded with a smile. "Sorry I didn't reply to your texts- I kinda crashed" he told her honestly.
"It's ok Quinn- but are you going to put me out of my misery now? Did you pass?" she asked, and held her breath as she awaited the answer.
"I passed" he told her- knowing she would have very mixed feelings about that reply. She sighed, really not sure how to respond. "Hey its ok- I don't expect you to be doing cartwheels Carrie" he told her gently. "You fancy a couple of drinks tonight to celebrate- commiserate whichever way you want to look at it?"
"Let me text Maggie- but sure it sounds good. Have you told Max yet?" she responded as she leaned back.
"No- somehow I think telling him will be harder than telling you" he replied with a grin.
"Do you have a mission?" she asked, almost dreading the answer. He nodded, not trusting himself to speak. "When do you go?" she asked, wondering if the planned drinks were a goodbye.
"Not for another week" he told her as he squeezed her hand gently. She nodded, trying not to cry as she thought of him going overseas again.
"Where?" she asked.
"Carrie you know I can't say" he told her gently. "Listen- I'll pick you up at seven, let me know if Maggie can't watch Frannie" he told her getting to his feet and heading away. The minute he left Saul appeared beside her.
"He passed then?" he stated and she nodded. He sighed as he sat down. "He's survived this long Carrie" he told her.
"Was that supposed to be a consolation?" she asked him with a roll of her eyes. "I know what he does for a living Saul- I know that he thinks its all that he can do- but I don't want him running headlong into another warzone and getting killed for no reason" she stated, fully aware that she was ranting.
"But to him there is a reason- he is serving the agency, serving the country and protecting people that he feels need him to" Saul stated. "He thinks his perceived darkness means he is duty bound to protect others from it- you can't change who he is Carrie" Saul warns gently. She sighed and after absorbing his words nodded.
"When did you get to know him so well anyway?" she queried.
"I make sure I know all my friends Carrie" was all he said as he got to his feet and walked away- he had said very few words- but they spoke absolute volumes to Carrie.
"Thanks Saul" she whispered, suddenly overwhelmed with emotion for both of her friends. She sighed and got out her phone to tap out a text to her sister, already fairly certain that she would agree to watch Frannie for her in the circumstances. Her sister replied immediately agreeing, and she smiled as she text Quinn to confirm their drinks.
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Max knew the outcome the minute he saw Quinn step back into the Ops room. He looked calmer than he had seen him for weeks, Max sighed and rested his head in his hands- he suddenly had an overwhelming sense of doom as he realised that this was the beginning of something new- or a return to something old, he was sure, but he knew with absolute certainty that Quinn was going to be returning to a war zone and soon. He just hoped that wherever he was going Max would be able to help him.
"Congratulations" he commented drily and Quinn grinned.
"Thanks Max" the special ops agent responded genuinely.
"When do you go to Damascus?" Max asked, correctly guessing exactly what deployment awaited his friend.
"You are stuck with me for another week Max- next Friday is the planned start" he told him, completely unsurprised that Max had guessed where he was headed given that the two men had been working on that exact location as part of their intelligence gathering during Quinn's recovery.
"Who is going with you?" Max asked, giving his friend his full attention.
"One other" Quinn stated. "In fact that reminds me- I need to go and meet someone, I'll see you tomorrow Max" Quinn stated getting to his feet and pulling on his jacket. Max noticed the side arm ever present in the holster at his friend's waist and shuddered slightly at the return to normality that was upon them. They had come so close to losing the quiet man that it had made him realise how much he meant to them all- if only Quinn would also realise how much they cared.
"You want me to come with you?' he offered.
"Na I'm good Max but thanks" he replied with a small smile. He didn't understand why these people seemed so concerned about him. They actually seemed to care and it seemed very strange- alien to him in fact. They checked up on him and caught him when he fell, he had never had that before. He hesitated before stepping out of the office.
"Don't worry Max- I really am fine" he told him, his eyes locked on those of his friend and his voice sincere. Max nodded, accepting the sentiment whether he believed it or not. "But thanks for caring" Quinn added softly, looking away and stepping away.
Max shook his head as he left- he hadn't had the best upbringing himself, but he had always been safe and always had Virgil to look out for him. He didn't understand how somebody could be so incapable of believing that they deserved love and care, especially someone as selfless and brave as Peter Quinn. He felt a wave of sadness as he thought of the young man alone in the world with no one to care if he lived or died- but those times were gone- he just needed to make sure that Quinn knew that.
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"So you're back huh?" Rob stated with a smile as he raised his bottle of beer to his colleague.
"Yep- well and truly" Quinn replied with a grin and an answering gesture. Rob already knew the strict guidelines for Quinn's return to active duty- Dar had fully briefed him on the limitations he had placed on him to make sure he didn't rush back too quickly.
"Pleased to hear it man" Rob commented, and he genuinely was, he had come to rely on the taller man over the years and didn't like the thought of any mission without him by his side.
"You and me both" Quinn stated honestly. He would never verbalise exactly how much had ridden on him being able to return to active duty, but he knew that Rob did understand without him needing to.
"So Damascus hey? Heard its lovely this time of year" Rob stated with a smile, his voice low to avoid being overhead.
"You fancy finding out?" Quinn asked, slugging his beer as he spoke. Rob grinned as he nodded.
"Thought you'd never ask" he replied, gesturing to the barman for another two beers. Quinn smiled, him and Rob were a good team. They worked differently to each other, but they balanced each other out. Rob was the team leader- yet Quinn was treated as the senior operative, his planning and surveillance skills invaluable to the agency over the years. Neither man cared who was senior to who- they worked as a pair, senior agents in a team of highly trained men, and they were damn good at it.
The two men sat and drank- chatting about sport and women and other things unrelated to war and killing- two guys on a Friday afternoon just chilling out, and for once Quinn felt relaxed and at ease as everything began to slot into place.
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Quinn was bang on time as usual as he rang the bell at Maggie's house. Carrie opened the door- dressed down in jeans and a sheer top.
"Hey" she greeted him, casting her inhibitions aside and reaching up on tip toes ti gently kiss him on the lips. He responded immediately, and placed his hand on her cheek.
"Hey" he replied with a grin.
"Did you start without me?" she asked with a smile as she smelt the beer on his breath.
"Me and Rob went for a couple" he told her with a shrug and she grinned, guessing that Rob was going to be part of Quinn's imminent mission and feeling slightly relieved that he wouldn't be alone but in fact with a good man that would take good care of him.
"Good- now where are we going?"
"I just thought Henry's? Grab ourselves a booth and just have a few drinks" he suggested and she nodded, glad that he clearly planned a similar night to the one she had in mind.
The two walked hand in hand- an intimacy that Quinn couldn't recall ever sharing existing between them. It felt natural and right to both of them, and it scared him to death. He knew he could be throwing this all away by going back overseas- willingly risking his life, walking away from what could be a settled future. In his heart of hearts he knew that wasn't how he was destined to live- he could never fully step away from the semi dark existence that he had lived in for as long as he could remember. He couldn't imagine living a life where he wasn't chasing after terrorists or assassinating enemies of national security, he had always thought he could, but his recent brush in Islamabad and then Syria just confirmed it ran through him as sure as his blood did. He just didn't know how that could fit with this new thing that was developing with Carrie. He sighed as he was lost in thought.
"Hey you ok?" Carrie asked him, squeezing his forearm with her spare hand as she sensed his distraction.
"Yeah sorry- I'm fine" he told her, looking at her soft features. When he had first met her he had never thought she would look at him with such love in her eyes, and such care in every touch. He turned his attention back to their walk and held the door of the bar open as they arrived at their destination. He walked to the back and managed to grab the booth he had wanted, making sure Carrie was settled he headed to the bar and ordered drinks for them both, rejoining her within minutes.
"So" she stated with a sad smile. "Where do we go from here?" she asked, sipping at her wine. Quinn sighed and leaned forward on the table.
"I really don't know Carrie" he told her. "I don't know what this is, or where it is heading, or if its compatible with everything else- but I know I would like to find out" he told her honestly. He looked at her face, his blue eyes locked on hers as he showed his soul to her like he had never done to anybody else. Carrie returned the glance, his words hitting her right in the heart. She loved him, she knew she loved him more than she had ever loved anybody in her life- but could she commit to a relationship with somebody who may head to a warzone and never make it back? She sighed- she was fooling herself- it made no difference whether they were 'together' or not she would still worry sick about where he was.
"I love you Quinn" she told him instead, her words answering none of his comments, yet answering all of them at the same time. Quinn smiled, and leaned forward to kiss her- their hearts beating in perfect line with each other as their lips met and it was as if all the rest of the world and all of the obstacles disappeared.
End Chapter Twenty Nine.
