Of all the places she could be on a Saturday night, Caroline had no idea why she was here. In some dark pub, sitting alone in the corner on her third glass of red wine. Well, that wasn't entirely true, she knew why she was here. She would usually be at home with her boys, but William had gone out with a friend and Lawrence had begged for John to be allowed over. Caroline had relented, if only to get a smile from her youngest, but the idea of spending an evening in with John was not her idea of a relaxing night. So, she had wracked her brains to think of somewhere that she would find relaxing- nothing. Finally, in despair, she'd chosen to go to the pub. She had apparently liked it while at university, so maybe it would hold the same charm now.

It didn't. Caroline just felt more depressed than she had in a long time. Perhaps she should call Kate. Kate always- Caroline stopped then. Even thinking of the language teacher soothed her pain a little. She'd been thinking of places where she could relax, she hadn't even considered people who made her feel that way.

A glance at her watch told Caroline it wouldn't be too late to call her, but every time her finger hovered over the call button, her mind thought of reasons not to. Finally, she called a taxi instead.


"Caroline!"

"Who's at the door?!" A voice called from further into the house.

Caroline blanched. Of course Kate wouldn't be here alone, lonely like Caroline on a Saturday night. She had friends. Maybe she was even seeing someone else and Caroline had just interrupted their date. No, Kate wouldn't do that.

Caroline's internal monologue went on for so long that she didn't realise she'd stood in silence on Kate's front door step for almost a whole minute until Kate stepped a little closer, putting a hand on her arm. "Are you okay?"

"I shouldn't have come. You have company. Sorry." Caroline stepped away.

Kate gave a confused smile, reaching out again only for Caroline to take another step back. Instead, she lifted her arms to hug herself, warding off the chill of the night. "You can come in, if you like. I thought you had something planned for you and Lawrence tonight?"

"I did. I do. I should go." Caroline motioned over her shoulder only to remember she hadn't driven her jeep but had caught a taxi, the tail lights of which were disappearing around the corner.

"What's happened? Come inside, please. It's just a couple of friends, we're watching an old movie." Kate frowned with concern. She could smell alcohol on Caroline's breath and the usually immaculate head teacher was here in jeans and a crumpled shirt, not a stitch of make-up on her face.

"..I don't want to see people." Caroline finally whispered, adding hesitantly "I just wanted to see you."

Kate risked unfolding her arms to reach out again, and this time Caroline allowed the woman to take her hand. "Come inside. You could go upstairs and have a bath? The movie is almost finished, so they'll be gone soon."

"I don't want to see anyone." Caroline repeated, tears making her eyes glassy.

"I know. We'll go around and in the back door, then you can go straight up without being seen."

"…Okay." Caroline finally offered quietly. She allowed Kate to lead her around to the back door and then inside and up the stairs. She briefly wondered what Kate's friends might think of this uninvited visitor being ushered through in silence.

Kate, still looking concerned, sat Caroline down on her bed and then went in to run a bath, adding in some of the bubbles she liked after a long day at work. She returned briefly downstairs to make Caroline a cup of tea and give a quiet explanation to her friends. When she returned, she helped a completely silent Caroline get undressed and slide into the bath.

As the steam and warmth hit her and Caroline saw Kate place a mug of tea within reach, Caroline finally spoke again. "Kate?"

Kate lifted her eyes, giving a tentative smile.

"Thank you." Was all Caroline finally managed to offer, her eyes flickering shut when Kate dropped a kiss to her forehead.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Kate asked gently, using one hand to stroke blonde locks.

"…Later. Go and finish your movie."

Kate hesitated but then gave a nod. "Call if you need me."


Kate stayed downstairs until the end of the movie, if only so Caroline wouldn't feel bad for interrupting her night, but when it finished she was quick to usher her friends out the door and take the stairs two at a time to get back to her girlfriend.

Caroline was still in the same position she'd left her in, though her face had a bit more colour from the steam rising around her. She gave a faint smile when she heard Kate walk in but nothing more.

"What's happened?" Kate asked softly as she sat on the edge of the bath, putting her fingertips into the water to check that it hadn't cooled too much.

Caroline opened and closed her mouth a few times before letting out a weary sigh. "I don't know really."

"Well, what's happened since I left your house last night?" Kate tried.

"..I went to bed. Lawrence and William were already asleep, so I went to bed. I suppose I had a good sleep, I don't remember."

"Then this morning?" Kate asked gently.

"…John was in the house. Lawrence gave him back the spare key again. He had music blasting and he was making waffles with Lawrence."

"Well, there we are then. A mess in your kitchen is bound to make you feel terrible."

Caroline gave another faint smile, blue eyes opening briefly to look at Kate before they shut again. "William was upset about it, but it's not like it was any different to hundreds of other Saturday mornings we've had. But as the day wore on I just had this..this feeling inside like I was going to break. I don't know how or why, I just felt it getting stronger and stronger. Then John asked me if he could stay for dinner, the special dinner I was supposed to be making Lawrence, and Lawrence begged me to say yes and…I just burst into tears. I don't know where it came from and I couldn't stop it. I just grabbed my keys and left. I was sitting in a pub for hours before I came here. It's completely stupid. I don't know why it's even happened."

"…A lot has changed in your life Caroline. The plans you had for the future have all changed and you have every right to feel emotional about that."

"But I'm happy. I'm properly happy for the first time in a very long time and I can look at the future and feel good about it, so I don't understand why I feel like this!" Caroline gave a frustrated huff.

Kate nibbled her lip for a moment considering her reply. "Being happy now doesn't mean you can't be sad about the past, Caroline. You had everything all planned and you were willing to sacrifice things you wanted to make that plan happen. You and John were going to grow old together, your boys were going to grow up and go to university and visit their parents every important holiday, bring the grandchildren, all to this beautiful home you'd made for them. John ruined that. So, I think that even if you are happy now, you can still mourn the life you might have had."

"..It wouldn't upset you?"

"Not one bit."

Caroline smiled again, a little stronger now, and opened her eyes to consider Kate's. "...And you don't mind me coming to your house wild-eyed and dressed terribly in the middle of the night?"

"It's hardly the middle of the night, but even if it was I wouldn't care. And you'd look magnificent even in a bin bag."

"…How did I get so lucky?"

"You just deserved happiness after everything you've sacrificed for other people."

Caroline gazed up at Kate for a long time before she gave a sigh. "I'd better go home."

"Would you…I could-"

"Would you come with me?" Caroline asked, blue eyes anxious again. "You…You make me feel-."

Kate smiled, lifting a hand to brush a damp fringe out of Caroline's eyes. "Of course I'll come."

Caroline regarded her for a moment before she offered softly, "I love you, Kate."

"Tell me that again when I've messed up your kitchen."

Caroline gave her first laugh of the day, shaking her head. "I try to be romantic and you make fun of me!"

"Need I remind you that last time you tried to be romantic you wrapped a bow onto the bonnet of your car and told me I could drive it home."

"Not just any car, my beloved jeep! That was very romantic, I'll have you know." Caroline smiled as she allowed Kate to pull her from the bath and into a large fluffy towel.

"I love you, too." Kate whispered into Caroline's ear as she pushed her front door key into the lock of her home a short time later.

Caroline's shoulders instantly relaxed and she looked at Kate's reflection in the glass for a moment before she pushed open the door.