Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. The original characters and plot are the property of Stephenie Meyer. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Turn to Stone

By: nikkipattinson

Chapter 28 - Sex

"Love, I would like nothing more than to sit here all night with you in my arms, but I know that you must be hungry. Let's go grab a bite before the movie starts," I say as I pull back from her long enough to see her beautiful face. She nods and gets up from my lap. She holds up a finger and retreats to the bathroom.

She emerges a moment later. "Sorry, I needed to fix my face. I seem to be crying a lot lately," she says with a chuckle.

"There is nothing about your face that needs fixing, Bella. You are perfect. Even after you cry, you look beautiful." I touch her cheek. She leans into my hand and closes her eyes. God, how I want this woman. I lean in and gently kiss her lips. She wraps her arms around me; I take her in mine. I deepen the kiss and she sighs in my mouth. My body is on fire. I lift her feet off the ground and she wraps her legs around my waist. I start to walk us toward her bedroom.

"Bells, I'm home!" Alice yells as she bounces into the apartment. Less than ten seconds later she says, "Shit! I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry...," as she retreats back out the door.

Bella wiggles out of my arms and rushes for the door. She opens it to find Alice standing on the stoop. She's as red as I get when I'm embarrassed. I can't help but laugh. "Alice, it's okay. Come inside. Edward and I are going to get something to eat."

Alice steps past Bella into the apartment. She glares at me. "I didn't see your car." She stomps past me into the kitchen. She gets a beer from the refrigerator. I raise my eyebrows as if to question why the beer. She glares at me again. "I need a drink after that," she says as she takes a long swig of the beverage.

I smile. This is amusing. She's actually uncomfortable. "Sorry," I say as I lean against the door-facing of the kitchen. "I didn't know you'd be coming home at that particular moment." I also hadn't planned on carrying Bella to bed. It was all kind of a spur of the moment thing. Not that I don't want to carry her to bed. I'd like nothing more than to make love to the love of my life, but I want her to be ready. Even if Alice hadn't come in right at that moment, I doubt we would have gotten much further than some heavy petting.

"Um, Edward," Bella says from the door, "where's your car?"

"Right outside, love. I parked next to your car." I suppress my laughter. I know that she's looking for the Volvo.

"Baby," she says, tentatively, "I hate to have to tell you this, but I think your car may have been stolen. There is no Volvo outside. The car parked next to me is a Toyota."

"That's my car," I say matter-of-factly. "I bought it this afternoon."

"You did what!?" Alice exclaims as she almost spits beer all over the kitchen. "Why did you buy another car?"

"I didn't buy 'another' car. I traded the Volvo for the Toyota and then paid the difference with a cashier's check." Bella is staring at me with the cutest confused expression. I walk toward her and kiss her on the tip of her perfect nose.

"Why would you do that?" Alice asks. "Are you insane?"

"I've been getting that question a lot today," I chuckle. Bella is staring at me like I've sprouted a second head. "I'm not insane," I say to her. I turn to Alice. "I'm completely competent. I needed a change. The Volvo carried a lot of bad mojo with it. That car was the first thing I bought with the bonus I received for getting the Cavanaugh acquittal." I look back at Bella. I touch her face. "I'm sorry, love, I should have told you that before. I just couldn't stand driving it anymore. I couldn't stand the thought of you riding in it. I've always thought that the Toyota Avalon was a nice car. Plus, I may be out of a job soon. The Toyota is more economical. Volvos are expensive to keep." I smile down at Bella. She's biting her lower lip and her eyes glisten with tears. "Don't you even start to cry. This is a good thing, Bella. I like this new car. I think you will too. Let's go get something to eat so we can be back for the start of the movie. Alice, can we bring you anything?"

"No, nutjob. I'm meeting Jasper at the rec center to workout. We'll eat after. Enjoy your new toy, crazy man," she says as she goes into her room.

"I'm not crazy," I say as I turn back to Bella.

"I know that," she says. "I feel bad. I feel like you gave up your car for me. You shouldn't have done that, Edward. I know how you love that car."

"I love you more. As a matter of fact, you are the only thing in this world that I love; and you aren't a thing. You're a wonderful, beautiful, intelligent woman, who has stolen my heart and soul." I pause to look at her as she smiles. "That's not right," I say. "You didn't steal them. I gave them to you freely. Take care of them, please."

"If you keep telling me how wonderful and beautiful and intelligent I am, my head won't fit through this door."

"Well, then, I guess I'll just have to get a bigger door installed, won't I? Let's go eat." I escort Bella to the Avalon and open the door for her to get in. She deeply inhales the new car smell and smiles. I walk around to the driver's side to get in. We drive to Lovoy's for Italian before we settle in at her apartment for the Monty Python-a-thon.

~*~*~*~*~

I've spent every night this week with Bella, watching Monty Python. By Thursday, we had seen The Quest for the Holy Grail and Life of Brian… twice... each. It became apparent to both of us that IFC was not planning on showing The Meaning of Life. We began plotting to convince Alice to let us rent it for the Sunday night movie.

I park in front of Bella's apartment on Saturday night to take her to dinner. After Monday, Bella had insisted on cooking. I sort of feel bad when she cooks. I mean, she works in a restaurant. Granted, she doesn't cook the food, but I still don't want her to have to bother with food preparation when she isn't working. Then again, she can really cook! Everything she makes for me is amazing. Jasper and Alice joined us on Wednesday and Thursday. Judging by Jasper's reaction to the food, I don't think Alice is much of a "cooker."

I walk to the front door and knock. Jasper answers. "Hey, Ed." I cringe. He just won't stop!

"Jazz," I say as I walk into the apartment. "Where's my girl?"

"Ah, Alice has 'er imprisoned in the bathroom. Somethin' 'bout a makeover. Bells didn't look pleased. If ya hafta pee, you'll hafta use the bushes outside. Have a seat. The Series is on. I hate both teams, but I decided to pull for the Yankees... much to the chagrin of my Southern sensibilities." I have no earthly idea what he's talking about. It must be written all over my face. Jasper sighs. "Southern boy wantin' a team called the Yankees to win. Civil War? Sound familiar?" A look of recognition spreads across my face. Jasper smiles and shakes his head.

I'm not really a sports guy. I know the Yankees simply because everyone has heard of the Yankees. I try to not seem like a total moron around Jasper, but I think he's picked up on my lack of sports knowledge. He should really hang with Emmett; he's the sports nut. "So, what's the other choice if you don't want to pull for the Yankees?"

Jasper turns to stare at me and then shakes his head. "The Phillies," he says flatly. "Ya really don't keep up with sports, do ya?"

I shake my head and shrug. "You and Emmett would really get along if you two would just hang out some. He's a sports fanatic. He played football, baseball, and basketball in high school. He got his undergrad on a football scholarship. He's really into the shit. I'm sorry. I just don't get it. The only sports I ever play are golf and tennis... occasionally."

"Golf is not a real sport," he says.

I laugh. "Yeah, you and Emmett would be really good friends. He tells me the same thing."

Jasper smirks and shakes his head again as he turns back to the television screen. I try to watch for a while, but it holds no interest for me. I look at my watch. It's getting close to 7:00. I hope Bella and Alice are about finished. I get up and ask Jasper if he wants anything from the kitchen. He says to grab him a beer. I go to the refrigerator and get him a beer and me a soda.

As I'm leaving the kitchen, Bella emerges from the bathroom. My mouth drops open and I nearly drop the drinks. I didn't think she could look more beautiful, but the woman standing before me is a vision. I can't speak, she's so breathtakingly magnificent.

"Are you okay, Edward?" she asks. I can do little more than nod. "Are you breathing?" I shake my head no. I've lost the ability. "You have to breathe, baby, or you'll pass out." I nod and take in a breath... all strawberries and vanilla. I close my eyes to savor the bouquet. When I open them again, Bella is smiling at me and blushing.

I finally find my voice and say, "How do you do it? How do you get more and more beautiful every time I see you? There are no words for how you look tonight."

She blushes even brighter and looks at the floor. I shift Jasper's beer to my arm so I can lift up her chin. She smiles and motions behind her to Alice. "She did it. She's an artist with a make-up brush."

"She never believes me when I tell her that I don't have to do much. She's just naturally pretty," Alice says with a shrug. She walks over to the couch and collapses beside Jasper.

I scowl at her comment. "Calling you merely pretty is an insult," I say softly to my love. "Are you ready?" I ask and she nods. I go back to the kitchen and put the soda back in the refrigerator. Before we walk out the door I give Jasper the beer.

"When are ya gonna give me those lessons?" he asks.

I'm confused. "What are you talking about?"

"The 'Charmin' Lessons.' Every time ya come over here, ya say somethin' so sugary sweet to Bella that I hafta hear 'bout for the rest of the night. Either ya gotta teach me how to do it or I'm gonna hafta kick your ass. Your choice." Alice punches him in the arm, but I think secretly, she wants him to kick my ass.

I just laugh at him. "'Charming' is not something that can be taught, my friend. You are either born with it or you aren't."

"Alright, ass kickin' it is," he says with a smile. "I'll let ya have it next time... when I ain't got a beer waitin' on me." He opens the beer and takes a drink. "You kids have fun... we won't wait up." Alice punches him again as I wrap my arm around Bella's shoulders and walk with her out to my car.

"Um, Edward?" Bella says as I slide into the driver's seat and buckle my seatbelt. "I want to talk to you about something tonight. It's something that's... difficult for me to think about and much more difficult for me to talk about."

"What is it, love?" She looks so uncomfortable. I hate that. I never want her to be uncomfortable with me.

"I don't even know how to bring it up," she mumbles as she looks at her hands that are in her lap.

"Bella," I say, reaching out and taking one of her hands, "you can talk to me about anything. No more hiding things, remember? What is it?"

"Well, um, it's about... it's just that... I think we need.... Crap! I can't do this." She pulls her hand from mine and covers her face with both of her hands.

I've never seen her be this uncomfortable with me before. She actually looks as if she may be sick. "Love, whatever it is, it can't be that bad. I love you. I will support you in anything; no matter what it is. You can trust me to be here for you. I meant it when I promised you that I was here to stay. No matter what it is, we will get through it... together. Please, tell me what's bothering you."

She turns in her seat to face me and says, "It's sex, Edward. I think we need to talk about sex."

I swerve and almost put the car into a power pole. She has just shocked the shit out of me. Where the fuck did that come from!? I regain control of the car and take a breath to clear my head. "Okay.... Um, what do you need to know, Bella?"

"What do you mean by that!?" she says rather loudly.

"I don't know," I whine. "I didn't expect you to say that. I'm kind of rattled right now. Give me a minute. Shit! Sorry." I think I need to pull over and try to regain my composure.

"Edward, are you alright?" she asks.

"Yes... no... I don't know! You kind of caught me off guard." I turn into the parking lot of the restaurant and park in the first space I see. I turn off the ignition and turn to face Bella. "You do know that I'm not with you for sex, right? I love you, Bella. I would never do anything that you are not ready to do. Monday night was a mistake. I should never have lifted you like that and I really should never have started for your bedroom. Don't get me wrong, love, I want you. You are the sexiest, most beautiful woman I have ever known, but I understand that there are issues. I can wait."

"I don't want to wait, Edward. My heart and my body want you so much, but my mind is the hold out. The three seem to be in constant conflict with each other. I love you so much and my heart wants to show you how much. You are an extremely good looking man and my body yearns for you. But my mind... my fractured mind is afraid."

"Love, your mind is not fractured. Nothing about you is fractured. You went through a traumatic experience and you have survived it. Having issues with sex is completely normal and understandable in this situation."

"I know, Edward, but...," she starts.

"No, there is not 'but.' I love you, Bella. What do you need? I will do whatever you want me to do; just tell me what you need from me." This woman means more to me than my own life. I will do anything to keep her happy.

"I need you to be patient," she says.

"Done." I can have the patience of Job when necessary.

"I need you to be understanding," she whispers.

"That goes without saying." What kind of insensitive clod wouldn't be understanding about this situation?

"I need you to go slowly," she continues.

"Not a problem." I will move at a snail's pace if that's what she needs me to do.

"I'm scared of how I'll react. I don't know what will trigger a panic attack. I don't know what I might do. I don't know how you can and can't touch me. It would be trial and error. I'm afraid you'll get frustrated and... and...."

"What is it, Bella?" I hate it when she's afraid. I want so much to be her protector... to keep her safe.

"I'm afraid you'll run away again," she whispers as she looks down at her hands.

I close my eyes and look down at the console. I was such an idiot. I hurt her so badly with my stupidity. "I know that my words can't take away all the pain that I caused you, but I am truly sorry for leaving that night. I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you, love. I can promise you that I'm here until you make me leave. I will never voluntarily leave you again; I can't. I can't live without you, Bella." I take her hands in mine. "I love you more than life. I will love you even if we never make love to each other. I will do whatever you need for me to do to make you comfortable."

"I think I want to start with baby steps. Can we do that?" she tentatively asks.

"Of course, love. Baby steps are always good." I'll take newborn preemie steps for her.

"I'll probably talk more than you want me to talk during... you know. I need to communicate to you what I'm feeling."

"I know that, love. I want you to tell me everything." I need her to talk to me; to tell me what to do. It's been a long time since I made love to a woman. Hell, I don't think I've ever done that actually.

"Thank you, Edward."

"Please, Bella, don't thank me for doing what I should. I don't want it to feel like something you're obligated to do. I want you to want it as much as I want it. I want you to be comfortable and to enjoy yourself."

"Still... most men wouldn't put up with my issues," she says as she looks down again.

"I'm not like most men. I'm not 'him.' Are you still hungry? Do you still want Indian food?" She smiles and nods. "Then let's go inside and eat. And, Bella, no matter what happens I want you to know that I will always love you. Please, never forget that." She nods and smiles. I kiss her each of her hands and get out of the car.

~*~*~*~*~

As we leave the restaurant, I ask Bella what she'd like to do now. I'm up for anything, but like most of our dates, this night is all about her. "Well, can we go back to your place?" she asks. I nod as I help her into the car. She's come a long way with going out at night, but I know that she still feels safer inside a familiar area when the sun goes down.

As we drive back to my townhouse, I notice that she's being extremely quiet. Not that she talks much anyway, but it's more the normal. I give her hand a squeeze and ask, "Is everything alright, love?"

"Yes, of course," she says smiling, but it's a smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes.

"Are you sure?" I press.

"Just nervous," she says, looking out the window.

"Why?" I chuckle. "What is there to be nervous about, Bella? We're just going back to my place to cuddle on the couch and watch TV. Why are you nervous?"

"Well, we just had the sex talk and I guess I'm a little nervous that you might be expecting to try tonight. I don't want it to feel forced, Edward. I don't want to be thinking that 'this is it' every time we're alone. I want it to be spontaneous."

"Okay. That's fine. I hadn't really thought about trying anything tonight anyway." I squeeze her hand again. "Seriously, Bella, I'm not with you for that. I can wait as long as you need me to wait. I'm not pressuring you. Please don't think that I am."

"I know, Edward. I told you that I'm a mess."

"Well, we can be messes together," I say as I park in front of my townhouse. I go around the car to open Bella's door. When we get inside, I notice that Bella is looking around the townhouse. "What?" I ask as I take Bella's coat.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd think a woman lived her with you. This place is always so clean."

I smile and laugh a little to myself. "I have a housekeeper, Bella. Jane comes in at least once a week and cleans the townhouse. She does my laundry too." Her eyebrows shoot up at this. "I've always had a housekeeper; even when I was a kid. I've never had to clean a house in my life."

"So, you've never cleaned a toilet?" I shake my head. "You've never mopped floors?" I shake my head again. "You've never had to fold your own socks?"

"Nope, nope, and nope," I say.

Her eyes narrow as she stares me down. "How rich are you?" she asks.

"I have enough of my own money to be extremely comfortable for a long time. That's why I'm not too upset about the prospect of losing my job. I'll have to cut back a little, but not so much as anyone will notice," I say as I hang my coat on the rack by the door.

"What about your family?" she asks.

"My parents are very wealthy, but I haven't relied on their money for many years now. Do we have to talk about this, Bella?" I hate talking about money... especially my money. Yes, I would be considered more than just comfortable. Yes, my family isn't just rich; they're wealthy. I don't want that to be how people define me.

"Does it make you uncomfortable?" she asks, tilting her head to one side.

"Actually, yes it does. I don't like being defined by the number on my bank statement. In the past, women have only wanted to be with me for my family and their money. I'm not my family. I don't want you to look at me differently because you know that my family is wealthy."

She wraps her arms around my waist. "I would never do that," she says. "You know that I don't have that same background. I guess it makes me a little nervous knowing that you come from money. It makes me wonder why you would want to be with me when you could have some high society debutante."

I pull back so I can look into her eyes. "Have you seen those women? Trust me, my parents tried, but I do have taste. None of them could ever hold a candle to you, Bella." I lean down and softly kiss her. "I have enough to take care of you, Bella... if you'd let me. I want that, you know. I want to give you everything you've ever wanted. I want to make you the happiest woman in the world for the rest of your life."

A tear rolls down her cheek. "You don't have to give me anything to make me happy, Edward. I'm happy right here in your arms." She kisses me much harder than I kissed her. Her arms pull me closer as she presses her body against mine. I brush her lower lip with my tongue, asking for entrance. I press my tongue inside her mouth and hear a low moan escape from her. It's the most passionate kiss we've ever had. I pull back to gauge her reaction. Her eyes mirror the desire I feel in every cell of my body.

She closes her eyes and takes a breath before she nods for me to continue. I softly kiss her velvet lips again then move down to her neck. She gasps as I take her earlobe in my mouth and nibble lightly. "I love you," I whisper in her ear. Her whole body suddenly becomes stiff. I pull back so I can see her face. "What's wrong, Bella?"

"You can't... please don't... I... you... I just...," she stutters as she shakes her head rapidly from side to side.

"Bella, calm down. Breathe, Bella. Please tell what I did wrong so I can never do it again."

She takes a shaky breath before she speaks. "You can't whisper in my ear. I... I... can't take it. He... the Beast... James... he whispered in my ear. Please don't," she gasps quickly.

"It's okay, love," I say as I wrap her in my arms again. "Note to self: Never whisper in Bella's ear ever again. It will never happen again. I'm sorry. Let's go into the living room and watch some TV, before I have to take you home." I take her hand and start to lead her to the couch.

"No," she says as she pulls back on my hand. "Kiss me again."

"But, Bella, you said...."

"Kiss me again," she insists. She takes a step toward me. I'm confused. I thought she wanted spontaneity. "Edward," she says firmly, "kiss me." I lean down and place a gentle, feather-light kiss on her lips. I pull back and she scowls at me. "Not like that. Kiss me like you did before."

"Bella...." I don't want to make her uncomfortable and I'm afraid that if I push it tonight, we'll go too far.

"Edward, I want you to kiss me like you did before and I want you to do it now... please?" The last word comes out as a question. What is she questioning? Surely she doesn't think that I won't kiss her because I don't want her. She has to know how much I want her. Doesn't she know?

I take her face in my hands and I kiss her. I kiss her with all the passion in my body. I kiss her with all the love in my soul. I kiss her like I've never kissed another woman in my life. As my tongue enters her mouth again, she melts into my body. I wrap my arms around her and pull her to me. Her hands weave into my hair. I can't help myself – I moan.

I pull back from her lips and start trailing kisses down her neck. I make a point of staying away from her ears. She throws her head back and I almost lose control. Her neck is completely exposed to me. I gently lick along her jaw line. She tastes like honey and vanilla.

My hands move up the side of her body and I cup her breast in my hand. She takes in a breath so I move my hand away and place it on her hip. "It's okay, Edward; you can touch me there." I move my hand slowly back to her breast. I kiss her mouth again. Her tongue pushes into my mouth this time. I pull back suddenly; shocked that she would be so forward with me. She smiles and blushes as she looks down.

"I'm sorry," I mumble. "You just... startled me. I liked it though." Now I'm the one blushing. She giggles softly.

I start kissing her again. I want to make love to this woman... now, but I don't want to rush her. I have to concentrate to keep my hormones from overriding my brain. I feel her hands graze my chest. It takes a moment for my mind to register what she's doing. She's unbuttoning my shirt!

"Bella!" I take her by the wrists and stop her before she gets to the next button. "What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to take off your shirt," she says, smirking at me.

"You said baby steps." I thought she wanted to go slow. This doesn't seem slow. I release her wrists and her hands drop onto my chest.

"I took a baby step. I told you that I can't handle you whispering in my ear; baby step number one. Now, I'm taking baby step number two. I'm going to take off your shirt. We'll go from there, okay?" She nods to me and I feel my head nod in response, but I'm still confused. "Edward, I want you. I want to show you how much I love you and how much I cherish having you in my life. I want to share something with you that I've only ever shared willingly with one other person." Okay, now I feel guilty. I cringe as I remember all the whoring around I did before I met Bella. Sex is obviously something that is special to Bella and I treated it far less than special in the past. "What?" she asks.

"I don't deserve you. You are far too good for me." I don't know how, or even if, I should tell her about my past sexual escapades. I'm truly ashamed of myself... more so now that usual. "Bella, um, you should know. I, uh, I've been with more than just one other person."

"I kind of assumed that, Edward. I didn't tell you that to make you uncomfortable. I'm sorry if it did."

"It's just that... I, um... you see, I.... You should know that, um...." I'm stumbling over this like an idiot. I don't know what to tell her. This is nuts. I sigh and look at the floor. I was such a whore! "Bella, I've been with a lot of women. I'm extremely ashamed of it. I didn't treat sex as anything special in the past. It was actually more of a recreational sport for me. I'm not proud at all of my past. I wish I could change it, but I can't. I want you to know that I have never made love to a woman before. It was always just meaningless sex. I know that sounds bad, but I say it so that you can understand that with you it will be different. With you it will mean something. I want to make love to you. I want to show you that I love you and that you are the only woman for me for the rest of my life. I want you to be the first and last woman I make love with; you're it for me, Bella."

Bella licks her lips. She reaches out and starts to unbutton my shirt again. I look up and ask with my eyes if she's sure. She whispers, "Baby steps," as she moves to the next button. She finishes unbuttoning my shirt and pushes it down my shoulders. I shrug and let it fall to the floor. She leans in and gently kisses my chest. I shiver at the sensation of her lips on my skin.

I take her face in my hands again. "Bella, are you sure?" She nods so I slowly pull her shirt up over her head and toss it to the floor. I pause long enough to gauge her reaction. Her eyes are closed, but she doesn't appear to be frightened in any way. I look down at her exposed body. I have dreamt of this moment; of seeing her body in all its glory. My dreams could never be as good as the reality of Bella. She is exquisite. I run my finger gingerly along the top of her bra. She gasps and then sighs.

"You are so beautiful," I whisper as I kiss her forehead; her cheek; her lips. She reaches behind her back and lets her bra drop to the floor. She takes a step into me and I feel her flesh against my own. I wrap her in my arms and trace small circles on her back as I kiss her lips again. My body is on fire for her. I want to take her upstairs to my bed, but I'm a little confused as to what she considers "baby steps." Scooping her into my arms and running up the stairs sounds like a "giant leap" to me.

"Bella, love, I really want you right now. I mean, I really want you, but I don't know how far to go tonight. You're going to have to take the lead. You let me know what you can handle and I'll follow. Is that alright?"

"I don't know how far I can go either. I'm just trying things and seeing how it affects me. I know that sounds stupid, but I don't know what else to do. It's like going outside alone. I went a little farther every time. I think we just need to keep going slow. So far, I'm okay with everything... except the ears."

"Do you want to go upstairs?" I ask. She starts to bite her lower lip. I can tell that she's thinking about it. 'Little Eddie' is chanting for her to say yes. I mentally tell him to shut the fuck up.

"You won't hurt me." Why did that sound a little like a question?

"No, love, I will never hurt you. I love you. I'll follow your lead, Bella." I brush her cheek with my fingertips. She takes my hand and leads me to the stairs.