Chapter 29: A Pirate's Life For Me

The LEGO ship just took off from Rucksack Village.

"By far, the most insane chapter we've ever had." Lunatic said.

"Now, Loon, what did I say?" D-Dude asked.

"Don't break the fourth wall…unless the author said so." Loon filled in.

TL held out a new crystal.

(Flashback…)

"Yo, Dumbledore!" TL called as he entered the house alone. Dumbledore was waiting.

"Ah, TL. Decided to come alone, I see." Dumbledore said, calmly.

"Well, Ranger's chasing after Lunatic and the others are seeing what they can do, so I figured why not." TL shrugged. He held out a few scraps of paper, "D-Dude found some pages to the book."

"Thank you." Dumbledore said as he took the papers from TL and placed them inside the book. Immediately, the pages fused to the binding.

"And I was looking for Angela." TL said.

"Oh, hope I'm not too late…" a voice said as Angela burst in, "Hello, TL. This would normally be the part where I ask you 'how are you doing?' and you would reply 'just fine.', but we both know that isn't true."

"Yeah." TL sighed, "Still haven't found a trace of my friends…and it looks like Keyblader's goin' off the deep end."

"Depends on whether he was in the shallow end to begin with." Angela said, "Now, is there a reason you came here?"

"Yeah, I got something that could be another summon crystal." TL said as he tossed the Pasta Pebble to Angela.

"Why, it most certainly is." Angela replied, "Just a little word and he's free as a bird."

Angela said a few words in the Ancient Language and the Pasta Pebble became another summon crystal.

"Alrighty, let's give it a test run!" TL grinned as he took the crystal and held it up, "GIVE ME STRENGTH!"

A fat, orange cat with stripes emerged from out of nowhere.

"Show me a good mouser and I'll show you a cat with bad breath." The cat, Garfield, said.

Garfield pulled out a large piece of garlic bread and immediately scarfed it down. TL grabbed the cat around the gut and squeezed him, tightly. Garfield belched, loudly, and released a cloud of noxious-looking gas.

"See ya 'round!" Garfield said as he vanished.

(End flashback)

"So, what's our next world?" TL asked.

"Some place called Alabasta." D-Dude replied.

"Might as well." Kakashi said as he continued drying his Icha Icha Paradise book with a hair-dryer, "I just hope it doesn't involve underwater exploration…"

Alabasta…

"Alright, compared to the previous change, this is actually a pretty decent upgrade." TL said.

TL was now wearing a pair of buckled boots, a black jacket, and a tri-corn hat on his head.

Lunatic now had a small, green straw hat, a blue jacket, and a pair of red sweats.

"How'd I end up with this?" Lunatic asked, gesturing to his hat.

"I dunno. But I think it's kind of an odd combination of clothes." D-Dude, who was unchanged, shrugged.

Sasuke now had a white shirt, a brown vest, stockings, a pair of buckled shoes, and black pants.

"When'd I go Spanish Maine on everyone?" Sasuke asked.

"Probably when I did." Kakashi said.

Kakashi now had a black vest, a white shirt, brown pants and boots, and a red bandana where his headband used to be.

"Well, those outfits don't exactly fit you guys." TL said to Kakashi, Sasuke, and Loony, "Ninjas in pirate garbs…"

"YOU'RE RIGHT!" Lunatic shouted, "I SHOULDN'T BE WEARING THESE! I SHOULD BE SPITTING ON 'EM!"

"Loon, I was joking." TL said as he zapped Loon.

"YEOW!" Lunatic yelped. He landed in a heap and looked around, "Well, if this place has us dressing like pirates, do ya think there are MORE pirates here?"

"No duh." Sasuke said, "But, if they're looking for trouble, we'll fight 'em off like we always do."

"He's got a point there, Loon." Kakashi nodded.

"Guys, look over there." D-Dude said.

Dark Souls were hopping in circles. TL summoned his Keyblade on instinct, but…

"ATTENTION PEOPLE OF ALABASTA!" called a voice as a man with a long nose, giant lips, a pilot helmet, and a pair of overalls. He was obviously rehearsing, "Welcome the pirate who helped me fight off the evil crew of Baroque Works—Monkey D. Luffy!"

The Dark Souls made sweeping bows as a pair of fists sprung from the ground. Suddenly, a kid in his mid-teens burst from the ground. He had untidy black hair under a straw hat, a red vest over a bare chest, a pair of rolled-up jeans, a scar under his right eye, and a wide smile.

"Cool!" the man exclaimed, "That'll make the crowds whoop in the festival today."

"Thanks, Usopp." The other man, Monkey D. Luffy (One Piece), grinned, "But I think it's kinda missing something. The people should go 'oh, this is SO COOL!'. Maybe Sanji can help."

Luffy then took off running as Usopp (One Piece) said, "Then the CAPTAIN will attend to the decorations!"

"What was up with that?" Sasuke asked.

"I dunno." TL said, "Let's find out."

The group took off to where Luffy was running.

TL's group arrived at a ship with a giant sheep head.

"What kinda nut would go around in a ship shaped like THIS?" Lunatic asked.

"YOU." Sasuke deadpanned.

"I RESENT THAT!" Loon shouted. D-Dude smacked Lunatic over the head again, "WHAT NOW?"

"Horse fly." D-Dude said.

"Guys, TL's already checking it out." Kakashi said as he continued reading his Icha Icha Paradise.

TL looked in to see Luffy was talking with two people—a man with greenish-blue hair, three swords, tanned skin, a few piercings on his ear, a white shirt, and black pants. The other had blonde hair, a tuxedo, and a cigarette in his mouth. TL covered his nose. Tobacco was a hallucinogen for Fictorians.

"What happened?" Luffy asked.

"Maybe that guidance system was damaged in the explosion." The man with green hair shrugged.

"Don't ask me." The blonde man stated, "I'm a friggin' COOK, NOT a mechanic."

"I'VE GOT IT!" Luffy exclaimed, "The Dark Souls need a heart! Sanji, do ya think we could add a heart to that device?"

"No problem." The blonde, Sanji (One Piece), replied, "A heart isn't that complicated."

"Then, let's get to it." The green-haired man grinned. He held out a book labeled 'Heart Making for Pirates' and read, "FIRST, we need a container with a lock…"

Sanji pulled out a small, red box shaped like a heart with a lock on it. There was the word 'Nami' written on it, but he quickly smeared it with his sleeve. Sanji then tried prying it open.

"You've gotta get it unlocked first." The green-haired man stated.

"Goofcase, what're you doing?" Sasuke asked as TL made to enter through a porthole.

"I'm gonna help 'em." TL replied, "Don't you wanna see the Dark Souls DANCE?"

Sasuke had a brief image of Dark Souls dancing and simply said, "No."

"Well, I'm still helping 'em." TL said.

TL then jumped through the porthole, catching Sanji and the man with green hair, named Zoro (One Piece), off-guard.

"THAT WAS COOL!" Luffy exclaimed.

"You guys need something unlocked?" TL asked, summoning Konoha Ninja, "I can solve that."

TL tapped the heart-shaped box and with a small 'click', it unlocked.

"Wow. How'd a giant key-sword do that?" Zoro asked.

"Who're you again? I'm Monkey D. Luffy!" Luffy introduced.

"TLSoulDude." TL replied.

"Just don't get us involved…" Sasuke murmured.

"And the guys outside are my brothers and friends—Dimensiondude, Lunatic121, Sasuke Uchiha, and Kakashi Hatake."

"Should that vein be throbbing, Sasuke?" Kakashi asked.

"Well, I'd love it if you two would be part of the upcoming festival!" Luffy exclaimed with a large grin.

"And I'd love to be part of it." TL grinned.

"How many times does he have to decimate the world order?" Kakashi asked.

"As many times as possible." Lunatic replied.

"Hey, guys!" TL called, "C'mon in!"

"Is it me or are those two similar?" D-Dude asked.

"Both over-enthusiastic idiots?" Sasuke asked.

"I think ya hit the nail on the head." D-Dude said as the four jumped onto the large ship.

TL then noticed a Dark Soul laying on the table.

"Hey, what's that Dark Soul doing here?" the hedgehog asked.

"The Dark Souls appeared in Alabasta recently." Zoro replied, "They tried killing us, but they weren't a match."

"But I can't get 'em to dance." Luffy said, "So, Sanji, Zoro, and I are tryin' to improve the guidance system. They're quite the geniuses."

"Well, me more than Zoro." Sanji said as he took a puff of his cigarette.

"Say that again." Zoro said, fingering one of his swords.

D-Dude and Lunatic sniffed the air. Their pupils immediately widened and began doing a duet version of the Truck Driving Song by Weird Al.

"What's going on?" Sasuke asked.

TL quickly covered his nose and swiped Sanji's cigarette and stomped it out after tossing it on the ground.

"Uh…tobacco's a powerful hallucinogen to Fictorians." He said, nervously. He looked at his two brothers singing, "They'll be like that for a while."

"I have an idea." Sasuke said.

The two hallucinating Fictorians were tossed into the brig, tied up.

"Now, let's continue." Luffy grinned, "To make a heart, you need pulse…"

Zoro pulled out a blood pressure meter.

"Emotion…"

TL pulled out a copy of 'For One More Day' by Mitch Albom.

"Terror and Fear…"

Sasuke pulled out copies of Alone in the Dark and Batman & Robin.

"Why were you carrying those?" Kakashi asked.

"I was hoping we'd come across a black hole somewhere." Sasuke shrugged.

D-Dude and Lunatic suddenly burst out of the brig. Lunatic was still tied up.

"We might've been hallucinating, but that's still taking it TOO far!" D-Dude snarled.

"And WHY are emo's knots so dang strong?" Lunatic demanded as he began pulling.

"Because a knot's gonna come in handy, moron." Sasuke stated.

"STOP CALLING ME MORON!" Lunatic shouted.

"We still need Hope and Despair." Sasuke said.

"Oh, we could help you out." D-Dude said as he used his claws to slice through Lunatic's bonds. D-Dude pulled out an exact replica of the Crest of Hope from Digimon.

"Hey, where'd you get that?" TL asked.

"Life's full of mystery, bro." D-Dude simply said.

"And here's my Despair." Lunatic said, putting down a pile of paper.

"Insane Critic: My Immortal review?" Kakashi asked.

"HEY, I HAD A LOT OF DESPAIR READING THAT!" Lunatic shouted, defensively.

"Now, all we've gotta do is mix 'em together and we have a heart." Luffy grinned.

Sanji hooked the various items up to an odd-looking device and pulled a switch. Electricity pulsed into the Dark Soul, who began spasming. It lifted its hand…but immediately dropped it.

"CRAP!" Zoro swore, "IT FAILED!"

"Maybe we're just missing some ingredients." D-Dude suggested.

"How about adding memory?" Sanji said to himself as he pulled out another cigarette. TL used levitation to pull it out of his mouth, "I hate that hedgehog." He then looked around before calling, "Nami? Nami? Where is she?" Sanji then looked at Luffy, "Track her down, will ya?"

"Sure!" Luffy grinned, "TL, do you wanna come with us?"

"You have to ask?" TL asked, grinning.

"I'm coming with." Zoro said, "I've gotta stretch my legs, anyway."

Luffy, Zoro, and TL walked off.

"Should we follow 'em?" Lunatic asked.

"WHY does he insist on doing this?" Sasuke growled in exasperation. The others began following the three.