A/N: This is another fav ahead. Poor E/O. Please people, have faith in me. It gets a little dark for E/O in here, but they come out of it. You saw the first season, clearly they work out whatever I'm putting them through. Take me on some blind faith here...
Olivia's Apartment Building
5:23 p.m.
Elliot circled Olivia's block several times that evening. He hadn't been able to work after his confrontation with Kathy. He'd had too much in his head. Too many thoughts trying to run away with his sanity. So, he found himself outside Liv's apartment just as the sun began to set on the day before the Winter Solstice. It figured he'd be on the brink of losing everything on the longest day of the year.
He buzzed her apartment several times to no avail. He'd sat on the cold front stoop freezing his ass off waiting to slip in behind someone ordering pizza, before the super recognized him and let him in so he could give him shit about Liv's broken door. Elliot took it, because this ass-reaming couldn't be any worse than what he rightfully deserved. He'd been so selfish with Liv before, and now he actually wondered if 'too late' existed in a city as timeless as Manhattan.
Elliot hesitated outside Liv's door, fingering the broken hinges as he tried to think of something to say to her. He wasn't eloquent, at least not when it mattered. Liv's next door neighbor walked by then, but she stopped when she saw Elliot outside Olivia's door.
"Is Olivia okay?" the old woman asked.
"Ma'am, I'm sorry about the noise—"
"Elliot?" she asked, her gray eyebrows knitting together.
"Uh, have we met?"
"No, we haven't met. I'm Mrs. Kennedy" she said.
Elliot was still confused when Mrs. Kennedy smiled at him familiarly, grasping his calloused hand strongly in the folds of her hands.
"Our bedrooms share a wall, Dear. Olivia says your name in her sleep sometimes" she explained.
"Oh," Elliot said, embarrassed when he thought of what else she could have heard.
Mrs. Kennedy smiled once again. "Lover's spat?" she asked.
What? Does nobody on this floor have anything non-Olivia related to do? Elliot cleared his throat, not voicing his true opinions.
"We work together, we're detectives. This last case got a little out of hand is all."
"So a lover's spat?" Mrs. Kennedy reiterated, not giving Elliot a chance to lie.
"Something like that, yeah" he supplied reluctantly.
"Let me give you a piece of advice," Mrs. Kennedy said, her eyes boring into his in a way that reminded him eerily of a female Cragen. "Just tell her the truth. Don't beat around the bush, give her your emotions and hope it doesn't bite you in the ass."
5: 38
"Liv?" Elliot called into the apartment as he eased the door open. He walked into her darkened living room, seeing nothing but the picture of them at the Christmas party discarded carelessly on the floor. Alex could have worked for F.E.M.A with how quickly she had cleared away Hurricane Olivia. He picked up the picture then. They'd been really happy that night. Honestly happy.
"Elliot?" Liv asked, coming out of her bedroom. Her eyes were bloodshot and unfocused and her hand was bandaged. She was wearing the scars of her self-abuse like a pro.
"Liv, I—"
"Elliot, you need to leave," she said, crossing her arms over her chest defensively.
"No Liv, you're going to listen to me" Elliot said, stalking toward her.
She shrunk back from him, gasping just slightly as she raised one hand in front of her. Begging. She didn't want him near her.
"No, Elliot. You're going to leave. You're going to go home and see Kathy and my transfer request will be on Cragen's desk Monday morning. Enjoy your life" Liv deadpanned as she slammed her bedroom door in his face.
He was inches away from breaking it down when he heard three distinct thumps on the wall. Mrs. Kennedy. Nosy woman was trying to help him. He leaned against Liv's door then, feeling the longest day of the season grow longer by the nanosecond.
"Olivia, don't do this" Elliot pleaded.
"Do what Elliot? It was just sex" Olivia called through the door. She knew better. She known so much better before all this.
Elliot slammed his fist against the door, his temper flaring. "It was never just sex Olivia" he called. "Not once. The least you can do is not lie to me!"
"Why? Because you've never lied to me?" Liv stated accusatorially.
"Exactly, Liv" Elliot exclaimed. "I've never lied to you. I've been there when you needed me and I've never once judged you based on one moment!"
"You want a damn parade?" Liv asked, knowing that he deserved so much more for keeping her sane.
"God-damn it, Olivia" Elliot shouted. "I've risked everything—SVU, Kathy, my faith—just to be you. But it's not worth it if you won't get over you to become an us."
"There's no such thing as 'us,' El. This isn't some story book ending. You're mistakes aren't my problems anymore" Liv said.
"Mistakes?" Elliot laughed bitterly. "Is that how you see us?"
"Yes," Liv hissed, throwing the door open. She was crying. Not like last night, not angrily and irrationally, but like someone had just killed her best friend and told her to go cry about it by herself. "That is exactly what we are. A mistake. God's little practical joke," she said, overcome by tears.
"So you just want to be alone?" Elliot asked. "You don't want to try? You don't even want to be partners?"
"I can't" Liv stated. Elliot leaned into her, and Olivia's breath hitched in that funny little way again before she forced herself to resist him. "Don't call Elliot," Liv said, tears streaming over her bruised face. "Don't call or come looking for me. Don't email me in five years wondering how I'm doing. Burn all the pictures of us together," Liv said, pulling the picture of the two of them from his grip and dropping it to the floor. "Go back to Kathy. Make a home with her."
"Olivia, this doesn't have to happen," Elliot said, tears gathering in his own eyes. He felt like a little kid begging his parents for forgiveness, confused that someone he needed so much could hate him so unequivocally.
"I won't call either Elliot, ever" Liv whispered. Elliot grabbed her hand desperately, but her hand slipped from his grasp. She wasn't going to hold on to him. "I won't come looking for you, and I sure as hell won't email you. I won't go to the same supermarket as you, I won't come to your retirement party, I won't keep anything of yours, I'll never work with you again, I'll burn all pictures of us together, and I swear I will never speak of you."
"Olivia, why are you doing this?" Elliot breathed. "I love you."
"That's why I'm doing this Elliot. Now please, get out of my life. That's all I ask."
A/N: Believe it or not, in the first draft of this story where Olivia actually was pregnant (before I decided I didn't want something that A/U) this entire conversation was had in the hospital after Olivia decides to have an abortion. Review.
