It had been a lovely Christmas. Santana had loved every gift Finn had given her, especially her bling "Mom" necklace and her shoes, and although she had snickered and rolled her eyes at the little baby onesie and tutu designed like a football pattern, she had oohed and ahhed over the little baby outfits reading "Mommy's little princess" and "daddy's little girl" in glitter and sequins. Her baby was going to have style, no pastels and bunnies for their daughter, and she could hardly wait to see her in it.
Finn had seemed to like his gifts too; she had taken time to choose several jokey "dad" shirts as well as some more meaningful gifts. And when they had called first his parents, than hers, she had glowed with happiness to see them and hear that they had genuinely liked the gifts she had sent. Sure, she had gotten a little weepy after- damn pregnancy hormones- but she knew that with the baby due in early February, she would be no doubt seeing her mother and probably her father too soon. Until then, she would be okay to skype her mother and talk to her every day if she wanted to.
The day had been pretty long, but not busy, seeing as they had decided to have Christmas day alone together, just the two of them- their first. Halfway through the day, regardless of the laidback nature of it, Santana had found herself feeling tired and achy, with cramps low in her abdomen, almost like a period. She had shrugged it off as Alexandra readjusting inside her, or maybe something she ate, carrying about her business as though she didn't feel it. When her lower back started to ache, this too she ignored; she had had plenty of aches, pains, and cramps since her pregnancy had begun, after all. Early evening she had decided to lie down early for bed, still not feeling very well, and she had curled up in an electric blanket, waiting for Finn to join her. She had been unable to sleep, however, despite her tiredness; the cramping didn't seem to be fading, even with rest and heat, but rather to be getting steadily more intense. Bothered, she had called for Finn to come hold her, hoping that with his arms around her, his lips brushing her hair or forehead occasionally, she would be able to relax enough to drift off.
But she couldn't. She was starting to feel something weird in her stomach, something she had never felt before…a strange tightening, like a fist was squeezing it hard. She had tried to ignore this, even as she became anxious, worrying that something was wrong, or maybe she was sick. She didn't feel nauseous though, and it didn't feel like indigestion or heartburn or anything else. It was painful in a way she had never encountered before, though not yet very intense, and she gripped Finn tightly, beginning to be too frightened by the possibility to speak it out loud. But when she felt liquid begin to dampen her underwear and knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that it wasn't due to anything like arousal or even her own urine, Santana's fears really began to take shape.
"Finn," she gasped, horrified. "Finn…I think I'm going into labor…"
She tried to remember what she was supposed to do. Lie on her side? What side? Should she draw her knees up to her chest, or should she stretch her legs all the way out to make her stomach longer? Should she eat or drink something to make it stop, or should she not be doing anything at all? And the most concerning question of all…what did this mean? What had she done wrong?
She was only 32 weeks along, just over seven months. She wasn't ready for labor yet…but more importantly, Alexandra wasn't. Her baby girl was not big enough or strong enough, not yet, and what if she wasn't going to be able to make it through? What if after all this time, all this effort and anticipation, she would never really have her at all?
When her abdomen tightened again, and she continued to feel fluid leaking between her legs, Santana felt her throat choke, and tears began to seep out of her eyes. She clutched Finn tightly, her voice hoarse, almost begging as she repeated herself.
"I think I'm in labor…Finn, it's too early! Make it stop, make her stop!"
Finn was startled by Santana's grip but more so, the tone of her voice. He knew she hadn't been feeling well and he was hoping that it was just pregnancy pains and cramps like she has had before. It was hard to massage her stomach with how she was holding it, so he stuck to her lower back and sides, trying to help and calm her down. Could this be a scare? They talked about these in all the books, but right now he couldn't really remember what it said to do. All he wanted to do is get his girls to the hospital to get everything checked out.
"San…we're going to have to get you to the hospital. They can make it stop and I need to make sure you're both okay," He whispered to her softly, not wanting to scare her anymore or even talk about labor.
She was only 32 weeks, so they had to be able to do something to help Santana and Alexandra with all this pain and delay things, right? Crap…he has no idea,they didn't prepare for her to go early or anything. Their doctor never mentioned the chance nor their moms. This is something they have to deal with and figure out all on their own.
"It's okay, it'll all be okay, I promise. We'll…we'll go to the hospital and make sure it's okay and see what's going on. It might just be…I don't know, something that's normal for pregnant ladies. But we gotta go to make sure you don't go into real labor."
He couldn't help but ramble and fumble on his words a bit as he was scared to death, but had to hide it from Santana. His thumbs moved to brush away some of her tears and he kissed her forehead softly.
"I'm going to make sure it's all going to be okay," Finn promised with a sniffle, choking back his own emotions as he moved to pack some things in a bag for both of them and helped her up out of bed. "I'll call your doctor in the car, we just need to get you there and figure this all out, babe."
Santana gripped Finn tightly as her stomach squeezed again- and then she realized with some shock that these must be contractions. She had been having these for some time now and trying to ignore them…didn't that mean the baby was coming? How long had she been letting it go on?! What if that meant the baby was going to be here too fast, before they could stop it? What if it would be her fault if Alexandra was too early, too little?
"I should have said something earlier," she said with a sob, clinching her teeth as another contraction struck. "I should have said something, what if it's too late?"
"No, no, babe. You had no idea, I had no idea. We couldn't know something was happening…and we don't know exactly what yet," Finn spoke lowly, his hand brushing through her hair before shaking his head. "Don't think that way, I promised everything will be okay and I mean it." He whispered a bit shakily, trying not to think about if it wasn't.
His arms wrapped around her body, practically carrying her to his truck. He kept brushing his lips to her cheek, reminding her to breath deep as he got her in carefully and placed the bag down in the back. They hadn't packed a hospital bag yet, but he grabbed a lot of things of Santana's just in case they had to stay the night.
"Squeeze my hand, do whatever you need, San. I promise we will be there in a few minutes at the most." Finn slipped his hand into hers as he started out into the street, trying to keep at a safe, fast speed.
Santana tries to listen to what he says, but inwardly she is completely freaking out. The pain isn't horrible right now, but she is physically uncomfortable for sure, and emotionally, she is a wreck. It doesn't matter what he's telling her; she is sure that if she had said something the second she noticed this, it could have already been stopped and Alexandra would be safe. She tries to keep taking deep breaths but she is having a hard time because she is still crying, and her sniffles and occasional sobs get in the way of this. She grips Finn's hand tightly, her other hand on her stomach, and she starts talking to Alexandra aloud.
"Stop…go back to sleep. It's not time, you have to stop it. Settle back down and go to sleep, please…"
Finn swallows hard as he hears her talking to their daughter. He hopes and prays she listens. Maybe she's moving around and got herself in the wrong position that feels like labor? It's hard to figure out what this could be when the last thing he wants is their daughter to be born before she's ready.
His fingers laced between hers as he waited to turn into the Hospital and got his phone out to call her doctor. He knows it's too soon to call and worry their moms because they'd be out here as quickly as they could no matter what, but maybe Santana needs that Maybe he does too?
"After the nurses tell us what's going on, I can call your mom and my mom, okay? Unless you want me to as soon as we get back there?" The boy asked shakily as he found a spot in the ER parking lot and raced around to get the bag and her, thankful someone was coming out with a wheelchair to help.
Santana shakes her head after a hesitation. It's true that she does want her mother right now, now that he's mentioned it, desperately. But even as frantic as she feels, she doesn't want her to worry if they can manage to stop her labor. When she sees the nurse approaching with a wheelchair, it doesn't even cross her mind to protest that she can walk. She lets Finn help her into it, reaching again for his hand and squeezing hard as another contraction hits.
"Finn…" she says again, the tone panicked, even as the nurse wheels her through the ER doors. "Finn, Finn!"
She doesn't know why she's saying his name exactly, except it's the only word that comes to mind.
His hand moves to take hers, realizing how scared she is by the tone in her voice. If he could talk right now, it would probably sound the exact same. He kept up with the wheelchair to make sure he was by her side every step of the way and never let go of her. It was evident how scared he is with how white his face was right now, but the nurse was trying to calm them both down with her soft voice as she got out the gown for Santana to change into and started some monitors.
"It'll be okay," Finn whispered as he moved to help her as best as he could with her clothes, holding onto her as she got changed.
He finally called her doctor once she was settled back against the pillows and the nurse moved a bit faster around her, another coming in to help. The doctor on call said he'd alert hers and hopefully they'll get whatever is going on figured out right away.
"They're just going to do some test first, babe, " He assured her, taking her hand once he put down his phone and leaned in to be as close as he could to keep her somewhat calm. This was so scary and he needed to do whatever he could to help her til they could figure out whats going on.
Santana is trying to calm down, realizing that being so upset and scared can't be good for the baby and probably not for keeping herself from advancing labor either. She gulps and tries to breathe, nails digging into Finn's hand. Her eyes are open wide, not wanting to miss anything the doctors or nurses might do now, and she asks them every question that occurs to her, wanting to know everything possible in the moment. After several minutes of trying to calm down she starts to cross herself, then her stomach a bit awkwardly. Although her religious views are loose at best, she was raised Catholic and she's covering all bases.
"Do you still pray to grilled Cheesus…?"
At the moment it's a serious question. She really will take any chances she can find.
Her question caught him completely off guard and he couldn't help but raise his eyebrows some and blink his eyes a few times over. Maybe he should start praying right now, their baby and her might need some god to watch over them.
"I don't…or well, I haven't. But I'll say some prayers if I need to, or heck I'll say them so that I don't need to," Finn whispered as he kissed her wrist and looked at the vital signs and charts starting to print out. It was hard to get a read on what the nurses reactions were because they were moving so quick and calling in other people.
"I'll do whatever it takes." He barely made out past his lips as he moved to hold her.
The nurse is instructing Santana to lie on her left side, helping her to do so. She gives her several glasses of water to drink, explaining that dehydration can bring on labor faster, and then she checks her cervix. Although Santana cannot tell the results by her expression, she explains to her, "I'm going to hook you up with an IV, Ms. Lopez, containing magnesium sulfate. This may help stop the birth, it seems from the state of your cervix that your baby is impatient to come out of you. This may make you nauseous, especially with the water you just drank, so you need to be sure to continue drinking water we give you. The nausea will fade quickly as we continue to give you the magnesium sulfate. We are also giving you corticosteroid in a second IV to attempt to accelerate the baby's lung and brain maturity, because from what it appears, she's going to be born within 24 hours. We will try to delay that as long as possible and give her as much of this medication as we can to help her grow, because I'm judging that based on the size of your abdomen and your weight she is somewhere between 3.5 and 4 pounds."
Santana bit her lip at this statement, nodding and trying again to keep from crying. Less than four pounds…that was tiny. What weighed four pounds? Even the smallest weights were usually five…
It didn't take long for the magnesium sulfate to take effect and she started to vomit into the tray they provided for her, shaking, gasping. It was difficult for her to make herself keep drinking, given her nausea, but for Alexandra she made herself try.
It was hard to know exactly what the nurse was saying, but he understood what an IV is and held Santana's hand tight as they put the needle into her arm. He knew that it was going to help both of his girls, but it still wasn't easy to watch, especially since he knew it would soon make her sick. Finn hoped if he rubbed her back and sides, it would help with the nausea, but that didn't seem to be the case at all. No matter what either of them did, it still made her sick so he held her hair and tried not to think about how tiny their daughter is going to be. They really think she's going to be born like, today or tomorrow?
He tried his best not to freak out and continued to help Santana by holding her hair and helping her with drinking the water. From what the nurse was saying, they really think Alexandra is coming and they can't do anything to stop it, just make it better.
"Your doing so good, babe," Finn whispered out to her, trying to give her some encouragement as his voice was shaky and scared, but he tried to be as strong as she is. "Our baby is a Lopez and a Hudson, she's so strong, so tough." He continued as he rubbed her lower back and looked at the nurse, trying to get her to explain more about what's going on.
"I'm gonna call our mom's, okay?" The boy let out in a raspy tone as he got out his phone, knowing Santana really needed hers, Especially if their daughter is officially on her way, no matter how soon it is, they need their family here.
Santana tries to hold it together, for Alexandra, for Finn, but she is terrified. Even as she tries to focus on breathing, on doing what the nurse is telling her, she is struggling, constantly teary, and she can feel the contractions becoming more frequent. The IVs in her arms pinch with her contractions and she is already starting to sweat a little around her temples. She reaches for Finn's hand again, not wanting him to let go of her for a moment when he goes to call her moms, and makes a motion for him to hand her the phone once she can tell he's on the phone with her mother.
Once the phone is in her hand and she hears her mother's voice, anxiously asking her if she is all right, how she is doing, Santana can't even try to hold back her tears any longer. She bursts out crying, clutching the phone to her face almost in a cradle.
"Mami…Mami, I'm not ready. I'm not ready…she's not ready, I'm not ready! I'm scared…Mami, please, I'm scared…"
"Shhh…shhh, my ninita, shh, my baby, it is okay. It is going to be okay, you and the bebe, you are okay. Calmarse, nina, calmarse. Shhh."
She spoke to her softly for a few minutes, assuring her that she was coming, that Santana and Alexandra would both be all right, that the doctors knew what they were doing and how to help. She spoke to her until Santana's sobbing had calmed to quieter occasional sniffs, and then she asked to speak to Finn.
"I love you, carina, so much. I will be here soon."
When Santana finally gave the phone up to Finn, Maribel's words to him are brief.
"Do the best you can to keep her calm, that is so very important now. Stroke her hair, try to make her laugh…tell her stories. No..sing to her, Finn. Ever since she was a little girl, she is with the music…sing to her. I will be here soon."
Mrs. Lopez's voice calms him slightly and he knows he really wants to call his, but he also knew that Santana needed her mom way more than anything else right now. He quickly handed the phone out crying and held her close, listening with his eyes closed and starting to say those prayers he promised that he would.
It was hard to find his voice when the phone was being handed over, but he did his best as he tried to soothe Santana at the same time. Maribel definitely had the best idea and he thanked her for it, letting her know she could call or text him at any time and he'll keep his phone right here to update her and get in touch once she gets here.
He had to call his mom first before anything else, so he kissed Santana's cheek as he did so and ran his hand against her side as he told her Mrs. Lopez will fill her in more and to just get here and he'll text her soon. His main priority was Santana and Alexandra and he knew he had to do just what Maribel said.
After tucking his phone into his pocket, he climbed more into the bed and wrapped his arms around Santana, holding her into his chest as he kissed the top of her head softly.
"I got sunshine…on a cloudy day. When it's cold outside, I got the month of May," Finn began with a sniffle, singing the first song he ever had to Alexandra and her during her pregnancy. He knew they needed a distraction and he hoped this song was enough to think about how strong their daughter really is and no matter what, their girl will be okay and make things better.
Santana leans back into Finn, resting her head against his shoulder. She grips his hands hard as she tries to focus on his voice, the words of his song. As the nurse continues to monitor her vital signs, giving her water occasionally, she continues to ask her questions anxiously, wanting to know how long it's going to be, how long they can hold it off. On one hand she doesn't want to be in this anxiety and pain for so long; on the other hand she wants to hold off having Alexandra as long as possible.
When the nurse informs her they're going to try to stretch it out for as long as they can, maybe even 24 hours, to give time for the cortisteroids in the IV to affect Alexandra as much as they can, Santana almost whimpers, but nods. She squeezes Finn's hands hard and prays her mother will arrive soon.
Finn doesn't understand how they can prolong it for 24 hours and can't for like, 24 days but he tries not to ask too many questions. The last thing he wants is to get Santana all worked up and her body language and tone already lets him know how scared and upset she is already. He hopes his singing can help her some, at least to get some rest before she has to deliver Alexandra.
His lips brush to her cheek as he interlaces their fingers. "Your mom and mine are going to be on the first flight here, it'll only be a few hours at most," He whispered to her lowly, still laying in the bed with her. "I still promise you everything will be okay. I'm going to make sure of it,San."
It seems to Santana an eternity before her mother arrives. It is just under three hours, but during this time her contractions seem to be getting more frequent and more painful, lasting longer as well. She is squeezing Finn's arms hard, whimpering, begging him to make it stop over and over when her mother comes into the room, Carol on her heels.
Maribel has only eyes for her daughter, ignoring the doctor leaning over her IV as she comes to her side, reaching out to embrace her. Santana reaches up with a near panicky grasping, once more sobbing loudly as she calls out to her.
"Mami…Mami…"
She sounds like a young child, and her mother responds to her like she is one. Holding her the best she can manage for a few moments, so she is sandwiched between her and Finn, she rocks her, stroking back her sweaty hair, kissing her face.
"Shh, shh, I am here, mija, I am here. I am here and I will not leave, Finn will not leave, Carol will not leave. We are here."
