Pale Blue Shadows

Chapter 29: All in the Timing

Roxanne shook her head. "It isn't Megamind I have to have compassion for," she replied lightly, "It's the rest of the world."

She didn't say anything else until long after Wayne had carted her back home from the prison.

Dinner was a tense affair. The Scott family mansion had a grand dining room for important affairs and functions, and a smaller, but no less imposing, dining room for family dinners. It had been several years ago now that the old Mr. Scott had passed away. Wayne's adopted mother lived in a nearby retirement home, where she passed the hours having conversations with the potted plants in her suite. Wayne spared no expense to keep her living comfortably, even if she was utterly unaware of her surroundings. It was all the family Wayne had, after all. Which normally meant that he was pleased to share his meals with Roxanne. Despite the stern faces that glared down at them, the meals eaten in that room were generally quite cheery. From the outside, looking in, one saw two people who had not only renewed their friendship, but had begun to explore something more.

Tonight, dinner was quiet. Instead of the usual conversation, the air sat heavy between the two people sharing their meal. Roxanne pushed the food on her plate around in small circles, decidedly not hungry. She missed the meals that Minion prepared. Sometimes, on the occasions she was able to find an excuse to leave and head to the evil liar, Minion would make her lunch. Few things seemed to give him as much joy as having someone enjoy the things he made. Few things gave Roxanne as much joy as eating something prepared with love, rather than something prepared because of a paycheck.

Finally, Wayne set his fork down with a heavy sigh. Roxanne looked up at him, her eyes meeting his. He seemed at war with himself. Usually he had a hearty appetite. Tonight he had eaten little more than Roxanne. There was a long moment. Roxanne put her fork down as well, pushing her plate away from her. "It's okay," she said softly, "I'm not hungry either."

Wayne shook his head, "I'm sorry, Roxie." His voice was heavy with regret. "I should have realized he'd try a stunt like that. I should never have suggested that you face him…" Roxanne watched him grind his teeth, the tendons in his jaw tightening. A heavy fist slammed against the table. "I'm sick of always having to tell you I'm sorry!" he exclaimed abruptly. "I'm tired of not being able to protect you from him!"

Roxanne stared at Wayne with absolute calm. She had seen him this way before. In what felt like a previous lifetime, she had heard him out when he expressed whatever frustrations he had. He would slam his fist on tables and yell for a little while, and then he would calm down and remember that of all the people on Earth, he couldn't get angry. Not really. Not with his powers.

In some ways, Roxanne still felt pity for him. In that past life, she had actively felt bad for him, and felt sorry for the weight on his shoulders. In this life, it was a pity for how pathetic he really was. With all his power, he had done little to better himself. He had been born into the lap of luxury, and had never tried to share that wealth. He let the organized crime, much of which fed profits back into the Scott family fortune, continue to run. He did little to widen his horizons. He rarely considered things from anyone else's perspective. There was something to pity in all that. Perhaps it was the same sort of pity a hunter felt for a severely injured animal, or a predator for old, sickened prey. But it was still pity.

Wayne looked at her with confused eyes. "How can you be so calm?" he demanded suddenly. "That… thing assaulted you. The whole way home, all night… you've been just absolutely, perfectly calm."

Roxanne felt empty at that moment. She was so tired of wearing an emotional mask. Of saying, doing, faking the opposite of what she felt. She now just felt hollow. She blinked very slowly. Normally, her brain would be racing, trying to feed her the perfect line. Tonight, there was nothing. She needed to sleep, to rest, to have a moment's reprieve in which she could unpack the moment Syx's lips touched hers and relive the feeling, without having to focus on how she had to react to make this plan work.

She sighed heavily, letting her gaze fall to the crisp, white tablecloth. She spread her fingers against its starched texture. "I don't know how else to be," she said quietly. "There's just been so much. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel, right now."

"And calm is your default?" he sounded incredulous. "After everything you've been through?"

Roxanne flexed her fingers, feeling the roughness of the fabric beneath her fingers. "Yeah," she replied after a long moment. "Weird, huh? You'd think I'd want to be all… Hulk-smash or be a weepy damsel in distress or... I dunno… just quit this shit and join the marines." She shook her head, "But no, calm is what I've got to work with."

Roxanne raised her gaze to meet Wayne's eyes as they gazed at her. "Think you can teach me that trick?" he asked ruefully.

The ghost of an honest smile crossed Roxanne's lips. For a moment, Roxanne could almost feel the person she had been in that last life. Could feel the life she had left behind. It was hypocritical and bland, full of compromised dreams and beliefs, lacking in passion. But it was a life. So many people in the world, all just trying to live the best they can within the means they are given. Was it a lack of vision that kept them from reaching out and taking whatever more it was they needed to make their lives mean something? Was it cowardice or maybe just laziness that sapped away the desire to accomplish something more than a not-uncomfortable survival? Was it this feeling of being just completely overwhelmed, that she felt now, in this very moment, all it took?

"I'm going to go to bed," Roxanne announced slowly, pushing her chair out from the table, "It's been a long day."

Wayne nodded absently in response, "Have a good night, Roxie."


Several days passed in a similar manner. If anything, Roxanne saw less of Wayne than usual. On the night he failed to even come to dinner, she decided it was time to figure out what was going on. If there was even a chance that she had somehow given herself away, she needed to know. Plan B would have to be put into action. At least things were far enough along that Plan B could work.

The hallway was dark, and even the study seemed darkened from where Roxanne stood. She stepped lightly, bare feet making barely a sound on the hardwood floors. Faintly, she could hear the dull crackle of the wood fire. The warm orange glow of reflected fire greeted her in the polished surface of the doorframe. Roxanne slipped into the open doorway and gazed into the room.

As before, Wayne sat in his armchair in front of the fire. He seemed to be staring into the fire intently. "Come in, Roxie," he said softly. "I've been wanting to talk to you."

Roxanne swallowed lightly, wondering if the game was up. She walked towards him with baited breath, exhaling slowly as he patted the arm of the chair with a heavy hand. Roxanne slid onto the chair arm, running a hand down the wider skirt of her knee-length, flowered dress. The leather of the armchair squeaked comfortingly as Wayne wrapped one arm around Roxanne's waist and angled her so that she faced him.

"Roxie," he said finally, gathering her hands into his own, "I've made a decision." Roxanne tilted her head slightly, wondering what sort of decision took Wayne several days and a missed dinner to make. Wayne ducked his head for a moment, looking oddly young despite the grey growing in around his temples. "Roxie, I've taken a look at my life, and its missing so many of the things I'd always hoped it would have. I always thought that, despite everything, one day I would find someone I could have a family with. I mean, I know there's the whole triple-stranded helix DNA thing, but I could adopt. I mean, if Brad Pitt can do it, then so can I, right?" He gazed up at her from beneath his eye lashes. "There's so many things I wanted to do. So many things I've wanted to try. I want to play the guitar, and teach my son how to play baseball, and…oh, I don't know, have family barbeques." He lifted his eyes so that he looked directly at Roxanne, "But I always thought that I had to protect the city first, and put myself second. But with Megamind behind bars for good… well, what's to stop me?"

Roxanne couldn't hold back the dropping of her jaw. "But what about when he gets out?" she heard herself say, as if from a distance.

Wayne laughed, patting her knee, "Oh Roxie, don't you think he would have gotten out of there by now, if he could? It's been nearly six months. He's never been kept behind bars that long before. Which means we've finally won. We've succeeded."

Roxanne stared at Wayne incredulously. "Well, what about the next supervillain?" she demanded.

Wayne's hand settled on Roxanne's knee, curling around it possessively. "What next supervillain, Roxie?" he asked with a smile. "Think about it, who was the last supervillain before Megamind? How often do you hear about supervillains in the international news?" He laughed, a hearty laugh that spouted from deep in his chest. "The answer, is that there aren't any!" His smile was so bright, it looked as though his face would crack. "What are the chances that two aliens land in the same city on the same day, and grow up to be the only superhero and supervillain in the world?" He shook his head, "It's almost as if it was planned, that's how small the chances are!"

Roxanne bit her tongue to keep herself from asking to see his math. He hadn't done any, she knew that. For Wayne, chances and probability were figures of speech, not calculable values. "So that's it?" she said instead, in a small voice, "You're just going to give up?"

Wayne frowned, his grip on her knee loosening subconsciously. "It's not giving up, Roxie, it's getting a chance to live a real life."

Roxanne wrinkled her nose. "You mean you don't think you've been living a real life?" she asked. "There's so many people out there who wish they could make a difference, and you have all these powers, and you're just going to… ignore the rest of the world?"

Wayne looked at her askance. "I can control my powers," he said, "I can be normal."

"But why?" Roxanne pressed. "What's wrong with being different? What's wrong with being better than normal?"

Wayne's expression softened. "Okay, I get it," he released Roxanne's knee, only to recapture her hands. "Roxanne, imagine that all your life, you've had to be someone that everyone else wanted, even needed, you to be. Wouldn't you want a break from that? A chance to just sit back and enjoy the things you have? Haven't I given enough to have earned the right to my own life?"

Roxanne bit her lip. "You have your own life, Wayne," she said softly. "There's never been anything stopping you from having someone in your life. You've never had to be lonely."

Wayne tugged on her hands lightly, pulling Roxanne into his lap. "I know that now," he told her, resting his forehead against hers. "I'm just tired, Roxanne," he murmured. "I've spent so much time giving myself away. For nothing. There's no return for the things I do. I come home at the end of the night to an empty house, an empty bed, an empty life. I just feel like its time I had some of the things that I want."

Roxanne swallowed the frustrated rage that threatened to spring forward. That Wayne actually felt like he had things tough, that he wanted nothing more than a life of mediocrity, to turn blind eyes on the ills of the world, to ignore the fact that of all of the people on the planet, he actually had some ability to change things; it boggled her mind. It made her longing for Syx even more biting.

Warm lips pressed a kiss to Roxanne's forehead, dragging her from her thoughts. She blinked, "That does make sense, Wayne." She nodded slowly, considerately, "I guess I never saw it that way before. I was always trying to make so many changes in the world, I guess I didn't stop to consider how hard it could be if its just expected and demanded of you."

Wayne's smile could have powered a light bulb. "I knew you would understand, Roxie," he glowed, placing a gentle kiss on her lips as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer.

For a long time, Roxanne sat curled into Wayne's arms, watching the fire eat away at the wood in the fireplace with ravenous hunger. She wanted so much more. Even with Syx at her side, neither of them had been content to just sit around. There was so much to learn, to do, to plot. Even if the world lay one day at their feet, there would still be so much to do. With Syx's brain and her burgeoning sense of purpose, there was so much they could accomplish. The people of Metrosity might be servants to an Evil Overlord and his queen, but they would ultimately be better for it. Roxanne felt a whimsical smile cross her lips as a stray thought crossed her mind. Whatever would Syx do with a city without her at his side? He'd probably have too many ideas to figure out what he really wanted to achieve. She shook her head fondly.

"What are you thinking about?" Wayne's voice was a intimate intrusion on her thoughts, which had transported her far away from him. For a moment, Roxanne felt almost suffocated, surrounded by Wayne, and on his terms, rather than her own machinations.

"What might have been," she answered coyly, "And what will still be." She smiled at him lazily, "What your adopted children might look like."

"That reminds me," Wayne said finally, "I almost forgot to tell you about the museum opening."

"Museum opening?" Roxanne parroted, confusion written across her features.

"Yeah," Wayne gave her a school-boyish smile, "That big, curtained tower they're building downtown? It's a museum they're dedicating to me."

For the second time that night, Roxanne felt her jaw drop. "Seriously?" she exclaimed, only rescuing her sarcastic tone at the last minute, twisting the word into a high-pitched squeal as she launched herself further into Wayne's arms, hiding the disgusted look on her face as she did so. "Congratulations! That's so wonderful! They're recognizing all you've done for them!" She bounced slightly in his lap, exclaiming her shared joy with all the brightness of a fake tan.

"I figure it will be a good time to break the news too," Wayne said, folding his arms behind his head and leaning back, his eyes watching her closely.

"You mean about your retirement?" Roxanne asked breathlessly.

"Yeah," Wayne smiled, gazing at her with warm eyes. "The timing seems right. It's planned for November 5th. Six months since Megamind got locked up for good."

Roxanne's eyes clouded over for a moment, her brain pouncing on the idea and squealing over it. She blinked slowly, gazing up at Wayne from behind her lashes. "That does sound like simply wonderful timing."

The plan had officially come to fruition.