Tuta looked aghast, at what had been his clean infirmary. Actually this had happened before, many times, considering he had three infirmary beds in a castle at war, not to mention the plays that had occasionally left the entire castle in bed. Nonetheless, cramming Percival, Borus, Hugo, Sarah, Luc, Albert, Sasarai, Ceaser, and Thomas into the three beds, was quite a task.

Since Sarah was the only female, she was given a bed to herself. Which left Hugo, Borus, Percival, and Thomas in one bed, and Albert, Luc, Ceaser, and Sasarai in the other. The former was made even more crowded by the normal well wishers, the horde of random Zexan NPC women who were crowded around Percival, and the horde of yaoi fanfiction fans, watching Borus for the slightest hint of homoeroticism.

"Shut up!" Growled Borus, unable to get up to smite the curs.

"No one has said anything." Percival noted.

"Yeah," said Leo, from his vantage at the end of the bed, "We're merely giving each other significant glances and snickering incessantly."

"Leo," Chris recriminated, "your mouth is talking, you might want to look to that."

"Yes, ma'am." Leo said instantly.

"But, Borus," Percival said slyly, "You could deflate rumors by just saying who you like."

"Borus?" Chris asked in all innocence, "Why are you turning red?"

"This is terrible." Tuta frowned at the damage, from his office.

"To think a patient did this," Mio agreed.

"He belongs in a hospital, getting the treatment and mercy killing he deserves."

"Well, I suppose our new orderly can take care of things, once he gets used to the job." Mio said hopefully.

"…!" Argued Persmerga.

"Yes, Persmerga, the nurse outfit is necessary."

"…!"

"No, we don't have any male uniforms."

"…" Persmerga warned.

"You can't quit just because of a uniform you don't like. Besides, I really do think the pink suits you. The pantyhose wouldn't run if you were more careful anyway."

"…" Persmerga muttered darkly.

Meanwhile, in the theater…

Wizard of Oz

The curtains to the theater opened to a winding road, in fact, a road very similar to the road used in the highwayman, except painted yellow.

"Gee Toto, I don't think we're in Caleria anymore." Geddoe said sullenly.

"Grrrr." Gau said, even more sullenly.

"Once upon a time snicker, there was a young snicker girl," Duke began from the narrator box, grinning even more broadly when Geddoe glared at him. "Who was wisked away from her home and sent to another world with her pet dog, Toto." Snicker

Suddenly, the lights in the room dimmed, an ethereal glow sprung up from center stage, and the Seer Leknaat appeared.

"Fire bringer, I have dire news for you," she began in an echoing, mystical voice.

"No, no, you're ruining the play!" Moaned Nadir.

"You seem to have forgotten that you are in the middle of fighting a war. An evil force, known as "fanfiction" is manipulating your actions. You must…"

Even more suddenly than her arrival, a house fell from the ceiling and crushed her, leaving only her shoes visable. Above the stage, Yuber cackled madly.

"Finally," said Nadir, "random violence that fits the story!"

"The young snicker girl snicker," Duke continued, "was granted the witch's magical ruby slippers, snicker."

"Ruff ruff." Sighed Gau.

"That's right Toto, grave robbing is a victimless crime... Except those aren't ruby slippers."

"If you want costumes, why don't you wear a skirt? Dorthy?" Duke sneared, and laughed.

Geddoe rolled his eyes, "Is the play over yet?"

"Did someone mention a costume?" Lilly asked, poking her head out from behind the stage.

"You don't need a costume to play the wicked bitch Lilly," Reed sneared from the audience.

Lilly glared, "Edge, Sword." She ordered.

Reed suddenly found himself being dragged out of the theater by Edge, still holding the Star Dragon Sword in his other hand.

"You didn't think I'd find a new body guard? HUH?" Lilly shrieked after them.

"IIIII'LLLLBEEEEEEEBAAAAACK!" Reed shouted back, with altogether too many letters and not enough spaces, so that Emily had to go out and give him a fine for each infraction.

"Hey! Lilly complained, "Someone stole my role!"

"Ha! Now you know how it feels!" Reed shouted back through the doorway.

"Well, if you don't need me, I just won't help!" Lilly stuck her nose in the air and turned on her heel.

"That didn't even make sense." Muttered Geddoe.

"The play won't make sense until you get into character, girly." Duke gasped out, between fits of laughter.

"I'm pretty sure we've done the "Duke laughs at me over a costume", thing before too."

Duke collapsed on the floor, "I think pink would be your color!" Now he was laughing so hard that he had trouble breathing.

"Do you really want to see Geddoe's legs?" Nicolas asked from his table.

Duke immediately stopped laughing and shuddered.

"Worst play yet, we didn't even establish a plot."

In the Audience, Mio turned to Tuta, "It's a good thing someone stopped the snarking, he could have suffocated."

Tuta looked back at her thoughtfully, "Snarking at someone in drag can kill? I have an inkling..."

"You stole that line from me." Geddoe commented, from the stage.

"It's nothing cruel, is it?" Mio asked, worried by the look in his eye.

"Get me Arthur, I think I have a story for him." Tuta grinned, much more wickedly than usual.

In the infirmary, after a grizzly battle, the patients had finally managed to fight off the hordes of screaming yaoi angst fangirls from their room, and retired for a night of well-deserved rest and sniping each other.

Then, suddenly, the door banged open, and both Arthur and Kidd raced in, full of excitement.

"I heard from an unknown source that some enemies had put their differences aside and were now in bed together."

"I was told to investigate whether the rumors of two sets of brothers sleeping together was true."

Every occupant of the room looked on in horror.

"That does it!" Borus snarled, "I've had enough of the crappy sexual jokes in this episode! I said I was going to make the theater safe for the children." He ripped his sword from its sheathe, stabbing it in the direction of Arthur and Kidd, and then waving it in the air, as if that could somehow bring him close enough to hit them, without moving his poor crushed bones off the bed.

"So you're making the world safe for children?" Kidd asked?

"YES!"

"By threatening to kill us?"

Borus growled and then sheathed his sword.

"How about you? Do you have anything to say about the rumors?" Kidd asked Sasarai excitedly.

"This is it," Tuta whispered to Mio.

"Someone just kill me! Mercy killing!" Sasarai groaned.

"You called?" asked Yuber brightly.

"Now." Tuta grinned.

"!" Shouted Persmerga dramatically.

The room fell silent.

Except Yuber, who had fallen over laughing.

"You see," Tuta began explaining to Mio, in the typical, sit outside the fight commenting on the fighting style instead of helping cliche style typical in anime, "laughing at a rival who was only implied to be in drag almost caused Duke to suffocate to death. By extrapolation, it can be concluded that seeing a rival who actually is in drag is that much more powerful!"

"..." Persmerga said accusingly.

And Yuber kept laughing.