Weirdness chapter 29

THE NINJA'S GO MUSHROOM PICKING

A/N- My gosh, how long has it been since I updated my 1st story? Well, I have been busy with my forum. If anyone wants to join it's on my profile ;)

This chapter is brought to you by 'Ninja Nonsense'


"Ah, what a beautiful autum day." Naruto said as he and Sasuke stared out at the village from atop the Hokage stone faces.

"Yeah, after that typhoon, everything looks so beautiful." Sasuke agreed.

"Do re mi fa so la ti do!" Naruto sang out of random.

"La la la la la." Sasuke sang back.

"La la la la la." Naruto joined him as they both swayed back in forth.

"So, what should we do on a beautiful day like this?" Sasuke asked Naruto.

"Relax!" Naruto said and fell back onto a random pillow that was behind him. "I'm just going to sit around all day and relax. Hm? Where are you guys going?" He asked as he saw Sasuke, Shikamaru, Kiba and Lee walking out with back-packs on.

"We're gonna go out for a hike." Sasuke said.

"It's fall so we're gonna go out mushroom picking." Shikamaru continued.

"Mushroom picking?!" Naruto gasped. He walked over to the others. "Now hold on just a minuet my naive young children." He said as he put his hand up. He pointed at them. "Listen up! Mushroom picking is extremely dangerous for novices like you guys!" He yelled at he poked Shikamaru. "Do you even know how to tell if a mushroom is poisoness or not? Do you? Huh? Huh? Do you? Look at this!" He said as he pulled a mushroom out of nowhere. "Is this one poisoness?"

"Well, uh, it's a shitaki mushroom so, it's probably harmless." Shikamaru said quickly.

"Yeah! I think so too!" Sasuke agreed. Naruto laughed evilly. He put the mushroom down his pants.

"Now do you wanna eat the shitaki?" He asked. He pulled it out of his pants. "Hmmm?"

"My God is poisoness!" Shikamaru yelled.

"It- it- it- it-... wahhhhhh!" Sasuke cried and both him and Shikamaru covered their eyes.

"Augh, it's makin' me sick! Augh it's so disgustiing!"

"Y-y-y- yeah I think so too!" Sasuke cried in a high pitched voice.

"Now do you understand? In the mountains, if you let your guard down even for a second, this is what can happen." Naruto said.

"I'll never doubt you again!" Lee cried. Kiba turned to Lee.

"Are you serious?" He asked.

"Oh, it's too bad Kakashi's not here." Naruto said. "It would be incredibly valuable for him to learn about the harsh realities of mother nature." Naruto said as he scratched his nose.

"But you really want is to make him embarrassed!" Kiba said.

"Ummm, Kakashi not around, He already left to go mushroom picking with Sakura and Iruka." Sasuke said.

"Well then what are we waiting for?!" Naruto yelled pointing at the forest with the shitaki mushroom. "Let's go my elite ninja rescue command!"

"Yeah!" They all yelled.

"With God's speed my children." Naruto said as he kissed the shitaki mushroom.

"Ewwwww..." All the others said.

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"I found some shimenji mushrooms." Kakashi said.

"That's great! I found a bunch over here too! See?" Sakura said as see pointed to a large patch of the little mushrooms.

"Wow, there sure are allot..." Kakashi stared in awe.

"Hey you two! I found a really pretty mushroom over here!" Iruka called. "See?" He said as he held out a red mushroom with white spots.

"Iruka... I..." Kakahsi said as he backed away and pointed at the mushroom. "I think that's a-"

"A poisoness mushroom. For sure." Sakura finished for him.

"Ah!" Iruka said and dropped the mushroom. Sakura and Kakashi laughed at him. "It's so pretty out here, isn't it great not having Naruto around the mess everything up?" Iruka asked.

"Yeah I-" Sakura began, and turned after she heard something behind her. Naruto was sitting on the ground eating all the mushrooms that she'd gathered.

"On no! Caught in the act!" He said and ate all the mushrooms at once. While the Kakashi, Sakura and Iruka stared in fright.

"Naruto! You all made out out here!" Kakashi said, overly-optimistic.

"Ha ha! So we finally meet princesses!" Naruto said to Kakashi, Sakura and Iruka as he threw Sakura's empty mushroom basket away. "I can't beleive how much trouble you've caused me! You will have to be punished." He said in a deathly tone. "Hey Iruka! If I were you I'd stop picking all these poisoness mushrooms." Naruto said as he poked Iruka. "I'm afraid you don't have the skill. Fortunately now that I'm here I'll be able to keep you from making any further foolish mistakes."

"You only ate harmless shimenji mushrooms!" Iruka yelled at Naruto.

"However, now that we're here we'll be able to protect you foolish girls." Naruto turned to see Sasuke eating the poisoness mushroom that Iruka found earlier. "Sasuke!"

"Hmmm, it's totally harmless. Completly eatable in fact." Sasuke said as he turned away.

"Huh?" Kakashi, Sakura and Iruka all said in unison. Sasuke turned back around, his eyes were all red.

"By the way captain, I think we're about to be pulled into Jupiter's gravitational field!" Sasuke stated.

"I repeat, huh?" Sakura said. Sasuke grabbed his head and started to sway back and forth.

"We're heading for the sun! We have to initiate plan B! Fire the ripple cannon!" He yelled. The Shikamaru, Lee and Kiba ate a poisoness mushroom too. Sasuke continued to panic. Kiba was hugging a tree. Lee was dancing like a monkey. And Shikamaru was dancing with two more poisoness mushrooms.

"Hey! You're turning purple!" Shikamaru yelled out of nowhere. "Look at the stripe on your mouth! Hahahahahahahahaha!" He yelled. "Ah! No! I don't wanna wear the sailor suit!"

"All of them are holusionating!" Kakashi said.

"Well actually they act like that normally." Naruto said. Iruka began poking him with a stick.

"Naruto! Every time you show up everything goes terribly wrong! Will you just get out of here!" Iruka yelled. "Hey are you even listening?!" He asked Naruto, who was now eating the poisoness mushrooms. "Uhhh, Naruto?" Naruto screeched a battle cry and pulled the top of a giant mushroom on his head so he looked like that little thing that always helps Mario and Luigi, Toad.

"Come! Eat one of these delicious mushrooms and be one of us! Jump into my arms an I'll melt your hearts!" Naruto yelled at Kakashi and Sakura, who looked terrified.

"Oh no, he' seems to be acting a little strange too!" Sakura said.

"It looks like he ate some of those poisoness mushrooms as well!" Kakashi said.

"Stand back ladies!" Shikamaru said as he, Sasuke, Kiba, and Lee jumped in front of the other three.

"Leave him to us!" Sasuke said.

"Sasuke! Did the poison from the mushrooms ware off?" Kakashi asked.

"Forget about that! The mushroom rice is ready!" Naruto said as he held out a ball of rice, packed with he poisoness mushrooms.

"All right! Thanks for the food!" Sasuke, Kiba, Shikamaru and Lee yelled as they ate the mushroom rice. When they were done, mushroom hats appeared on their heads as well. Sakura, Iruka and Kakashi all screamed like little girls as they ran away from the others who were chasing them with bowls of mushroom rice.

"Come on! Be one of us!" Shikamaru yelled.

"Join our mushroom love research group!" Sasuke yelled.

"C'mon baby, don't you wanna talk about mushroom love?! It's a beautiful thing!" Kiba called to them.

"Stop it!" Sakura yelled, as she and the others kept running away from the crazy people with mushrooms on their heads.