Chapter 29


Rey stirred, savoring the last few moments before waking up from a wonderful dream.

"Told you not to eat it here. Look, you almost woke her up."

"Aaaarghh. Eaarrrh."

"I told you, I don't understand you. Please, please just go find Skywalker. No – don't." She heard the rustling of fabric. "Look, I happen to love this jacket, all right? You don't spill breadcrumbs on this….ugh."

"Is that a fashion emergency I hear, Finn?" When he snapped his neck towards her, she was already looking at him and smiling.

"Gods, how great it is to see you." Finn sighed.

Only when Rey sat up, she noticed that Finn had his jacket draped over identical white robes like hers. "What happened? Are you all right? What about the others? Where's Poe? And Luke? And that man…Tannos, or Tannah…"

Finn chuckled, raising his hand to stop the barrage of questions. "I'm fine. I took a blaster hit to my shoulder. Poe is running around the base somewhere, trying to be the big hero he always is. Skywalker most likely disappeared with that man – his name is Tanakh. Ever since the battle, they're always plotting something, or arguing. All in all, it's never boring here."

"How long was I…"

"Oh, just three days. Don't worry, nothing major happened."

How wrong he was, Rey dropped her gaze. Everything happened. It all changed for her. She fiddled with the blankets on her lap.

"Where's my co-pilot" She spun her head when she didn't see Chewie.

"He went out to finish his Groat chop. Don't ask." Finn rolled his eyes. "We'll never get the stench off the Millenium Falcon again. He went on a spree when you left him the ship on Takodana."

Corners of her lips twitched, at first. Then, her soft chuckle grew into full-blown laughter. She was laughing so hard, she snorted like a child. "By all the disconnected droids, I haven't had a laugh like this in ages." She was wiping tears from her eyes. She still could laugh – that was a sign. She would get through this; she didn't need him. She didn't, she screamed and kicked until her focus returned back to Finn.

Medical droid measured her vital functions, and when it cleared her, Rey was allowed to leave. She was folding her hospital robes, when she noticed new blood stain. She was bleeding for a few days, but she chalked it up to the stress her body endured in the last days. She took a steaming hot shower, interrupted by an occasional water shortage due to unstable grid. She pressed a faint scar where the stitches used to be, marring her skin across her pubic bone like a barbed wire. She made a mental note to review the memory records of the medical droid later.

As she massaged her scalp with jasmine soap, the tension gradually disappeared from her shoulders. She was doing it mechanically, not thinking about the way her hands slid down her wet body. She felt him inside her, his whispers in her ear, his hands on her collarbone.

Once again, she had to scream inside her head.

She got dressed in a clean white dress that had been provided for her. They were long and flared at the end, while tight top fastened with a leather belt. Rey never wore a dress. She considered it impractical and girly. She imagined bouncing off a frigate to salvage a retractor in this, and frowned. Her hair layered in soft chocolate waves, the dress hugged her petite figure.

Rey felt like a woman, maybe for the first time in her life. Physical connection she shared with Kylo didn't make her feel any different. It felt natural as breathing, not a milestone she felt the need to mule over in her head. This, however, did feel strange.

Finn didn't recognize her as she emerged from the medical ward. She was radiant; her olive skin contrasted with the niveous dress and brought out two colors of her eyes more.

"What?" Rey crossed her arms at her chest. "You thought I wouldn't wear that, did you?"

"Not really. It suits you. You look…"

Rey snorted. She wasn't used to compliments, not even from Kylo. Here he was, again, wormed in her head like a virus.

'Well, he did try to kill you. It would be more alarming not to think about him.'

'Shut up.' She argued with herself. Even her own mind was split in two, a half which wished to kill him, and the other wishing she never met him.

Both friends were walking across a barren courtyard, leading to the building which didn't stand there three days ago. It was made from metal and glass, three stories high and full of light. It stood like a grandiose prism in the midst of a desert. It screamed class; it screamed power and immediately divided those in the fortress from those below. Rey didn't like it one bit.

"Resistance built that?" She asked.

"There is no more Resistance. We're called another name now; a pompous one I can't seem to remember. They will tell you everything." Finn led her to the highest floor.

The compound was buzzing like a beehive. Men and women dressed in light blue official uniforms were carrying tablets, and stacks of paper and plasma screens. Aliens and humans were crossing the corridors and the languages mingled and disappeared into one dissonant babble. She didn't pay attention to furtive stares from men who were sizing her up from head to toe. Finn did, but he had more fun watching Rey's clueless stomp; that cute determined walk he was so used to.

The third and highest floor was the quietest. BeeBee Eight rolled around Rey's ankles and nudged her forward. She let Finn go first and quickly squatted next to the droid, rolled up her sleeve and let him scan the fading ink. She couldn't wait to thoroughly scrub off the last remnants of Hux's touch.

She and Finn entered an oval board room with a large glass panel instead of its southern wall. At the table, were sitting nearly all people she had inquired about, and some other she never met.

"For the winning side, they sure don't look happy, huh?" Finn whispered as he held her chair. Rey sat down between Leia and Poe, who immediately flashed his pearly whites and rubbed her back. Leia gave her one sad smile and returned to examining her charts. Finally, at the head of the table, Luke Skywalker stood up.

"Now, we're all here. We can begin." He was wearing a set of robes which had seen better days. He had bags under his eyes and his beard was longer and scruffier. Rey expected more personal welcome, if not warmer.

"As you all know, seventy-two hours ago ended one of the most important battles in recent history. Battle of Korriban managed to sway the prospects on our side. The Resistance won over the First Order, stationed here; in their self-proclaimed slaver's mine colony. Since the imposing of slavery on free peoples of all star systems has been in direct breach of the First Amended Sith-Galactic Treaty…"

Rey couldn't believe her ears.

They were supposed to be celebrating; trying to meet with people they had saved and get them home as soon as possible. Instead, she was sat at a saccharine political meeting. These people looked burdened by the very notion of a handshake, let alone personal contact with those below this shiny fortress.

Her eyes circled the room.

A golden protocol droid with red arm was taking notes. Three men she had never seen, dressed in high-ranking uniforms, were sitting too straight, reminding her of Hux. Leia kept her eyes on the table, and Tanakh – the Dathomirian who helped her, was brooding about something known only to him. Rey had definitely had more fun at the funeral of Marckell; the distant relative of Unkar Plutt who fell to the rotavator. Perhaps the fun had to do more with the fact that they were burying pink goo, because the rotavator crushed his slimy limbs.

"…so, without further notice, the actions of Resistance has been voted null and void, as of this moment. The Galactic Concordat has come into session. All present occupy the position in new government in certain capacity."

Luke put away his flat screen and sat down. Rey couldn't take it any longer. She addressed him directly, even if he didn't show her the same courtesy. "Wait – I am not supposed to be privy to this, then. I am not a member of your concordat government, or however you spell it." She wasn't even a fully trained Jedi, and no one asked her if she wanted to get involved in this. When people assumed, instead of asked, she got really angry.

Luke barely looked at her. "Yes, you are. Please, don't interrupt us. We have a lot on our agenda today."

"You're supposed to be a new Jedi Master.," Poe winked at her and pointed at himself."Air force," then he pointed at Finn. "Army."

Finn put his hand on Rey's under table. She was getting agitated.

Leia rose next. "As you know, the Council named me an interim Governor of the newly formed Galactic Senate. I want to address the most immediate issue, and that is the slaves." Golden droid handed her another tablet. "As of now, more than thirteen thousand slaves are in our care. Those are only able bodied, and ready to be shipped to their home planets at moment's notice. Another two thousand are in need of our medical attention. Remaining four thousand five hundred are most likely going to succumb to their injuries." She sighed. "The least we can do is to make them comfortable here, on Korriban."

Able bodied? Processed? Shipped? Rey didn't understand how they could still speak of them as units, as numbers. She squirmed in her seat, thankful for Finn's hand. She was a number not so long ago. Just because someone saw beyond her number could she now sit here and play at an important official.

"Where can I see them? I need to see a list of names at least. I promised someone I would find them." Rey asked.

"I can look it up right now, we have formed a database based on their collar statistics. Give me a name," Leia beckoned.

"Sirah, her name is Sirah. She's just a little girl, six, maybe seven." Rey bit her lower lip. Leia's fingers swept the screen. Rey knew the moment their new governor learnt what became of the girl; but she decided to double check; then triple check.

"You can tell me," Rey said quietly. "I already know, if you're stalling."

"She's not on the list of survivors. Her collar is disconnected; it transmits no activity. I am so sorry." Leia said, but she wasn't. She couldn't be. She didn't feel sorry for her own son. How could she feel sorry for a girl she never met?

Rey's breaths got deeper. Her eyes screamed at anyone who would gaze into them. No one in the room did. They were all sitting, discussing statistics and playing with numbers.

Leia continued. "The Galactic Concordat will reside on Korriban, for now, while we're looking for a new suitable planet for our Senate. We already have volunteers statio-"

"What about Kylo Ren?" Rey stood up. "What about him, huh?"

Leia dropped the small plasma screen on the table.

"Kylo Ren has vanished." Luke's voice got hoarser with each word. "He escaped after he crashed down a Star Destroyer and murdered hundreds of people in cold blood. Of course, we would have gotten to that point even without your interruptions."

"Rey," Finn took her in his hand again.

Rey lurched away. Fine, she would go looking for Sirah herself. The possibility of her being dead simply didn't exist for Rey, until she saw the body.

"I don't care." She took further step back. "I don't belong here, with you. Don't count on me being a part of this. If you excuse me, I'll go where I'm useful – down to the barracks, to make those dying numbers comfortable. "

"You are not excused." Luke stopped her. In single wave of his hand, he latched the door. "Sit."

Rey rattled the handle. It was locked. She hesitated using the Force in front of all these people. Slowly, she returned to her seat, glaring at Luke.

He let out a deep sigh and exchanged a glance with his sister. "I think we need to discuss some things in private. If you please," he waved again, and the door opened. Everyone, but Rey and her Master vacated their seats.

"Don't think-"

"Don't you think-"

They both started at once. Luke motioned to her, inviting her to speak first.

Rey folded her arms across her chest, making a point of addressing a wall, not Luke. "Hello Master. Good to see you, Master. How have you been? Oh, I see you've been injured – let me ask about you, Master. Great. We freed thousands of slaves, now, let's all sit around a big polished table and act important. No? Well, at least make sure to make a fool of Rey when she doesn't want to be a part of this and not let her be useful in her own way."

Luke sat mutely, his eyes twinkling.

She was tapping her foot, still looking ahead. "But Rey," she mimicked Luke's deep voice. "Patience is essential to a Jedi," "Patience is the key. Impatience leads to anxiety, anxiety leads to fear, fear leads to…" The words stopped pouring.

She was still staring into empty space, but her eyes no longer saw the wall. Rey was reliving a moment of fear; the one moment when she took a literal leap of faith. She was so afraid above that precipice; so broken. Her hand slipped to her stomach without thinking. She felt like caressing that scar.

Luke relived it with her, through the Force.

He cleared his throat. "Are you quite finished, my padawan? I think you had me exact; only the pitch was a little off. Look at me." He pleaded.

Rey jerked back. Look at me, Kylo whispered to her in the most intimate of moments. This day was full of moments which clawed at her heart deeper, and deeper. Her eyes flooded. She wiped them as if nothing happened.

"Rey – look at me." Luke repeated.

The second she did, warmth and peace washed over her. Luke's silver eyes smoothed over that burden. He took her hand into his. "I know. I know what happened between you and Ben. Tanakh told me some things, and what he didn't, I saw."

"How?"

"How do you think you healed so fast in three days? I put you in the deep Force hibernation, an ancient trance state in which one Jedi can direct the life force to another. I saw it all in your mind, from the moment you were fighting in the forest of Starkiller base. All."

Rey's hand trembled in Luke's.

That's why he looked so tired, so drained. He did it for her – and she acted like a brat. It reminded her of what Kylo did in the temple. While Sith took the life force from all around them, often killing the victim; Jedi sacrificed their own to heal the other. Jedi would suffer, while Sith made others suffer, all for the same goal.

"I don't know how to thank you, Master. I don't know how-"

"You don't have to thank me, Rey. You are my padawan and I will always take care of you."He gently caressed her cheek. "But some things are beyond my control; some wounds you need to heal yourself, before they fester and turn into scars. Wounds can be healed, scars last forever."

She knew exactly what he was talking about. "I don't know what you mean." She lied. She didn't feel comfortable discussing Ren with someone who would see but a beast, not a man. She would have to defend her feelings, if Luke pointed out how perverse they were, how wrong it all ended.

"You're in denial. You loved him and he hurt you, so much you wouldn't mind dying on that mountain. You need to mourn, Rey, mourn and let go. Move on before it consumes you."

"I never wanted to die," she said loudly. "I don't care what he did. I never really believed him anyway. In fact, he did what's in his nature; in the nature of evil. I trusted him and he didn't. I believed he would trust me before anyone else, but he didn't."

Luke saw the change in her. She hadn't realized it yet, but she opened the wound.

"Yes. " She stood up, pacing the room. "He raised his hand against me. But I don't care…not really." She swung her arms in the air. "We won, Korriban is free of the First Order and now, thousands of people can come back to their families; to the people who love them."

"Well, if you truly feel that way, then nothing stands in your way to join me. I am to form a new Force training facility; Tanakh and I have already tested nearly half the slave children. Some are force sensitive. "

"Another Jedi academy?" Rey asked.

"Not exactly. The age of Jedi and Sith has ended. The age of Force Users begins. They will be trained differently than me, and even you."

"That is…" Rey had to take two more breaths till she could talk again. "That is great."

Luke raised himself and calmly stood in the center of the chamber as she spiraled around him like a satellite. "You can't feel him through the Force and he can't feel you, despite your bond. He went too deep in the dark side of the Force for your light. I cloaked you from him, when I healed you in the hibernation. He escaped, but we're hunting him. There is but one outcome for my nephew, and you and him being together isn't it. Don't torment yourself with imagined future."

How could he desecrate those moments they shared? Rey was gasping for breath, wiping streams of hot tears. For the first time since the battle night, she admitted the greatest loss in her life, not to Luke – to herself.

All that betrayal; all that hurt was screaming to come out.

"I loved him, Master. Nothing about it is imagined – our future certainly wasn't. If a stupid piece of plastic didn't fall out my pocket, you and I wouldn't be sitting here right now. You don't know him very well, then, when you doubt how deeply we felt about each other."

Their love was real.

Their love could move mountains. Kylo saved Sirah because he loved Rey. And now, Rey killed her, because she didn't get to her in time, as she promised. Ren and Rey's fate was tied to that little, innocent girl. It didn't matter which side they were on, as long as they remained together. Together, they could save a life - or destroy it. Together, they could do anything.

"But what kind of love it was, when you would have chosen the fall to escape it? When you would have killed yourself?"

"I didn't want to kill myself." She insisted.

"No?"

"I didn't want to kill myself." She repeated louder.

"What, then? Admit it, Rey."

I didn't!" She screamed. "I wanted to punish him! I wanted him to feel my loss and take the knowledge he was the cause of it to his grave. I knew exactly what he felt when he saw me falling down. I knew because I felt the same when I left him above."

Rey fell to her knees and Luke followed. "Let go, Rey. Cry, if you must, but be rid of that pain." He cradled her in his arms like a child.

And Rey wept.


A/N Poor Rey. Kylo in the next one, that'll be just intense...Thank you all wonderful people for reading and comments :)