Meyrin yawned and stretched as she looked at the screen at her station. Despite being heavily battered in the fight with Cherubim, Minerva was slowly making its way toward Gibraltar on autopilot and that leave most of its bridge crew without anything to do. Out of boredom, she surfed the Internet, realizing that she could land in hot water if she was caught doing so. Accessing information networks outside the ship was prohibited as it could jeopardize the ship's network security. But Meyrin, aside from being an information expert was also a skilled network security maintainer. As such, she could easily detect and react to possible threats. Of course, her skills also allowed her to erase all traces of her accessing the outside networks.

She looked at her watch. It was already past her duty time. Getting up, she wondered what she should do. Deciding that perhaps she could go and annoy her sister, she set out in search of Lunamaria. She passed a couple of female technicians when her sharp hearing caught their conversation.

"Have you heard about the latest rumor?" one of them said.

"Which one?" another one asked.

"About Commander Athrun"

"What about him?"

"I heard that he slept with another pilot"

"WHAT?" The girl shrieked.

"Shh…" The technician looked around.

"But… but… I was hoping that he's available…"

"It's just a rumor though. Come, let's go to somewhere safe and I'll tell you about the details" she continued as they walked away.

If the technicians looked at Meyrin, they would have been surprised by her pale face.


Athrun was walking along the corridor, arms crossed and deep in thought. He had a lot on his mind lately, from him fighting against Kira to the kiss he shared with Lunamaria. Unconsciously, his hand moved to his mouth again. Although the kiss did make him forget about the personal problem he was facing at that time, it actually brought more problems than solve them. He would have put the matter behind him, but it seemed to him that Lunamaria has been avoiding him ever since day they had kissed.

He had to admit that the kiss was nice, but he felt guilty for enjoying it as it made him feel that he was cheating on Cagalli.

But the kiss was still nice, though.

"Off in the La La Land again, Commander?" a boyish voice from behind broke him out of his train of thought.

He turned his head to the back. "Oh, it's you, Shinn"

Shinn was looking at him with an unreadable expression.

Athrun noticed that the pilot in front of him had his hands inside his pockets. At that sight, Athrun relaxed a bit. At least Shinn wasn't showing any sign of wanting to fight him. He only let out a thin lipped smile, as he didn't want Shinn to mistake it as an insult. "So, how can I help you?"

Shinn let out a long breath. "Commander, can I talk to you in private?"

"Sure, as long as you're not going to call me by that name"

A few minutes later, they arrived at the observation deck of Minerva. The sea was calm as the damaged ship continued with its journey, probably a good omen compared to the series of bad lucks the ship has been having lately. Athrun, with his hands on the deck's railing, looked at a flight of seagulls flying over head. "We'll reach land soon" he said. When he didn't receive any reply from Shinn, he glanced at him only to see that the boy was watching the damaged parts of the ship silently. He looked back toward the seagulls, leaving Shinn with his own thoughts.

Five minutes later, Shinn broke the silence between them. "The ship's in a very bad condition, isn't it?"

Despite knowing that Shinn couldn't see him, Athrun nodded. "Yes. But it's nothing our guys couldn't fix"

Shinn was quiet again for a moment. "I'm sorry"

"Excuse me?"

Shinn bowed toward. "I'm sorry for being a jerk that day. I'm sorry for disobeying your order. If I listened to what you said, perhaps this ship wouldn't be in such a sorry state"

Athrun leaned on the railing as he didn't want Shinn to see a smile on his face. "May I know who are you and what you have done with the real Shinn?"

Shinn made a huffing sound. "Dammit, it's already hard for me to apologize without you having fun at my expense!"

Athrun chuckled. "I was just joking. You don't have to be so tense about it"

"Yeah, right" Shinn moved next to him. They continued to stare toward the ocean together for a long time. Finally, he continued, "Actually, Freedom was there when my family perished"

"And you blame the pilot for killing your family?"

"In a way, yes. I don't know who was the one firing the shot, as there a few of them fighting that time. However, it's a fact that they were there at that time" He glanced at Athrun. "All I can say is that Justice weren't there"

"That's why you can still talk to me?"

Shinn nodded. "I couldn't simply forgive them. What happened that that has been etched in my mind" Shinn had a forlorn look on his face as he stared ahead. "You know, things could have been different if they weren't there at that time. Perhaps my family is still alive and I would still be in ORB, living under the big illusion that ORB would be okay, as long as it remain neutral. A big, fat lie that Nuzumi asshole said"

"I see" Athrun said while supporting his chin on his palm. He didn't feel comfortable hearing Shinn lambasting Cagalli's father, but he had to hear the other man' side of the story. "And why did you say that Attha killed your family?"

"Because it was his shit of an idea to simply defend the island instead of actively protecting it by striking at the Earth Alliance fleet at that time"

"ORB was trying to be neutral, Shinn"

Shinn turned to glare at Athrun but managed to cool down and looked to the front again. "Let's see you trying to be 'neutral' when I try to punch you again in the future," he snorted. "That kind of reasoning is the stupidest and most foolish idea I've ever heard. Hell, he even tops Djibril in the stupidity department"

"Shinn…" Athrun said, warning evident in his tone and fists clenched.

Shinn didn't look at him. "If you want to punch me, go ahead and do it. I thought that you can be 'neutral' enough to hear my opinion on that man"

Realizing that Shinn had a point, Athrun shook his head, trying to control his own feeling. "Is that why you hate the Attha family so much?"

"I despise him very much. I didn't realize at that time, but he kept making one stupid mistake after another that I'm ashamed to admit that I came from ORB. Another one example of his shinning moment of stupidity will be him blowing up the mass driver"

"He did it so that the Earth Alliance wouldn't be able to use it"

"Hah! And did the Earth Alliance leave quietly after it blew up? If you don't recall what happened, let me tell you something. They didn't. And guess what happened to the refugees that didn't get away in time. The fucking bastards took it out on them. And where is our ever wise leader when that happened? Somewhere in hell, I hope. And why is that? It's because he blew himself up along with the parliament members. Selfish bitch" Shinn chuckled mirthlessly.

"What he did wasn't selfish, but noble, Shinn"

"Oh, let me admit, the sacrifice does seem noble to many people. But to me, that is just a coward's way out of responsibility. He knew that he couldn't face the nation after he had screwed it with his hogwash principles. Fucking retard" Shinn turned again toward Athrun, his flashed red with anger. It was obvious that he hated Uzumi with a vengeance. "You want noble? A noble thing to do would have been to face up to the consequence of his act and perhaps help in rebuilding the nation after the war. That's a noble thing to do, Athrun. Do we see that goat doing it? No. Being a 'great' man that he was, he blew himself up and thanks to his 'noble' act, the present ORB parliament is filled with morons, idiots and LOGOS lackeys"

Athrun didn't knew what to say but it seemed that Shinn seem to take the matter about what happened to ORB personally. "Deep down, you care about ORB, don't you?"

The question caught the younger man off guard and he was silent

"That's why you're telling me about all of its faults. If you really don't give a damn about it you wouldn't be so pissed off by what happened recently" Athrun said, finishing his analysis of Shinn. He then waited for a response.

After a while, Shinn began to laugh bitterly. "You're right. Despite the crappy and shitty leaders like Uzumi and Yona, I still care about that country. It was my family's home, after all. But that doesn't mean that I will wait stupidly for any ORB pilot to shoot me down in the battle just because Djibril told him to do so. Ah, to think that I used to look up to the old fart. How times has changed"

"How about you Shinn?"

Shinn gave him a questioning look.

"You said that Uzumi is a coward for killing himself rather than atone for his decision. That maybe true, Shinn, but how about you? You said that he had abandon ORB…"

"He did"

"Yes, but how about you Shinn? Despite the country's faults, Shinn, would you just abandon it? Or will you come back to it after the war ends, to help in the restoration?"

"Why should I?"

"Just few seconds ago, you said that you still care for it. But do you care enough not to abandon it; to protect it when the time comes?"

Shinn had to look away. "I don't know"

Athrun sighed. "Then until you do, you can't say that you're any different. I joined ZAFT to protect PLANT so that there wouldn't be another tragedy like Junius 7. Despite being in ORB for the past few years, I still thought about my homeland from time to time. Do you remember when you asked me about why I'm in ORB?"

"Yeah" Shinn said, still looking away.

"At that time, I can't answer you because I don't know the answer myself. But if you ask me now why am I here now…"

Shinn turned back to him. "You're here to protect PLANTs. Yeah, that's okay with you since PLANTs don't screw you up"

"Places cannot screw people; people screw other people. Don't let your hatred over Nuzumi to influence you on other matters pertaining to ORB"

"So you're telling me it is okay to hate him as long as I don't hate ORB?"

"No. I can't tell you that. That's your call. But at least think about it"

The boy looked at the sky, thinking. "But I think it's already too late for me. I have killed many of them. I can already be considered a traitor"

"Maybe that's what Nuzumi thought when he blew himself up"

"Don't compare me with him!"

"I'm not. I'm just pointing out that you're in a similar situation. Like you said, because he blew himself up, he can't help in the restoration of ORB. But you can still do it, if you really want to"

Shinn gave Athrun a hard look. Then a genuine smile appeared on his face as he extended his hand to Athrun. "I guess you're right. I can't promise you anything since it's my call after all, but I'll think about it. I want to thank you for listening to my problems and ranting"

Smiling, Athrun took his hand and shook it. "It's my pleasure"

"As much as I hate to admit this, you're like a big brother that I've never had. You're supportive," he winced, "but wouldn't take bullshits from me"

"And you fill in the role of a brat of a brother that I've never had just nicely"

"HEY!"

"Kidding"

"Whatever. Well, I've got to be going" Shinn was about to leave the place when he cursed. "Damn!"

"What's wrong?"

"Something entered my left eye" Shinn said as he rubbed it.

"Don't rub it"

"It itches!"

Sometime it was exactly the Coordinators' strengths that became their weaknesses. Although they have more sensitive eyes and thus would be able to view things better, the sensitivity came with a price. Their eyes were more sensitive to foreign objects entering them.

"Let me try to blow it out of your eyes" Athrun said as he leaned and blew gently over Shinn's eye. "Better?"

"Yeah. I can feel it moving"

Athrun blew it again.

"I'm okay now," Shinn said. "Thanks"

"Good" Athrun said as he straightened up. It was then he saw Meyrin was looking at the two of them with a shocked look, mouth gapping. "Meyrin?"

Meyrin closed her mouth and looked down. "It's okay… I understand"

"Huh?"

She raised her head and tried to smile but it didn't come out as she wanted it to be. "I don't think it's a bad thing, really"

"What are you talking about Meyrin?"

"All this time, I should have notice the rather bright red color scheme on your mobile suits… And you always seem a bit too gentlemanly and polite to women…"

Athrun's eyes widened. "Wait. This is not…"

She clasped a hand over her breast. "It's okay. I think it doesn't matter. What matter is that the two of you are happy with each other. Don't worry about me, I'll keep your secret" She then turned and ran inside.

"Meyrin, wait!" He held out his hand but she had already gone. Athrun stared at the opened door. Shinn's laughed broke him out of his reverie. "What's so funny?"

"Looks like Meyrin thinks that you're gay, Athrun," Shinn said, chuckling,

"You must help me explain it to her"

"Why should I? I can already picture it now, 'The famed Athrun Zala seeks a man's hand in wedding'"

"You're an IDIOT! If she thinks that I'm a gay, what does that make you?"

"Huh?" Shinn uttered intelligently.

"She found us just now. US! As in 'you and me'"

"You mean…"

"YES! She thought that I was making out with you!"

"SHIT!" Shinn turned and dashed inside, in pursuit of Meyrin


"Hey, don't touch that!" Terrence cautioned the ORB pilot, a cute looking brunette.

"Why?" she asked. "It's just a paper flower"

"Ezra, I heard that you were knocked out by tranquilizer. Touch that thing and maybe the next time maybe you would get industrial strength arsenic instead"

She quickly withdrew away her hand that wanted to take the paper flower that was lying on a table. "It's hers?"

Terrence tried to stifle a grin from forming on his face. He was joking about the arsenic part; who knows the female pilot would take it seriously. "Should be"

"So, the Fallen's ace pilot, who fought the legendary Kira Yamato to a standstill in Berlin, a daring woman who drugged me, then somehow managed to board and hijack my mobile armor so that she went out on an unsanctioned rescue party, which in turned caused me to be assigned on sanitary engineering duty, likes origami, a flower origami no less?"

"That's a pretty long sentence you use there, but that's pretty much sums it up"

"Strange"

"Yeah, that's our Fllay. Strange"

Ezra raised her eyebrows. "Do you know why she likes to fold origami flowers?"

"I don't really know the real story about it, but she once told me that whenever she felt insecure or scared, she always folds a paper flower. It made her felt safe"

"Why not plant a real flower? It's more beautiful than a paper flower"

"I asked her about that and she told me that it was exactly the same reason that she likes the paper flower" Terrence folded his arms. "Ah, I don't know what that means but everyone knows that the paper flower couldn't compare with a real one. The color, smell, texture, shape and beauty, the characteristics that make a natural flower, aren't there on a paper flower. Of course, I'm willing to concede that it lasts longer"

"A paper flower is like a monochrome flower, without the natural shades," Ezra commented. "And it doesn't really last that long"

"That's what I told her. And you know what she told me recently? She feels that her life is similar to the paper flower" Terrence kept quiet for a moment and was about to continue when the computer next to him beeped. He walked toward it and typed something, smiling. "After all this time, he finally replies to my message."

"Who?"

"Just an email friend from Burgundy"

Ezra growled. "Don't you have anything else to do? We are in the middle of a war here"

"Hey! Just because we're at war doesn't mean we have to forsake everything else. Understanding each other is important to, you know. We make peace and learn to live together with each other. The Naturals have to learn many Coordinators were not born because they wanted to; the first generation Coordinators have Natural parents. At the same time, the Coordinators cannot remain in their so-called 'heaven'. That's why I'm here"

"I've heard from others that you're a sex maniac and just wanted to get into the Natural women's bed"

He laughed. "Oh great, someone got to you before me. It's okay, you can go and ask anyone whom I've slept with whether I'm gentle in bed or not"

"And who would that be?"

Terrence smiled. "Why don't you ask the people who told you about me being a pervert?" He beckoned toward. "Would you like to see video from Fallen's black box? I've wanted to access it ever since Berlin but with so many things happening, it slipped off my mind"

Ezra moved next to him and watched the screen. She couldn't believe her eyes. "Her reaction is very fast"

"Not surprising. Some Naturals are known to have faster psychomotor response than Coordinators"

She saw Fllay making a hand signal. "She prays while fighting?"

"Actually, that is one of her triggers"

"Triggers?"

Terrence looked at the woman next to him. "The Extended laboratories have been experimenting on this kind of respond triggering. When she made a certain signal, it will cause her body to respond accordingly. For example, the one you just saw now is what I would call 'overclocking'. The signal would force her body to respond at extremely higher speed, but at the cost of shortened fighting duration. I'm not sure about other signals, but I heard Sammy saying about how Fllay have a block signal that dampens her emotive functions"

"As in killing her emotions?"

"The emotions are still there and she felt it, but physically, she seems like a bit heartless or unemotional" Terrence looked back at the screen and was caught by what he saw. He quickly entered some commands and the computer processed what he was watching and presented him with a new one. He was quiet for a long time until he continued silently, "Have you heard about SEED?"

"I've heard it from Dr. Erica. Superior Evolutionary Element Destined-factor. It's believed that people with SEEDS will determine the course of human evolution. It was said that the people with SEED ability are able to think faster and react better to situations. However, the theory is largely unproven"

"So, have you heard about APEX?"

"I've heard it's being mention, but I don't know about it"

"APEX, an acronym for Alternate Path Evolutionary X-factor, is believed to be another possible permutation of humankind's evolution. While SEED is attributed to the higher brain domain, APEX was basically another kind of SEED that operated on instinctive level. I believe that APEX was more likely to be found on Naturals than Coordinators as it's caused by bizarre gene mutation. Coordinators, due to their 'perfect' gene blueprint, have a very low chance of having the gene.

"So what's the difference between APEX and SEED?"

"I'm not sure. But it seems that an APEX carrier has a higher regenerating ability, ability to handle very high stress, ability to sense people around and faster reflex. In fact, he can be more than a match for a Coordinator in battle" He smiled. "Although going by the definition, it sounds as if I'm describing a German Shepherd"

"But that sounds as if it's only good for fighting"

"Well, yeah, and maybe that's how the Berserker myth comes from. After all, APEX is called as SEED's 'evil' counterpart"

"How do you distinguish the two?"

"An APEX carrier's irises will turn golden when he's extremely excited or agitated, no matter what is their original color. You know…"

"Yes?"

Terrence closed his eyes, seemingly deep in thought, "Sometimes we think that we know everything about a person; only to be proven wrong in a single step. What an irony when it happens"

"Look, if you think that my judgment will be influenced by what people say, you're wrong. I can form my opinion about you by myself"

He opened an eye. "I wasn't referring to you"


1
Author's note (30 July 2006)

1. Sorry to keep all of you waiting, but I have a statistic paper and since I have to fork out a month's salary to pay for the course, well, unevitably it will take precedence to all other things I am doing.

2. Some of you would have expected more of Kira and Fllay's interaction in this chapter. Unfortunately for you, I do like being a tease. Apart from that, I do want to resolve the issue between Athrun and Shinn first. In my opinion, the director of Gundam Seed and the script's writer (the whatever his name and his wife) originally wanted to Shinn and Athrun to be like protege and mentor kind of relationship. However, the two of them (the director and the writer) are quite known to produce excellent stories, only to have them degenerate toward the end. So... I guess, I'll put in my opinion of 'what should have been'.

3. Shinn's opinion about Nuzumi is rather harsh, but when I think about what he would have felt, I guess he might have feel it that way. In fact, when I write his part, I could feel anger building in me over Nuzumi's action. Strange. I don't know whether among all of you readers is a Nuzumi fan, but this chapter is my take on why Shinn hates Attha very much.