A/N

Thanks for the reviews guys, I really appreciate it.

Hope you like the next chapter

Chapter 29

" I love you so much..." JJ whispered.

Emily looked at her and sensed there was a "but" coming, so before the blonde said it, she said it first.

" But?..." Emily whispered back.

JJ looked down and slowly pulled away from the brunette and walked over to the couch. Emily looked down and sighed, then followed JJ to the couch and sat down next to her. JJ looked down at her hands.

" Jennifer.... I... I want to make this work... I want to be with you... I want you..." Emily said softly.

JJ slowly looked up and met her eyes.

" I love you... and I can't stand the thought of losing you... You're all that matters to me..." Emily continued and reached for JJ's hand.

JJ let Emily take her hand, with her other hand she wiped away a tear that escaped her eye and rolled down her cheek.

" Emily..." JJ started but Emily interrupted her.

" Please... let me finish..." Emily pleaded. JJ nodded slowly.

" I don't want to feel this way... I don't want to hide what I'm feeling for you..." Emily said softly as a tear escaped her eye as well.

" I want to say I can see myself walking in a park with you, holding your hand... I want that so much... But I can't say that cause I'm not sure I can... I start to panic just thinking about it... and I hate myself for that. I hate that I'm so weak... I can't say what you want to hear Jennifer... not now... But I hope... someday... I can... Because I can't picture a life without you in it... " Emily finished and tears were now streaming down her face.

JJ cried too as Emily's words went straight into her heart.

Emily slowly got up from the couch and looked down at JJ who met her eyes.

" I'm gonna go now... though all I really want is to hold you and never let you go... But I think maybe you need some time to think... I want to spend the rest of my life loving you Jennifer but this is all I can offer right now and if it's not enough then..." Emily couldn't finish the last sentence. She slowly bent down and kissed JJ on the cheek then she left.

JJ was stunned. She desperately wanted to say something to make Emily stay but it was like she lost her speech. She opened her mouth but not a single sound came out. She looked up and saw her front door close, and Emily was gone. JJ broke down and cried.

Emily ran to her car, tears streaming down her face as she got in to the car and drove off.


Emily threw herself down on the couch as she returned home. This wasn't what she had planned would happen, but she had to tell JJ the truth about what she was feeling and she prayed JJ would accept that that was all she could offer now. As much as she wanted to stay, she knew she needed to give her time. The ball was in JJ's court now and all Emily could do was wait.


JJ didn't know what to do. She was still on the couch, it was like she was frozen to the spot with Emily's words ringing in her head.


Emily hadn't moved from the couch since she got back, she had stopped crying though. It was close to 7 PM and she hadn't had anything to eat since this morning. She slowly got up from the couch and walked into her kitchen. She checked the fridge but there was nothing there she wanted to eat. She didn't really have much of an appetite but she needed to eat something.

Suddenly the door bell rang and Emily ran to the door and flung it open

" Jennifer?!" she said but it wasn't her. It was the other blonde from their team standing outside her door with a confused look on her face.

" Pen, I'm sorry... Hi. Come in" Emily said and let Garcia in.

" Hi yourself. Is something wrong Em? Cause I could leave" Garcia said as she saw how broken the brunette looked.

" No, please stay..." Emily said.

" I know I should have called but I wanted to surprise my two favorite girls with some Indian food and a movie, but if it's a bad time.." Penelope said.

Emily turned around and walked over to the large window in her living room. Penelope watched her and sensed something was up, JJ was apparently not here and Emily was clearly upset though she tried hard not to let it show. Garcia put the bags with take-out and the movies she brought, down on the living room table and slowly walked up to Emily.

" Emily honey, where's JJ?" she asked very softly.

Emily didn't turn around, Garcia could see that the older woman was crying. She hated to see her family upset so without thinking she turned Emily towards her and wrapped her arms around the crying woman and held her tight. Emily couldn't hold it in any longer, she held on to Penelope as she let everything pour out. It broke Penelope's heart seeing Emily like this.

" What happened?" she asked hoping Emily would talk to her.

Emily tried to compose herself, she slowly pulled away from Penelope and looked at her.

" Uhm... can we go and sit down?" Emily asked.

" Sure honey, come here " Garcia said and put her arm around Emily's waist and led her to the couch.

Emily had manage to stop crying and crawled up in the corner of her couch, Garcia took a seat next to her and waited for Emily to speak. Emily thought about what she should say to the blonde tech analyst, she already knew that she and JJ were together but still, it wasn't easy to talk about this, even to Penelope. But knowing the blonde computer wizard the way she did, she knew she wouldn't settle until she knew what had happen so Emily decided to just let it out.

A while later Emily had told Penelope everything and she actually felt completely okay with it. Penelope hadn't said anything while Emily was talking, she just sat and listen.

" I...I couldn't lie to her Pen.... I had to tell her the truth.... Then I just left her... I told her maybe she needed some time to think... It's up to her now..." Emily finished meekly.

Penelope took her hand.

" It was a good thing you told her the truth Em, and really, that was all you could do. I know you don't want to feel this way, and so does JJ. It's gonna be okay Emily" Garcia squeezed her hand.

" I'm not so sure about that..." Emily said softly and looked down.

" I am. It's going to be okay." Penelope said and gave her a smile.

Emily desperately hoped Penelope was right, that everything would be okay though it sure didn't feel like it right now.

" Have you eaten anything at all today?" Garcia asked.

" Just breakfast" Emily said.

" And that was? Coffee?" Garcia asked sensing the brunette agent hadn't really eaten anything proper today.

" And a bagel... but I'm actually not that hungry" Emily confessed.

" Emily Prentiss! Good thing I brought some real food, now let's get some meat on those skinny bones of yours. And you better eat missy!" Garcia said firmly.

" Alright alright... I'll eat" Emily said and manage to give the blonde a smile. She knew better than to argue with one miss Penelope Garcia.


JJ had almost driven herself crazy thinking about what to do. So Emily wasn't ready to display their love for the world and to be honest, neither was JJ. But the difference was she knew she would be ready eventually, Emily didn't. Could she live with that? Could she live with her and Emily's relationship being a secret? Then she asked herself, could she live without Emily? She knew the answer to that before her mind had even formed the question.


Garcia had made Emily eat until she was ready to burst and then some. Finally Emily couldn't eat another bite. Garcia was pleased that she manage to get some food into that thin woman.

" I'm leaving the left overs in your fridge so you have something for tomorrow" Garcia said.

" Thank you Penelope... not just for the food but for... you know..." Emily said.

" I know. And don't you worry my brown eyed girl, everything will turn out right. I know JJ and I know you." Garcia said and smiled.

" Anyway, I'd better get going. We can take a rain check on the movie another night." Garcia said and walked into the hallway to get her jacket. Emily followed her to the door. Penelope gave her friend a hug before she left. Emily returned to the couch and turned the TV on. She was glad Penelope had stopped by, though it didn't exactly take her mind of JJ, it was a nice distraction.


Emily had dozed off on the couch and woke up when she thought she heard a faint knock coming from her door. She sat up and turned off the sound from the TV and listened. Then she heard it again. She got up and walked over to the door, still feeling a bit sleepy. Without looking she opened the door and was chocked to see JJ standing there.

" Jennifer... What " Emily started but was interrupted when JJ's lips came crashing down on hers. Emily instantly kissed her back and pulled her inside and closed the door behind them. JJ pushed Emily back against the wall as she deepened the kiss, her tongue requesting entry. Emily willingly opened her mouth and met JJ's eager tongue with her own kissing her passionately.

Soon the need for air forced them apart and they leaned their foreheads together. JJ slowly pulled back and looked into Emily's eyes for a moment, then she kissed her again, more slowly this time.

" It's enough..." she whispered into Emily's mouth before she slipped her tongue into Emily's mouth and once again deepened the kiss.