Disclaimer: Obviously I am not Stephanie Meyer. I am generously using her characters. All of the dialogue comes directly from the book Twilight or her unpublished manuscript Midnight Sun, thus it all remains the property of Stephanie Meyer as well as the overall plot. This is merely a rewrite from Edward's PoV. That means that everything is hers and I just explored it a bit.
"Distract me, please," I pleaded to Bella as much for her well-being as for mine.
"I'm sorry, what?" she nearly whispered confusion and uncertainty in her tone.
I really didn't have the capacity to be coherent let alone explain what I needed. Keeping the rage at bay was taking tremendous concentration. The memory of Bella's first day in Biology entered my mind. Despite all my intentions, I seemed to continuously put her in danger. To top it off, this time I had no way of fleeing and keeping her safe simultaneously. So, unless I wanted to leave her here by herself in the dark I had to find a way.
"Just prattle about something unimportant until I calm down," I attempted to explain. I hoped she understood me. I couldn't be certain. My whole body, jaw included, was still locked.
I considered taking in a breath wondering if her scent would help or make matters worse. I hadn't been around her since pre-dawn in her room. I decided to wait. The rage still consumed me. It would only take the slightest breeze to push me toward losing the few remnants of coherent thought that I had left. No. I couldn't do that. I had promised to keep her safe. This wasn't bloodlust exactly. Nevertheless, my ability to contain the monster's desire was too tenuous.
Only my concern for her held me in place and forced me to become calmer rather than acting on what I wanted to do. Against my will the scum's thoughts were still flooding into my mind. I didn't have the capacity to do what was necessary in order to send his mind into the background. His disappointment, his anger only fuelled my rage. It was also possible that my rage called on his thoughts. I knew how to find him. It wouldn't be that hard. More images of how I might hunt him entered my mind–the terror on his face that I wanted so badly. I closed my eyes, wishing my memory wasn't so precise, wishing that I could stop this scum's thought from entering my brain. I pinched the bridge of my nose with my thumb and forefinger hoping the motion would aid in my desire to push Bella's needs to the forefront.
"Um." She hesitated–trying to make sure of my request, I imagined. "I'm going to run over Tyler Crowley tomorrow before school?" She said it like she was asking if this is what I needed.
I squeezed my eyes tighter trying to force my brain and body to imagine the scene she was describing. Yes. This was exactly what I needed. Of course Bella would say something incredibly unconventional and unexpected. Like it had been in prior instances, the threat of violence purring from her lips was hilarious–so comical that it was jarring. If it were not for this seething rage pouring through my body I would have laughed.
"Why?" I barked out to force her to speak and to indicate for her to continue with this topic.
"He's telling everyone that he's taking me to prom," she continued with her tiger-kitten outrage. "Either he's insane or he's still trying to make up for almost killing me last … well, you remember it."
Yes, that was it. I needed to remember that. I needed to remember Esme telling me I was a hero. I needed to remember Carlisle telling me that he was proud of me. I needed to remember the feeling I had inside of me when I saved someone rather than took someone's life.
"And he thinks prom," she said the word like it was revolting, "is somehow the correct way to do this."
That peaked my curiosity. I would have to ask her what was so revolting about prom. As before, curiosity soothed the beast I was fighting.
"So I figure if I endanger his life, then we're even, and he can't keep trying to make amends. I don't need enemies."
I couldn't imagine anyone wanting to be Bella's enemy. She was just so kind, but then I remembered Jessica and her internal monologue. Suddenly my brain lost the scum and was listening to Jessica continuing to ponder over her outfit for the dance.
"And maybe Lauren would back off if he left me alone. I might have to total is Sentra, though." She slowed down some perhaps allowing her brain to catch up with her words.
I had observed how humans sometimes do this. Of course I couldn't be sure, since Bella's mind was still closed to me.
"If he doesn't have a ride he can't take anyone to prom …"
I appreciated that her brain could go in a wrong direction and that she caught herself. That was a lovely quality. This also clarified my earlier ponderings regarding if she was humble or simply blind when it came to herself. She obviously didn't see herself very clearly. She could not see the appeal she had for the human boys in the school. If this were the case, would she see my attraction to her? Given her blindness, it seemed unlikely.
Ah, it was working. The baffling processes of her mind were engrossing, stirring my curiosity, and pushing down the rage. I was beginning to gain control over my body and mind, to see something other than vengeance and torture …
She seemed to have lost her steam.
"I heard about that," I told her prompting her to continue.
"You did?" she asked incredulously. Her anger seemingly refuelled.
Why did me hearing about it add fuel to her fire? I was lost again. Bella seemed to continuously do that to me. She seemed to make me feel like I knew nothing at all.
"If he's paralyzed from the neck down, he can't go to the prom, either," she continued with her plans of retribution.
I wished there was some way that I could explain without sounding absolutely diabolical of how her words of mayhem and death threats were exactly what I needed, to ask her to continue them. She picked the perfect medicine. How did she do that? Her words–just sarcasm, in her case, hyperbole–were the precise balm that I needed in this moment. Once again I was reminded what an angel she was. The antitheses to me, but somehow continuing to coax me into being ever so microscopically like Carlisle. Her powers astounded me.
I let out a small amount of my remaining breath, and opened my eyes. I wanted, needed, to see her face, to allow her radiance to flood my eyes and push back the images that kept threatening to overtake me again like a dam at the breach point.
"Better?" she asked timidly full of concern.
I considered. Yes, I was calmer, but not better. Despite the receding rage I still wanted the scum dead for what he had imagined doing to her. Right now I wanted it more than almost anything. Almost. It was the almost that was winning.
"Not really." Seemed like the most honest answer. I leaned my head back against the seat, staring at the ceiling of the car.
I certainly did not deserve this angel who sat next to me trusting me as if I wasn't a monster or a killer. Despite that, her words had reminded me of who I wanted to be. I had spent seven decades trying to show my parents that I wasn't a killer and that I deserved their trust and faith in me. I didn't want to let them down, and I didn't want to kill this beautiful sweet trusting creature next to me. Surely if I returned to that life–the life of a killer–even for just one night I would disappoint my parents and negate the trust Bella had placed in me. Even if I didn't take their blood and have the damning evidence of blazing red eyes would my family see a difference in my continence? Maybe. And Alice would see. I wanted to be more than a monster more than a killer for Bella–someone worthy to be her friend. And Alice had seen with her gift me kill enough humans. I didn't want to subject Alice to more. I was trying to protect my family while show myself that I could be more than my past. I hoped that maybe one day I would be good enough to be the son Esme and Carlisle deserved. But that required me being more like her–discussing murder being nothing more than a hyperbole.
"What's wrong?" she whispered.
How to explain? What words can I use that don't betray my family's secret. If I was going to answer I would need breath, and breathing required taking into my lungs her scrumptious scent. I hoped that I was ready. Slowly and silently I took in air through my nose steadying myself after each small inhalation. There was some similarity I realised between this and last night holding on to the eave of her bedroom window. The raw feeling now clawing my throat reminded me why I would never be worthy of her–she still caused my mouth to fill with venom and images of her taste to dance within me–but it didn't take me over. I couldn't give her the whole truth, but for all that she'd done for me I could give her some of the truth.
"Sometimes I have a problem with my temper, Bella," I said softly hoping the tone would help her not be afraid of the reality of my words.
Bella, you are sitting here with a murderer who is imaging the sweet delectable flavour of your blood rolling down my throat soothing the burn scorching it. I looked at into the darkness remembering my desire for the sun to go away, for the shadows and darkness to return.
"But it wouldn't be helpful for me to turn around and hunt down those …" Just thinking about it almost pulled me from the car. I took a deep breath instead focusing on the burn of my throat and her scent filling my nose and throat. "At least, that's what I'm trying to convince myself."
"Oh."
Now that you know, Bella. Now that you can see just the smallest fraction of what I'm capable of are you going to run away? You should run away. You shouldn't be sitting here with a monster. She said nothing else. How much had she heard in my words? I looked at her face out of the corner of my eye, but her face was unreadable. It was blank. Shock, perhaps? She wasn't screaming. She wasn't desperately trying to get out of the car. Had it dawned on her that perhaps she went from the frying pan to the fire? No. I willed that not to be true. I had resisted her for seven weeks and today with her trusting look burned in my memory would not be the day that I succumbed to the monster. She might not be safe with me. I was dangerous after all, but she was going to be safer here than out there. I continued to war with myself.
"Jessica and Angela will be worried," she said quietly. Her voice was calm, and I was not sure how that could be. Was she in shock? It seemed like the only reasonable explanation. Maybe reality just hadn't sunk in yet. "I was supposed to meet them."
With the mention of Jessica and Angela my mind reached out to theirs. Angela was worried. Jessica was annoyed.
Did Bella want to be away from me? Was she worried about her friends' worry? Was she trying to safely find some way to remove herself from the danger she surely now realised I posed? I started the car and took her back. I knew this was not a good plan for me. The closer we got to town the more the rage returned, and the harder it was to hold on to the parts of myself that her distraction had given me. Surely the righteous thing would be to protect the world from a man like him. He deserved to be punished. He didn't deserve to live. No! I wasn't giving up. I wouldn't leave her alone. With every letter of each word I willed myself to remember that she was my priority. Her safety was more important. I would keep her safe. Yes. I would keep her safe.
I forced myself to focus on Jessica and Angela. We were at the restaurant, but they were no longer inside. They were both worried now and were on their way to go find Bella. They were going to search for her, heading off along the dark street. With the scum out there it was not a good night for them to be wandering–
"How did you know where … " Bella's unfinished question halted my thoughts.
Oh, bugger! I had just yet made another gaffe. I'd been too consumed with controlling my murdering impulses that I forgot to ask where she was supposed to meet her friends.
But, instead of finishing the inquiry and pressing the issue, Bella just shook her head and half-smiled.
What did that mean? My brain suddenly became consumed with attempting to find the answer. This was just the distraction from going on a murderous rampage I needed. Once again I marvelled and how she managed to give me exactly what I needed.
I opened my door.
"What are you doing?" she asked, sounding startled.
Not letting you out of my sight. Not allowing myself to be alone. In that order. "I'm taking you out to dinner."
Friends could do that, especially as she would be going into shock soon. Even if I was leaving tonight, it seemed to be the least that I owed her.
With her scent in the car and her warmth spreading out touching my right side, not to mention her look of utter trust, the very thought of leaving her alone became searingly painful as if my arm was being slowly separated from my shoulder blade but the pain was in the centre of my chest. I was being torn in two. My world wasn't the only world where she was in danger. Wasn't Esme's story or Rosalie's story indicative of this? Perhaps I could respect her no, but remain in the shadows watching her, protecting her from danger including me? At these thoughts the pain receded but not completely.
I looked at the restaurant. This should be interesting. It seemed like another night entirely that I contemplated bringing Alice along and pretending to choose the same restaurant as Bella and her friends by accident. And now, here I was, practically on a date with her. I scolded myself. I hadn't given her the option, and we were friends. This was not a date. What a brute I am!
She already had her door half open before I was half way around–it wasn't usually so frustrating to have to move at an inconspicuous speed–instead of waiting for me to get it for her. Was her behaviour because she wasn't used to being treated like a lady? Was this because she was accustomed to doing things for others? Or was it because she didn't think of me as a gentleman? No matter the reason, this wasn't the place to press the issue. I reversed my direction and went and stood on the sidewalk waiting for her to join me. My anxiety was rising as Jessica and Angela continued toward the dark corner.
"Go stop Jessica and Angela before I have to track them down, too," I ordered quickly. Tracking them down would be the opposite of helpful right now. I was barely holding on to keeping my feet planted. Shockingly, the clear air made it worse. Somehow Bella's scent, despite the burn, had been helping sooth the rage. Without it my hold on myself was tenuous at best. "I don't think I could myself if I ran into your other friend again."
No, I was fairly certain I would not be strong enough for that. And I desperately didn't want to lose control of myself in front of Bella. I wanted to be better than that.
She shuttered, and then quickly collected herself. She took half a step towards them, calling, "Jess! Angela!" in a loud voice for her. Now where was that volume when she was being surrounded?
I listened into their thoughts to make sure they had heard her.
Bella! Oh, she's safe! thought Angela with relief.
Late much? Jessica grumbled, but she too was grateful Bella wasn't lost or hurt. This made me like her a little bit more.
They hurried back, and then stopped a few feet from us, shocked that I was standing beside her.
Uh-uh! Jessica thought, stunned. No freakin' way!
Edward Cullen? Did she go away by herself to find him? But why did she ask about them being out of town if she knew he was here … A brief flash of Bella's mortified expression when she had asked Angela if my family was often absent from school surfaced. No, she couldn't have known. It must be chance, Angela decided.
Jessica's thoughts moved past surprise and onto suspicion. She's been holding out on me.
"Where have you been?" Jessica demanded, staring at Bella, but peeking at me out of the corner of her eye.
"I got lost." Yes, and then were nearly raped and bludgeoned to death. "And then I ran into Edward," Bella explained, waving one hand at me. Her tone was remarkable normal. Like that was truly all that happened.
Attention. She doesn't like attention I reminded myself. She was probably well practiced at minimizing things that had happened to her. That seemed like a fairly reasonable conclusion. The calmness, though, could only be explained by shock.
With my wits about me now and remembering to feign ignorance, I asked, "Would it be all right if I joined you?"
That sounded polite, courteous, gentlemanly, and I had remembered to give them the right to say no. Maybe I had gained some measure of control over my rage.
Holy crap but he's hot! Jessica's thoughts suddenly incoherent.
Angela wasn't much better. Wish we hasn't eaten. Wow. Just. Wow.
Now, why couldn't I do that to Bella? a part of me grumbled. Why did she have to be the one anomaly to everything about me? Then I remembered that I didn't want her to be attracted to me and pushed my whiny thoughts aside.
"Er … sure," Jessica agreed barely breathing.
Angela frowned. "Um, actually, Bella, we already ate while we were waiting," she admitted. "Sorry."
What? Why did you have to say that? I could have eaten again in order to sit next to the hunk that is Edward Cullen. Shut up Angela!
Bella shrugged. So at ease like nothing was amiss, nothing out of the ordinary. Definitely an abnormal response for a human.
"That's fine–I'm not hungry," she stated assuredly.
Was she really not hungry or was she just being kind? My internal sense to protect her, even against herself kicked in. I had already rationalized acting against her wishes twice; it wasn't hard to come to the same conclusion.
"I think you should eat something." I attempted to sound authoritative but not parental.
She should get sugar in her bloodstream. I took in a breath near her to check. It smelled sweet enough as it was, I thought wryly, delicious in fact. The horror was bound to come crashing down around her shortly, and an empty stomach wouldn't help. She was an easy fainter, as I knew from experience.
These girls weren't in danger of mayhem stalking them, but still it would upset Bella if something were to happen to them. And I would rather be alone with Bella–as long as she was willing to be alone with me. This would require giving her choice, which I wasn't sure she was of sound mind to do. It seemed more prudent to ask her girlfriends.
"Do you mind if I drive Bella home tonight? That way you won't have to wait while she eats."
Yes, much better. Polite. Gentlemanly. Displays consideration. And gave the option to say no.
"Uh, no problem, I guess …" Jessica stared in the direction of Bella, looking for some sign that this was what she wanted.
Yes. This was what I needed. I was glad Jessica was checking in with Bella and not just making the decision for her.
I want to stay … but she probably wants him to herself. Who wouldn't?
I intently watched Jessica's eyes to see through their reflection what she might see as Bella's response. I watched as Bella winked.
Bella winked? What did that mean? Had she said something to Jessica while I had been away? My mind was swimming.
"Okay," Angela said quickly.
She must have seen Bella's reaction as well, but I hadn't been paying as much attention to her. She seemed to be in a hurry to get out of the way if that was what Bella wanted. And it seemed that both girls got the impression that was what Bella wanted. We had been attempting friendship after all. A small part of myself wondered if Bella had inadvertently given me a proper yes. Well, I reasoned, it matched her request of friendship.
I tried to determine if there was anyway Bella could have been unduly influenced by my persuasive abilities. It seemed that the opposite was the case here. I had been the opposite of persuasive. A very small part of my brain wondered if perhaps she was saying yes to more than just friendship. Was it possible that I had been wrong that she would say yes to me? I immediately dislodged the thought. No, we were friends going to eat. That was all.
"See you tomorrow, Bella … Edward," Angela continued. She struggled to say my name in a casual tone.
Then she grabbed Jessica's hand and began towing her away.
I would definitely have to find some way to thank Angela.
Jessica's car was close by and in a bright circle of light cast by the streetlamp. Bella watched them carefully, a little crease of concern between her eyes until they got in the car. So, she must be aware of the danger she had been in. Jessica waved as she drove away, and Bella waved back. It wasn't until the car disappeared that she took a deep breath and turned to look up at me.
"Honestly, I'm not hungry," she implored.
Why had she waited for them to be gone before speaking to me directly? It seemed, unbelievable, that she wanted to be alone with me after witnessing my homicidal rage. Here she stood after indicating to her friends that she was saying yes. I was confounded. Either way, I was going to get food and liquid into her system.
"Humour me."
I held the restaurant door open for her and waited.
She sighed with resignation and walked through. Did she feel like I was forcing her hand even though she had indicated yes? If that was the case, why indicate yes? I had clearly mentioned food. It seemed like I was clear on my intention for her to eat. Yet another thing about Bella that was lost on me.
I walked beside her to the podium where the hostess waited. Bella still seemed calm and entirely self-possessed. It unnerved me. I wanted to touch her hand, her forehead to check her temperature, to calm my nerves that she was all right. Friends don't do that, I told myself. Either way my frigged hands would repulse her, as they had before, for good reason. I was not warm. I was not like her. She should fear my touch, but she didn't seem to fear me. Instead she had trusted me. What a confusing creature!
Oh, my, my, the hostess's rather loud mental voice intruded into my consciousness. I really disliked it when people yelled like that. It made it very difficult to keep them in the background. My, oh my.
It seemed to be my night to turn heads. Or was I only noticing because I was concerned about Bella's safety. Certainly my allure wasn't as dangerous as other parts of me, but it was there to bring in prey. We were always attractive to our prey. I didn't want Bella to be my prey. Usually–unless it was with people like Jessica Stanley or Shelly Cope where there was a constant repetition to dull the horror–the fear usually kicked in fairly quickly after the initial attraction …
"A table for two?" I prompted when the hostess appeared mute smiling like a Chester cat.
"Oh, er, yes. Welcome to La Bella Italia." Mmm! What a voice! "Please follow me." Her thoughts were preoccupied–calculating. I was waiting for the terror to set in.
Maybe she's his cousin. She couldn't be his sister, they don't look anything alike. But family, definitely. He can't be with her.
Human eyes were so clouded; they saw nothing clearly. She saw my physical lures–snares for prey–so attractive, but could not see the soft perfection of the girl beside me. She jumped to a familial connection due to the physical distance between us rather than a more natural assumption: friends. And still no terror. That really was odd.
Well, no need to help her out, just in case, she reasoned as she led us to a family-sized table in the middle of the most crowded part of the restaurant. Can I give him my number while she's there …? she mused.
I pulled a bill from my pocket. People were inevitable more cooperative when money was involved.
Bella was already beginning to sit without objection. I shook her head at her, and she hesitated, cocking her head to one side with curiosity. Yes, she would be very curious tonight. Why had I not thought about that? I had been so focused on calming my rage and her shock that I hadn't considered what would happen after we sat down. I considered walking out. Unfortunately, that wouldn't solve the reasons why we entered. No, we needed stay and I needed to manage the conversation. Whatever that might look like a crowd was not ideal.
"Perhaps something more private?" I requested, handing the hostess the money.
Her eyes widened in surprise, and then narrowed as her hand clutched around the tip.
"Sure."
She peeked at the bill while she led us around a dividing wall.
Fifty dollars for a better table? Rich too. That makes sense–I bet his jacket cost more than my last paycheck. Damn. Why does he want privacy with her?
She offered us a booth in a quiet corner of the restaurant where no one else would be able to see us. I had no clue what Bella would want from me tonight. Or what I would give her. Either way the further away from possible listening ears the better. How much had Bella guessed? What other faux pas had I made? What explanations of tonight's events had she told herself?
"How's this?" the hostess asked.
It was better. "Perfect," I told her, and feeling slightly annoyed by her restful attitude toward Bella, I smiled widely at her, baring my teeth, letting her see me clearly, hoping the terror would now set in.
Whoa. "Um," she blinked multiple times like she'd seen the sun, "your server will be right out." He can't be real. I must be asleep. Maybe she'll disappear … maybe I'll write my number on his plate in ketchup … She wandered away, listing slightly to the side. Finally I could put her voice back into the background.
That was incredibly odd. She still wasn't frightened even after barring my teeth. I don't think that's ever happened before. I suddenly remembered Emmett's joke in the cafeteria so many weeks ago. I'll bet I could have scared her better than that.
Was I losing my edge? Not that I enjoyed people being terrified of me, but it ensured a safe distance and kept the human population safer. If somehow that wasn't the case anymore, what could that mean for me or for my family? My mind began to wander to memories of how females responded to Carlisle.
"You really shouldn't do that to people," Bella chastised me interrupting my contemplations. "It's hardly fair."
I stared at her critical expression. What did she mean? I hadn't frightened the hostess despite my intentions. I went through all the events that had transpired trying to figure out what she was referring to. Eventually I gave up. "Do what?"
"Dazzle them like that–she's probably hyperventilating in the kitchen right now."
Hmm. Bella was very nearly right. I focused my attention to my hearing, ensuring I wouldn't pick up her thoughts again. The hostess was only semi-coherent at the moment, describing her incorrect assessment of me to her friend on the wait staff.
"Oh, come on," Bella chided me when I didn't answer immediately. "You have to know the effect you have on people."
Yes, they are momentarily stunned and then are terrified. And for good reason. They are our prey. I can hypnotise people like Mrs. Cope to get what I want, but I do that purposefully. Otherwise people are shunned by our otherness. But this is not what Bella was seeing. She saw me as dazzling people.
"I dazzle people?"
That was an interesting way of putting it. It was certainly true for tonight. I wondered if it was only on females. I wondered why the difference …
"You haven't noticed?" drawing me out of my thoughts again, her voice still critical. Did it bother her? "Do you think everybody gets their way so easily?"
No. I know my powers of persuasion, but tonight is different.
"Do I dazzle you?" I voiced my curiosity impulsively, and then the words were out and it as too late to recall them.
I waited and studied her face.
Before I had time to too deeply regret speaking the words aloud she answered, "Frequently." And her cheeks took on a faint pink glow.
I dazzled her. What did that mean? Did I need to be even more careful that I wasn't accidently using my powers of persuasion on her–dazzling her as she said? I thought back to her yeses. I had concluded her yeses were from my lure. Was this her confirmation? I considered the implications. Why, then, if she was aware of the effect, had she requested friendship? I reviewed that conversation. She had requested us to be friends without any dazzling–right then, friends seemed a dazzle-free claim. I was utterly confused.
Someone was coming. Most likely the waitress from the sound of her footsteps.
"Hello," she said. Her thoughts were even more explicit and loud than the hostess.
I focused on Bella in an attempt to tune them out. I watched the blood spread under her skin, noticed not how it made my throat flame, but rather how it brightened her fair face, how it set off the cream of her skin …
The waitress was waiting for something from me. Ah, she'd asked for our drink order. I continued to stare at Bella, and the waitress grudgingly turned to look at her.
"I'll have a coke?" Bella said if asking for approval.
"Two cokes," I amended.
This was a good sign. Thirst–normal, human thirst–was a sign of shock. And the sugar from the soda would be of benefit.
She looked healthy though. More than healthy. She looked radiant. I felt like I was becoming a newborn again. One moment I was in a murderous rage and now I was consumed with my attraction to her.
"What?" she demanded–wondering why I was staring probably.
The waitress had left.
Bella had so distracted me I hadn't noticed. This was the second time. First had been with Emmett, so not too concerning. This time posed much more risk. While that part of my mind worried, another part attempted to find stanza lines that would capture Bella's beauty and my feelings. I chided myself. I had worked on containing this attraction. Romantic acts, no matter how improved from the mental images of what I wanted to do to her body, were beyond the bounds of friendship. We are here as friends, I reminded myself.
"How are you feeling?"
She blinked, surprised by the question. "I'm fine."
I thought about how many times she had said that in the hospital.
"You don't feel dizzy, sick, cold … ?"
I was intently watching her features, listening to her heartbeat, and listening to her breathing.
She was even more confused now. "Should I?"
Yes, Bella, you should. You have to ask? Did you forget so quickly what might have been? Her confusion bemused me.
"Well, I'm actually waiting for you to go into shock." I half-smiled waiting for her denial. She would not want to be taken care of.
It took her a minute to answer me. Her eyes looked slightly unfocused. I recalled that she looked that way sometimes, when I smiled at her. Was she? Dazzled? I listened to her heart rate quicken and her breathing become more shallow. The idea excited me, but the prospect frightened me. I would have to be very careful.
"I don't think that will happen. I've always been very good at repressing unpleasant things," she explained slightly breathless.
Did she have a lot of practice with unpleasant things? I recalled Carlisle's observations about it not being the first time she'd hit her head, and she did seem versatile on how to exit care. These inconsequential observations seemed to take on a new light. Perhaps her life had always been unusually hazardous.
"Just the same. I'll feel better when you have some sugar and food in you."
