Me: I have succeeded in my quest to capture Finn. What? You didn't know he ran away?

Finn: -tied up in chair-

Me: That'll teach you.

Finn: MRG! –tries to move-

Me: NO! –whacks with celery-

Finn: MRR!

Me: SHUT UP. I'm trying to talk. Anywho, I had to chase him over the purple mountains, across the rainbow river, and through the candy mountains.

Charlie the Unicorn: -appears- NO! NO CANDY MOUNTAIN!

–disappears-

Me: -pause- Well that was weird. I didn't know I had him.

Twin Unicorns: -appears- Candy mountain Charlieee, candy mountain!

–disappears-

Me: Oh. Them too. ANYWAY. On with the chapter.

Chapter 29

Percy POV

Did I mention how much I hate bear-hounds? I think I have, but we'll just go over the basics. I hate bear-hounds. They're like the stupidest things to ever roam this earth, and I use 'earth' loosely, because they never die. Kat probably thought that we could use them to drive off enemies, but unfortunately, there really was no way the monsters could distinguish enemies from good guys. Especially when there was a colony of them already angry from us attacking. At this rate, I was certain we were going to have to run forever when I heard loud screams in front of us. And they were getting closer.

"What do we do?" Arianna asked frantically. I looked around.

"Climb a tree?" I suggested.

"Wait! I think I know where we are! HELP!" Finn yelled, waving his arms over his head. The screams were louder, sounding like a bunch of girls, and they were carrying lanterns. As we got closer, I could see that it was a group of girls. They were waving their lanterns around and screaming like they were being chased by an axe-murderer. I was thinking they were running to kill us, but they ran right past us and towards the bear-hounds. I turned in astonishment and terror to see the girls being torn apart, but it didn't happen.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" they screamed and the bear-hounds were hissing and snarling and loping around, trying to get past the screaming girls. Then, they turned and ran away. They ran away.

"Thanks…" Arianna said suspiciously. The girls turned towards us.

"Ah, no problem, night-watch was getting boring," the lead girl said. "So who exactly are you?"

"We're from the academy back there," I said, pointing behind us. The girls gasped.

"OMG! They're students! We're sorry Your Majesties! Follow us to the kingdom!" the lead girl said, and they all curtsied.

"Your Majesties?" I muttered.

"I'm Melissa, by the way," the girl said.

"Uh, I'm Finn, that's Percy and this is Arianna." We all waved a bit as he said our names.

"Come inside before it gets cold or the bear-hounds come back." The girls headed off and we followed, reluctant to go anywhere else without our bear-hound protection.

"Where are we, exactly?"

"We're in the fandoms," Finn said to me. Then he frowned. "BLEEP," he said. He looked shocked and turned around.

"What was that?" A voice from nowhere whispered to us: "No cursing. We censor everything with a bleep."

"Oh. I forgot about that," Finn sighed. "I hate fandoms so much."

"What are fandoms, exactly?" Arianna raised her hand as we walked down a cobblestone path and the girls talking excitedly in front of us.

"It's where the fangirls live and rule. Scary creatures."

"A what?" I asked.

"Fangirl. Girls who are absolutely dedicated to a band, artist or whatever and have official fanbases wherever you go. Katycats, Little Monsters… they all live here. I just hope we didn't run into Beliebers. They're scary. They throw all this random stuff at you and it hurts. A lot."

"Katycats? Little Monsters? Beliebers?"

"Katycats are supporters of Katy Perry. Little Monsters are supporters of Lady Gaga and Beliebers support-"

"Justin Bieber," Arianna finished. Finn nodded.

"But they worship us."

"Because of Kat," Finn said. "She established these fandoms here when they were just little villages. When there were more fangirls coming in, they had to expand, thus creating the fandoms."

"How many are there?" I asked.

"I have no idea," Finn admitted. "Um. Directioners, Little Monsters, Katycats, Beliebers, Mahomies…"

"Is he speaking English?" I whispered to Arianna. She shrugged, looking about as confused as I wa.s

"Arianators, Selenators… I think those are the major ones…" Finn said, ticking them off of his fingers. We walked through a huge gateway, leading to a whole city inside of a humongous castle. There were cottages and everyone was talking in a British accent, eating late-night soup with a fork, and walking their cats.

"Um. What's wrong with them?"

"I don't know. I don't even know what this fandom is. Maybe Arianators?"

"Soup without spoons?"

"AHHHH!" a girl nearby screamed when Arianna said 'spoons'.

"What? What did I say?"

"SHE SAID THE WORD! NO!"

"What word?"

"After 'without'," Melissa said gently, now next to us.

"Soup?"

"No. Other word."

"Spoons?" Arianna said after a while. Everyone screamed again. I covered my ears.

"I don't like this place too much," I informed Finn. He shouted back at me, "WHAT?" because he had his ears covered too.

Finn POV

I had only visited one fandom, and that was after a hunger strike in the Selenator fandom. They were all pretty nice and didn't scream at the word 'spoons'. I wondered what was up with that. I soon found out when we were walked up to the castle door. The door was opened by two girls brandishing knives, and there was a lavish hall, covered in electric blue carpeting and pictures of turtles and cats occasionally found on various parts of the wall. A girl stepped out of nowhere, dressed in an extravagant gown and a golden crown on her head. She was carrying a leather staff and used it as she walked over to us.

"Who are these peasants?"

"These are students at the Academy, my queen," Melissa said. The girl grinned and clapped her hands.

"Oh what great company! I absolutely adore students!"

"We're just passing through… my queen," Percy said. The girl glanced to him.

"You look like you've seen a ghost. Oh! Do I have something on my face? Mirror!" and a thousand girls whipped out mirrors like they were in their backpocket or something. The girl took one and looked at herself in it.

"I don't think they know where they are. They said… the word out there, Your Highness." The girl frowned and turned around, strutting across the carpet on the other side of the room.

"I do not have many rules here in the Directioner Fandom, but saying that word is a certain 'no'." She sat down in a throne.

"I am Queen Chelsea of the Directioner Fandom. And what brings these students to my halls?"

"We're traveling," I said. Queen Chelsea nodded.

"I doubt my girls would have brought you in if you were just traveling."

"They were being chased by bear-hounds," Melissa said.

"Oh! Those nasty things. Of course, of course. There is a colony nearby, didn't we drive those out?"

"Er, no…"

"Well for Nando's sake, you can't just let bear-hounds attack people willy-nilly!"

"You never gave the order, my queen."

"I thought it was a given. Hunt them down in the morning. I have to discuss things with the travelers. Off you go," she waved her hand. The girls looked around warily and left the room, leaving us with Queen Chelsea, who seemed to have taken quite an interest in us.

Me: Ah fandoms. Did I forget any important ones? We run into Little Monsters and Beliebers in the next chapter, heads up. I got the idea for this when my friend was like: "This Belieber that I see on twitter is disgusting."

Finn: MRGG!

Me: Do you want me to do my homework, Finny? Good point.

Read and Review? Are you part of a fandom? Tell me, and give me a name and I'll shove you in the chapter somewhere. And did I miss any? I'm certain I did, there are a lot out there. Who knew fangirls screaming could drive away bear-hounds? Sensitive ears, I guess. I created them that way, they have to have some weakness. Gary-Stu monsters… oh that would be hilarious. So perfectly monstrous. Next catchphrase for a book? I think so.